Date: 01/09	7:00 PM
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Raw opens backstage with Stephanie McMahon doing Mick Foley's performance evaluation. She asks about the rumour that Undertaker will be here tonight. He says he has no proof, but he started the rumour because he has a really good feeling. Seth Rollins comes in and confirms his entry into the Royal Rumble. Braun Strowman walks in and demands either Goldberg or Reigns, Foley confirms that Goldberg isn't here and Roman has a match. Seth and Strowman brawl until they're pulled apart and Stephanie says Undertaker better show.

Match One: United States Championship: Roman Reigns (c) vs. JeriKO

Braun Strowman hits the ring before the bell. Reigns hits the floor and starts brawling with Strowman, Strowman rolls him into the ring, JeriKO double team him, Strowman chops him in the chest, JeriKO with stomps, punches, Strowman with a running big boot, Owens with punches, Strowman with a leaping stomp, Seth Rollins hits the ring with a chair, tosses it to Strowman, Van Daminator, tees off on Jericho and Owens, clubs Strowman in the gut, Reigns comes in with a chair and they beat Strowman down. Stephanie McMahon comes out.

"No, no, no, this match is not going to end this way and Monday Night Raw is not going to start this way. Now I promised the WWE Universe a handicap match for the United States Championship and they're going to get it. But Roman, so you have no excuse when you lose, I'm going to give you some time to recover. Seth, since you want a fight so bad, I'm going to give it to you, right now, against Braun Strowman."

Actual Match One: Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

Rollins with a dropkick, punches in the corner, kicks in the middle of the ring, Strowman goes for a running powerslam, reversed into a chop block, Rollins follows up with another, kick to the gut, Strowman blocks a second, trips Rollins, Rollins with boots from the corner, gets to his feet, Strowman with a punch to the back of the head, tosses Rollins down, stands on his head in the ropes, clothesline in the corner, Rollins crumples, boot to the gut, Rollins with a kick, blocked, Strowman with a clothesline, crossface punches, Rollins with punches, Strowman with a forearm, tosses him to the corner, Rollins sells hard, Strowman drags him to the middle of the ring, elbow drop, crossface punch, Rollins with a jaw breaker, punches, Strowman with a knee lift, tosses Rollins to the floor, Rollins with a jaw breaker across the ropes, clothesline, another, spin kick to the gut, kick to the face, Strowman with a spinebuster, tackles him to the floor, commercial.

Back on air, Strowman pulls Rollins to the floor, Rollins hits a pele kick, rolls back in the ring, suicide dive, goes for another, Strowman slides back in the ring, Rollins ducks a clothesline, hits the dropkick to the knee, knee to the face, DDT for one, slides to the apron, springboard knee to the face, goes up top, double axe handle, reversed into a toss to the corner, Strowman sets him up top, charges, Rollins with a boot, Tower of London, Strowman catches him, puts him right back up top, punch, Rollins with a swinging kick, headbutts, Strowman tumbles, Rollins with a frog splash for two, Strowman rolls to the floor, Rollins hits a running knee from the apron, goes up top, misses a crossbody and hits the barricade, Strowman tosses him into the barricade again, then over it, drags him back into the ringside area, the ref counts to 10.

Match Result: Double Countout

Strowman rolls Rollins into the ring, grabs a chair, climbs back in the ring, Rollins dropkicks the chair into his leg, grabs it, uses it to keep him at bay.

They show a replay of Sasha helping Bayley last week.

Backstage, Bayley asks Sasha about her knee. Sasha says it's fine, but asks her about that Bayley to Belly. Bayley says it was awesome, she's excited, and she knows she can do it. Sasha says she knows she can do it, but afterward they need to face off again. She says she has her back if Dana tries to interfere. Charlotte walks in and says Sasha is playing Bayley. She says Sasha can't teach her how to beat her because she never has on PPV. Nia Jax walks in and they beat down Sasha and Bayley. Charlotte starts to celebrate, Nia shoves her into the production crate.

They show a replay of the Gentlemen's Duel from 205 Live.

Match Two: Jack Gallagher vs. Drew Gulak

Lockup, Gulak grabs a leg and uses it to take Gallagher down, twists the leg, Gallagher reverses into a trip, blocked, Gallagher just holds in place, slowly trips Gulak, who makes it to the ropes, break, Gulak tosses him to the floor, Gallagher back into the ring, Gulak body slams him into the ropes, goes up top, clothesline for two, wrenches the neck, straightjacket hold, Gallagher to his feet, Gulak snapmares him and keeps the hold locked in, punch to the gut, back suplex, blocked, Gulak with a whip, Gallagher stands on his head in the corner, floats over, Gulak with a double leg, Gallagher with a monkey flip, pair of European uppercuts, Gulak with a pair of punches, Gallagher with a headbutt, running dropkick for three.

