AngryMarks.com :: Pro Wrestling & Mixed Martial Arts News, Podcasts and Entertainment

Date: 12/17	6:45 PM
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Tonight is the 2012 Slammy awards. The year-end awards for Superstar of the Year, Match of the Year, Moment of the Year and many more will be decided. As well, we are only one day removed from last night's TLC PPV. Big Show still reigns, The Shield is in control and Dolph Ziggler is still Mr. Money in the Bank after AJ's surprising, some might even say completely random, betrayal of John Cena.

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Raw begins by introducing the Slammies, and then a brief recap of TLC.

Match One: Rey Mysterio vs. Damien Sandow

Lockup, Sandow presses Rey to the corner, kicks, Rey with a boot, off the ropes, Sandow with a knee, throws Rey to the outside, follows, throws Rey into the ring post, back in the ring, cover for one, Russian Leg Sweep, elbow drop for two, knee to the back, armbar with a head wrench, Rey punches his way out, Sandow with a punch to the back of the head, shoulder tackles, sets Rey up in the top rope, Rey punches Sandow back to the ground, seated senton, hurricanrana, Sandow with a shove, Rey with a dropkick for two, Sandow with a boot, running knee lift for two, powerslam reversed into a DDT, Rey with a dropkick to the ass, 619, drops the dime for three.

Winner: Rey Mysterio

At this point, Booker T comes out to present the first Slammy award, the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Award. The nominees are Brad Maddox screwing Ryback at HIAC, Sheamus beating Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds at Wrestlemania, Kofi Kingston recovering at the Royal Rumble by walking on his hands and CM Punk turning on The Rock. Before Booker T can present the award... The Boogeyman is here? Raw goes to commercial before the award is announced with Boogeyman playing to the crowd.

Raw comes back on the air with The Boogeyman gone as soon as he started. Brad Maddox then interrupts the drum roll and just stands there as Booker T announces:

Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment Of The Year: Kofi Kingston's Miracle Save

Kofi: "Wow. Hey man, I totally did not expect to win this award, but I guess the universe has spoken. It's always been my dream to win a Slammy award, and I want to thank you all for making that dream come true. Thank you all for everything, and I'm going to continue to do what I always do, and that's make you all say wow."

Match Two: Divas Champion Eve vs. Kaitlyn (non-title)

Kaitlyn with a shoulder tackle, mounted punches, Eve with mounted punches, Kaitlyn with mounted punches, Eve darts out of the ring, Kaitlyn throws her into the barricade, then smashes her head into it for a while, punch, throws Eve back in the ring, Eve with a clothesline, kick, mounted choke, whips Kaitlyn into the corner, foot choke, climbs the top rope, hangman's choke, breaks, locks it back in, Kaitlyn elbows her way out, gut buster for three.

Winner: Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn has really come a long way in-ring from the person who put on arguably the worst match in history with Maxine so long ago. Kaitlyn poses in Eve fashion before leaving.

Presenting the Comeback of the Year award are the New Age Outlaws! The nominees are Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, DX and Jerry Lawler.

Comeback of the Year: Jerry "The King" Lawler

Well who the fuck else did you think it was going to be?

Lawler: "Thank you so much. Thank you everyone who appreciated my comeback as much as I did. Thank you, thank God, and it's good to be back."

Match Three: IC Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Tensai (non-title)

Kofi with a dropkick, monkey flip blocked, Tensai drops three elbows for two, headbutt, headbutts in the corner, second-rope splash for two, misses an avalanche, Trouble in Paradise for three!

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Continued jobbification of Tensai aside, that match actually told a very interesting story for Tensai. It sets Tensai up as someone who could get it done if he didn't lose focus.

Wade Barrett pulls Kofi Kingston off the top rope to the floor, hits the Bullhammer in two parts, first ramming his head into toe ring post, then hitting the elbow.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to introduce the Kiss of the Year award. The soudtrack is Teagan and Sara. I approve. Nominees: AJ and Daniel Bryan, AJ and Kane, AJ and CM Punk and AJ and John Cena. I'm guessing they're trying to prompt AJ to come out and explain her turn last night. Which, by the way, was BULLSHIT! Way to finally create a character the audience became emotionally invested in, and then drop it out of nowhere. Vickie continues to trash AJ before announcing the winner.

