AngryMarks.com :: Pro Wrestling & Mixed Martial Arts News, Podcasts and Entertainment

Date: 10/01	7:15 PM
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Tonight's Raw finds WWE Champion CM Punk in a bit of a strange situation. While he has yet to accept John Cena's challenge for Hell in a Cell, and while the issues between the two are far from settled, Punk is now finding himself on the radar of another man: The undefeated juggernaut Ryback. Ryback clearly took issue with Punk's treatment of the Hardcore Legend Mick Foley last week. Meanwhile, the Tag Team Championship #1 Contender's Tournament continues, Sheamus debates Hell in a Cell opponent The Big Show, and more.

Raw opens with a recap of Mick Foley's appearance last week, John Cena's confrontation with Punk, and Punk's confrontation with Ryback.

Punk and Heyman are out to start the show. Punk begins, "So last week, John Cena attacks me with a pipe while my back is turned. Noble actions in a city like this, but from Chicago, that's called cowardice. It's the actions of a scared man. Fast forward a couple of minutes, I'm backstage, looking for a doctor, understandably as I was just bludgeoned by a foreign object, when I see Mick Foley, and he shoots me this look like, it can only be described as disrespectful. He mutters something under his breath that I couldn't quite make out because like John Cena, he's a coward. So I did what any man would have done: I put Mick Foley down like the dog he is and show him why I am the WWE Champion. Do you think Mick Foley would have the gall to say anything derogatory to John Cena? Do you think Mick Foley would have the gall to say anything derogatory to his friend Dwayne? These are rhetorical questions, because I already know the answer. Do you think Mick Foley would've had the gall to say anything derogatory to Steve Austin? Some affectionately refer to him as Mrs. Foley's baby boy, but I wish Mrs. Foley had taught her son some manners. I wish someone had taught you all some manners because you're showing me the same disrespect. But I did listen to at least a little of what Mick Foley said, because Mick Foley is many things, he's scuzzy, he's out there, he's a borderline lunatic, but on his best day, Mick Foley is a very eloquent speaker, and he said some things to me that hit home. And I thought this past week about my stance of not facing John Cena at Hell in a Cell. I've thought about my legacy and not stepping foot inside Hell in a Cell. So that's why I've come out here to announce to all of you that on October 28th, CM Punk vs. John Cena, Hell in a Cell, is still not going to happen."

Heyman: "Ladies and gentlemen, the WWE Champion, the Best in the World, CM Punk and I would like to move on to another relevant piece of business. (Footage airs of AJ slapping Heyman last week) Now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you've all noticed the same thing that the Best in the World and I noticed, AJ never said no. However, what AJ did do is violate an edict from the board of directors of the WWE. Now, I'm not one to quote scripture, but I do have here a memo from the WWE Board of Directors, and I'm quoting verbatim here: General Manager AJ Lee's actions are sometimes juvenile, and she is never to hit a Superstar, manager, or anyone else, ever again. What that means, ladies and gentlemen, is that the WWE Champion and I concur with others of the opinion that AJ Lee must be removed as General Manager effective immediately. Now, I know why you're booing. That leaves a huge power void. Who would come in and replace AJ as General Manager? And the answer is, me. The one with all the experience as a General Manager. The one who has negotiated contracts--"

"EXCUSE ME!" Vickie is out. "If anyone has been the victim of the General Manager, it's me and Dolph Ziggler. Dolph almost had his Money in the Bank contract taken from him, and I still don't have range of motion in my neck after AJ attacked me. (footage airs)"

Heyman: "Excuse me, but when did this become about you? This is about the best in the world--"

Vickie: "Excuse me! But may I remind you that I am THE Vickie Guerrero, and my client is the future WWE Champion, Dolph Ziggler."

Heyman: "Well, when the future catches up to the here and now, which is the WWE Champion CM Punk, let me know and until then, please, follow my lead, next time you have a grievance with AJ, file a formal grievance like Punk and I have."

Dolph: "Hold on, hold on. I think we can all at least agree that this is all AJ's fault. She's the cause of all the drama around here. What if you two teamed up? Could you imagine co-GMs of Monday Night Raw: Vickie Guerrero and Paul Heyman!"

