AngryMarks.com :: Pro Wrestling & Mixed Martial Arts News, Podcasts and Entertainment

Date: 10/22	8:00 PM
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Tonight's Raw in the final Raw before what is set to be an epic Hell in a Cell PPV. CM Punk's epic championship reign goes up against Ryback's epic rise to the top of the WWE, and something has to give inside the cell. Meanwhile, the finals of the tag team tournament are scheduled to take place, but with stories swirling around that Rey Mysterio is still sick, nothing is certain. Sheamus and Big Show also continue their quests to kick each other's asses, as do Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton.

And contrary to the summary I just wrote, Raw opens with Rey Mysterio hitting the ring.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs. Team Rhodes Scholars

Cody and Sin Cara start off, lock up, Cody with a punch in the corner, countered with kicks, whip, reversed, Sin Cara misses a springboard elbow, hits a hurricanrana, Rey in, double team wheelbarrow bulldog, punch, whip, reversed, Rey with a kick to the face, Rhodes with a punch, Sandow in, clothesline, whip to the corner, back suplex blocked, rear waistlock, Rey to the ropes, hurricanrana into 619 position, Cody pulls Sandow out of harm's way, Sin Cara with a suicide dive to both men, Rey joins in with a senton to the floor, brings Sandow back into the ring, tags in Sin Cara, holds Sandow in reverse rope assist DDT position, Sin Cara with a splash, punches, whip, reversed, Sin Cara misses a top rope crossbody, Sandow covers for two, Cody in, punch, delayed exploder suplex for one, throws Sin Cara to the corner, Sandow in, kick and punches in the corner, shoulder tackle, stomp, Cody in, stomp, stomp to the gut, Sandow in, headbutt to the lower back, suplex, knee drop, bows to the crowd, throws Sin Cara to the RS corner, Cody in, stomps a mudhole in the corner, stomp to the back as Sin Cara tries to escape to his corner, Cody with a headbutt, Sin Cara with a headbutt to the gut, enziguri, commercial.

Back on the air, Cody has Sin Cara in a headlock, Sin Cara escapes, Cody with a body slam, rolling senton, Sandow in, clothesline, elbow drop for two, Rey breaks up the count, Cody in, Sandow with stomps, Cody sets Sin Cara up in the corner, Sin Cara punches his way out, hits a Tornado DDT, Rey in, seated senton, punch for Sandow, punches for Cody, hurricanrana, trips Rhodes in the corner, split-legged moonsault for two (haven't seen that one in a while), dropkick to the ass to set him up in 619 position, Sandow in, gets the same treatment, 619 to both men, drop of the dime to Cody, Sandow breaks up the count by crawling in between the referee's hand and the mat (haven't seen that one, ever. Brilliant), Sin Cara and Sandow brawl their way out of the ring, Cody with CrossRhodes for three.

Winners and NEW #1 Contenders: Rhodes Scholars

Kane and Daniel Bryan come on the Titantron and tell Rhodes Scholars that they won't walk out with the titles before Kane sets off his pyro in the ring.

Match Two: IC Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Michael McGillicutty (non-title)

McGillicutty with punches in the corner, suplex for two, Kofi with chops, McGillicutty with a hip attack, trading punches, McGillicutty with chops in the corner, backbreaker for two, chinlock, Kofi punches his way out, McGillicutty with punches, then more punches in the corner, charges, misses, Kofi with Trouble in Paradise for three.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

They then cut to a replay of the contract signing that ended Raw last week, before going to commercial.

John Cena then hits the ring and grabs a mic. "Wow, what a night! Superbowl champions in the house, and then right next door, the home of the next Wrestlemania! But on top of that, this Sunday the WWE proudly presents Hell in a Cell! This Sunday is not just a normal pay per view, because this Sunday, the WWE Universe will finally find out that CM Punk... the WWE Universe will find out what a few people in this crowd already know, that CM Punk is a man who tells the truth. CM Punk has been WWE Champion for 337 days, but the most truthful thing he ever said was just before he won the WWE Championship. CM Punk was a visionary, and his vision was change. And this Sunday at Hell in a Cell, after 337 days, we see change! Change is six-foot-three. Change is 291 pounds. And when change steps into this ring, all he can hear over and over again is "Feed Me More"! Ryback is not an individual who will come out here and talk about a brass ring, or complain about a political conspiracy, he is certainly not a man who will come out here and promise a revolutionary Monday Night Raw and ice cream bars to boot. Ryback stands for one thing, and that is destruction. And this Sunday, the face of the WWE will change!"

