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NWA: Total Nonstop Action #6
July 24, 2002
LIVE! From Nashville, Tennessee

by Emerson “I am watching this instead of No Way Out or Game 3 of the Thunder-Heat” Witner

Let's see if I made the right decision, shall we?

NWA World: Ken Shamrock (since June 19, 2002)
TNA X-Division: AJ Styles (since June 26, 2002)
NWA World Tag Team: AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn (since July 3, 2002)
Miss TNA: Taylor Vaughn (since June 26, 2002)

In case you missed it, here's what you missed last week on NWA: TNA....

-Goldylocks appeared on the show 8 times and was called a bitch before watching a midget masturbate in a trash can and being threatened by K-Krush.

-Jeff Jarrett was attacked by Scott Hall, so Jarrett was thrown out of the building and didn't get his #1 Contender's Ladder Match.

-No worry because Sabu randomly appeared and beat Malice, despite a nose bleed that somehow caused him to be unable to see.

-Jerry Lynn demanded respect from AJ Styles, so AJ beat the fucking shit out of him.

-Mike Tenay gave a shout out to PWInsider.com and WrestlingObserver.com for praising the prior weeks show. Chico Alvarez shed a tear in Woodenville. Fuck off, Stevie J.

-The Flying Elvis' won a match, despite Sonny Siaki being too out of breath to do commentary between moves.

-Jasmine St. Claire was given a shower by Francine, which caused her nipples to be visible during her 2 minute match later on.

-AJ Styles beat Low Ki, but then Jerry Lynn returned the favor by beating the fuck out of him.

-Brian Lawler continued a feud with his father, but lost to Scott Hall in the main event. No worries because Lawler, Krush and Jeff Jarrett ended the show by beating down the Outsider.

And that's what you missed on NWA: TNA.

The show starts off with horrible looking production...and Jeff Jarrett beating down security in the ring for some reason.

Apparently he has been in the ring ranting for five minutes. He is demanding Ken Shamrock to bring him his title belt now.

Jarrett vows not the leave the building until the title is around his waist.

We are taken backstage where Ken Shamrock is beating up security for some reason, which may be my favorite line of this review.

Shamrock is telling off Bullet Bob and Ron (or Don) Harris, but instead of Ken you can hear Jeff Jarrett complaining.

Shamrock leaves the room and tries to block the door, but Ian Harrison volunteers to not let anyone in or out of the ring.

Bill Behrens wanders out and tells Jarrett that he is suspended for 60 days.

Jarrett, being the fine, upstanding citizen that he is, hit Bill with a chair.

Ken Shamrock finally runs to the ring to beat up Jarrett.

Monty Brown and Apollo deputize themselves as security and run in to hold Ken back, which allowed Jarrett to hit Ken with a chair.

Brian Lawler and K-Krush take their friend to the back.

-We go to the broadcast team for an on-camera. I only bring this up because it looks like half of the arena is in the dark.

Match #1
Amazing Red vs Low-Ki

It is a battle of wrestlers from Brooklyn. Crimson is the guest referee, while Cryme Tyme are your guest commentators.

Ki with a few leg kicks to start, but Red sends Ki to the outside and nails a hurricarana on the outside, sending Ki to the mats.

Red goes for a second Hurricarana, but Ki tosses him off and kicks Red right on the top of the head, which makes Don mark out as Red flips over twice.

Ki with a double under hook suplex into a front sleeper. Ki sets Red upside down on the top turnbuckle and then slaps on a Dragon Sleeper, which has both men hanging upside down.

Red manages to kick Ki in the head, which Ki responded by kicking him everywhere and anywhere.

Red manages to hit the Code Red, which was much more impressive when Trevor Murdoch did it very briefly in 2007. Red with a Tornado DDT for a 2 99/100.

Red misses a cross body block, but then hits Trouble In Paradise, before missing a Corkscrew Moonsault.

Low Ki finishes off Red with a Ki-Krusher 99.

Winner: Low-Ki
Time: 7:27

-Backstage Jeff Jarrett and Goldylocks run into Ian Harrison, who tells him to fuck off and if they want to fight then to get it on. Hey at least John Cena didn't show up until the show the next night when he was fired that time. Jarrett was on the show, making a match for himself, 10 minutes later.

Before the next match Cassidy O'Reilly made a penis joke.

Match #2
The Hot Shots vs Chris Harris & James Storm

Harris and Storm was thrown together as a team because the stereotypical redneck team refused to wrestle the stereotypical gay team. They were beaten down before they could wrestle for the Tag Team Titles and weren't seen again for three weeks, but no one seemed to notice or care.

