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Our WWE Elimination Chamber 2013 Recap begins tonight at 7:30 PM ET with the YouTube pre-show! When the recap begins, hit F5 or refresh as often as you like for the latest updates. The Rock defends his WWE Title against CM Punk, a new #1 contender for Alberto Del Rio is determined in the Chamber, and John Cena's team takes on The Shield in a 3-on-3 match. All of this and more takes place TONIGHT.

ALSO - the AngryMarks chatroom will be open for discussion throughout the show!

7:30 PM ET. YouTube pre-show is underway!! Matt Striker and Tony Dawson are on commentary at ringside. Right now they are running a video package hyping the Chamber match, with Mark Henry laying people out left and right. Josh Mathews is backstage with Randy Orton, but it's so loud in the bar I can't hear what he's saying. I assume it's something like "Anybody who gets in my way tonight will get a R... K... O." Now we've got a video package for The Shield, with a response from Team Cena.

7:39 PM ET. The Rhodes Scholars have just arrived and Damien Sandow is talking his way to the ring. Let's just assume he said "shut up" and "ignoramuses" in there somewhere.

* Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Team Dancing Happy Fat Guys

And here come the Funkadactyls, along with Brodus Clay. Clay has to turn around and go back through the Gorilla Position to get Tensai, who now looks like a member of La Resistance with his French hat. Brodus gets in the ring and starts to wiggle and jiggle. Tensai walks around with a sullen look on his face like he finds the whole thing stupid. This gets us to a throwback clip from Las Vegas last month of Tensai in lingerie - like any of us needed to see that again - thanks Vinnie Mac.

Clay and Sandow start the match and Sandow quickly gets knocked out of the ring, causing the Rhodes Scholars to regroup. Rhodes tags in and tells Brodus he wants Tensai, so Tensai tags in. Rhodes ducks him and tries to poke him in the eye - EPIC FAIL. Tensai whips him into the corner, goes to the second rope, but Rhodes recovers before he can jump off. Tensai lays him out anyway and he slumps onto Fat Albert, but Rhodes recovers for a canvas uppercut. Rhodes and Sandow use quick tags to cut off the ring and beat Tensai down.

Tensai misses on a back senton and Sandow tags in for a knee lunge, then signals for the Elbow of Disdain - which connects. Tensai winces in pain as he stands up, then gets pearl harbored for good measure. Sandow backs up and charges but eats a body block that sends him reeling, causing Clay to tag in and clean house. The ring quickly becomes a cluser and Team Fat Boys make Sandow and Rhodes the filling in a sandwich, then give Rhodes a double Funk Splash for the three count. Funkadactyls hit the rings with their pom-poms to celebrate. YOUR WINNERS: TEAM FAT BOYS.

This is followed by some PPV hype and a shot of the Chamber hanging over the ring with lights flashing on it, and a video package of past Chamber matches. That's going to do it for the pre-show - see you for the main card in 10 minutes!

8:00 PM ET. Elimination Chamber is underway! Remember, bootlegging is illegal. Remember, do not try this at home. Video package reminds us just how dangerous and destructive the Elimination Chamber is, and The Shield's path of destruction, and The Rock winning the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble, before we go inside the building for the crowd shots of excited WWE fans - which causes the marks here at the bar to start applauding. I've been amped up for a PPV, but I don't know that I've ever applauded at the bar just for the start. Apparently there are almost 16,000 fans at the Arena tonight, and it's sold out.

* Alberto Del Rio {C} vs. The Big Show (World Heavyweight Title)

The Big Show comes out first, looking surly as always. Birthday boy Ricardo announces Del Rio to the ring before we go to Marcelo Rodriguez and Carlos Cabrera on commentary. Every now and again I miss seeing Hugo Savinovich at the Spanish Announce Table. Cole reminds us that people are watching live around the world and on cable in Del Rio's home country of Mexico. Lawler botches trying to explain that there's a PPV party at his house in Memphis. Big Show immediately starts the match by punching Del Rio in the gut, then throwing him into the corner for a "frying pan hand" knife edge chop. Del Rio is reeling. He tries to attack a knee but gets cut off quickly. Scoop slam with authority. The referee checks on Del Rio, then Show starts to choke him on the ropes to a count of 4 before he breaks.