CM Punk hits the entrance ramp at this point, mic in hand. "Let me start off by saying I'm not surprised that you would come out here and say something nice about the Giants. That's so you, trying to endear yourself to the fans. I suppose I'm supposed to come out here and tell you all the truth, that the Giants suck, but I'm not going to. I'm actually a huge Giants fan, they're just the Giants from San Francisco. You want to talk about bringing change? That's laughable, pal. I've been WWE Champion for 337 days, and counting. Which means you haven't been champion for a lot longer than that. That, ladies and gentlemen, is change you can count on. I've done everything I've promised I would do, and then some. I'm the best in the world. Not you, not the Giants, not Ryback. So you can come out here and speak for Ryback all you want. You can promise he'll hurt me, you can promise all kinds of bodily harm, you can promise destruction and change. And that's fine. But you know that when CM Punk makes a promise, I keep it, and I promise that I will walk out of Hell in a Cell still the WWE Champion. I like you new role here, though, as Ryback's new cheerleader. But it tells me that you've finally realized something that I've known all along, and that is that you cannot beat me."

"I wanted to come out here and let the WWE Universe know how excited I am for this Sunday's pay per view. Allow me to talk about myself for a second. It's not that I can't beat you, it's that I wasn't allowed to beat you. Some news for me, yours truly is now officially medically cleared. You've got a pay per view title match scheduled, I'm not going to mess with that, but I would like to mess your face up here tonight."

"Yeah, you and how many of the giants?"

"No, you keep your title for this Sunday against Ryback, you're gonna need it. You come down here and I'll give you a pre-ass whipping before the real ass whipping."

Punk takes off his hoodie and starts to head toward the ring. He climbs the ropes as Paul Heyman starts to go into cardiac arrest, before Punk reconsiders and walks off. Damn, if that's true about Cena just being medically cleared, that means they changed their plans for the HIAC main event for nothing. Shit.

In other news, apparently AJ was just at an emergency Board of Directors meeting and is scheduled to arrive within the hour.

Match Three: US Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel (non-title)

Before the match can actually begin, Cesaro cuts a promo in one of the five languages he speaks. All I can say for certain is that it's neither English nor French.

Gabriel with a suicide dive, Cesaro regains control, snapmare, headlock, Gabriel elbows out, Cesaro with a body slam dropping Gabriel in the corner, kick to the gut, throws Gabriel to the floor rather formlessly, cover for two, chinlock, headbutt, Gabriel elbows his way out, Cesaro with a whip, charge, Gabriel gets a boot up, Cesaro with what I can best describe as a rear waistlock throw to the corner, Gabriel dodges a charge and hits a neckbreaker, heads up top, Cesaro crotches him, goes up for a superplex, both men trade forearm shots, Cesaro falls, rebounds and hits more forearms, Gabriel to the mat, rebounds with a kick to the head, connects with the 450 for a completely clean win.

Winner: Justin Gabriel

A beautiful, rare televised win for Gabriel. Think about this: If Gabriel actually does manage a US Title win out of this, that would mark the first time in WWE history that the US Championship has tranferred from non-American to non-American, and then again from non-American to non-American. Possibly the first time in the history of the championship altogether. Bonus points: All three men are from different continents, or at least in real life.

Vince McMahon then steps out of a limo with a concerned looking AJ, and after a commercial, both of them are in the ring.

McMahon: "Earlier today, AJ Lee met with the board of directors for several hours, and the subject of that meeting was AJ's tenure as General Manager. So here to tell you the results of that meeting in her own words, AJ."

AJ: "Because of allegations of my fraternizing with a Superstar in the locker room, I am hereby resigning as General Manager of Monday Night Raw. And I just want to say that these allegations are completely false, but I understand that I could've been fired a long time ago. I could've been fired when I attacked Vickie, or Paul Heyman, or for any of the decisions I've made that have been deemed unfair, and so that's why when I was asked to resign I agreed. I know that some of the decisions I've made have been unorthodox and some people consider me unstable, but I guess some people just like a crazy chick. And I know that this is coming to an end a little sooner than I wanted it to, but I've come so far from where I started. I grew up 15 minutes from here, and I don't know if you guys know my story, but I grew up with nothing. I've lived in cars and lived in motels, and I've gone from being homeless to being the boss. And I thought I was always just going to be a little poor girl who never made anything of her life, and you guys accepted me. So I just wanted to thank you guys for every second, because I've loved every second of this job, and I wanted to thank you, Vince, for giving me an opportunity that no one else would've ever given me. Thank you."

