Date: 03/04	7:15 PM
Views: 537

Tonight's Raw has an old-school theme. Confirmed for the event are such legends as Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair and Mean Gene. Also rumored is the return of The Undertaker. With Wrestlemania only a few weeks away, tonight's Raw has to be big, as does every Raw between now and then. This should be a hell of a night, and if you can't see it there, read it here.

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Raw doesn't waste any time getting to the point, as Raw itself kicks off with the return of The Undertaker! Undertaker only gets as far as the entrance ramp before the old-school introduction for Raw kicks in and when it comes back, he is gone.

CM Punk and Paul Heyman hit the ring, Punk takes a mic. "I should be main-eventing this year's Wrestlemania. I should be defending my championship in the main event of this year's Wrestlemania, but I'm not. And I'm not, not because of anything I did or didn't do, I'm not in the main event and I'm not the champion because of you (people). You stole from me what I hold in this world most precious, you screwed me, you did! And in screwing me, you only screwed yourselves because if I cannot be in the main event of Wrestlemania, I see no reason to be at Wrestlemania, there's no purpose, there's no point in CM Punk being at Wrestlemania. But what I just saw, what the world just laid their eyes on gives me that purpose. You took from me, and now I'm going to take from you. I am going to beat The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. You like your streak? You like those numbers, 20-0 so bad, yet you roll your eyes when I mention a historic 434 day title reign, the longest in decades? You want to talk about how snarky I am? Well, I back it up, and none of you have done anything great. You take from me, I take from you. You roll your eyes at 434, I have a new number for you, 20-1. That 1 is drug-free, alcohol-free, the best in the world, CM Punk. At Wrestlemania, I beat The Undertaker. Deal with it."

Randy Orton enters with a mic. "I wouldn't be so confident, Punk, considering that I already beat you at Wrestlemania. Besides, you've never faced The Undertaker at the show of shows, I have. It was eight years ago, I was a rookie, and I came this close. Thing is, I'm not a rookie any more. I'm the most dangerous man in the WWE, the Apex Predator. What I'd like to ask right now is the WWE Universe, who they'd rather see face The Undertaker at Wrestlemania: CM Punk or Randy Orton?"

The Big Show enters as well. "You know what? You two are out here running off at the lip about facing The Undertaker at Wrestlemania? What makes you think you have what it takes to stop The Undertaker? I faced The Undertaker at Wrestlemania too, but I didn't have this (his fist), did I? If you want to break the streak, you need to be more than a viper, more than straight-edge, you need to be a giant. And that giant is going to knock The Undertaker's 20-0 streak right into oblivion."

Sheamus hits the ring. "So, I've been listening to each and every one of you about how you're going to beat The Undertaker, but here's the reality: Out of all of the four of us, I'm the only one who's never faced The Undertaker, which means I'm also the only one who's never lost to The Undertaker. To end the streak, it's going to take more than a big fist, a GTS or an RKO to keep the deadman down. But maybe, just maybe, what it's going to take is this big boot, all the heart in the world and a little bit of luck to complete the impossible. And when you have the luck of the Irish on your side, anything is possible."

EXCUSE ME!

Vickie Guerrero is out. "The person who defeats The Undertaker at Wrestlemania will go on to cement his legacy as the greatest of all time. So, to determine who gets the opportunity to break the streak, there will be a Fatal Four Way match, and the winner will get the chance to face The Undertaker at Wrestlemania!"

Match One: US Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. Ryback (non-title)

Cesaro with a punch, whip, reversed, Ryback with a shoulder tackle, shoulder tackles in the corner, body slam, Cesaro bails, climbs back in, Ryback with a delayed vertical, cover for two, Cesaro with punches, then punches in the corner, stomps, ref forces a break, Ryback presses Cesaro to the apron, Cesaro drops Ryback's throat across the top rope, goes up top, Ryback catches him, Gorilla Press Slam, clotheslines Cesaro out of the ring, punch, Cesaro throws Ryback into the ring post, boot, Ryback hits the barricade, Cesaro with mounted punches, commercial.