Kiss of the Year: AJ and John Cena

Vickie: "Before I give you this award, I think you need to explain to all of us why you did what you did during last night's PPV."

AJ: "I don't owe anyone anything. See, I've been spending the past year caring a great deal what everyone thinks of me. Including you, and including all of them. But no more."

Vickie: "I was right about you. You're nothing but a two-bit piece of trash."

AJ and Vickie start to bicker before Dolph rushes out to break it up.

AJ: "You know what? That may have been kiss of the year, but it's nothing compared to this."

AJ leaps on Dolph's shoulders and immediately begins furiously making out with him. Vickie screams and leaves before AJ skips off and Dolph follows like a lovestruck puppy. Consider me intrigued. Both by where they're going with this and by what they're getting at by having AJ give the "I'm not going to care what people think" speech one week after AJ Styles gave the same speech. I feel like they're doing this on purpose, and I'm not sure what the punchline will be.

Match Four: Great Khali vs. David Otunga

Match begins already in progress, Khali with a chop, more chops all over the ring, misses a big boot, Otunga with stomps, twists the leg in the corner, punches, charges, Khali with an elbow, big boot, clothesline, chop to the head for three.

Winner: The Great Khali

RIC FLAIR IS BACK TO PRESENT SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR! RIC MOTHERFUCKING FLAIR IS BACK TO PRESENT SUPERSTAR OF THE HEAR! HOLY FUCKING SHITFUCK RIC MOTHERFUCKING FLAIR!

Nominees: Sheamus, John Cena, Big Show, CM Punk

But first, a speech by Ric Flair. "I wonder why I love Philadelphia. What a crowd. You guys are as live as ever, man! Monday Night Raw, and the Nature Boy is back in town. But I can't tell anybody where I'm going to be tonight, because I'll get in trouble. Maybe later on."

Superstar of the Year: John Cena

What? One man has been WWE Champion for literally the entire year and they went with the other guy?

Cena: "Thank you for all the noise. Superstar of the year embodies hustle, loyalty and respect. The person who finally holds it needs to work harder than anyone else, and I also want to respect the loyalty of the WWE Universe. That's why, out of respect, the Superstar of the Year should be the greatest Superstar of all time. The two-time Hall of Fame Ric Flair. This belongs to you."

As Cena walks off, CM Punk interrupts Flair as he's about to speak.

Punk: "This is completely ridiculous on so many, so many levels. So many things are running through my head right now. You haven't even be here this year, and the fact that anyone would vote for John Cena is astonishing. This has been the worst year of John Cena's career. He lost to a guy I'm going to decimate at the Royal Rumble, he lost to me several times, he lost last night and he became the only man to ever cash in Money in the Bank and lose. He's a loser, just like all of you. I used to watch Shawn Michaels backstage say that all he ever wanted was to grow up and be Ric Flair. I wanted to be me and I've done what. I was Superstar of the Year last year, that means I'm Superstar of the year this year. I've been WWE Champion for 393 days! I'm the man! Not John Cena, and not you! I'm the man! Woo!"

Flair: "Did you want to know what time it is? The diamonds on this rolex say it's 10:00. It's time for you to go. We're going to rock and roll all night and you can't even walk. Plus you've got all that baggage behind you, how's he getting around? I haven't been here but I've been watching."

"I may only have one leg but I'll still kick your ass! You want to talk about baggage?"

"You mean my two Hall of Fame rings or my four ex wives? You got that."

"Glad you said it before I did. But the point is that on one leg I could still beat you up just like I could anyone in Philly!"

"Should I handle this? Like Shawn Michaels always says, let's you and me."

Ric Flair heads to the ring, Punk starts to head to the ring as Heyman tries to talk him out of it.

Match Five: WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Ric Flair (non-title)

You know, I'd always hoped I'd write those words some day, but I didn't think it would be this gimmicky.