Paul Heyman interrupts. "I'm sure that I speak for everyone here this evening when I tell you that I was unaware of AJ's touching life story. Think about the one in a billion chance of a homeless girl rising up to become the GM of the longest running weekly episodic television show in history. AJ rose above her lack of intelligence, her lack of education, her lack of class, the fact that she was born and bred a Jersey Girl. No offense. But business is business, and this show now needs a new General Manager. And you should sign off on this decision. You need someone with intelligence, class, dignity and when the time comes, ruthless aggression. I know we've butted heads and how wrong I've been in the past and even recently, but I wanted to let you know, sir, that I humbly suggest to you and the board of directors that if you need me to step in, the next General Manager of Monday Night Raw should be Paul Heyman."

Vince: "No. But allow me to introduce you to this person who is not the General Manager, not the interim General Manager, this person is the managing supervisor of Monday Night Raw: Vickie Guerrero."

Vickie Guerrero heads to the ring and takes a mic. "First of all, I just want to thank the WWE Board of Directors for giving me this opportunity. Excuse me! I am so touched that the board values my expertise--"

Heyman: "Excuse me. Ms Guerrero, now that you are in a position of power, it is time for you to make your first decision and that should be a momentous decision. Had I known you were in the running, I never would have offered my own name because I would have given you my vote of confidence, but I suggest you make your first decision to undo the damage Vince McMahon did when he made your reigning WWE Champion the best in the world, the option to make a decision for Hell in a Cell and then stripped him of the decision and put him into the cell with Ryback. Ryback is not a challenger, Ryback is a Punk-eating carnivore--"

Vickie: "Excuse me, Mr. Heyman, but your client will face Ryback at Hell in a Cell."

Heyman: "That's a horrible decision!"

Vickie: "Oh, and I have some more news for you! I'm going to show you and all of these people that I can run things better than Booker T and make tonight's main event Champion vs. Champion: CM Punk vs. Sheamus."

Heyman: "You can't do that!"

Vickie: "Watch me. And you're not going to like what I do next, because I'm making this match the largest Lumberjack match in WWE History."

Heyman leaves the ring in a fury before Vickie turns to AJ. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, AJ. I knew this all along that you were not right for this job. Your immaturity and little girl dress clothes are not for a role of authority. I am a woman who is mature, wise and fit to the the GM of Raw. And that's why the Board of Directors picked me to the the managing-- soon to be General Manager of Monday Night Raw! Those allegations are not just of fraternizing with the talent, you had an affair. And you disgust me. So I need you to go backstage and pack up all your Barbies and little dolls and you need to get out, because since this is my ring now, you need to leave."

AJ reluctantly starts to leave before getting an evil grin on her face and hitting a Thesz Press before pummelling the shit out of Vickie Guerrero. The two brawl back and forth before Vickie manages to escape and AJ laughs as her music hits and she leaves the ring.

Match Four: Ryback vs. The Miz

Ryback opens with a clothesline, both men jockey around each other, Ryback throws Miz out of the ring, follows, both men back in the ring, Miz goes for a boot, gets caught, Miz with more punches, Ryback goes for a body slam, blocked, Ryback hits a boot, slams Miz's head into the mat, misses a clothesline, then hits another clothesline, Miz drops Ryback's throat across the top rope, goes up top, Ryback catches Miz and hits a spinebuster, then the clothesline he missed a few minutes ago, Shellshocked for three.

Winner: Ryback

Backstage, Eve is gossipping on the phone with someone, alleging that AJ was sleeping her way all over the WWE. Kaitlyn sneaks up behind her and accuses her of setting up someone to attack her. She then confronts her with a photo of an email confirming this and tells Eve to drop the nice girl act. The end result of this is both women brawling across the backstage area before Layla swoops in to break it up, prompting Eve to attack her and walk straight into a two-on-one brawl.