Back on, Cesaro has Ryback in a chinlock, knees, slap, Ryback with an elbow, clothesline, back body drop, spinebuster, Meat Hook reversed into a European Uppercut, Neutralizer reversed into Shellshocked for three.

Winner: Ryback

Is this or any other of Cesaro's non-title losses ever going to turn into a title feud? Apparently not this one. Mark Henry makes his entrance and stares down Ryback. Henry nods at Ryback but ultimately walks past him.

Match Two: Mark Henry vs. Zack Ryder

Henry with a shove, Ryder with punches, Henry with another throw, Ryder with more punches, Henry with a whip, clothesline, World's Strongest Slam for three.

Winner: Mark Henry

Match Three: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

The Miz introduces Ric Flair in his corner. Lockup, break, lockup, Ziggler with a knee, punch, punch in the corner, Miz with a boot, then several more, Ziggler with punches of his own, then punches in the corner, chop, Miz with a punch, knee, boot, Ziggler hits the floor, commercial.

Back on, Ziggler with a boot, neckbreaker for two, chinlock, Miz punches his way out, Ziggler with punches, trading punches, then kicks, back to punches, Miz wins the exchange, ref forces a break in the corner, Ziggler presses Miz to the apron, Miz responds with a sunset flip for two, Backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two, Ziggler with a jackknife cover for two, Miz with a chop block, Ziggler with a leaping DDT for two, Miz misses a boot, Ziggler with a sleeper, Miz snapmares his way out, flapjack, hanging clothesline in the corner, climbs the top rope, double axe handle, AJ with a distraction, Langston with a clothesline, Flair starts going to town on Langston, Langston doesn't even flinch, Miz with a baseball slide, Ziggler with a rollup for two, Miz with the Figure Four for the tapout.

Winner: The Miz

Miz and Flair do the Flair Strut and elbow the mat to celebrate.

The Rock is out next with the new WWE Championship for a point/counterpoint with John Cena. "I really need you to understand something. I just came in from Central America, Panema, where it is 95 degrees every single day. But The Rock knew he was coming to Raw, and he was very excited, so The Rock started packing his shoes, his workout clothes, his boots, his boots to asses boots, I got to the airport, the woman working there says 'Don't you need a jacket?' I say, 'What are you talking about, Sally?' She says, 'My name's Donna.' The Rock says, 'It doesn't matter what your name is, bitch, The Rock doesn't need a jacket!' The Rock told that woman he doesn't need a jacket, I've got electricity, enough to melt an igloo, an iceberg, everything. And then The Rock's plane touched down in Buffalo, and The Rock got out. Sweet Harlem Shaking Honey Boo Boo it's cold here. The Rock was so cold, I looked down and there were icicles forming on the People's Nipples. But a smile hit my face because I knew that as soon as that cold air hit my face, I could say, after ten long years, finally, The Rock has come back to Buffalo! The Rock came to Buffalo and it means one thing: We are a little over a month away, 34 days to be exact, from Wrestlemania!"

John Cena's music hits, and Cena hits the ring. "34 days away from Wrestlemania, you are right, sorry to interrupt but I had to come out here right this second. Because I've been waiting for this moment for a year, and you don't even know why, you can't know why because you are Dwayne Johnson, the man who conquered the WWE in the Attitude Era, left and conquered Hollywood and then came back to conquer the WWE again. You haven't failed in your life, so you can't know what it's like to have to tell everyone that you need to do something, and then fail. I spent all of last year telling everyone, especially those very close to me, that I needed this match, and then I failed. You don't know what that does to a man, Rock. I'll tell you. It makes you feel worthless. It makes you feel like a crowd of hate is reigning down on you, it makes you feel weak, it makes you want to crawl into a hole and go away. That night sent my career into a tailspin, go ahead, check the timeline, right after that a very bad thing happened to me personally and professionally, because I could not get over my obsession with the fact that I failed. I couldn't jump over that hurdle with the fact that I told these people I would get it done and I didn't. You were responsible for my collapse, but through failure I get stronger, because you are also responsible for my turnaround. You think it's a coincidence that the night you won the WWE Championship, I won the Royal Rumble? You think it's a coincidence that a week after you solidify your place in the Wrestlemania main event I do something I've never been able to do and beat CM Punk? I get a chance to re-write history. This is more than a title shot. This is a shot at redemption. You know how many people don't even get a first shot? I get a second shot to make it all right, so I just came out here to give you a 34 day heads up: I am not throwing this chance away."