Show unloads with another knife edge chop, but misses on a butt thrust to the corner, at which point Del Rio grabs a leg and chops it down to the canvas. SUPERKICK BY DEL RIO FOR A TWO COUNT. If that was Shawn Michaels, this would already be over. Del Rio claps his hands and the fans chant SI SI SI. Big Show HITS DEL RIO WITH A SPEAR FOR 2. If that was Edge, this would already be over. Lesson to both guys - stick to your own finishing moves - you'll do better. Show knocks Del Rio down with a clothesline. Ricardo complains and pounds on the apron in frustration. Del Rio tries to kick Show's leg but gets kicked in the throat. Show disdainfully kicks him in the back as he lays on the mat. Big Show climbs to the second rope and jumps off to SPLAT Del Rio, but he kicks out at 2.5. Del Rio goes for a Cross Armbreaker and Show reaches and reaches for the ropes - HE HOOKS THE ROPES WITH A BOOT FOR THE BREAK. Close call for Showkishi.

Del Rio tries to jump off the ropes for a crossbody, but jumps right into a bear hug, and Show squeezes the life juices out of him. Del Rio struggles to get free but it's Ricardo who provides the distraction with his bucket - towel and bottled water inside - which Show throws at him in disgust. Del Rio tries to take advantage, gets tucked between Show's legs for a power bomb, but Del Rio counters to knock Show down then does a suicida to the outside to lay him out. Show gets back in the ring just before the countout and winds up eating a seated senton for a near fall. Del Rio tries to hit a running boot to the face, Show catches him for a chokeslam, Del Rio kicks out at 2.9.

Big Show holds up his fist and balls it up to signal this is over, but Del Rio wisely rolls to the outside. Show grabs him by the head and pulls him up, then throws him over the ropes into the ring with ease. Del Rio escapes his grasp, Show picks him back up, Del Rio counters this to a DDT for a near fall. Another near fall by Del Rio and Big Show kicks out. Del Rio goes for the Cross Armbreaker again and Show tries to reach his fingers out for the ropes. This time he's in the middle of the ring though - he may be too far away. SHOW POWERS UP STANDS UP AND SLAMS DEL RIO TO BREAK THE HOLD. That's the difference between pro wrestling and MMA - 9 times out of 10 in a real fight you'd just cinch the armbar tighter by doing that.

Show gives Ricardo a knockout punch but Del Rio kicks him in the head as he's about to throw the bucket and him - and again - and GOES FOR THE ARMBREAKER A THIRD TIME. Will it work this time? Show fights and fights and fights for the ropes... AND FINALLY TAPS OUT - DEL RIO RETAINS! The whole bar applauded that finish - they're really into this PPV tonight. Good opening match for Elimination Chamber! We get a shot of the New Orleans skyline, a shot of JBL, Cole and Lawler at the announce table, then we get an "exclusive sneak peak" trailer for The Rock's new movie G.I. Joe: Redemption.

* Antonio Cesaro {C} vs. The Miz (United States Title Match)

Cesaro comes out first, followed by Mizanin. Considering every interview Miz gave in the last week was an admission he's the worst babyface ever ("I didn't change my character - people just started liking me") I'm cheering for Claudio Castagnoli in this one. #TeamSwiss.

The bell rings at 8:30 ET and our second match is underway! I like the fact Cesaro now has a U.S. flag on his trunks. Miz has his entire left arm and shoulder taped up. Cesaro tries to throw him out of the ring, Miz lands on the apron, then sneaks through the legs for a near fall. Cesaro immediately does an arm wringer, but Miz tries to schoolboy him. Miz charges Cesaro in the corner and gets kicked in the shoulder. Cesaro catches Miz on a leapfrog attempt, holds him in the air for a few seconds, then spikes him into the ground with a big smile on his face. He keeps on jumping on the shoulder and kicking at it.

(Shout out to both @lavabubble and @bookert2003 on the #TeamSwiss retweets. Wouldn't it be awesome if that started trending?)

