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WWE - Ian Clark's First Raw Recap of 2017 w/ GOLDBERG


Date: 01/02 7:00 PM
Views: 1,559
WWE Raw Logo

Written by Ian Clark

Tonight's Raw features some pretty big action. Goldberg returns for the first time since the Raw after Survivor Series. Will The Beast, or more likely his advocate, be there to respond? And if so, what do they have in store for him? Elsewhere on the card, Braun Strowman and Sami Zayn face off in a Last Man Standing match with the eyes of the world on both wrestlers, while Bayley continues to push for a title match against Charlotte. It's a can't miss show and I'll be bringing you all of the live updates, so press F5 or refresh as often as you want!

Raw begins with Mick Foley in the ring, rocking a newer, shorter hairdo. "Hello everyone, and welcome to Monday Night Raw! Like all of you, I had a few New Years Resolutions, one was to show off a bold new look in front of everyone, the other was to write down the name of the city I'm in on my hand so I never forget the name of the city I'm in, and that takes bold effect, right here in Jacksonv-- Tampa, Florida! My other New Years Resolution came into effect late last year, to make sure that Kevin Owens defended his Universal Championship against Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble on his own. And so I placed his best friend in a shark cage in what I thought was a pretty cagey move."

JeriKO hit the ring.

Owens: "You think that's funny, Foley? You think it's funny to take my best friend and hang him up there like a... what was it you said?"

Chris: "A sexy piñata."

Owens: "Like a piñata."

Chris: "Sexy piñata."

Owens: "You think it's funny to cage him like an animal?"

Chris: "You know what's funny? Your rampant abuses of power. It's worse than your new fancy-pants hairdo, man."

Owens: "Your abuse of power. Let's look at Exhibit A, that's the first letter of the alphabet, you probably didn't know that. You put me in a match against Roman Reigns when I've already beaten Roman Reigns."

Chris: "Exhibit B, second letter of the alphabet, Rollins Pedigrees me in the parking lot, like a barbarian, you reward him, but I pull off one of the greatest strategic moves helping Kevin Owens retain our Universal Championship, and you want to lock me in here, stick me in the cage of Jericho, lock me in, maaaaan!"

Owens: "It's not going to happen. Not going to happen."

Mick: "You're right, I've made some mistakes. But I'm going to start to fix them now. You see, we always hear about the Kevin Owens show, but I've never actually seen the Kevin Owens show. So tonight, we're going to see what kind of a talk show host you are, when we see the first ever Kevin Owens show, with your guest, Goldberg!"

Owens: "You know what? That's great. It's a little weird that it's my show but you pick my first guest, but we actually have a few questions for ol' Bill."

Chris: "Like where's he been for ten years?"

Owens: "And who cares where he's been for ten years? And we have a few questions for you. Like what makes you think it's okay to abuse your power like that?"

Stephanie comes out. "I hate to burst your bubble, Kev, but Mick is not abusing his power. He has every right to put you in that match, and he has every right to put Jericho in the shark cage. Although I wish you had consulted with me first."

Mick: "And I wish you'd consulted with me before you made the Last Man Standing Match between Braun Strowman and Sami Zayn."

Steph: "Well I would have consulted with you, but you wanted to be home for the holidays. But we are usually on the same page, so I know you're going to support the match I'm about to make. Tonight, Roman Reigns will defend the United States Championship, and to ensure that there must be a winner, if Roman loses by disqualification or countout, he will lose the United States Championship."

Chris: "I like what you're saying. But you know what? Seth Rollins, that stupid idiot, he wants to get all in my business, you should ban him from ringside!"

Owens: "Yeah, we shouldn't have to put up with that, we're national treasures!"

Stephanie: "Interesting thing to say."

Mick: "If you're going to ban anyone from ringside, it should be Chris Jericho!"

Steph: "He's in the match."

Mick: "Kevin Owens! Because I'm sick of you two making a mockery out of the Universal Championship and I'm sick of the two of you making a mockery out of Monday Night Raw!"