Before the show Goldylocks interviewed Harris and Storm, who said it was the Hot Shots who brutally attacked them. Storm acted like an over the top stereotypical cowboy, while Harris told him to knock it the fuck off.

Harris said he picked Storm as a partner. Actually he didn't. Bill Behrens made them a team because they showed up to work an hour late.

The Hot Shots, in case you forgot, are Cassidy O'Reilly and Chase Stevens, who would later become Raven's temporary lackey and the blonde Natural.

The match started in the aisle way, after all 4 men were kind enough to wait for the pre-taped interview to finish before they began brawling.

In the ring Harris hit a spear on one of them, but later on The Hot Shots got the heat by hitting Storm with the mats outside the ring.

O'Reilly hit a split legged moonsault on Storm for a 2 count. Stevens goes for a Moonsault, Storm tries to roll out of the way, but Stevens hits it anyway. Storm makes a hot tag, so Harris is a house on fire.

Storm hits a Scorpion Death Drop from the middle rope on O'Reilly, while Harris picks up the win, hitting a Northern Lights Suplex on Stevens.

Winners: Chris Harris and James Storm
Time: 4:40

After the match, The Hot Shots hit both men with a German Suplex/Superkick combination.

-To the back where Goldylocks is watching Ken Shamrock have his neck massaged by a doctor.

Match #3
Apollo vs Brian Lawler

Most of the fans seem to not care that Brian Lawler is coming out through the heel side of the entrance ramp, but quickly catch on to the handful of fans chanting “Jerry's Kid”.

Lawler threw his ring jacket at Don West and it hit Mike Tenay.

Apollo throws around BL a bit, which causes Brian to rip his necklace off and throw it down. You show that necklace who is boss!

Not that it mattered, as Apollo got a near-fall off of a sit-out power bomb.

Apollo runs into Lawler's foot in the corner, so Brian makes up to his necklace by choking Apollo with it, much to the indifference of Slick Johnson.

Both men miss a clothesline, which leads to Lawler celebrating...and getting hit with a clothesline. Apollo hits a Superkick, but Lawler gets out of the TKO and hits a Scorpion Death Drop.

Lawler danced and hit a neck breaker. Instead of making the cover, he danced to the crowd some more, so Apollo rolled him up for three.

Winner: Apollo
Time: 7:04

Brian walked around, where Don West told him he did a good job. Brian was offended by this, so he gripped up Don by his lapels, while Tenay, Ferrara and The Fat Naked Oily Guy pulled Brian off.

-K-Krush came out, wearing an Allen Iverson jersey, which in 2002 makes you cool.

A tape of Krush choking Norman Smiley and Scott Hal last week aired, which just reminded you as to how much they cut the production budget in one week.

Krush said his name is The Truth and to no longer call him K-Krush. Okie dokie.

Truth said he will walk and talk when he wants to walk and talk, no matter what they want. Immortal is coming back?

Truth says he knows how the other great ones, like himself, feel. So The Truth knows how he feels? That's good, I guess.

After talking about various black athletes who have been arrested like Iverson, Mike Tyson and OJ Simpson, he was interrupted by Monty Brown (complete with Abyss' music).

Brown talks about being a 2-time AFC Champion (Buffalo and New England...before they won anything), but leaving that career to become a wrestler. Brown says Truth can talk the talk, but may not be able to walk the walk and that K-Krush ain't all that.

Truth says he has no problems with Brown. A fan was nice enough to point out who Truth does have a problem with by yelling “WHITEY!”

Truth calls Brown an Uncle Tom, which leads to a brawl. Since TNA can only afford so much security (who have been unconscious for 44 minutes or so), no one breaks them up as Brown lays out Truth with an Alpha Bomb.

-A video reminder of the AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn rivalry over the past 5 weeks aired, as we get set for our next match.

We then go to a pre-tape that had to be re-started when it played the first time without audio. It's of Mike Tenay interviewing the World Tag Team Champions. AJ puts over Jerry, saying he wants to be just like him, growing him and becoming a World Champion.

Lynn says ten years earlier he was in AJ's shoes, wanting to be the best he could be, saying that they will be on the same page tonight.

Match #4
NWA World Tag Team Championship
AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn vs The Flying Elvis Impersonators

All 3 Elvis' are in the building, with Yang back from a tour of All Japan. It appears to be Jimmy Yang and Jorge Estrada challenging Styles and Lynn.