"That fire, that desire, you have no idea how happy I am to see that. That fire, that desire, because that's the man who said he was going to beat CM Punk last week and he did. Because the fact is, there was only one man The Rock wanted to face at Wrestlemania, and that was you. I know what this match means to you, I know, when you come out here, you salute, you run down the aisle, slide in the ring, you kiss your dog tags that have every member of your family on them, I know. I know it matters, I know what it means to you. No one in that WWE Locker Room has what you have, your passion, your will to win, your desire to be great. No one has that, except The Rock. As much as it matters to you, John, it matters so much more to me. When my music hits, and I hit the ring, and I connect with every single person here, and every single person watching at home, our bond, it matters to me, so in 34 days, you ain't getting redemption, Jack, you're getting your ass kicked."

"Strong words, but in times like this, I like to step back and quote one of the greatest philosophers of all time. Mike Tyson is known for saying, 'Imma eat his children.' It's sad that we remember him for that, because Tyson also said one of the most profound quotes I've ever heard, and every time I hear it it reminds me of you: To be the best alive, you have to beat everyone living. I have accomplished every goal, I have jumped every roadblock in my entire career, except for you. At Wrestlemania 29, your time is up, my time is now."

"Your time is now? My time is up? No, no, no. The Rock's time is just getting started. You want to quote famous athletes, I've got one for you: Winning is about heart. You've just got to have it in the right place. The man who said that was Lance Armstrong, he was full of crap and so are you."

"Well played, Rock, unbelievable confidence. I had that in my eyes a year ago. In 34 days, history does not repeat itself. I make history. In 34 days, I will become the WWE Champion."

"You just crystalized everything that is The Rock and John Cena, I'll tell you in front of the world because we're live. This is the biggest difference between you and me: You think you can beat me, I know I can beat you. And at Wrestlemania 29, in front of the world, I will beat you again. If you smell... what the Rock is cooking."

The icy delivery of his trademark catchphrase is mimicked in the stares the two of them share with each other, tinged slightly by doubt only on Cena's part.

Match Four: Jack Swagger vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan

Duggan is accompanied by Sgt. Slaughter and Dusty Rhodes. None of whom get the promo time they could use to actually make this match relevant to Wrestlemania. Swagger grabs Duggan's 2x4 and threatend everyone else with it. He plows Duggan with in, then hits Slaughter and Rhodes with it.

Match Never Started

Swagger points to the Wrestlemania sign and locks Duggan in the ankle lock.

Backstage, Josh Matthews tries to get an interview with Swagger, but Del Rio attacks and Swagger and Del Rio brawl backstage.

Match Five: Primetime Players vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No (non-title)

Ted Dibiase is ringside, apparently he told the Primetime Players he'd think about managing them if they could win. Kane and Young start off, Kane with shots, Bryan in, double axe handle, kicks, dropkick for two, O'Neill in, Bryan punches his way out of the enemy corner, O'Neill with a clothesline, stomps, Young in, stomp, O'Neill suplexes Young into Bryan, Young with elbow drops, cover for two, O'Neill with a stomp, chinlock, Bryan elbows his way out, O'Neill with punches, misses a clothesline in the corner, double tag, Kane with a punch, whip, punch to the gut, big boot, running dropkick, whip, clothesline, whip, clothesline, sidewalk slam for two as O'Neill breaks the count, throws Bryan to the apron, O'Neill charges, Bryan ducks, O'Neill falls, Bryan with a running knee, Young tries to rally, gets a chokeslam for his troubles.

