Date: 10/25	7:00 PM
Views: 2,324

Nobody else wanted to do tonight's show. That should tell you how cold this Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar feud is right now. NOBODY WANTED TO DO UNDERTAKER VS. LESNAR. So here I am, bringing you live results from the PPV taking place at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

F5 or refresh the post for the latest updates.

Oh and in case you're wondering, Ziggler/Neville/Cesaro won the pre-show match defeating Rusev/Sheamus/Barrett.

John Cena is the first to make his way to the ring in the Staples Center, for his yet-to-be-named opponent in the U.S. Open Challenge. He says he's going to skip his usual long dissertation and start the action RIGHT NOW. "You want some? Commmmme get some!"

ZEB COLTER IS HERE! He's on a motorized scooter. "Cut the music. You know John Cena, if that is your real name, let's be honest here - some people like you and some people don't. That's what I call a polarizing figure. John you're a divider, you're a seperator. I think it's time for people of all different backgrounds to come together. I think it's time for people from all countries to come together. But what I really think is it's time for that United States Title to someone who will do more with it than you ever have. I want to introduce you to your opponent, and the next champion. Ladies and gentlemen I introduce to you... ALBERTO DEL RIO!!"

Business just picked up.

* John Cena {C} vs. Alberto Del Rio (United States Title Match)

You are NOT hallucinating. The bidding war is over, WWE has won, and ALBERTO DEL RIO IS BACK. I'm suddenly a LOT more interested in this also-ran PPV than I was 5 minutes ago. Lilian Garcia gives the big match introduction, the referee presents the title to the crowd, the bell rings, and our championship match to open Hell in a Cell is underway!

The match begins with a test of strength, which Cena turns into a shoulder tackle, and Del Rio stops to regroup. Michael Cole is putting over all his accodolades as Zeb Colter sits on his scooter at ringside watching. Del Rio grabs a headlock and Cena goes down to one knee, stands up, criss cross leap frog and Del Rio gives Cena a kick to the leg which causes him to fall out of the ring and come back in limping a little. The L.A. crowd is split 50/50 between Cena and Del Rio.

Del Rio knocks Cena down and goes to work on Cena's left arm, softening it up for the armbar, and he kicks him in the leg again before missing a dive into Cena's neck on the ropes and going splat on the floor outside. Cena goes out to throw him back in and gets hit with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for his trouble. Del Rio stomps on his head and pounds on his chest as the crowd pops. Del Rio mocks Cena and begs him to stand up, then jumps off the top rope to hammer him for a near fall. A chinlock follows. Del Rio continues to soften Cena up. Kick to the gut, suplex blocked, Cena hits one of his own. Enzuiguri by Del Rio for a near fall.

Del Rio kicks Cena, goes to the top rope, begs Cena to get up and hammers him again for a near fall. He poses on one knee with his fist raised seeking the people's approval, and gets them chanting SI! SI! SI! with him. Cena cuts him off before he can even think about attempting an armbreaker. Zeb Colter looks on with... concern? His face is hard to read tonight. Maybe he's let the beard grow out too much. He looks like Santa Colter. Zeb Claus? Anyway Cena starts his prototypical comeback, five moves of doom, you can't see me, Five Knuckle Shuffle BS. He goes for the AA but Del Rio counters to the backstabber and kicks him in the face, covering him for three! ALBERTO DEL RIO IS THE NEW U.S. CHAMPION. Zeb Colter raises his hand in victory as the crowd celebrates, then follows him up the ramp in his power scooter. Del Rio stops at the top of the ramp to pose with the belt and we switch to a camera with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon all smiles.

Seth Rollins comes in and starts bragging about how great he is. Corporate Kane interrupts him and says he's here to apologize for breaking the rules two weeks ago. Seth Rollins yells at him to cut the crap, Corporate Kane and Demon Kane are the same person. Kane says that you're a spoiled little... and Triple H interrupts them both. Triple H says it's a private meeting, your presence isn't required. Kane puts on a goofy happy face and says "Good luck!!" Then he scowls. "YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT."

The Hell in a Cell cage is being lowered as we speak.

* Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt inside the Hell in a Cell cage

Is it a measure of how little I cared about this match that I didn't realize it was HIAC stip? I thought the only actual HIAC match during the HIAC PPV was going to be Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. The really sad part is I don't even think this match is going to blow off the feud between these two. Its been going on forever and will continue to go on forever. The opening bell comes just a little over a half hour since we went live on WWE Network. Reigns is in control early, taking Wyatt around the ring for blows, until a kick to the gut and a headbutt get Wyatt back in. Reigns responds by flying off the ropes and then suplexing Wyatt across the ring. Lil' Naitch is looking on at the carnage waiting for a pinfall or submission - the only ways that you can win in this "demonic structure."