Siaki joins the announce table, which is great since you can't hear a thing he says. Don West gave his headset to Siaki.

In the ring Lynn gives Estrada a Gory Special, while AJ gives Jerry encouragement.

AJ and Lynn working well together in the early going, as the Flying Elvis' are grounded. AJ kicks Estrada's head into the fourth row of the Fairgrounds.

Jorge puts his head back on long enough to slam AJ to the mat. Yang tags in and is hit with a spinning back suplex for a 2 count.

AJ manages to quickly tag out and drop Yang with a tilt a whirl back breaker. AJ tagged in and went for a Tombstone, but Yang reversed it. AJ reversed that and hit a head scissors take over. AJ went for a springboard cross body, but Yang turned it into a gut buster.

Siaki left the announce table long enough to clothesline AJ, who was on the floor.

The Elvis' take over as Siaki rejoins the announce table.

Estrada almost wins the tag titles with the Side Effect. Somewhere Matt Hardy was watching and thinking “I must steal that!”

Siaki threatens Don West as Estrada gets a 2 count off of an Asai Moonsault. AJ gets a small package out of nowhere, but Estrada clotheslines AJ back down.

If you remember, five weeks ago The FEI beat AJ, Lynn and Low Ki in the first ever match on TNA.

Styles hits the back flip Scorpion Death Drop and almost makes the tag to Lynn, but Yang knocks Lynn off the apron. The FEI tag in and out, taking turns stomping on the X-Division Champion.

As this match goes on, we have passed the one hour mark since the security guards were beaten and left unconscious. I know Ken Shamrock told Ian Harrison not to, but shouldn't someone be allowed to go inside and make sure they are not dead?

Anyway AJ kicks Yang to the nose, busting him wide open. Using last weeks logic, Yang may not be able to see now.

Lynn with a middle rope power bomb to Estrada, but Yang broke it up. Lynn sends Yang flying outside with a dropkick. Lynn then dives over the top onto Yang. Estrada then hit a dive over the top onto Lynn and Styles went for a dive onto the FEI, but Siaki ran over and shoved the FEI out of the way, making Styles fall into Lynn, which somehow busted open Lynn.

Lynn is now wearing the crimson mask, but is still trying to fight his way into the ring.

The FEI double team AJ for a minute, but Styles is fighting back. Finally AJ goes to the top rope for the Spiral Tap, but Lynn gets in and pins Estrada after a dive over the top rope.

Winners and STILL NWA Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn
Time: 16:23

After the match AJ threw a hissy fit over not being able to get his shit in and walked off, without stopping to see if his partner was okay.

-Disco Inferno is here! He is sitting on a very conveniently placed couch in the aisle way. Disco puts himself over as one of the Top 50 Most Beautiful Wrestlers, member of the Wolfpack and he beat Barry Horowitz over 16 times.

Disco is here to provide his knowledge and wisdom to anyone who listens, like teaching AJ Styles to be a professional and to teach Ken Shamrock how to have a personality.

Disco is going to teach all of the people of Tennessee how to speak English and will be here next week to help everyone.

Next week he will debut Jive Talkin.

-Goldylocks is backstage where Ken Shamrock talks to Ian Harrison briefly about Jeff Jarrett while security yells to be let out. Well they are alive.

Match #5
Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger vs Monty Brown & Elix Skipper

Skipper lost last week while teaming with Chris Daniels and now teams with The Alpha Male. Brown and Skipper come out the baby face tunnel, but Skipper acts all heelish.

Swinger tries to beat up Elix while Skipper has his back turned, but Brown runs in and beats down Swinger.

The heels finally take down Skipper with a clothesline after Diamond misses a dropkick.

Simon hits the 3 Amigo's on Skipper, but finishes it with a front suplex, as opposed to a normal suplex. Maybe Matt Hardy lent Eddie Guerrero his tape of this show?

Skipper avoids a corner charge by Swinger and then Diamond accidentally hits his partner, so Skipper makes the cold tag to the Alpha Male.

Brown power slams Diamond and then press slams Swinger.

The heels hit the Snapshot on Skipper, but Slick Johnson refuses to count since Skipper was not the legal man.

Brown then pinned Diamond with an Alpha Bomb.

Winners: Elix Skipper & Monty Brown
Time: 5:35

After the match The Truth ran down and choked Brown with a belt, while Skipper walked off, turning heel. Why did he bother helping his man win?