Cesaro grounds Miz and works on the arm, so Miz tries to roll him up again, but Cesaro kicks out and grinds an elbow into Miz' face when he puts him back down. Everything Cesaro does he puts a little something "extra" into it. That's why he's great. That's why he's been great for years, long before he came to WWE. This guy gets it. Miz finally gets a boot to the face on Cesaro and JBL cracks a good joke for once about "knockin' out'cha Swiss biscuspids." Miz goes to the top rope but gets cut off right into an armbar. That'd be something if we had two armbar finishes in a row. Lawler even acknowledges it on commentary. Miz rolls through though and puts Cesaro's shoulders down for 2, then tosses Cesaro over the ropes.

Miz winces and sells his arm. Cesaro winces and sells his back. Miz tries to dive on Cesaro on the outside, but Cesaro catches him in the air. Cesaro starts running to spear him into the ringpost, but Miz counters and Cesaro's knee cracks the steel steps. Miz starts to take advantage of it in the ring as Cesaro lumps around. Miz hits a DDT and covers for 2.5. Miz dropkicks the left knee, works it over, signals for a Figure Four and CESARO FAKES A LOW BLOW TO THE GROIN AND THE REF CALLS FOR A DQ - CESARO RETAINS THE BELT. Well there's only one thing Miz can do now - PUNT HIM FOR REAL TO MAKE IT COUNT. The Miz gets to leave standing tall as Cesaro writhes on the mat in pain.

We don't actually see Miz leave though, because we go TO THE BACK for a confrontation between Kane and Daniel Bryan. Danielson says Kane is "grumpy" and Kane says that's appropriate, since from where I'm standing, you look like one of the 7 Dwaves. Kane says he's never main evented Mania before, so tonight is a big deal. Bryan says we should work together as Team Hell No to be the last two men left in the match. Kane gives him a hug and says "You watch my back, and I'll watch my back too." He leaves... and Bryan looks confused... pretending he doesn't get it. Pretty amusing.

* The 2013 Elimination Chamber Match

FINALLY, JACK SWAGGERS GETS SOME NEW MUSIC. About damn time. I had a hard time buying him as a heel with that faux-Rage Against the Machine theme. So he's our first man in the ring, and Zeb Colter is #2. "When I hold this mic, I hold the power. I use it to shower you with the truth. This man speaks the truth. This man is a great American. If you have any kind of respect for America, you will stand up and give it to him. This man is Zeb Colter." Zeb: "Thank you Jack. We are in a den of inequity, we are in New Orleans, Louisiana. On the eve of President's Day, I can't help but think about one of our founding fathers Thomas Jefferson and the Louisiana Purchase. I can't help but think he'd be disappointed by what became of it." The bar starts chanting SHUT THE HELL UP at him. I'm surprised New Orleans doesn't too. He concludes his lengthy rant with WE, THE PEOPLE and Jack Swagger parrots it until KANE'S PYRO INTERRUPTS.

Mark Henry slowly and methodically walks his way down to the ring and peels off his "Bent on Destruction" t-shirt, then stares at Jack Swagger in his pod as if to say "you're mine buddy," then takes his place inside of a pod. Our next man to make his way down to be locked into a chamber is Randy Orton. That can only mean one thing - HERE COMES DANIEL BRYAN. He and Chris Jericho are going to start this match off!! BREAK THE WALLS DOWN. Remember - this is Jericho's EIGHTH ELIMINATION CHAMBER. Even in a world of fake sports, that's a pretty impressive statistic.

The referee chains up the Chamber so nobody can get in or out and the bell rings at 8:58 ET. Bryan and Jericho stare each other down before mixing it up. Bryan with a shoulder tackle, Jericho with a couple of arm drags, Jericho grounds him as we get a shot of Mark Henry's pod. Bryan fights his way to his feet. Jericho shoots him off. Bryan leapfrogs him, nearly gets caught in the Walls, but Bryan tries to counter into a No Lock. Jericho gets out and goes for the Walls, but Bryan counters and throws him off with both feet, then goes to he corner to hit some YES! kicks to the chest. Bryan looks confused the crowd is cheering for this. He eats a boot to the face and some knife edge chops (WOO!) before bckflipping over Jericho. Y2J throws him to the apron, and he pulls Jericho out with him. Jericho and Bryan brawl on the steel grating outside. 10 TONS OF STEEL BY GAWD. Jericho catapults Bryan into the chain link fence. We're getting close to a pod opening. Which one will it be?