Punk clubs Flair with a crutch, then blasts him over the back with it. On one leg, he goes to hit him with the other crutch. Flair pokes him in the eye, then locks Paul Heyman in the Figure Four Leg Lock.

Match Never Started

Flair: "I just came to have a good time. And I wanted to say something I've wanted to say for a long time. Jerry Lawler, I love you man. They're never going to lose the two of us. I've told Vince McMahon I want to die right here. And if I can, I'd like to do it in Philadelphia. I've had more fun here than anyone should. And I've been paid to perform in the greatest sports city in the world."

The Shield cut Flair off and start making their way to the ring, Flair goading them the entire way. Raw goes to commercial before they hit the ring.

Team Hell No have hit the ring and started brawling with The Shield when Raw comes back. Dean Ambrose takes out Flair before aiding the other two and helping to turn the tide. I absolutely love the storytelling they're using in all of The Shield's matches and even-numbered brawls, how they're able to tell the story of the three of them being completely outgunned on paper but still managing to make it work through sheer strategy. The Shield begin prepping to triple-team powerbomb Flair through the announce table before Ryback makes his presence known and beats the holy hell out of all three members, throwing Seth Rollins through the announce table as Team Hell No rebound. All three men celebrate with Flair in the ring, and as Flair goes to leave, Ryback and Kane hoist him on their shoulders for one final cheer. If this turns into the new Four Horsemen there have been rumours of, consider me even more intrigued. Four horsemen of the apocalypse indeed.

After a commercial, Team Hell No and Flair engage in a three-way Yes, No, Woo-off, before Ron Simmons shows up and exclaims his own trademark single word, only once.

Match Five: Brodus Clay vs. JTG

I'm not going to count Punk vs. Flair as a match, because I'm pretty sure it was never intended to be anything of the sort.

Clay with punches, standing splash, JTG with stomps, top rope cutter for two, sleeper, Clay snapmares his way out, clotheslines, whip to the corner, avalanche, t-bone suplex, running headbutt, running splash for three.

Winner: Brodus Clay

Santino Marella and Tensai come out to present LOL Moment of the Year. Tensai has his head bandaged up and starts stumbling everywhere. Santino introduces the award while trying not to laugh. Tensai refuses to say anything, prompting Santino to call him "Albert", before joking that Tensai actually means "Fat Albert". He then claims that it's written on the teleprompter, at which point Tensai screams "There is no teleprompter!"

Nominees: The Rock trashes Cena merchandise, Team Hell No is born, Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio in a food fight, Vickie Guerrero vs. Brodus Clay in a dance-off.

LOL Moment Of The Year: The Rock

Santino informs the crowd that The Rock is not here (getting a huge boo), before Santino accepts it on his behalf. Team Hell No then come out as Daniel Bryan protests the loss and Kane carries him off.

Match Six: Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes

Rhodes with punches, whip, Sin Cara with a springboard elbow, springboard arm drag, Rhodes bails, Sin Cara with a suicide dive, kick, throws Rhodes back in the ring, Rhodes with stomps, kick, delayed exploder suplex for two, twists the arm, arm drag, armbar, adds a chinlock with his knee, leaping stomp, punch, stomp, stands on Sin Cara's head in the ropes, kick for two, punch, Sin Cara with punches, Rhodes with a kick, whip to the corner, stomp, sets Sin Cara up in the apron, Sin Cara with a swinging kick, springboard dropkick, punch, hurricanrana, wheelbarow bulldog reversed into Crossrhodes for three.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Layla and Zack Ryder then come out to present theTrending Now Hashtag of the Year. Nominees: #feedmemore, #peoplepower, #littlejimmy, #wwwyki

Hashtag of the Year: #feedmemore

Ryback doesn't come out to accept the award, so Ryder jsust leaves.

The Big Show then comes out with the giant chair from last night. "Why does that surprise me that I'm getting booed? You'd think I'd be upset that the WWE Universe let me down and didn't vote me for Superstar of the Year, but the WWE Universe lets me down every time I turn around. But I'm not upset, because this right here says that I am still the World Heavyweight Champion. I am the most dominant superstar in the WWE. Don't believe me? Ask Sheamus. When I bashed Sheamus with my Big Show chair, right before he slipped off into unconsciousness--"

Sheamus himself can hear no more, and hits the ring. "Relax, I'm not here to fight you. I'm here to tell you that I enjoyed our match last night. We beat the hell out of each other with fists and chairs, and it was probably the most physical and painful match of my life. But last night, you were the better man."