Winners: Team Hell No

Ted Dibiase stuffs a hundred dollar bill in Young's mouth, which Bryan then takes.

Brodus Clay and Tensai come out for a match against 3MB, Honky Tonk Man enters the ring for a guest appearance, Slater steals the mic.

"Nobody came here to see you talk or sing, we are the rock stars of the WWE, 3MB, baby! You need to go back to Las Vegas with all the other Elvis Impersonators, you hear me?"

Match Six: Brodus Clay and Tensai vs. 3MB

Tensai and McIntyre start off, McIntyre with punches, yells at Clay, Tensai with a rollup for three.

Winners: Brodus Clay and Tensai

Honky Tonk man interrupts the celebration to dance his own way. Slater climbs back in the ring and starts to yell at Honky Tonk Man, who breaks a guitar over his head.

They then show a package from the premiere of Dead Man Down.

Match Seven: Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

Fandango grabs a mic from the stage. "No, no, that is not appropriate. I will not make my debut until you learn to pronounce my name. Fan... dan... go."

Justin Roberts: "Fan... dan... go."

Fandango: "No, you've got to fixate on the 'a's, let them roll out of your mouth."

Justin Roberts: "Fan... dan... go."

Fandango: "No, I will not let this stand. You, Justin, Kofi and everyone in attendance will remember tonight as the night you almost got to see the debut of Fandango."

Match Never Started

HHH makes his way out to address his confrontation with Brock Lesnar last week.

"Last time I stood in this ring with a microphone in my hands, it was eight days after Summerslam. Eight days after Brock Lesnar broke my arm for the second time in two months. I stood in this ring, and I said I thought I might be done. I got all choked up, all emotional, but I wondered if I was trying that hard to convince you or to convince me. Because as soon as that cast came off, I was back in the gym, busting my ass, training, but with no real goal in mind. Because I was doing my job as COO, I even cut my hair, but training every day. Waiting for a reason. Then I found myself in a hospital bed, watching an old man recover from hip surgery. But he put aside the fact that he created all of this, he put aside the fact that his daughter, my wife, stood crying beside him and the fact that my kids, his grandkids were crying as well. But I smiled, because I had found my reason. So when that crazy old man stood up out of that bed, to come and stand in this ring and challenge Paul Heyman to a fight, and Paul Heyman did what he does and turn to Brock Lesnar, I was ready. An Brock Lesnar, if you thought for one second that we were done after Summerslam, reach up to the top of your head and feel those twelve staples and realize, I was just getting started. I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to realize why I'm standing here, five weeks before the big dance. I'm calling you out. I know you're usually the guy who does the destruction, but last week, I split you wide open. So here we go: Wrestlemania, let's finish what we started. Because I'm back, the asskicker is back, the king of kings is back, and I'm calling you out for Wrestlemania. So what's it gonna be, Brock? Are you gonna show up at Wrestlemania and fight, or are you just going to sit there and bleed?"

The Shield air a backstage promo, assuring Randy Orton, The Big Show and Sheamus that they should be more worried about The Shield than who gets to challenge The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. That raises a good point, they've got all three people currently feuding with The Shield against CM Punk. Kind of writes itself.