-Goldylocks is here with appearance #4 with the Dupp's. Trevor Murdoch says Goldy looks hot, while the other one wonders where Fluff is. Turns out she is with Pop Dupp, who fucked Fluff and the sheep after the last time they were together.

The Dupp's discuss how to get a match on the show, so The Other One purposely runs into Ian Harrison and challenges him to a match.

Ian rips off his pants and runs after them.

Match #6
Bo Dupp vs Ian Harrison (announced as Some Big Muscled Up Guy From The Back)

One of these years I will figure out which Dupp is named what.

This match is announced with a 20-minute time limit. There is only 20 minutes left in the show, so something tells me this will not be a time limit draw.

Stan Dupp aka Trevor Murdoch joins the announce table and wonders why Ian has an X on his ass,

Ian hits a Michinoku Driver for a 2 count, while the fans chant USA, which would mean they are pro-Dupp.

Bo almost gets the win with a big splash. Ian with a Backdrop Suplex.

The only positive of this match is, that after 90 minutes, the fucking security can leave the room and do their jobs. Why did Ken Shamrock demand a night of run-in's and post match brawling?

Ian gets a controversial 2 count, but Stan runs in with a giant board and attacks for the DQ.

Winner by DQ: Ian Harrison
Time: 2:58

After the match the Dupp's try beating on Ian, but Ian breaks their board, which makes them run away screaming.

-In the greatest moment in TNA history, well at least in 6 weeks, Jeff Jarrett removes the inanimate metal rod holding the security in the room, goes in the room, where not only does Ken Shamrock magically appear, BUT THERE IS ANOTHER FUCKING DOOR IN THE ROOM!

To reiterate..

THERE WAS A SECOND DOOR, THAT THE TRAPPED SECURITY COULD HAVE LEFT THROUGH, BUT DECIDED NOT TO. PLUS KEN FUCKING SHAMROCK, THE GUY THAT BEAT THEM ALL UP, WENT BACK INTO THE FUCKING ROOM TO WAIT FOR JEFF FUCKING JARRETT.

Now that I am done fucking cursing, Jarrett, despite being suspended 2 hours ago, is still demanding a title shot. Ron (or Don) Harris tells Shamrock to go defend the title and he will take care of this. Well he was ONE OF THE FUCKING IDIOTS TRAPPED IN THE ROOM FOR 90 MINUTES, INSTEAD OF GOING OUT THE OTHER DOOR. So I do not trust his intelligence.

Match #7
NWA World Title Match
Match can be won by submission or by climbing a ladder and grabbing the belt
Ken Shamrock vs Sabu

Sabu comes out with the most up-beat music he has ever had.

Shamrock tries winning the match 31 seconds in, using a leg lock. The NWA Title is so high in the air, I can't imagine a ladder high enough to reach it.

During the match it is announced that all security have left the building. Oh darn. The idiots who couldn't find a second door in the room have refused to work.

Little known fact, for 38 days in 2000 Sabu was the NWA Champion. He beat Mike Rapada and then lost it right back to him, for some odd, unknown reason. That makes as much sense as Adam Pearce being a 4-time champion.

Both men trade submissions, which in theory turns these rest holds into potential finishes.

Mike Tenay announces next week Ricky Steamboat will be here, having full authority of the show.

While that happened Sabu nearly killed Shamrock twice with kicks to the face.

Shamrock punched Sabu in the nose, so Sabu went for the ladder, which caused the fans to jump up in ecstasy. Shamrock doesn't want the fans happy, so he dropkicks the ladder into Sabu's face.

Shamrock sends Sabu flying into the dancers cages and then into the ring post, so Sabu returned the favor by throwing the champ into the guardrail.

Sabu set up up a table outside the ring, set Shamrock onto it and went for a Springboard Plancha, but Shamrock moved, sending Sabu crashing through the table!

Sabu is wearing the crimson....vest, since his back is bleeding.

Shamrock climbed the ladder, turns out I was wrong.

Ken's music played and the lights went off and on as Malice ran down and choke slammed Shamrock off the ladder.

Malice then climbed the ladder and grabbed the belt! Malice is walking off with the NWA Title! What the hell is going on here?

Decision: No Contest....maybe?
Time: 9:32

The show goes off the air with the announcers calling Malice a thief.

So that is it. This show had two awesome matches and the dumbest moment in 6 weeks of the show. All in all it was better than the third week, but was far from the fourth week.

Until next time, if you have any questions, comments, concerns or want to join in on my emotional outburst, send 'em my way at ewitner@yahoo.com, on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/Krazy.E.Man or on Twitter @TheReallyRealEW!