Out comes the current, only GM of Raw, AJ Lee. "Now I'm sure you will all be very happy to know that the WWE Board of Directors have placed me on probation. And yes, I know I'm not supposed to hit another person, but I thought they'd make an exception for a slimy, creepy, shady, greasy excuse for a man like you, but they didn't. And so now I've been appointed an executive coach to help me in my development as General Manager of Raw."

Daniel Bryan's music hits, and Bryan is out, yelling at the fans. "Stop it! I just came out here to apologize! I just came out here to apologize because it is obvious that AJ's mental issues have been compounded by the fact that I dumped her after Wrestlemania. And really, I can't blame you. I mean, look at me. I am one hell of a catch. I am handsome! I am a former world champion! I have a great beard. And now, I'm the tag team champions. I'm the tag team champions!"

Kane objects to this, and makes his presence known with a burst of flame and his emergence. "Everyone here has forgotten to name a very important fact about AJ Lee: She is a phenominal kisser. Now, everything else that Daniel Bryan said was true, with the exception of one thing: I am the tag team champions!"

Bryan and Kane get in a shouting match, as do Punk and Ziggler, almost for the sake of matching.

AJ: "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! This is my show. And probation or not, I am still the General Manager of Raw, and what I say goes. And what I say is the WWE Champion CM Punk and the Money in the Bank winner Dolph Ziggler will face the WWE Tag Team Champions, Team Hell No."

AJ leaves the ring as all four men hold up their respective accomplisments and shout at each other.

Match One: WWE Tag Team Championship Tournament: Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio vs. Primo and Epico

Cara and Epico begin, trade rollups for one, Sin Cara with a spinning elbow for one, trading shots, Primo in, punch, punch in the corner, Cara with kicks, Primo with a punch, whip, Cara with a hurricanrana, kick, arm drag, Rey in, hurricanrana, Epico in, misses a splash, Rey tosses Sin Cara into Epico, both men feint a suicide dive, the Primetime Players make their entrance and sit down on chairs at the entrance ramp, commercial.

Back in Mysterio tags in Sin Cara, who starts off by kicking Epico, dropkick, springboard snapmare, Epico with a clothesline, elbow in midair for two, Primo in, kick to the gut, punches, kick to the head, knee to the head, more knees to the head, powerbomb reversed into a rollup for two, Epico in, Sin Cara with punches, tilt-a-whirl DDT, double tag, Rey with a hurricanrana, kick to the face, trip, kick to the head for two, top rope seated senton, tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT, cover for two as Epico breaks up the tag, Sin Cara takes him out with a clothesline, Primo tries to toss him out of the ring, Sin Cara kicks him in the head into the ropes, does the same to Epico, double 619, both men climb the same turnbuckle, Sin Cara with a crossbody to Epico, Rey with a splash to Primo for three.

Winners: Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio

Match Two: Brodus Clay vs. US Champion Antonio Cesaro (non-title)

Lockup, Cesaro with a punch in the corner, Clay throws Cesaro to the corner, punches, suplex, elbow drop, Cesaro drops Clay's throat across the top rope, charges, Clay with a headbutt, T-Bone suplex blocked with elbows, Clay throws Cesaro to the corner, Cesaro rebounds with a springboard uppercut, hits the Neutralizer for a shockingly quick, clean three count.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro

Backstage, AJ approaches Kaitlyn, introducing her "executive coach", who is just a generic balding dude in a suit. AJ tells Kaitlyn that she has a match scheduled for next week, before offering an apology to Kaitlyn for their fallout earlier in the year. At the end, she bursts out laughing and comments that she's not really sorry.

Match Three: Zack Ryder vs. IC Champion The Miz (non-title)

Lockup, Miz twists the arm, side headlock, Ryder whips out, Miz with a shoulder tackle, Ryder with a flap jack, dropkick, Miz with a knee to the head, stomps, running boot to the face for two, elbow to the neck, knee to the back, chinlock, Ryder punches his way out, Miz with a knee, whip, Ryder with a facebuster, Miz charges, Ryder with a knee, missile dropkick, forearm, Broski Boot for two, RoughRyder reversed into a powerbomb into the corner, Skull-Crushing Finale for three.