Winner: Jack Gallagher

Charly Caruso: "Jack, congratulations on your victory tonight, do you have any comments on your rivalry with Arya Daivari?"

"You know, due to the actions of Mr. Daivari, I'd be well within my rights to give him a good thrashing, but being the extraordinary gentleman that I am, I'd like to solve this peacefully instead of resorting to more violence. Therefore, I'd like to take this opportunity to invite him to parlay."

"What's parlay?"

"It's an opportunity to meet and discuss some terms of a peaceful settlement. If he does not agree, I will be forced to engage him in some fisticuffs."

Backstage, Mick is looking for Undertaker. Stephanie walks in and asks where he is, Mick says he has an innate feeling when The Undertaker's around. Stephanie says his entire performance review hinges on it, and gives him one hour. Mick says he'll be there.

Shawn Michaels hits the ring. "Keep chanting, I've got to catch my breath, it's a long run. Alrighty, now, first and foremost, I do have to say, I've missed you all. And to be perfectly honest, I've got to admit I've missed coming out here on a regular basis and seeing you, especially this time of year. Now, I know, it's always exciting in the WWE, but in January, things start to pick up a bit. And that might have something to do with the Royal Rumble being just down the road. Oh yes, HBShizzle has a lot of great memories of the Royal Rumble, but this year, it's my hometown of San Antonio, Texas. I'd be remiss if I didn't remember the Rumble of 20 years ago. Now, for those of you who weren't alive, because yes, I'm that old, and by the way, you can't chant me a curveball I haven't hit out of the park already. 20 years ago, I won the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble. And this year, you've got Goldberg, Braun Strowman, Brock Lesnar, Seth Rollins. And to be perfectly honest, I'm more comfortable sitting on the outside. To be perfectly honest. ('One more match' chants) Don't pressure me. You kids, HBK is gonna teach you how to stand up to peer pressure. As excited as I am about the Rumble, I'm here to talk about my new movie. An inspirational comedy, somewhat of a romance, January 20th, watch HBK's first appearance on the big screen in an acting role, did I mention The Resurrection of Gavin Stone?"

Rusev comes out with Lana and Jinder. "Shawn Michaels. Congratulations, you have a new movie to come out here to talk about. But if you want a movie to be successful, you have to put my beautiful and talented wife in it."

HBK: "Look, I'm not the biggest movie guy, but the movie's already done. It's been edited, it's coming out January 20th."

"Yeah, I get that."

"So they can't really put anyone in it."

"I don't really care. You can just do like that bad movie Star Wars did, and use your CGI, and put my wife Lana in."

"I'm not the be all and the end all, but I don't think that's how the movies work. They usually use CGI to draw in like the big scary monster or the wookie or whatever. Which you could probably do."

"The point is, you need to bring my wife into the movie. And I am not a wookie, look at my locks, I'm the Bulgarian Georgy Clooney. And my wife is much more beautiful than Emma Stone, she should have won the Golden Globe."

"Please don't say golden globes in reference to your wife. Something about it just makes me uncomfortable."

"That must be an American joke, because I didn't get it. The point is, if you don't put my wife in the movie, it will fail and everyone will forget about it. Just like your career."

Enzo and Cass come out. "My name is Enzo Amore, and I am a certified G and a bona fide stud, and you can't teach that. And this right here, this is Big Cass, and he's seven foot tall, and you can't teach that. Bada boom, realest guys in the room, how you doin'?"

He gets up out of the wheelchair and hobbles into the ring.

Enzo: "Now listen up, alright? Normally, I don't do this. Matter of fact, I've never done this. But the realest guy in the room is the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. So you being the realest guy in the room, let me ask you a question. Whadda we have here?"

HBK: "You know what? What you kids call them today, they're haters! Haters I tell ya!"

Enzo: "Cuppa haters? Cuppa haters? Now, I'm going to do something else I never do. Rusev, you were right about something. Your wife, Lana, she is actually a phenomenal actress. Every morning, she has to wake up next to this and pretend she's not repulsed. You guys, come out here, act like a cuppa haters, you guys are phenomenal actors. Matter of fact, Cass, if you were going to put them in a movie, what would it be?"

"I don't know, maybe The 40 Year Old Virgin? Puss in Boots? Beauty and the Beast? The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Blow. And The Pianist."

Enzo: "Cass, we've done some things on this program, but you can't say those things out here."

HBK: "Yeah, I don't think you can."