JACK SWAGGER IS OUT FIRST. Swagger bomb on Jericho for a 2 count. Swagger slams Bryan into the chain link fence, but Bryan ducks as Swagger tries to splash him. He's still down on the grating though, so Swagger puts a knee to his head before stepping back in the ring... to eat a dropkick from Jericho. Closed fists in the corner as the New Orleans crowd chants Y-2-J. Swagger gets whipped to the corner but ducks as Jericho charges, and he goes over the turnbuckle to crash and burn on the grating outside. Swagger takes advantage and throws him into the fencing shoulder first, then puts his face in the fence, then hits repeated knees to the gut. Knee by Bryan. Flying Goat by Bryan misses. It's about time for another pod. Who will it be this time?

THIS TIME IT'S KANE. He immediately attacks Jericho - the only man on his feet. We get a huge pile-up in the corner, Kane throws Swagger out, then Bryan tries to pin his partner Kane... and begs for mercy when he gets caught in the act. BRYAN OFFERS KANE A HUG. Kane shakes his head NO. He makes the title belt sign around his waist. Bryan says YES. Kane says NO. They go back and forth. Bryan finally slaps him and Kane WALLOPS him in response. Bryan hits a running kick to the corner and kicks Kane in the gut while he's down. Kane finally ducks one and throttles him for a chokeslam, Bryan nearly turns it into a No Lock, but Kane counters to a Sidewalk Slam for 2. Kane goes to the top rope. Bryan ends up on Jerico's shoulders and Kane gives him the Doomsday Device. Swagger runs in to steal the pin and Bryan kicks out at 2. Swagger and Kane brawl. Which pod will open next?

RANDY ORTON'S POD IS OPEN. Orton and Jericho immediately get into it. Orton gets throttled on the apron by Kane but gets thrown into the chain link fence multiple times. Draping DDT from the ropes TO THE GRATING ON THE OUTSIDE. Orton looks like he may have hurt his right arm doing that. He goes to the corner to give Jack Swagger a headbutt. Jericho and Bryan are in one corner. Orton and Swagger are in the other. Superplexes for both Swagger and Bryan! Henry looks on. All five men are laid out and Henry just can't wait to get into that cage - he's pounding on the walls of his pod. Why doesn't he just break that "unbreakable" glass and get in? Well there's only 10 more seconds for him to wait.

HENRY IS IN AT 9:14 ET. All six men are now in the Chamber and not a single person has been Eliminated by it. I spoke too soon. MARK HENRY PINS DANIEL BRYAN. We're now down to five men. HENRY THROWS ORTON HEAD FIRST THROUGH THE "UNBREAKABLE" POD AND DESTROYS IT. HENRY PINS KANE AND WE ARE DOWN TO FOUR MEN LEFT. He goes to work on Chris Jericho next. Jericho escapes and he and Jack Swagger double team Henry, throwing him spine first into the cage fence. DOUBLE TEAM SUPLEX ONTO THE STEEL GRATE. That has to hurt everybody involved - and to their credit both Jericho and Swagger are selling it.

Jericho is first to his feet and clotheslines Swagger back into the ring. Jericho gets a near fall. Swagger gives him a boot to the face and goes for a gutwrench suplex. Jericho tries to counter into the Walls and gets kicked off. Jericho gives Swagger a bulldog. Before he can follow up Henry catches him jumping to the ropes and THROWS HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE FENCE, screaming "THAT'S WHAT I DO" to everybody listening. We heard you Mark, we heard. He picks up Jericho and throws him into Swagger. Henry is looking unbeatable in this match right now - which probably means he won't win - but at least they're making him look like a beast first. JERICHO HITS HIM WITH A CODEBREAKER AND ORTON HITS HIM WITH A RKO AND HENRY IS ELIMINATED.

We're down to Swagger, Jericho and Orton. Who wants it more? Henry slowly and painfully makes his way down the steps out of the cage - THEN HE SAYS FUCK THIS SHIT AND GETS BACK INTO THE RING. HENRY SLAMS SWAGGER. HENRY SLAMS ORTON. HENRY SLAMS JERICHO as the refs swarm. Booker T and Teddy Long are both out too. Everybody involved is like GET THE HELL OUT HENRY NOW. Booker T is POINTING AT THE EXIT. Henry finally leaves as a cadre of referees and General Managers follow him. Booker T is chewing his ass out the whole way up the ramp. LOVE IT.