Steph: "Yeah, you know what? I'm sick of all of you. And I'm horrified that last week is the first week ever that Smackdown Live beat Raw in the ratings! Everyone acts like Smackdown is some kind of land of opportunity, Raw is the land of opportunity! You want Seth Rollins to be banned from ringside? Well you'll have a chance to make that happen tonight, when you go one on one with Seth Rollins, with the loser banned from ringside. Chris, go backstage and get ready for your match because it will take place later tonight. And Kev, stay right here, because your match is next!"

Match One: Seth Rollins vs. Universal Champion Kevin Owens (non-title) (loser banned from ringside for US Title Match)

Rollins ducks a clothesline, hits punches, Owens bails, Rollins with a suicide dive, rolls him back into the ring, Owens bails again, Rollins hits another suicide dive, chop, Owens rolls back into the ring, Rollins pulls him out of the ring, trading chops on the floor, Rollins with punches, Owens with a punch, tosses him into the barricade, rolls him into the ring, stomps, chop, Rollins with chops in the corner, Owens with a punch, punch to the back, Rollins with a boot, punch, snapmare, running kick for one, arm wrench, shoulder breaker, Owens with a punch, kick to the back, stomp, chop, chop in the corner, whip, charges, Rollins with a boot, Blockbuster for two, commercial.

Back on air, Owens has Rollins in a chinlock, tosses him down, running senton for two, stomp, stomp to the gut, kick to the face, running punt to the gut, punch, Rollins with punches, whip, Owens holds on, presses Rollins to the floor, knocks him off the apron, follows to the floor, misses a cannonball into the barricade, both men roll back into the ring at 6, Owens with a chop, trading punches, Owens with a boot to the gut, Rollins with more punches, Owens with a boot to the leg, Rollins with a kick, Owens goes for a Pop-Up Powerbomb, reversed into an enziguri, running forearm in the corner, another, Owens with a clothesline in the corner, cannonball, reversed into an STO into the second turnbuckle, Slingblade, spin kick to the gut, Pedigree, blocked into a back body drop, Rollins lands on his feet, tosses Owens to the floor, suicide dive, tosses Owens into the timekeeper's area, punches, rolls back into the ring, back to the floor, Owens blasts him with the ring bell.

Winner by DQ: Seth Rollins

Rollins goes for a Pedigree, Owens escapes and retreats.

Match Two: Cesaro vs. Karl Anderson

Sheamus is on commentary.

Lockup, Cesaro with a side headlock, Anderson whips his way out, Cesaro with a side headlock, Anderson whips his way out, clothesline, monkey flip, Cesaro lands on his feet, Anderson with an arm drag, mutual kip up, Anderson goes for a kick, blocked, Cesaro with a European uppercut, another, whip to the corner, reversed, Anderson tosses him to the adjacent corner, blocked, Cesaro tosses him to the corner, boot to the gut, gutwrench suplex for one, running European uppercut to the back of the head for one, Anderson presses him to the apron, Cesaro with a boot, distracted by Gallows, Anderson with a boot to the face, commercial.

Back on air, Cesaro elbows out of a chinlock, Anderson goes for a suplex, reversed into a suplex, Cesaro with a European uppercut, another, whip, misses a European uppercut, Anderson with an enziguri for two, clothesline for two, chinlock, Cesaro whips to the corner, European uppercut to the back of the head, European uppercuts in the corner, whip, reversed, Cesaro parlays into a springboard crossbody for two, Cesaro Swing, blocked by a Gallows distraction, Sheamus leaves the table and hits the ringside area, Anderson with a boot for two, fireman's carry, blocked, Cesaro with a springboard corkscrew European uppercut for two, Neutralizer, blocked, goes for a Sharpshooter, blocked, Anderson with boots, running knee, whip to the corner, Cesaro presses him to the top rope, dropkick, European uppercut for two, superplex, Gallows distracts, Sheamus pulls him off the apron, he holds the ropes on the way down, crotching Cesaro, Anderson with a top rope neckbreaker for three.