Cass: "Pianist. Tickling the ivories. Piano player."

HBK: "Oh, piano player."

Cass: "You have a few more?"

HBK: "Well nothing's going to be as good as The Pianist, but... Dumb and Dumber?"

Rusev: "Okay, you American pigs, that's enough! I put him in a wheelchair, I will put both of you in one too, but mostly you! (Cass)"

Cass: "If you have a problem, we can do this one on one, right now."

Rusev: "You wanna fight me today? Well you have a match! Against Jinder Mahal!"

Cass: "Uhh... I think that us three are going to prove that there's only ONE word to describe you, and I'm gonna spell it out for you! S-A-W-F-T, SAWFT!"

HBK: "And just so you know, since I've got nowhere to be until January 20th, I'm going to stay out here for this match. And if you're not down with that, I've got two words for ya!"

Match Three: Big Cass vs. Jinder Mahal

Match begins during a commercial, back on air, Cass is tackling Jinder in the corner, Jinder with a punch, Cass with a boot, punches in the corner, whip, misses an avalanche, hits a shoulder tackle instead, Cass with a boot, Jinder with punches, cover for one, choke in the ropes, cover for one, punches, knee drop, stomps in the corner, charges, Cass with a big boot, avalanche, tosses him across the ring, avalanche, goes for a big boot, Rusev distracts, Jinder clubs him from behind, chokes him in the ropes, Michaels superkicks Rusev on the floor, Cass with the East River Crossing, Empire Elbow for three.

Winner: Big Cass

Another "premiering soon" from Emmalina.

Match Four: Neville vs. Lince Dorado

Dorado with a dropkick, another, Lethal Injection, hurricanrana to the floor, suicide dive, kick, rolls him back into the ring, goes up top, crossbody for two, Neville presses him into the ropes, chop, stomps, tosses him down, keylock, tosses Dorado down, stomp, arm twist, shoulder breaker, Northern Lights Suplex, keylock, Dorado punches his way out, Neville with a punch, blocks a hurricanrana, hits what looks kind of like a TKO, Rings of Saturn for the tapout.

Winner: Neville

Neville blasts Dorado from behind, stomp to the back, locks the Rings of Saturn back in, Rich Swann runs in, Neville with stomps, Swann with a flurry of strikes, clothesline, another, enziguri in the corner, Neville ducks the spin kick and retreats.

Backstage, Stephanie McMahon fails to find a good place to put a tree in her office. Sasha and Bayley come in, Sasha demands Nia and Charlotte next week, Stephanie tells her to take the bass out of her voice, then makes the match, but for tonight.

Match Five: Luke Gallows vs. Sheamus

Anderson and Cesaro are both on commentary.

Lockup, break, lockup, Gallows with a side headlock, Sheamus with punches, reverses the hold, Gallows whips his way out, Sheamus with a shoulder tackle, Gallows with a pair of European uppercuts, punches in the corner, punch to the jaw, Sheamus whips him to the corner, running spin kick (!!), Battering Ram for two, arm wrench, Gallows with a punch, headbutt, punches in the ropes, whip, reversed, Gallows with a boot, Sheamus with a fireman's carry senton, knee drop, Gallows to the floor, Sheamus follows, Gallows hits a clothesline, uppercut, trading punches to the gut, Sheamus rolls him into the ring, goes up top, Gallows with a big boot, commercial.

Back on air, Gallows has Sheamus in a chinlock, trading punches, Sheamus with a whip, reversed, Sheamus with a pair of clotheslines, Gallows with a knee in the corner, Sheamus with a bicycle knee, Ten Beats of the Bowery, blocked with elbows, Sheamus with a knee lift, Ten Beats of the Bowery, wrecking ball dropkick, goes up top, clothesline for two, Gallows with a chinlock, boot to the back, kick to the back for two, fireman's carry, blocked, Sheamus with a body slam for two, calls for a Brogue Kick, Anderson tosses a bottle at Cesaro, attacks him, Gallows with a fireman's carry flapjack for two, Anderson grabs Cesaro, Cesaro reverses into a Cesaro Swing, blocked, Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick in the ring for three.

Winner: Sheamus

Backstage, Mick is still looking for Undertaker.

Backstage, Charly Caruso asks Roman Reigns if he feels ready for his title match. Reigns says being champion means defending against all challengers, and he always beats Jericho and Owens, vowing no change.