Swagger is the first man to try to take advantage of Henry's carnage for a near fall. He's taking turns punching both Orton and Jericho, until they both recover and start double teaming him, then throw him HEAD FIRST INTO A POD. Jim Ross would say something about how the pod has no give. Orton knocks down Jericho with a couple of clotheslines. Jericho hits the ropes but gets thrown over them by Orton. Orton dropkicks him when he tries to come off the top and covers him for 2.9. Swagger misses with a clothesline and gets a power slam from Orton - Jericho gets one too. Orton tries to set Swagger up for a draping DDT and gets dropkicked in the face. Orton kicks out at 2.99999.

Swagger pulls himself up. Clothesline misses. Codebreaker is blocked. Belly to belly throw for a near fall on Jericho. Swagger bomb misses but he turns it into the Patriot Act. Will Orton tap out? Jericho kicks him in the back of the head to break it up but now Jericho is in the Patriot Act. Jericho rolls through it into the Walls! Will Swagger tap out? Orton hits a bacbreaker then tries to cover Swagger - he kicks out. Swagger charges and gets floated over to the steel grate. Orton uts Jericho through the ropes, Swagger tries to break it up, DOUBLE DRAPING DDT FOR BOTH MEN. Orton paces around the ring and signals to the crowd that his time is now. He's pounding on the apron! Who will get the RKO? JERICHO BLOCKS IT. LIONSAULT MISSES. RKO CONNECTS! JERICHO IS PINNED BY ORTON! SWAGGER ROLLS UP ORTON TO WIN!!!!!

(Shouts out to @MoziDuze and @Akileese for their tweets during the match!)

* The Shield vs. Ryback, John Cena & Sheamus

Cena is out first, engendering a mixture of cheers and boos from the DJ's Dugout crowd. Sheamus is out second. Ryback is out third. Our latest Twitter shoutout goes to @youcangetthis. The Shield all come down through the crowd as one group, with Roman Reigns taking the lead. Team Cena doesn't wait and attacks them on the outside, leading to triple delayed vertical suplexes in the ring. The Bell finally rings and Sheamus is immediately attacking Dean Ambrose. Sheamus rips off his flak jacket to give him ten fists to the chest on the apron, and he falls to the floor in a heap. Roman Reigns finally knocks him down. He's brought back into the ring and given a series of headbutts, then all three members of The Shield take a turn working him over before Seth Rollins goes for a pin.

Sheamus is down in the middle of the ring with Tyler Bl... I mean Seth Rpllins working him over. He gets up but gets thrown to the heel corner, where Dean Ambrose tags in. Sheamus finally counters him and both Cena and Ryback scream for the hot tag - Cena gets it. Roman Reigns tags in too and Cena starts to hit him with the five moves of doom and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. The F-U is blocked so Cena goes for the STFU but it gets broken up and Cena gets pearl harbored to boot. Reigns rolls him onto his shoulders but can only keep him down for 2. We get a replay of Cena being laid out. The crowd is chanting FEED ME MORE.

Boots to the gut by Ambrose, who is now the legal man. Cover for 2 but the ref breaks it up since he was using the ropes for leverage. Rollins tags in. He begs Cena to get up and punches him back down. He does it again. Cena finally hulks up and knocks The Shield off the apron but Rollins puts him back down again. He's got his tongue out salivating as Cena pulls himself up the ropes, then splashes him in the corner. This leads to dueling LET'S GO CENA and CENA SUCKS chants. Rollins plugs his ears and tags in Ambrose. Ambrose promptly gives Cena a headbutt. He runs off Reigns back to splash him in the corner and the now legal Reigns clotheslines Cena for a near fall that Sheamus breaks up.

The crowd is chanting FEED ME MORE again. Cena starts a comeback with punches but Reigns slams him for 2. Reigns has an evil smile - he applies the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE to Cena. I know we'll never ever hear an announcer call it that ever again - but that's what it is to me. Cena tries to reach his fingers out to Sheamus for a tag but he can't quite get there. Reigns grounds him in the middle of the ring with a chinlock. JBL says The Shield has executed a picture perfect gameplan tonight. Cena finally muscles his way into breaking the grip and knocks Reigns down. He's trying to crawl to the ropes but he's crawling to the heel corner so Reigns clothesline him down for 2.