Backstage, Josh Matthews asks Sheamus if he's nervous about the Lumberjack match. Sheamus says he welcomes the chaos. Big Show then walks in and re-asserts the need for Sheamus to get serious if he doesn't want his ass kicked.

Match Five: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lockup, Bryan twists the arm, Ziggler reverses, Bryan rolls out, arm drag, rear waistlock, counters with a chinlock, Bryan escapes with a kick, Ziggler dodges and bails. Lockup, Ziggler with a kick to the gut, another kick, chop in the corner, trading punches, Ziggler with a whip, Bryan with a kick to the face, Ziggler goes for a German, Bryan heads to the ropes, Ziggler with a dropkick, neckbreaker, suplex blocked, Bryan goes for the No Lock, Ziggler off the ropes, Bryan grabs the leg, takedown, Bryan with a double leg lock STF, then stomps on Ziggler's legs, dragon screw, Figure Four blocked with a kick, Ziggler with a stomp in the corner, punches, whip, reversed into a rollup parlayed into a Figure Four, Ziggler makes it to the ropes, Bryan with stomps in the ropes, punch, shoulder tackles, Ziggler goes for a suplex, it turns into more of a throw as Bryan hits the floor. Kane hits the ringside area as Raw goes to commercial.

Back on, Ziggler has Bryan in a headlock, Bryan punches his way out, Ziggler with a whip, Bryan floats over, clothesline, running dropkick in the corner for two, roundhouse kicks to the chest, Ziggler ducks a kick, goes for a Zig Zag, blocked into a No Lock attempt, both men trade jackknife pins, Bryan with a spear, reversed into a DDT for two, Ziggler with a headbutt, punches in the corner, charges, Bryan dodges and Ziggler hits the ring post face-first for a bump that actually looked legitimately painful. Bryan with a suicide dive, tosses Ziggler back in the ring, heads up top, Ziggler springs up and hits a top-rope facebuster for two, kick, Bryan with a dropkick to the thigh, roundhouse kick to the face, Kane starts leading the crowd to rally behind Bryan, Bryan doesn't like it and argues from atop the turnbuckle, Ziggler hits a zig zag from the second rope for three.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Bryan and Kane argue and start to shove each other as Matt Striker comes out to make an announcement. He proclaims that Vickie Guerrero wanted him to tell them that tonight they will compete against each other in a Newlywed Game ripoff and Striker is being forced to play host. Their opponents are Team Rhodes Scholars.

Non-Wrestling Vaguely Competitive Whatever The Fuck It Is One: Newly-Tagged Game: Team Hell No vs. Rhodes Scholars

Team Rhodes Scholars openly refuse to participate before leaving.

Winners: All of Us

Daniel Bryan celebrates a forfeit win before Matt Striker bails from the ring to avoid an approaching Kane. On his way out of the arena, Striker quips that he hopes Team Hell No go down in flames before Big Show sneaks up from behind him and throws him across the entrance ramp.

Match Six: Big Show vs. Kane

After a commercial, the match is already in progress with Show punching Kane in the corner, Kane dodges a chop, punch, three clotheslines, goes off the ropes, Show hits a spear, chop to the head, chops to the arms, trading punches in the corner, Show hits a series of headbutts, both men trading punches, Show with a body slam, elbow drop, cover for two, punches in the corner, headbutt, drags Kane back into the middle of the ring, bear hug, Kane tries to punch his way out, no success, tries to reverse into a body slam, Show falls on Kane for two, choke in the ropes, Kane rebounds with punches, trading punches, Kane gets the best of it, Show with a whip, Kane hits a running DDT for two, goes up top, clothesline for two, Rhodes Scholars to the entrance ramp, Kane and Bryan take their eyes off the ball as Kane walks into a knockout punch for three.

Winner: Big Show

Rhodes Scholars double team Bryan and hit Crossrhodes in the ring.

Backstage, Santino Marella commends AJ for her performance as GM, before John Cena promises to have her back forever. AJ says that she's deserved to be fired several times, but this isn't one of them. Cena asks for the name of who the rumour is that she was involved with, promising to get to the bottom of everything. AJ stops him and says that it was him, after the two of them had a dinner together as friends to discuss business. Cena again vows to get to the bottom of how the allegations started.

After a commercial, Cena confronts Vince McMahon about the situation, McMahon responds that if it wasn't this it would've been something else and their decision was founded mostly on her history. McMahon then admits himself that he has no idea what Managing Supervisor means, that the decision was made by others and that it's likely going to be a temporary thing.