Mick Foley is in the ring. "The Undertaker and I have travelled, quite literally, to the depths of Hell together. I carry with me from those journeys scars both physical and emotional that will last me until the grave, and I carry them with pride. And I'm calling on The Undertaker for one more encounter, right here, on Monday Night Raw. Undertaker, I need you to take a trip from the dark side and be here, right here, in New Orleans, Louisiana. I've been doing this for 32 years, and all that time, I have known no greater honour than to stand in this ring, feel the chill in my bones as the lights go out, and that gong fills the air. And I remember fondly the days with Paul Bearer would roll up his shirt sleeves to show me the hair standing on end."

The lights go out, but Stephanie McMahon comes out instead. "On behalf of Monday Night Raw, I sincerely apologize for Mick Foley's inability to produce The Undertaker. Mick, you give me no choice but to give your performance review, right now, publicly. This crowd's reaction is a result of your inability to produce The Undertaker, it's all because of you, Mick. I mean, how does that make you feel? Now, you've had a number of successes, you put Sheamus and Cesaro together as a team. The first-ever Women's Hell in a Cell match, it was groundbreaking. Chris Jericho in a shark cage, unorthodox but very entertaining. But for every step forward, you take two steps back. You put the entire Cruiserweight division on the line, you let your personal feelings with Sami Zayn get in the way and created the monster that is Braun Strowman, the monster you can't control. You let Smackdown beat Raw in the ratings, that was due to your performance, and now, you failed to produce The Undertaker. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'd just like to say how sorry I am--"

The gong sounds, and Undertaker is out. "I'm back! And I think it important that the world should know, I will be entering the Royal Rumble! (Braun Strowman shown watching backstage) I answer to no one, I go where I want, when I want. Nobody controls The Undertaker. (walks up to Stephanie McMahon) No one. Now I have returned to the city where I have suffered my most devastating loss, and where the Streak came to its demise. But my journey continues to the Royal Rumble. I've dug 29 holes for 29 souls, and I will be bringing the dark side to the Royal Rumble match. And after I win, I will return to the main event at Wrestlemania, and if anyone, and I mean anyone, stands in my way, they will... rest... in... peace!"

Backstage, Charly Caruso asks JeriKO about what just happened. Owens says if it's entertaining when someone who never shows up does, last week must have been great, but he didn't find it exciting, it just made him angry, and now Reigns is going to suffer the consequences by himself. He then tells Chris "You say things now". Jericho says they're going to be the United States Champion. He says no more champion the United States is embarrassed of, as national treasures, they're going to be the face of America.

Match Six: Bayley and Sasha Banks vs. Women's Champion Charlotte and Nia Jax

Sasha and Bayley discuss who will start, Sasha and Charlotte start, Charlotte shoots a leg, Sasha rolls through, Nia and Bayley run in, stand-off, commercial.

Back on air, Charlotte tosses Sasha to the corner, then again, Sasha with an elbow, head scissors into the turnbuckle, second rope double foot stomp, Charlotte dodges, Sasha sells the knee, Bayley in, forearms to the face, crossbody, mounted punches, running elbow to the back, clothesline, tosses Charlotte to the apron, hangman's cutter, shoulder tackle in the corner, misses an avalanche, Charlotte with a big boot for two, slams her head into the mat three times, Nia in, Charlotte whips Bayley into a snake eyes from Nia, avalanche, punch, tosses her across the ring, Charlotte back in, chop, cover for two, chinlock, Bayley eventually arm drags out, Charlotte locks the hold back in, cover for one, Nia in, Charlotte whips Bayley into a body slam from Nia, Nia tackles Sasha, Charlotte in, chop, Northern Lights Suplex, chop, body slam, blocked, Bayley with a rear waistlock, Nia in, Bayley rolls in Charlotte, Nia with a shoulder tackle, leg drop for three.

Winners: Nia Jax and Charlotte

Backstage, Noam Dar is getting ready. Alicia Fox walks in, Dar leans in for a slap, Fox doesn't know what he's doing, Dar explains, Fox kisses him instead. Then she says, "Yeah, Cedric was right, you can't handle a real woman."

The New Day come out, then Titus comes out.

E: "So Tay-drawers, last week you tried to join The New Day by clocking Woods?"

Titus: "I apologized for that, and I'll do it again. I'm so sorry. But I want another chance to be in The New Day."

Woods: "We know you want another chance. We've gotten your texts, we've gotten your tweets. When I said my DMs were open, I didn't mean you."

Kofi: "Don't slide in there."

Titus: "Now, Xavier, it is universally known that it goes down in the DMs. But give me another chance, man."

Kofi: "We know that you want another chance, we know. You want to grab the bull by the horns. But we have proof of a time when you looked more like a bull in a china shop. Let's show it."

Video package from his super-awkward NXT run shows.

New Day laugh.

E: "That looked like a commercial, what's the thing where you fall and you can't get up?"