Winner: Karl Anderson

They show a video package for Braun Strowman.

After a commercial, they show a video package for Goldberg in the Royal Rumble.

Match Three: Last Man Standing Match: Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman

No matter what, this match makes a star. If they do their job, this match makes two.

Sami's rocking a shiner.

Sami ducks a clothesline and hits a punch, ducks a clothesline, hits a flurry, hits the floor, Strowman gives chase, Sami rushes to the timekeeper's area, comes up with a kendo stick, beats him on the floor, then into the ring, Strowman grabs the stick and snaps it, then tosses Zayn across the ring, Zayn lands on the floor, Strowman goes after him, Zayn with another stick, beats him all over the floor, Strowman grabs the stick, Sami runs, Strowman gives chase, Sami with a moonsault from the barricade, Strowman catches him and hits a powerslam, Zayn is up at 6, Strowman charges, Zayn ducks, Strowman hits the ring post, Zayn tosses him into the post again, then the adjacent post, DDT through the ropes, reversed with a punch, Zayn up at 6, rolls into the ring, Strowman hits an avalanche, forearm to the face, Sami up at 3, Strowman hits a clothesline, Sami up at 3, Strowman hits a shoulder tackle, Sami up at 3, Strowman with a whip, Sami with a clothesline, Strowman with a tackle, Sami up at 7 on the floor, stumbles and falls again, Strowman heads out after him, commercial.

Back on air, Strowman tosses Zayn off the stage, drags him to his feet, tosses him into the announce table, punch, chops, Zayn wanders off, grabs a production cart, Strowman tosses it into him, drags him up, tosses him to the backstage area, Zayn clubs him with a lead pipe, then again, a third time Strowman catches the pipe, Zayn tosses him into a pile of carts, Strowman tosses him on top of one, grabs a case, tosses it, misses, Zayn with a boot, clothesline from the top of the case, chair to the back, they wander back into the arena, Zayn with another chair shot, then another, goes for another, Strowman grabs him by the throat and tosses him onto the stage, Zayn crawls toward the chair, Strowman stands on it, tosses him into the lower 'Tron, then a second time, goes for a powerslam, blocked, Zayn with a chair to the gut, chair to the side, chair to the back, goes for a shot to the face, Strowman catches it, Zayn with a Helluva Kick, crossbody knocking Strowman off the stage, the ref counts for both men, Zayn to his feet at 3, Strowman to his feet at 5, Zayn grabs a chair, Strowman starts to walk off, Zayn with a chair to the back, Strowman to his feet, grabs the chair, tosses Zayn all the way down the ramp by the chair, hits a clothesline, pulls Zayn to his feet, running powerslam on the floor, Zayn to his feet at 9, Strowman with knees, Sami crumples, Strowman with crossface punches, interrupts the count at 6 as Zayn starts to stir, hits another running powerslam, the ref counts to 10.

Winner: Braun Strowman

Whatever they do next with Zayn could be the difference between greatness and mediocrity. Strowman looks like an absolute beast, and that was the best David vs. Goliath-style match in years.

Mick Foley comes to ringside with a stretcher. He sets Zayn on it, then Strowman knocks the stretcher over and slams Zayn into the barricade.

They show a recap of the Gentlemen's Duel from 205 Live, then cut backstage to Jack Gallagher teaching New Day how to wield an umbrella to mixed success.

The New Day come out for a promo.

Woods: "Now, overall, 2016 was a pretty good year for your boys, The New Day. But granted, there were definitely some ups and downs."

E: "Back and forths."

Kofi: "Side to side. But in the course of a relatively successful year--"

Woods: "We became your WWE World Tag Team Champions!"

E: "And to get our year off right, The New Day have officially dipped our sticks in the 2017 Royal Rumble Match!"

Woods: "As in, we're in it!"

Kofi: "And what would a new year be without some New Years Resolutions?"