Ambrose gets the legal tag and starts to work Cena over. Ambrose puts a leg lock around his head but Cena stands up out of it in a dead lift but eats a knee to the gut and a DDT for 2.9. Ambrose can't believe that didn't finish him and punches the canvas in frustration. Our latest FEED ME MORE chant begins. Ambrose charges and Cena floats him over to the shiny black mats on the outside. This may finally be the break Cena needs to tag Ryback. He's trying to recover, so is Ambrose, CENA GETS THE TAG FIRST AND RYBACK CLEANS HOUSE. Every member of The Shield takes a beating from Mr. Hungry until Roman Reigns knocks him down. Sheamus jumps in the ring to make it a cluster. He spills outside where ROMAN REIGNS SPEARS HIM THROUGH THE BARRICADE. Rollins tries a crossbody, Ryback catches him, but a low-blow saves Rollins. Cena hits the ring and we AMBROSE HITS A SPEAR WHILE ROLLINS IS IN THE AIR FOR THE SHELLSHOCK AND THEN PINS RYBACK FOR THREE - THE SHIELD WIN. #IWC rejoice!

Ziggler is here with Team Ziggles and he's pissed he wasn't booked tonight. Booker T says you want some, you can get some, I've got a match for you.

* Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi monkeyflips him right onto his shoulder and face. Ziggler posts him hard into the turnbuckle in response. AJ stands there twirling her hair. Lawler calls her a doorknob because "everybody's had a turn." Ziggler puts on a sleeper. Kofi escapes. SLAM INTO THE TURNBUCKLE AND ZIG ZAG FOR THREE. Short night of work for #TheShowoff. It's not over though as Big E. Langston is in the ring punching him and tackling Kofi.

This leads to a backstage segment where Brodus Clay and the Funkadactyls play with the new action figures that wrestle each other. Tensai tells Clay not to call him "Sweet T" and asks where his action figure is. Clay says they probably couldn't make one with all that "scribble scrabble" on his face and asks what it means. Tensai says it's supposed to be Japanese words of honor "but with my luck it's probably a sushi menu." He gets a Funkadactyl slap on the butt and is told "turn that frown upside down!" Clay calls for the music and Tensai starts dancing.

* Kaitlyn {C} vs. Tamina Snuka (WWE Divas Title Match)

They've got all the divas at the PPV standing around a monitor backstage like they're interested in taking on the winner. Tamna Snuka spends the first 3-4 minutes of the match beating Kaitlyn up then goes to the top rope for a Superfly Splash - but nobody's home. KAITLYN IMMEDIATELY SPEARS HER AND PICKS UP THE WIN. On the Dave Meltzer five star scale THIS MATCH WAS A DUD.

* The Rock {C} vs. CM Punk (WWE Title Match)

CM Punk and Paul Heyman come out first. As a reminder to the readers this match is ROCK LOSES THE TITLE ON A COUNTOUT OR DQ - he's lost the "champion's advantage." Justin Roberts is sure to remind us that Punk is "The People's Champion" as he holds up the stolen WWE Title. After kissing the belt numerous times he finally hands it off to the ref. It's 10:27 ET and we're just waiting for The Rock's arrival. IF YOU SMELLLLLL... and The Brahma Bull is in New Orleans! Justin Roberts reminds us of the added stipulations as he does his big match introductions. The bell to ring this match comes at 10:30 ET.

Punk has a big arrogant grin on his face as the two men circle. Punk puts him in a headlock, Rock shoots him off, but Punk knocks him down with a shoulder tackle as celebrates on the ropes. The Rock is like "okay - you got me there." Heyman applauds. They tie up again and Punk applies a side headlock. He is shot off and knocks Rock down a second time. Rock licks his lips and nods his head like "alright - okay - not again." Punk and Rock circle and Punk is grinning like a million dollars. Side headlock by Punk and he gets Rock down to one knee. The Rock powers back to his feet shoots Punk off and IS KNOCKED DOWN A THIRD TIME. Rock finally goes on offense with two armdrags and Punk rolls out of the ring before Rock can hit a shoulder tackle of his own.