Wyatt crawls to the ropes, Reigns goes for the drive-by, Wyatt rolls out of the way, but Reigns decks him with it anyway - planting his face on the apron. Reigns picks him up and runs Wyatt head first into the fence surrounding the ring, bounces his head off the steel steps, then runs him to the opposite side for more. Reigns gets back in the ring, Wyatt tries to pull him out, Reigns gives him a headbutt, and Wyatt responds with a kendo stick to the face he found under the ring. Wyatt lays into Reigns' back with the stick, then points at him and blows a kiss to the crowd before whacking him with it again. For you first time WWE viewers (do those people still exist) anything is legal in the HIAC stip - there are no disqualifications of any kind. It's essentially a street fight that you can't leave. It's like MMA but with less rules (eye gouging and groin shots are at least illegal there).

20 minutes later I'm still in shock that Alberto Del Rio is back in WWE. Obviously they gave him the right amount of money to swallow his pride. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that the guy who made racist jokes to him in catering was released from his WWE duties a long time ago too. Easier to come back when the guy you got fired for slapping was himself fired.

Back to the HIAC match. Bray Wyatt has stuck a steel chair into the cage fence by the legs. Wyatt and Reigns brawl on the outside until Wyatt throws Reigns through his kendo stick, breaking it (almost) clean in half. Wyatt pulls him up to punch him in the back of the head. Reigns responds with uppercuts and then rams Wyatt face first into the chair he set up. Wyatt pulls himself up laughing. Reigns rams him into the chain link fence again and goes looking under the ring for a few weapons of his own, coming up with double kendo sticks. Wyatt sees them and starts backing away but NOT FAST ENOUGH. Reigns takes both in one hand like a baseball bat for a few big league swings.

That wasn't good enough. Roman Reigns pulls a table out and throws it into the ring. He gets a smirk on his face and says "No! One isn't enough." He pulls out a SECOND table and props it up at ringside. Reigns hits another drive-by. Reigns puts Wyatt on the apron next to the table, Wyatt headbutts his way out, and Wyatt chokeslams Reigns through his own table!

The fans chant "This is awesome" as Wyatt rolls Reigns back into the ring for a near fall, then he hits a back senton for another near fall. Reigns rolls out, Wyatt hits a three point stance on the outside, then charges until he comes up and SPLATS Reigns into the fence. Now we have dueling chants of LET'S GO RO-MAN and RO-MAN SUCKS. Wyatt lifts him back into the ring and does his own version of a driveby with fists instead of feet. Wyatt lifts up the apron and pulls out yet ANOTHER table. He rolls back into the ring to give Reigns some knees to the head, then picks up the table still in the ring to prop it up in front of Reigns, who is struggling to his feet. Wyatt yanks him up, sets him on the top rope, and climbs up in front of him. Wyatt hooks the head, pauses for dramatic effect, goes for the suplex and Reigns blocks it. Reigns hits headbutts, Wyatt teeters on the ropes, Reigns jumps down and picks him up to POWERBOMB him through the table for a near fall.

Sister Abigail blocked for a near fall. Superman Punch for 2. Wyatt rolls outside to the apron and Reigns gives chase. They battle on the apron until Reigns SPEARS Wyatt through the table that was left on the outside. Reigns may have actually gotten the worst of that - Wyatt got to break the table, but Reigns' head appeared to smack into the part that DIDN'T break. He gets up though and throws Wyatt into the ring, crawling on top for a near fall. Reigns goes for a spear, gets a boot instead, Sister Abigail connects and Roman Reigns kicks out before three! Wyatt cackles and giggles at his own failure, falling over himself like a drunken fool as he goes to get a broken kendo stick and whip Reigns with it. He puts the sticks into the turnbuckles and goes to pull Reigns up.

Befoe Wyatt can drive Reigns into the sticks, Wyatt blocks it, gives him a taste of his own medicine by driving Wyatt into them, HITS AN EMPHATIC SPEAR FOR 3 and the match is over. ROMAN REIGNS WINS THE HELL IN A CELL MATCH.

* The New Day {C} vs. The Dudley Boyz for the WWE Tag Team Titles

This match opens with a long promo from Kofi Kingston and Big E lamenting the fact that their partner Xavier Woods is not here, holding up his busted trombone in his honor, and saying it's a SAD day... as SAD AS THE LAKERS. Anyway after all of these hijinks and hullabaloo the Dudley Boyz finally make their way down to the ring and the match begins 6 minutes past the top of the hour. The Dudleyz are in control for the first couple of minutes, which forces the champions to go outside and regroup, as we get a shot of the trashed trombone laying on the announce table.