Woods: "Life Alert."

E: "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up! The old lady, that's you! But instead of trying for a new chance, how about a chance at redemption?"

Kofi: "Direct your eyes at me, baby!"

Kofi is on the floor, he unveils a keg. "But not just any keg, this keg is full of the greatest sports drink of all time: Booty Juice!"

New Day: "Booty Juice: It makes sure your throat is loose!"

Kofi: "So let's put 12.7 seconds up on the clock. If you can't do this, you don't deserve a second chance."

Titus takes the keg and runs it around the ring in 12.1 seconds. The ref wants to check him.

Kofi: "Respect his rights, respect his rights! Now let's take a look at the replay!"

The replay shows that he dropped the keg while celebrating.

Kofi: "The replay never lies! The replay never lies, baby! This keg carrying thing isn't for you."

Titus shoves Kofi.

Kofi: "I got it! I got it! Now who wants to see me put the whooping on tight drawers Titus O'Neil tonight? You want it, you got it! Because The New Day always gives the WWE Universe what they want, and do you know why? Because--"

New Day: "New! Day rocks!"

Match Seven: Kofi Kingston vs. Titus O'Neil

Kofi with a rear waistlock, Titus with an elbow, tosses Kofi aside, shoulder tackles in the corner, tosses Kofi into the middle of the ring, whip, Kofi with a boot to the face, kicks, ducks a clotheslien, hits a kick, SOS, reversed into a Dominator, stomps, foot choke on the apron, punch in the corner, chop, chop in the adjacent corner, misses another, Kofi with chops, Kofi with a body slam for two, chinlock/armbar combo, Kofi with a rollup for two, Titus swats him down, fireman's carry, reversed into a rollup, reversed into a headbutt, sets Kofi up top, slaps, Kofi with boots, crossbody, reversed into a pair of gutbreakers, Kofi tosses aside, Titus goes for it again, Woods starts playing the trombone, Titus tosses Kofi onto Woods, Woods and E catch him upright, Titus gives chase, Trouble in Paradise for three.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Swann vs. Neese and Dar vs. Alexander are both official for tomorrow, and Lesnar is official for next week.

Main Event: United States Championship: Roman Reigns (c) vs. JeriKO

Reigns meets his challengers on the floor and starts beating them down, beats them up the ramp, boot to Jericho, tosses him into the shark cage, beats him down, goes to lock the door, Owens attacks him, they beat him down on the ramp, toss him into the cage, which sends it off the stage, beat him down on the way to the ring, toss him into the steps, Jericho rolls Reigns into the ring, they join him, the ref checks on Reigns, asks him if he can go, he says yes, bell rings, Owens starts off, clothesline, stomps, punch, digs a knee into his face, punches him in the gut in the corner, punch to the face, Jericho in, boot, whip, tackle, running boot to the back, elbow drop, chinlock, Reigns to his feet, punches, whip, Jericho with a boot, Reigns tosses him to the apron, Jericho goes up top, leaps, Reigns catches him with a punch, clothesline, whip, reversed, Reigns with a leaping clothesline, one for Owens who tries to interfere, clothesline to Owens in the corner, charges Jericho, Jericho hits a boot, bulldog, blocked as Reigns tosses Jericho into Owens, Samoan Drop to Jericho, clotheslines to Owens in the corner, Owens with a punch, goes for another, Reigns with a big boot, sending him to the floor, calls for a Superman Punch, blocked, Owens with a punch, Jericho with a Lionsault for two, Walls of Jericho, blocked, Owens hits a superkick, calls for a Pop-Up Codebreaker, Reigns with a Superman Punch to Jericho from midair, Superman Punch to Owens, calls for a spear to Jericho, Jericho with a boot, Codebreaker, blocked, reversed into a powerbomb, blocked, Reigns connects with a spear for two as Owens pulls him to the floor, ducks a Drive-By, hits a superkick to the cheek, powerbomb reversed into a back body drop, Drive-By, Jericho goes for a springboard dropkick, reversed into a Superman Punch, Owens grabs his leg, Jericho with a Codebreaker in the apron, Owens powerbombs Reigns into the apron, both men struggle to roll Reigns into the ring, get him in, Owens with punches, drags him up, Jericho hits a Codebreaker for three.

Winners: JeriKO

NEW United States Champion: Chris Jericho

The right guys (guy?) won. And for the last minute, they were as dominant as they should have been considering they're two main event guys. That's it. That's the only thing about the booking of that match that wasn't a complete fucking abortion. Jesus Christ, I'm almost tempted to pre-emptively call it for Smackdown this week.

Raw goes off the air with Jericho celebrating with Owens.