Winner: The Miz

Booker T comes out at this point to introduce the World Heavyweight Championship debate.

Booker: "First, I want to thank both of you for joining for this debate. It's traditional to start with an opening statement. The WWE Universe has been sending in their touts and tweets, but we'll start with Big Show's opening statement."

Show: "First of all, Booker, I'd like to thank you for this opportunity. Actually, no thank you. There's no point in having a debate. At Hell in a Cell, I'm going to walk in, knock him out, pin him, if he tries to hit me with that little Brogue Kick that I doubt he can even get his foot up that high, I'm going to rip his leg off. Next question."

Booker: "Sheamus, your turn."

Sheamus: "Well, uh, for those who don't know me, my name is Sheamus and I'm the world Heavyweight Champion. And Booker, I'd like to thank you for holding this debate right here in lovely Oklahoma City. I'd also like to ask my opponent not to rip my leg off, because I'm going to need it to kick his teeth in."

Booker: "Alright, first question from @Tom_Roscoe: What do you both find the most challenging aspect of your opponent?"

Sheamus: "My entire life, I've been a fighter. And I've never backed down from a fight, so what I'm looking forward to most is the fight. And I've never faced a bigger, stronger opponent, so sure, he's got bad BO and his breath smells from time to time, but I'm worried that this match will last more than 45 seconds."

Show: "You trying to make a quick jab about 45 seconds? What do you mean BO? I'm a very hygienic giant, I smell fantastic! See, that's the problem, you're a comedian. You're not taking this debate seriously or me seriously. I will take this title from you, so stop being a funny guy."

Booker: "Next question, from @SeanOZone: Who has the more dangerous move? The Brogue Kick of the WMD?"

Show: "If we just look at the facts, Booker, obviously, my WMD has knocked out more WWE Superstars, won more titles. Ask John Cena, hell, ask Randy Orton which move is more devastating. WMD hands-down, and plus, you can't even get your chubby foot up that high."

Sheamus: "You left one superstar off that list, and his name is Daniel Bryan. Not only did you not knock Daniel Bryan out, he beat you in 45 seconds and also walked away with the World Heavyweight Championship."

Show: "Now you know there were extenuating circumstances. Booker, he can't keep taking jabs like that!" Show knocks over the podium.

Sheamus: "Now you're wrecking the place."

Show: "Now what?"

Booker: "This is a debate. Now let me get to my last question."

Show: "Do I get a new podium? I leaned on my podium. I'm slightly overweight, and this is what happened to my podium. See, this is the problem: This is not serious."

Sheamus: "I'll be honest. We need to get serious. We need to see a Tout. I promised my cousin, Rey Mysterio O'Sullivan, that I'd show his Tout, so let's see it."

Someone who's obviously Sheamus in a Rey Mysterio mask appears on screen and asks Show how it feels to know he'll get his head kicked off. Arriba.

Booker: "Now Sheamus, this is a serious debate."

Sheamus: "I promise, I'm being serious, I promised--"

Show: "This is not funny! You need to straighten up because my patience only goes so far. You got anything serious to say?"

Sheamus: "Actually, I want to ask you how it feels to know that you lost to Daniel Bryan in 45 seconds and then he lost to me at Wrestlemania in 18 seconds. You keep talking about how you're going to knock me out, but I want to know: How does it feel?"

Show responds by taking his jacket off. Sheamus removes his t-shirt and both men stare each other down before Show leaves.

Match Four: Tensai vs. Ryback

Lockup, Ryback with a side headlock, Tensai with a shoulder tackle, Ryback up instantly, trading punches, Tensai goes for a whip, reversed, Ryback goes for a punch, Ryback blocks, scoopslam, belly to belly blocked with a fist, Ryback with a lariat, Shellshocked blocked, Ryback tries it again, blocked again, Ryback with a clothesline for three.

Winner: Ryback

Dear fuck, he finally starts to get over into the main event level and just when he has to prove himself, he fucks up the finish. Dammit. I can only hope that was Tensai's fault.