Voice: "Oh, New Day! Don't you dare be sour! Clap for your world-famous Titus Brand and feel the power!"

Titus comes out. "Now, in order to reach all your 2017 goals, I know exactly what you need: a new member of The New Day. Now, I know in your head, you're all wondering, who? Who? Well look no further than the Titus brand, baby! I mean, hear me out now, hear me out. Y'all know I got rhythm. Check me out. New! Day rocks! New! Day rocks! Whew! Almost got carried away. Now, not only do I have rhythm, I also exhibit some musical talents."

Woods: "Whoa, no one touches my girl but me."

Titus: "Okay, I can respect Francesca. That's why I always come with a backup."

Titus pulls out a whistle and does the New Day rhythm with it.

E: "It's okay, Titus, we already know you blow."

Titus: "Hear me out, though, imagine my face on a box of Booty-Os."

Woods: "You have to understand, we would all rather see you on the back of a milk carton. Remember, we're selling a breakfast cereal. Who would want to wake up, stretch the sleep out of your eyes, and look at that?"

Titus: "That's strong words coming from the weak link in The New Day. Who? You! You!"

Woods: "How about you and I have a match, and I show you how much of a weak link I am."

Titus punches him. "You want a match? You got it. Get ready, let's get a referee out here."

Match Four: Titus O'Neil vs. Xavier Woods

Woods opens with a kick, boots, Titus with a knee, Woods with a kick, another, Titus with a boot, punches in the corner, body slam for one, chinlock, adds in an armbar, Woods to his feet, Titus tosses him down, stands on him for one, chinlock, adds in an armbar, wrenches the face, goes back to the chinlock, Woods punches his way out, Titus with a knee, whip, Woods with a boot, clothesline, kick to the gut, kick to the face, Titus tosses him to the apron, Woods with a swinging kick, Titus charges, Woods sends him to the floor, suicide senton, rolls Titus back into the ring for two, goes up top, crossbody, reversed into a double gutbreaker, Titus tosses Woods forward to the mat, drags him up, gutbreaker, reversed into a sunset flip for three.

Winner: Xavier Woods

The New Day come over to celebrate with Woods.

Backstage, Bayley walks into Stephanie McMahon's office and asks why she let Dana be the referee. Stephanie explains that Charlotte has very powerful attourneys, but says that she never wanted Bayley on Raw because she doesn't see it, and Charlotte is the face of the Women's division, while Bayley is ordinary. Bayley says she belongs here regardless, and nothing is going to stop her from achieving her dreams. Stephanie commends her confidence, then gives her a #1 Contender's match for a shot at the Royal Rumble, against Nia Jax.

Cedric Alexander and Alicia Fox are backstage, Noam Dar walks in, says he wants a fresh start, and apologizes. Cedric says he owes Fox an apology, Dar calls her sweet cheeks.

Match Five: Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak

Handshake, Gulak twists an arm, Cedric flips out, breaks, head scissors, dropkick for one, European uppercut, Gulak with a shove, tackle, body slam into the ropes, stomps, punches in the corner, whip, back body drop for one, octopus stretch, Alexander gets the ropes, forces a break, punch, chop, Cedric with punches, chops, Gulak with a kick in the gut, Cedric floats over, mixed strikes, springboard handstand kick to the face, Neese gets up on the apron, Fox pulls her down, Cedric yells at Neese, Gulak with a rollup for three.

Winner: Drew Gulak

Match Six: United States Championship: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Chris Jericho (No Champion's Advantage)

Jericho opens with punches, punches in the corner, knees in the corner, whip, Reigns with a clothesline, chop, whip, Jericho with a boot, Reigns with a Samoan Drop for two, whip to the corner, Jericho with a boot, second turnbuckle, missile dropkick for two, knee choke in the ropes, punch to the back of the head, leaps on his back, Reigns dodges, hits a clothesline, then another, whip, reversed, Reigns with a leaping clothesline, charges in the corner, Jericho presses him to the apron, springboard dropkick, baseball slide, Reigns shrugs it off and hits a punch, Superman Punch, Jericho dodges and Reigns hits the ring post, Jericho slides back in the ring and lets the ref count, he beats the count at 9, Jericho with stomps, commercial.