Match Seven/Six/Five: World Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. IC Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)

Barrett with a boot, punches, whip, reversed, Del Rio hangs Barrett up in the ropes, kidney punches, hits some move but I can't tell what it was because the camera cuts to Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter on the ring apron, Del Rio tosses Barrett back in the ring, Barrett with Winds of Change for two, knee drop, elbow drop for two, chinlock, Del Rio punches his way out, whip, Barrett presses Del Rio to the apron, punch, rope choke, Del Rio locks in the Cross Arm Breaker in the ropes, break, Barrett with a boot, throws Del Rio back in the ring, knees on the apron, running big boot, throws Del Rio back in the ring, covers for two, knee drop, second rope elbow drop misses, Del Rio with a boot, clothesline, then another, backbreaker, superkick for two, Del Rio misses a clothesline, Barrett with a mule kick, pump handle slam blocked, Winds of Change reversed into the cross arm breaker for the tapout.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

They air a Youtube promo from Swagger and Colter, bitching about political correctness.

The New Age Outlaws are out! They do their trademark introduction, and prepare for a match.

Match Number Something Or Other: New Age Outlaws vs. Primo and Epico

Road Dogg and Epico start off, Dogg with punches, elbow drop, punch for Primo, Epico with a neckbreaker, stomps in the corner, Primo in, senton, knee drop, then another, Epico back in, elbow drop, snapmare, chinlock, Dogg elbows his way out, Epico with a whip, collision, both men down, dear fuck Gunn's losing hair, double tag, Gunn with punches for both opponents, Tilt-a-whirl slam for two as Epico breaks the count, Dogg throws him out of the ring, Fame-ass-er for three.

Winners: New Age Outlaws

After a commercial, the locker room opens up to wish Mae Young a happy 90th birthday. Her birthday is actually next week, but this is still pretty kickass. Mean Gene leads everyone in attendance in singing Happy Birthday, which is interrupted by CM Punk. Mae Young seems to have no idea what's going on. Is it just me or is she definitely not mentally well in her old age?

Main Event: Winner Faces The Undertaker at Wrestlemania: CM Punk vs. Sheamus vs. Randy Orton vs. The Big Show

Punk leaves the ring after the bell rings, Orton and Sheamus chase after him, prompting him to run into a Big Show headbutt, Sheamus and Show tee off, Show tosses Sheamus out of the ring, Orton chokes Show, Show with punches, Orton bails, Show follows, throws Orton into the ring post, blocked, Show goes into the ring post himself, Orton and Sheamus tee off against each other in the ring, Orton with an Orton backbreaker, Punk swoops in, covers Sheamus for two and immediately leaves, Orton with European Uppercuts to Sheamus, whip, reversed, boot to the face, Sheamus rebounds with an Irish Curse, Punk crawls in, covers for two, tries to leave, Sheamus grabs him, he and Orton toss Punk out of the ring, basically accomplishing Punk's goal for him, Show with body shots to Orton and Sheamus, commercial.

Back on, Punk snapmares Orton for two, during the commercial, Orton hit Show with the Hangman's DDT, back in, trading punches, Orton powerslams Punk, t-bone suplex for two, hangman's DDT blocked, Punk throws Orton out of the ring, Sheamus hits Punk with a battering ram for two, chops in the ropes, Show with the Eye of the Hurricane to Sheamus for two, Punk breaks the count, knees to the head, Punk with a knockout punch, Sheamus with punches to Show, Show with a whip, misses an avalanche, Sheamus with a spear in the corner, then another, knee lift, crossbody, Show with an elbow to the back, climbs to the second rope, misses an elbow drop, Sheamus with a kick, White Noise for two, Sheamus calls for a Brogue Kick, Orton powerslams Sheamus for two, Show goes for a chokeslam to Orton, grabs Sheamus, shoves Sheamus, chokeslam to Orton, Brogue Kick reversed into a chokeslam for two, Show calls for a knockout punch, misses, Sheamus with a Brogue Kick, Show lands out of the ring, Orton with an RKO to Sheamus, Punk with a kick to the back of the head, GTS to Orton for three!

Winner: CM Punk

God faces the devil. Oh, fuck yes. Punk celebrates in a restrained fashion as the gong sounds and The Undertaker makes his second entrance of the night. Raw goes off the air (early) with this staredown.