Backstage, the Rhodes Scholars are discussing their disgust at the debate and Sheamus' conduct and dress during it.

Match Five: Divas champion Eve vs. Beth Phoenix (non-title)

Eve offers a handshake, Beth takes it and parlays it into a throwdown, punches, throws Eve to the corner, kicks, Beth charges, Eve dodges, Beth hits the floor, Eve with punches, tosses Beth into the apron, throwdown on the floor, throw into the apron, climbs back in the ring, Beth breaks the count, inverse atomic drop, clothesline for two, elbow to the side of the face, Eve gets some space, boot to the gut, neckbreaker for three.

Winner: Eve

Eve makes a fairly quick exit with her title.

AJ continues making the rounds with her new coach. She introduces him to Wade Barrett, who berates her for not booking him and then goes on to dress her down for being mentally unstable and letting personal relationships get in the way of her job. AJ then accuses her personal coach of being intimidated.

Match Six: Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Slater is joined by McIntyre and Mahal. Both men take turns blocking each other's shoulder blocks, Slater with a clothesline, stomp, punch for one, chinlock, Santino arm drags out, Slater with a dropkick for two, slap to the back, choke in the ropes, body slam, goes up top, leaps, Santino gets a boot up, Slater charges, Santino dodges, punches, hip toss, saluting running headbutt, Santino calls for the Cobra, connects, Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre interfere and beat down Santino.

Winner by DQ: Santino Marella

All three men stomp the hell out of Santino, tossing the Cobra across the ring before McIntyre hits the Futureshock. Slater grabs a mic: "Listen up! We've got something you all need to hear!"

McIntyre: "Believe me, I am still the chosen one!"

Mahal: "I am the maha raja!"

Slater: "And I'm the one-man band, baby!"

All three men celebrate in the ring to the puzzlement of the commentators.

Match Seven: World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow (non-title)

Lockup, Sheamus presses Sandow to the ropes, break, lockup, Sheamus presses Sandow to the corner, reversed, Sandow dodges the fist, twists the arm, stomp, break, Sandow with a punch, side headlock, snapmare, maintains the hold, Sheamus whips out, shoulder tackle, knee to the gut, clothesline, Sandow dodges, leaves the ring, commercial.

Back on, Sheamus goes for a clothesline, Sandow bails, heads into the crowd, Rhodes goes to club Sheamus, Sheamus catches him, Sandow with a clothesline from behind, throws Sheamus back into the ring, knees, chinlock/armbar combo, Sheamus punches his way out, Sandow with a knee lift, clothesline for two, shoulder blocks in the corner, snapmare, elbows, chinlock, Sheamus punches his way out, Sandow with a punch, knees to the gut, Russian Leg Sweep, rolls through, elbow drop, choke in the ropes, Sandow with punches on the apron, running elbow, cover for two, chinlock, Sheamus punches his way out, whip, Sandow with a punch, drop toehold into the ropes, hip check for two, triangle choke, Sheamus rolls his way out and starts punching away, Sandow creates some distance, charges, Sheamus with a boot, goes up top, Sandow with a punch, Sheamus tumbles to the ground, selling the move like death in the process, Sandow with punches, trading punches, Sandow with a knee for two, chinlock, hooks the arm, Sheamus punches his way out, charges, Sandow presses Sheamus to the floor, tosses Sheamus back in the ring for a one-count, then another one-count, Sandow with elbows to the back, chinlock, Sheamus back suplexes his way out, clothesline, then another, shoulder tackle in the corner, knee lift, rolling fireman's carry drop, Sandow bails to the apron, drops Sheamus' throat across the top rope, back in, Sheamus with a body slam, reversed, Sandow with punches, neckbreaker for two, stomp in the corner, foot choke, charges, Sheamus gets a boot up, heads up top, shoulder block for two, White Noise blocked, Brogue Kick dodged, Sandow holds on to the ring apron as Sheamus tries to pull him back in the ring, settles for chopping him in the ropes instead, both men to the floor, Sheamus throws Sandow back into the ring, Rhodes charges, Sheamus throws him into the announce table, into the ring, Brogue Kicks both men at once and pins Sandow for his first pinfall loss.