Back on air, Jericho has Reigns in a chinlock, Reigns punches his way out, Jericho with a knee lift, slaps Reigns to his feet, Reigns with punches, whip to the corner, Jericho with a boot, bulldog, blocked as Reigns dumps him into the corner, clotheslines to the back of the head, protoplex for two, Superman Punch, blocked with an elbow, Lionsault, blocked with knees, spear, blocked with a boot, Codebreaker, reversed into a powerbomb, reversed into a hurricanrana, Jericho transitions into the Walls of Jericho, Reigns eventually reverses into a rollup for two, Jericho with a boot, Reigns tosses him to the apron, Jericho goes up top, leaps, Reigns hits him with a Superman Punch for two, spear, reversed into the Walls of Jericho, blocked, Reigns charges in the corner, Jericho tosses him into the ring post, pulls the cover off of the turnbuckle, slides to the floor, grabs the IC Title while the ref puts the pad back on, tosses it to Reigns, falls on the mat, the ref confronts Reigns about it, Jericho with a Codebreaker for two, boots, stomps in the corner, charges, Reigns dodges, spear for three.

Winner and STILL US Champion: Roman Reigns

If you were just going to have Reigns retain, what was even the fucking point of this match? The exact same goddamn match we've had several times already. This is exactly why Smackdown is winning in the ratings.

Match Seven: Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins

Kendrick offers a handshake, Perkins declines, Kendrick with punches, suplex, blocked, Perkins with a springboard crossbody for two, inverted atomic drop, chops, kick for two, European uppercut, Kendrick whips Perkins into the top rope for two, bridging German for two, armbar, Perkins escapes with a kick, kick from the corner, goes up top, Kendrick crotches, Perkins slinks down, super hurricanrana, blocks a boot, Kendrick tosses him into the turnbuckle, Sliced Bread, reversed into a Detonation Kick, Kneebar for the tapout.

Winner: TJ Perkins

Emmalina is still premiering soon.

Match Eight: Rusev and Jinder Mahal vs. Big Cass

Enzo is still in his wheelchair. "My name is Enzo Amore, and I am a certified G and a bona fide stud, and you can't teach that! And this right here, this is Big Cass, and he's seven foot tall, and you can't teach that! Bada boom, realest guys in the room, how you doin'?"

"As you can see, Enzo cannot fight tonight. But I can. And I'm gonna drop the both of you myself. And prove that there's only ONE word to describe you, and I'm gonna spell it out for you! S-A-W-F-T, SAWFT!"

Mahal starts, lockup, Cass presses him to the corner, punch, more punches, clothesline in the adjacent corner, punch, another punch, whip, Mahal with a boot, Rusev in, Cass punches down both men, big boot to Rusev, Mahal goes after Enzo, Cass follows after him, Rusev goes for a kick, Cass catches him, punches Mahal off the apron, Rusev with a big boot for three.

Winners: Rusev and Jinder Mahal

Tomorrow night on 205 Live, Tajiri's return is confirmed, as is TJ Perkins vs. Neville.

Match Nine: #1 Contender's Match: Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Charlotte is on commentary.

Bayley tries to shoot the waist, Nia tosses her down, Bayley with a side headlock, Nia tosses her to the corner, Bayley floats over, Nia with a gut breaker, avalanche, whip, Nia with a clothesline, tosses her down, sonic ass attack, cover for two, headbutt, another, a third, Million Dollar Dream, drags Bayley to her feet, tosses her from side to side, Bayley stomps Nia's feet to escape, Nia goes for a body slam, Bayley blocks, shoves her to the corner, Nia goes for an avalanche, Bayley tosses her into the ring post, Nia charges again, Bayley with a knee, Nia tosses her from the ropes, drops a pair of elbows, leg drop, climbs to the second rope, Sasha Banks comes out in a knee brace, Bayley hits a Bayley to Belly Superplex for three!