New Day get the heat for a while, Dudley Boyz get the comeback for the WHASSUP spot, Kofi Kingston breaks up it up with a dropkick, then tosses the broken trombone to Bubba Ray and sells like he's been hit with it. The ref acts like he's going to disqualify them, Bubba begs himm to poll the crowd, he realizes they didn't do it and changes his mind. Bubba breaks the Trombone and throws both halves away. Dudley Boyz hit a near fall on Kingston, they get ready for a 3D, Big E attacks with the trombone that Bubba just split in two, Kofi Kingston hits a distracted Bubba with Trouble In Paradise, and THE NEW DAY RETAIN.

* Charlotte {C} vs. Nikki Bella (WWE Divas Title)

Charlotte allegedly hurts her back in this match. Nikki Bella allegedly hurts her knee in this match. Nikki tries to suplex Charlotte off the top rope but Charlotte flips over her and smashes Nikki's head into the mat, then hits her with a spear, then applies the Figure 8 leglock. Nikki Bella flails around trying to get to the ropes, reverses it, and forces Charlotte to break the hold. Nikki pulls down the ropes when Charlotte charges causing her to spill to the floor. Nikki picks her up Alabama slams-her back first into the apron. She brings Charlotte into the ring for a Rack Attack but Charlotte counters into a Figure 8 and bridges to add extra leverage and NIKKI TAPS OUT - CHARLOTTE RETAINS.

Dean Ambrose shows up to congratulate Roman Reigns on his big win, give him a fist bump, and talk about them going out for a post-match celebration. That's really all there is to it. Footage of the celebrities in the crowd (Bill Simmons, Seth Green) follows along with Jerry Lawler thanking Shinedown for "Cut the Cord"

* Seth Rollins {C} vs. Kane for the WWE Heavyweight Championship

The bell rings at about 15 minutes before the top of the hour. Seth kicks off the match by repeatedly screaming "I'm not afraid of you!" in Kane's face. Kane knocks him outside and starts to disassemble the announce table. He ends up not using it, deciding instead to neat him up on the outside and flapjack him on the inside, saving a big announce table spot for later in the match. Kane goes top rope and Seth Rollins knocks him off and then snaps his neck off the turnbuckle while he's selling a turnbuckle to the cajones. Kane gets up slowly and Rollins does a flying dive over the ropes, with a leg chopping Kane right on the neck. Rollins puts Kane back on the apron and pounds him in the throat.

Rollins goes for a near fall far too early in the match to work, so he puts Kane's neck on the apron and applies the pressure some more, then hits a neckbreaker for 1.5. Rollins hits a few moves too many and Kane gets the right hand up as Rollins comes off the top ropes. Rollins continues the beatdown though when Kane charges and winds up catching his leg in the turnbuckle ropes, and Rollins amps it up by tying him into the ropes to continue the beating before screaming in his face "You are just a man!" Rollins charges again and Kane drops him with one hand. Rollins gets the heat back by tripping him face first into the turnbuckle, but Kane punches him in the face when he goes top rope. Kane climbs up in front of him and hits a superplex to the middle of the ring! It knocks the wind out of both men.

Kane recovers and gets his first near fall in a while. He climbs the ropes, Seth goes up to the second rope to try and cut him off, Kane throws him off and jumps off the top rope with a pinch. Kane holds up one gloves hand and goes for the chokeslam, but Rollins knocks Kane's hand away and kicks him in the head. Rollins goes for a Pedigree and it's blocked, but Kane goes for the chokeslam and gets somewhere between 2.5 and a 3. He signals for a Tombstone Piledriver, Rollins narrowly escapes and falls out of the ring in front of the announce tables. He's whipped back first into the apron and slammed on top of the WWE announcer table. (It was the Spanish announce table he took apart earlier - sorry.) He throws him right into Bradshaw, Lawler and Cole, climbs up for a chokeslam, Rollins slips down and through his legs and powerbombs Kane into the Spanish announce table! The table DOESN'T break. That probably hurts more than if it had.

Once they get back in the ring (beating a ten count) Seth jumps off the ropes twice for knees to the face of Kane. Rollins kicks him in the face twice in a superkick-esque manner, goes up the ropes and hits a big frogsplash for 2.9! Rollins is pissed off that he didn't put Kane away with that move. He goes to pick Kane up, Kane sticks a hand up for the chokeslam, Rollins kicks it away and hits the Pedigree. 1-2-3 SETH ROLLINS RETAINS. That means Corporate Kane just lost his job.

* Kevin Owens {C} vs. Ryback for the Intercontinental Title

Sorry, had to take a bathroom break. It was that quick of a match though - it was over before I got back. Kevin Owens retains via pop-up powerbomb.

* Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar - Hell in a Cell match

Brock Lesnar is the first man to make his way down to the Cell at 10:19 PM ET. Lilian Garcia reads off the stipulations as Lesnar and his advocate Paul Heyman walk around the cage inspecting it from every side. Lil' Naitch opens the door and Lesnar sprints into the ring then sprints back and forth across the ring, bouncing on the balls of his feet, ready for a fight RIGHT NOW. Undertaker begins his long entrance to the ring at 10:21 PM ET. Now you can tell why they rushed through the Owens vs. Ryback match so fast. They knew it wasn't going to be until about 25 after that they got everybody inside HIAC and got it locked shut, which leaves them 25 minutes most for a good match, UNLESS they decide to try and push it all the way to the top of the hour. Who knows, they just might.

In fact I missed the mark - we didn't even get the opening bell until 10:26 ET. Lesnar is in control early with punches, knees, and spears to the gut. Undertaker reverses with a whip and clotheslines Lesnar in the corner, then works a few punches of his own. Lesnar breaks free with a knee to the gut and hammers Taker's back. Lesnar goes for a suplex and Taker drops down to counter, sending Lesnar spilling through the ropes. They go outside and brawl between the apron and the cage - there's barely enough room for these two heavyweights to maneuver out there. Somewhere in this melee Lesnar has already been busted open and blood is gushing from the top of his head. Undertaker grabs a chair, throws it into the ring, and throws Lesnar into the ring following it. Lesnar counters with a double leg, slamming Lesnar to the canvas, then slamming the chair into his back.

Blood continues to pour from Lesnar's head as a doctor hits the ring to check on the cut. He cleans it up, Lesnar says he's fine, and the match continues, with Undertaker trying to get his hands up for the chair shots. Cole points out that as hard as Lesnar swings a chair, you could break your hands just trying to block it. Smart little bit of kayfabe from him. Lesnar and Taker brawl on the outside and Lesnar whips Taker into the fence, then takes off his right glove so he can do some bare knuckle brawling. Undertaker gets the upperhand when it spills back into the ring and smashes the chair into Lesnar's throat. Taker is now bleeding too.

Undertaker stretches Lesnar out over hisknee to drive elbows into his head, then fishhooks his nose, causing Lesnar to growl in pain. Taker tries to whip Lesnar around the ring and Lesnar blocks it and responds with a suplex. Taker tries to stand and trade punches and Lesnar ducks under him for ANOTHER suplex. He yells Suplex City BITCH at Taker and hits a third. Taker staggers to his feet, LESNAR HITS THE F5, and Undertaker KICKS OUT. The doctor comes in to check on both men. Lesnar sends the doctor flying (which the camera man missed completely) and hits ANOTHER F5 for a near fall. Lesnar disassembles the steel steps and throws the top half into the ring, bashes Taker in the head with it, and UNDERTAKER KICKS OUT AGAIN.

Lesnar tries to go for the steps again, misses, and Undertaker manages to use them against Lesnar. Both men flail around on the ground and Undertaker managers to lock on Hell's Gate with his legs as Lesnar signals like he might tap out. Lesnar breaks free and goes for some MMA style ground and pound on Undertaker. For reasons I can't really fathom right now Lesnar is ripping the ring canvas apart. Undertaker does his old school sit up in the middle of it. Undertaker gives him A CHOKESLAM ONTO THE EXPOSED BOARDS OF THE RING. Lesnar's own plan has backfired!

Lesnar stumbles to his feet, Undertaker picks him up, hits the Tombstone Piledriver and covers his hands on his chest but LESNAR KICKS OUT. Undertaker slashes his throat when he gets back to his feet but LESNAR HITS A LOW BLOW, which is perfectly legal in HIAC. LESNAR HITS F5 ONTO THE EXPOSED BOARDS AND GETS A THREE COUNT. BROCK LESNAR WINS THE FINAL MATCH OF THE SERIES.

That's it - that's the end - they immediately raise the cage. 15 minutes of time left. I guess they decided not to go long after all. It was about 18 minutes bell to bell though, which is just slightly longer than a 3 round MMA match if you count the one minute breaks between rounds. Heyman congratulates Lesnar and helps him make his way to the back, although he has to fall to one knee and rest for a moment on the entrance ramp. The crowd chants THANK YOU TAKER as he pulls himself to his feet.

THE SHOW ISN'T OVER YET - Bray Wyatt and the Wyatt Family are making their way down to the ring. Undertaker pulls the straps down and prepares for a fight as Wyatt, Strowman, Rowan and Harper surround the ring on all sides. Undertaker tries to fight back but the numbers game is too much and they all stomp a mudhole in Taker. Wyatt orders them to pull Undertaker back up to his feet and Wyatt starts laying into him with punches as the crowd at the Staples Center boos. Once he crumbles into a heap Wyatt slashes his own throat and laughs. Under Wyatt's orders the crew carry Undertaker away up the ramp, the lights go down, and Hell in a Cell finally comes to an end.