Winner: Sheamus

That was easily the sleeper match of the night. Sandow is officially in the upper eschelon of great things going on in professional wrestling right now.

Michael Cole heads into the ring to introduce JR Appreciation Night. JR then makes his entrance, which is odd because he's been sitting at the commentary booth the entire night.

Cole: "Well first off, JR, congratulations on JR appreciation night. I mean, it's got to be fabulous for you to be back in your hometown, back at the commentary table for your own night. How does this feel?"

"Well, Michael, I--"

CM Punk cuts off the festivities by making his presence known. "Cole, you don't need this any more. In fact, you can get out of my ring and go take a seat down there where you belong. Oh, come on, Oklahoma City, where's your spirit? Tell me how you really feel! Oh, don't give me shoes to fill, you think I'm a bad guy? We're here for JR Appreciation Night! Shout his name out loudly, let me hear you, JR! JR! JR! Here's a fact, JR: You are the best announcer we have here and I respect and appreciate the hell out of you. These people are here to shower you with respect. But you people don't know a thing about respect. I am the best in the world, and I deserve respect, but you people come out here and twist and turn things I say, when it's you who turned your backs on me. Let me be a shining example of how to treat someone I respect. JR, I respect you, that's why you're going to help me teach these people about respect. And you're going to do this by telling everyone that I'm the best in the world."

"Punk, I'm glad you didn't come out here to embarrass me. Because, quite frankly, just being honest, man to man here, you've done a hell of a job making a jackass and embarrassing yourself these past couple weeks on television."

"I really wish I could say that I'm not totally disappointed in you right now, but I can't say that right now. When I come out here and say what I did when everyone else out here treats you like crap and tell you that we have something in common, that we're the best, and you treat me like all of these people? Well, let's just say for a second that I did come out here to embarrass you, because that's the situation we're in right now. I hope you understand the severity of the situation, the gravity of the situation that you're in right now. What happens if I treat you with the same disrespect you treated me with? What if I treated you the same way I treated Mick Foley last night (sic)? Oh, I know, Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Call his name as loud as you want, he can't hear you. No one can hear you, not him, not your friend Jerry Lawler. 3:16 used to mean that your buddy Steven got his hands on you, whipped your ass, but now it's the climate we live in. It's the number of days I have held the WWE Championship. 316 and counting now belongs to me, just like you, body and soul, belong to me. When did you become a tough guy, huh? With your John Wayne hat and your fake Stone Cold goatee. You're your best friend right now, only you can help you. Tell them, right now that I'm the best in the world. You can use your condescending drawl, you can say it however you want, but you are going to say it! Say it, Jim, say it!"

"I'm not going to say it. You talk about being the best in the world, you want to be the best in the world? Well, let me tell you, I have had the pleasure of sitting here and seeing some of the best in the world. I've called Wrestlemania events with the likes of Shawn Michaels and Bret Hard, HHH and the Undertaker, and you want to talk about Stone Cold? He and all of those other men never asked to be called the best in the world, and if they had, I would've given it to them because they all earned it. So the bottom line, as Stone Cold would say, the final word on where things stand between you and me, and I'm just being dead honest with you, you wanna be called the best in the world? Then what I suggest you do is you accept John Cena's challenge, you meet him at Hell in a Cell, and you kick his ass. And if you do, I will be the first man to tell you that you are the best in the world. But until then, you and I got nothing to talk about."

Punk hands his microphone to Paul Heyman, removes his hoodie and takes JR's hat, before stomping on it in the middle of the ring.

Punk: "I don't run away from fights. I've beaten John Cena over again. The Oklahoma City Thunder couldn't get it done in the NBA Finals, and they don't get another chance, not next Tuesday, not ever. They get in the back of the line and they work their way back up like everybody else. Now what we have here is a squared circle. Inside this squared circle, men fight! Men don't run, and I don't either. I've never run from anything in my life, but you know who does, if they're smart? You. Because you've just put yourself in the ring with the most dangerous man in the WWE, and if you don't put your hands up to defend yourself, I will hurt you and I will make sure you never commentate ever again, so think real long and think real hard. You get your hands up and you fight me, or you leave."