"Say that again?"

"I'm not ashamed to admit it. Last night, you were the better man. You beat me fair and square when you used your big chair. So tonight, I've come out here to shake your hand."

"That's a noble gesture. (shakes hand) Now get to the back of the line, you potato-eating Irishman. What made you think that your ginger snap ass could ever beat me?"

Sheamus hits a spear, then several giant chair shots, followed by a Brogue Kick. Sheamus leaves as... I think I see where this might be going... DOLPH ZIGGLER! CALLED IT!

Match Seven: World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show (c)

Before the match can begin, John Cena throws Ziggler out of the ring, then into the barricade.

Match Never Started

Wow. I know that was supposed to be Cena pissed off about losing the match last night, but that honestly just came off as a huge dick move.

The competitors for the next match start to head to the ring, but before it can begin, Dolph Ziggler confronts Vickie Guerrero for allowing Cena to interfere. Vickie then confronts Ziggler back asking what's going on with AJ. Ziggler pleads ignorance, then rips Vickie apart for being jealous before calling her tired, old and ugly. Vickie makes a match: Ziggler and AJ vs. Cena and herself.

Match Eight/Seven: 3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio, The Miz and TBA After Commercial

The Miz introduces his partner: Philadelphia legend and Kingston Whig Standard columnist Tommy Dreamer!

Match Eight/Seven: 3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio, The Miz and Tommy Dreamer

Del Rio and McIntyre lock up, McIntyre with a kick, stomps in the corner, Del Rio with kicks, enziguri, twists the arm, Dreamer in, Slater in, Slater with a shove, Dreamer is wearing a House of Hardcore shirt, I just noticed. Dreamer with a punch, flapjack, full-scale brawl breaks out, faces clear the ring, Del Rio with a suicide dive, Miz with a baseball slide, Dreamer with a double sledge to all three opponents, commercial.

Back on, Mahal has Dreamer in a headlock, Dreamer breaks out, Miz in, Slater in, Miz with punches, flapjack, clothesline in the corner, boot to Mahal, Slater knocks Miz off the apron, Mahal with a running big boot, Slater with a flapjack into the barricade, rolls Miz back in the ring, two-count, McIntyre in, snapmare, arm drag, twists the head, Miz punches his way out, McIntyre with a whip, Miz with a sunset flip for two, McIntyre with a kick, Mahal in, choke in the ropes, knee lift for two, chinlock, Miz elbows his way out, Miz Combo, Slater in, front facelock, McIntyre in, Miz starts fighting his way out of the enemy corner, McIntyre with a boot, snapmare, punch to Del Rio, or possibly Dreamer, Slater in, stomps, kick to the gut, body slam reversed into a rollup for two, Slater with a clothesline, Miz goes for a tag, Slater grabs his leg, tags in Mahal, Mahal with an elbow drop for two, choke in the ropes, Slater with a running stomp, Mahal with a knee drop, McIntyre in, Fireman's Carry drop, cover for two, stomps the hand, Slater in, punch, cover for two, chinlock, punch to Dreamer, Del Rio in, clothesline, then another, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, punch to McIntyre, running soperkick to Slater, Mahal breaks a cover, Miz clotheslines him out of the ring, Del Rio goes for an arm breaker, Slater blocks, misses an avalanche, Del Rio with an enziguri in the corner, goes for a cross arm breaker, sees Dreamer on the ropes, makes the tag, Dreamer with a DDT for two.

Winners: The Miz, Alberto Del Rio and The Miz

Sheamus then makes his way out to present the Newcomer of the Year award. It's fitting, given that he won the award himself three years ago and more than lived up to the hype.

Nominees: Antonio Cesaro, Brodus Clay (not actually a newcomer), Damien Sandow, Ryback (also not actually a newcomer)

Newcomer of the Year: Ryback

Not really a surprise. Not really a disagreeable decision either.