Winner: Bayley

Undertaker and Shawn Michaels are official for Raw next week, albeit with Undertaker as a "rumour".

JeriKO hit the ring for the first edition of the Kevin Owens Show. There's a table set up with two office chairs, a lawn chair across from it, and a dude with the Kevin Owens Show sign on his face. Jericho and Owens sit down in the office chairs.

Owens: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the very first edition of the Kevin Owens Show! Now, earlier tonight, Seth Rollins may have been able to prevent me from interfering in the title match, and that stupid idiot Roman Reigns may have stopped us from coming out here as both the Universal and the United States Champion, but it doesn't matter, because once again, Team Kevin and Chris, or Team Chris and Kevin, main event Raw once again. Now, my first guest needs no introduction, a man who dominated the Attitude Era, a man so successful that all he needs is to stand in the middle of the ring and everyone chants his name, Chris Jericho!"

The crowd boos.

Jericho: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. A few minutes ago, all of you were chanting 'Goldberg'. You wanna see Goldberg? You really wanna see Goldberg? Well you know what happens when you chant the name Goldberg during the Kevin Owens show?"

Owens: "Take centre stage for this."

Jericho: "Tampa Bay, you just made the list!"

Owens: "And of course, all the stupid idiots cheer that. That was a great move, you deserve that. But without further ado, let's bring out--"

Chris: "If I may interrupt the host for one second, I have a bombshell announcement. A story so big that it could only break on the first-ever Kevin Owens Show!"

"Our first ever show and we already have a bombshell."

"Well, we already know that the first two entries in the Royal Rumble are Brock Lesnar and our guest tonight, Goldberg. But entry #3 is Chris Jericho!"

"I thought you were announcing you got a new car or something. You're in the Royal Rumble? What happens if you win? We have to go to Wrestlemania and face each other."

"Yeah, but then no matter who wins, we're still the Universal Champion. Co-champions as always, smart, huh?"

"No, as much as we both deserve to be in the main event of Wrestlemania, I don't want to fight my best friend, I--"

Goldberg hits the ring. "So let me see if I've got this straight: Chris Jericho is an entrant in the Royal Rumble match. You know what that means, don't you? That means, Jericho, you're first!"

Owens: "Whoa, whoa, this is my show, you're my guest, we don't need this hostility. Bill, have a seat."

Goldberg tosses the chair out of the ring.

Chris: "Whoa, whoa, you neanderthal, Goldberg, coming out here throwing chairs around. You wanna know what happens when you throw furniture around? You wanna know what happens?"

Goldberg: "Yeah! Spear, Jackhammer! That's what happens!"

Owens: "Wait, am I supposed to be intimidated because you said the word 'Jackhammer'? Because you took your jacket off, threw some furniture around? Watch this!"

Owens clears all the furniture from the ring.

Goldberg: "Take your shot!"

Owens: "You think I'm supposed to be intimidated? I'm the Universal Champion!"

Paul Heyman comes out. "Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and my client is not here tonight. But I'm here to give you a spoiler for the Royal Rumble. Eat, sleep, elimination, repeat! Elimination, repeat! Elimination, repeat! I could go on all night--"

Goldberg: "But you won't! I'm going to take care of your client at the Royal Rumble, (turns to Owens) and then whether it's you or Roman Reigns, we've got a date at Wrestlemania!"

Roman Reigns hits the ring. "You two must be delusional, because you're not going to win anything at the Royal Rumble. Which brings me to you."

He turns to Goldberg and they stare each other down. Braun Strowman comes out, Jericho and Owens leave the ring.

Strowman: "If anyone's winning the Royal Rumble match, it's me!"

He climbs in the ring, Reigns and Goldberg stare him down, then back to each other, and they floor Strowman with a stereo spear. Roman leaves the ring as Goldberg celebrates and Raw goes off the air.

Bill Goldberg



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