JR starts to walk away before Punk grabs him. "Jim, where do you think you're going? Oh, you think I'm going to allow you to just go back there and do your job? You think I'm going to allow you to spew your disrespectful rhetoric? No, when the WWE Champion asks you to leave the ring, you say yes sir, which way would you like me to go, sir? You don't get to do what you love any longer. No more commentary for you for the rest of the night. You leave up that way and you do it with your eyes down. I want to see you take that walk of shame. You want to turn your back on me like everyone else, go ahead. But you'll do it my way. You're not a hall of famer, you're a joke! You left because I told you to! Remember that I did this to you, that the best in the world did this to you!"

Ryback makes his way out and leads JR back into the ring before staring Punk down. The fans erupt in a massive "Feed me more" chant as Ryback seethes. Punk slowly and deliberately leaves the ring. On the ramp, he hoists his WWE Championship high and screams, "Best in the world!"

Match Eight: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Alberto Del Rio instructs Ricardo Rodriguez to join the commentary booth, which Rodriguez then asks the commentators' permission to do. I'm starting to think they're hinting at a face turn for Ricardo here.

Del Rio with a kick to the head, both men leapfrog each other, Kofi with a leaping elbow, cactus clothesline, springboard crossbody, commercial.

Back on, Del Rio has Kofi in an abdominal stretch. Kingston elbows and then arm drags his way out before hitting a clothesline, dropkick, leaping clothesline, boom drop, sets up for Trouble in Paradise, Del Rio dodges, Kofi with a swinging kick to the face, springboard clothesline dodged, Del Rio with stomps in the corner, cross arm breaker for the tapout.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Backstage, AJ's executive coach is instructing her on how to put her personal issues to rest and put on the best show possible. AJ then suggests he should referee the main event before calling his presence worthless and telling him to get out of the arena.

Main Event: WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No vs. Dolph Ziggler and WWE Champion CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler (non-title)

Before the match begins, AJ announces herself the guest referee. Kane and Ziggler start off. Lockup, Ziggler with a side headlock, Kane whips his way out and hits a shoulder tackle, throws Ziggler to the corner, punch, then another, another, body slam, elbow drop for a one-count, Bryan calls for a tag, Kane denies him, Ziggler with a shot, whip, Zig Zag reversed into a clothesline, cactus clothesline, Kane goes to follow him, Bryan tags himself in, commercial.

Back on the air, Ziggler has Kane in a backpack sleeper, Kane throws Ziggler into the corner to escape, Ziggler with a dropkick for a one-count, shoves Kane, taunts Bryan, walks into a fist from Kane, Kane with more punches, Bryan in, dropkick for two, punch, snapmare, Kane in, Kane with a running dropkick for two, face wash on the middle rope, Ziggler with a punch, leaping DDT, Punk in, Punk with a high knee, another high knee, bulldog reversed into a side slam for two, Kane goes up top, clothesline, calls for a chokeslam, Bryan tags himself in, goes up top, leaps into a dropkick by CM Punk, stomps, AJ forces a break, Punk whips Bryan to the corner, Bryan floats over, off the ropes, seated clothesline, kicks, Punk blocks one of them, shoves Bryan directly into Ziggler, who he punches, Punk with a kick to the head for two, Ziggler in, kick, dropkick, Bryan falls out of the ring, Ziggler throws him into the barricade, Kane heads to the area, Ziggler throws Bryan into the barricade again, rolls him back into the ring, cover for two, chinlock, Bryan reverses into a jawbreaker, Punk in, clothesline, heads up top, Bryan crotches him, heads up top, superplex, No Lock, Heyman pushes the bottom rope closer to Punk's foot, allowingPunk to make it to the ropes, AJ responds by ejecting Heyman from ringside, Vickie Guerrero protests, gets the same treatment. Ziggler follows Vickie, denying Punk the opportunity for a tag. Bryan with a running dropkick, Kane in, chokeslam for three.

Winners: Team Hell No

Kane and Bryan resume bickering immediately after the bell as Raw goes off the air.