Ryback: "The late, great Owen Hart used to say enough is enough and it's time for a change. I am that change. Feed me more!"

Match Nine/Eight: Ryback vs. US Champion Antonio Cesaro (non-title)

On the way to the ring, Cesaro proclaims himself the real newcomer of the year. If the awards were 100% non-kayfabe, I would definitely agree.

Cesaro with kicks, whip, reversed, Ryback with a thesz press, throws Cesaro's head into the ring, Cesaro with a headbutt, Ryback with a clothesline, body slam reversed into a punch to the back of the head, forearm to the back, suplex, reversed into a delayed vertical for two, shoulder tackles in the corner, whip, Cesaro with a boot, spinebuster, neutralizer reversed into a back body drop, spinebuster of his own, calls for the Meat Hook clothesline, Cesaro leaves the ring, takes his title and starts to walk away, only to be thrown back into the ring, where he merely resumes leaving.

Winner by Countout: Ryback

As I've said already twice, consider me intrigued. I'm looking forward to more between the two of them.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund, Ricky Steamboat and JR come out to present the final Slammy of the night: Match of the year. I think last night's six man tag has to be considered a contender, although I doubt it will be nominated.

Nominees: The Undertaker vs. HHH (Hell in a Cell), Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena (Extreme Rules), Sheamus vs. Big Show (the first time), The Rock vs. John Cena

Match of the Year: Undertaker vs. HHH, Hell in a Cell, Wrestlemania XXVIII

HHH comes out to accept the award, appearing on screen with short hair for the first time in WWE history.

"What's ironic is I won one of these back in '97 for best hair. You know, every now and then you get an opportunity to be a part of something that-- ("We Want Taker" chant erupts) that is truly just... it can only be described as magic. And this past year at Wrestlemania, I had a chance to be part of something magical. To have the opportunity to be out there with two guys I respect to death, Shawn Michaels and a guy I consider to be the benchmark of this industry, The Undertaker. This match was incredible, it was magic, and it was the end of an era. But I'll let you in on a little secret, because I know there's a million dollar question hanging in the air, and I'm going to answer it right now, you've not seen the last of The Undertaker."

Backstage The Shield are attacking Tommy Dreamer through the shipping area. Ricardo Rodriguez tries to interject, and gets beaten down as well before officials force them to leave the building.

AJ comes out for the main event before asking the ring crew to set up a ladder in the ring. She then scales it with a microphone.

"Well I'm just full of surprises, aren't I? All anyone keeps saying to me this whole past day is why? Why would I do that to everyone's hero John Cena at TLC? I stopped at a gas station last night and they asked me why. A bus boy at a hotel asked me why. In fact, a couple of hours ago a couple of Divas asked me why. Although that might have been for making out with John Cena. But everyone keeps asking me why. I thought it would be obvious: The reason I knocked John Cena off the ladder at TLC--"

"EXCUSE ME!" Vickie is out. "No one cares why you did it, AJ. All they care about is that I take your squirmy butt and drag it all around this ring, again.

Main Event: AJ and Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena and Vickie Guerrero

I have no earthly idea what the heel/face dynamic of this match is supposed to be. At all. And you know what? That's actually pretty cool.

Men start off, Cena misses a clothesline, lockup, Cena shoots the leg, covers for one, front facelock, Ziggler reverses into a hammerlock, Cena with a back suplex, AJ in drawing Vickie in by extension, catfight, AJ leaves the ring, Ziggler attacks Cena, punches, stomps, why is AJ not being counted out? Ziggler tries to talk to Vickie, she leaves as well, Ziggler missesan avalanche, Cena goes for the AA, reversed into a leaping DDT for two, repeated elbow drops, Ziggler misses a superkick, STF, AJ returns with... Big E. Langston? Langston clotheslines Cena, hits his finisher.

Winners by DQ: John Cena and Vickie Guerrero

Damn, that NXT Championship really should be renamed the Main Roster Promotion Imminent Championship. AJ skips as Raw goes off the air and I'm still horribly confused. Which I like.