Match Seven: Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Del Rio with kicks, punches to the back, kicks and stomps in the corner, Ryder with a pair of punches, Del Rio with a boot to the gut, suplex for two, stomp, cover for one, chinlock, Ryder punches his way out, sunset flip for two, Del Rio with a kick to the head for two, armbar chinlock combo, transitions to a pure armbar, Ryder punches his way out, Del Rio with a headbutt, Ryder throws Del Rio to the corner, two clotheslines, whip, reversed, Ryder with knees to the face, Broski Boot, Del Rio dodges, sets up Ryder's arm in the middle rope, which he then kicks repeatedly, cross arm breaker for the tapout.

Winner: Zack Ryder

Del Rio grabs a mic and vows to do the same to Randy Orton before locking the arm breaker back on Ryder as Rodriguez yells in celebration.

Backstage, Vickie Guerrero is clearing out her office when John Cena confronts her. Vickie flat-out admits that she manipulated the facts to make it look like an affair was going on before asserting that it was Cena's fault for facetiously asking AJ out on a date before they went for a business dinner.

After a commercial, Dolph Ziggler parrots what Vickie just said in an interview, before a video package for Ryback airs. Punk and Heyman watch backstage and Punk maintains that he's not afraid, but he is a little bit pissed off about having to be in this match.

Main Event: WWE Champion CM Punk vs. World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus (non-title all around)

Lockup, Punk with a rear waistlock, Sheamus reverses, hits an amateur throw, Punk with a front facelock, Sheamus presses him to the corner, Punk throws Sheamus out of the ring, the lumberjacks abstain from hitting Sheamus, Punk goes for a kick, caught, Sheamus throws Punk out of the ring, the lumberjacks toss him back in, Sheamus with stomps, snapmare, side headlock, another snapmare, Punk presses Sheamus to the corner, shoulder tackles, headbutt to the gut, Sheamus with a whip, shoulder tackle, body slam, elbow drop for one, armbar, Punk elbows his way out, Sheamus clotheslines him out of the ring, lumberjacks throw Punk back in the ring, Sheamus with a backbreaker for two, chops in the ropes, Punk with an elbow, top rope clothesline for two, tosses Sheamus out of the ring, the heel lumberjacks start to stomp, toss Sheamus back in the ring, Punk covers for two, commercial.

Back on, Punk has Sheamus in a headlock, Sheamus presses Punk to the ropes, punches, Punk with a clothesline for two, armbar, Sheamus escapes, goes for White Noise, Punk rolls out and throws Sheamus to the floor, lumberjacks again start attacking until the face lumberjacks intervene, Punk hits a neckbreaker, goes up top, double axe handle, heads up top again, double axe handle again, goes up top a third time, this time Sheamus catches him with a clothesline, Sheamus with mixed strikes, Punk hits a knee lift, body slam, heads up top yet again, lazily jumps back down to the mat and hits a standing elbow drop, neckbreaker for two, chinlock, Sheamus punches his way out, clotheslines, fireman's carry rolling senton, chops in the ropes, suplex back into the ring for two, shoulder tackle in the corner, Punk with a heel kick, charges, Sheamus grabs him, Punk with a rollup for two, kick to the face, then another for two, Punk heads up top, Sheamus with punches, superplex for two, Irish Curse blocked with elbows, GTX blocked with elbows, Punk trips Sheamus into the corner, rollup for two, Punk with a clothesline for two, heads up top, misses an elbow drop, Sheamus with the Irish Curse for two, goes for the Cloverleaf, Punk escapes, pulls down the top rope as Sheamus hits it, Sheamus starts swinging at the heel lumberjacks, rolls back in the ring, hits White Noise, sets up a Brogue Kick, ends up hitting it on an interfering Antonio Cesaro, then one on Jinder Mahal, Punk ducks a kick, Big Show with a chokeslam for three.

Winner: CM Punk

Ryback hits the ring immediately, Punk tries to escape, lumberjacks throw him back into the ring, Ryback with a backbreaker, body slam, Punk tries to escape again, gets tossed in for a chokebomb, tries to escape again, gets tossed back in, Ryback with a Gorilla Press Slam out of the ring onto the heel lumberjacks as Raw goes off the air.