Punk takes his time getting back into the ring and the two get face to face and start talking smack to each other. Punk slaps him in the face and The Rock goes into a tirade and starts wailing on Punk. The ref warns him he'll be disqualifies. Rock does it again and the ref warns him a second time. Punk is laughing as he gets back up. PUNKS SPITS RIGHT ON HIS FOREHEAD. The Rock lays him out and goes outside. When they get back in the ring Punk lays him down with a clothesline, then pulls him back up by the head for a neckbreaker and a two count. He applies a chinlock from behind and the fans start dueling chants of LET'S GO ROCKY and CM PUNK. Rock gets up and Punk grinds him back down as Heyman looks on, elbows on the apron, near praying for Punk to win.

Punk mocks The Rock after a near fall as he applies another chinlock. JBL talks about what a great manager Paul Heyman is and what he brings to the table, and is accused by the other announcers of "drinking the Kool-Aid." Rock gets back to his feet and starts punching Punk but eats a heel kick to the jaw that puts him down for 2. Heyman reminds him that he had a 1.5 count, and now he has a 2 count, so "he's getting closer each time." Now THAT is the value that Paul Heyman brings to a match - those little added comments that only a weaselly heel manager would make. Punk grounds Rock again but he stands up as the fants chant his name and throws punches to the gut and the jaw. Big right hands wobble Punk, but he gets a boot up in the corner. Springboard clothesline for a near fall. Paul Heyman tells Punk that he's now "up to 2 and a half" - God bless The Walrus!

As I type this it's 10:40 ET, so we've got anywhere from 5-15 minutes left before the PPV is over. I suspect this may go closer to the top of the hour than the usual. Rock fights to his feet yet again and breaks Punk's grip. He goes back to throwing those right hands and whips Punk to the corner, but this time Rock catches the boot when Punk throws it up. The Rock backs off when he's in danger of being DQ'd for not letting up in the corner, and Punk responds with a high knee that stuns The Rock. A flying knee and a clothesline follow. Punk goes to the top rope and checks the time before THE MACHO MAN FLYING ELBOW and Punk gets a 2.9 near fall off of it.

The Rock rolls out of the ring, Punk gives chase, and he starts to disassemble the Spanish Announce table. A fan sitting next to me jokes that they should protest their table always being destroyed. Rock and Punk wind up back in the ring and Punk gets another near fall. Heyman pounds the mat three times to signal the ref to count faster. Punk gets up and drags Rock around by the arm, then grabs his head to throw him out of the ring. He tells the ref something that causes him to go over and argue with Heyman, but meanwhile PUNK PUTS ROCK ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE AND GIVES HIM A ROCK BOTTOM. The ref starts a countout but The Rock recovers and gets back in before 10.

"Vintage Rock" screams Michael Cole as he plants CM Punk on the canvas - but both men are down. The ref gets to 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and Punk hands some of his tape to Heyman as he's getting up. Not sure if that will lead to anything. Rock begins wildly swinging away with right hands and Punk responds with right elbows. The Rock does a flying clothesline coming off the ropes and a DDT, and The Rock starts shouting at Punk. He's feeling it. Rock Botom may be coming. Punk staggers to his feet but Punk counters with elbows to the back of The Rock's neck when he goes for it. JBL drops his "perfect gameplan" line again in response. Punk goes for a springboard and winds up countered into a ROCK BOTTOM. THE ROCK COLLIDES WITH THE REF, PUNK HITS THE G2S, BUT NOBODY CAN MAKE THE COUNT BECAUSE THE OFFICIAL IS DOWN AND OUT. Heyman is begging a second official to get in the ring, but before he can do it, THE ROCK HITS A SPINEBUSTER AND THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW. Rock covers him but PUNK KICKS OUT AT 2.99999.

It's 10:50 ET. What's left? Punk and The Rock collide with the ref and he falls down selling his ankle. Punk kicks Rock in the head but once again nobody is there to make the cover. Paul Heyman goes over and gives CM Punk the WWE title. Heyman holds up The Rock, CM Punk charges, The Rock ducks and PUNK LAYS HEYMAN OUT. The ref crawls in bad ankle and all and COUNTS ONE, TWO, THREE - THE ROCK WINS!! THE ROCK WINS!! That's it for Elimination Chamber!