Date: 01/16	7:00 PM
Views: 469

Tonight's Raw has quite a lot going on. Kurt Angle has just been announced for the Hall of Fame, what impact will that have on tonight's broadcast? Will there be a tribute to Jimmy Snuka, even though he more than likely killed a woman? Brock Lesnar is in the house, and who else will declare for the Royal Rumble? Are Gallows and Anderson bound for a shot at the tag team titles? Will Nia Jax try to insert herself into the Women's title picture?

Press F5 or refresh for more updates.

Raw opens with a tribute graphic to Jimmy Snuka, then a video package for MLK Day. Well, 1/2 isn't bad.

The live broadcast begins with Roman Reigns hitting the ring. "As a former member of The Shield, I can't really complain about losing a fight because I was outnumbered. When we debuted, we kicked the door down and we whooped everyone. So I say this, and I'm not complaining. I lost the United States Championship in a handicap match. But I know who will be complaining. At the Royal Rumble, Kevin Owens won't have his buddy, Chris Jericho, he'll be locked in a shark cage. And Kevin Owens can't beat me one on one, no one can beat me one on one. So I'm going, for the third time, to be the main event of Wrestlemania."

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Paul Heyman comes out. "My name is Paul Heyman, and I am also known as the calm before the storm, because the storm is coming. For the first time since Survivor Series, Brock Lesnar is in the building. That sense of impending doom, that sword of Damocles hanging over the ring serves only-- May I? (enters the ring) I'm just an advocate. It serves to give all of you a Royal Rumble spoi-- ('Goldberg' chants overtake) Ladies and gentlemen, Goldberg is not here this evening. However, I am, so that allows me to give you a Royal Rumble match spoiler: This is how the Rumble match goes: Eat, sleep, elimination, repeat. Eat, sleep--"

"That's funny, Paul. Brock Lesnar must be somewhere eating, or sleeping. Because he's not here with you."

JeriKO come out next.

Owens: "You know, I, uh, I find it quite funny that you two are out here making your Wrestlemania plans when Chris and I are both the WWE United States and WWE Universal Champion."

Chris: "You know, that's exactly right, KO. Because if anyone has a date with destiny, it's Chris and Kevin, baby! It's simple math. 1: Kevin Owens beats Reigns to retain. 2. Jericho wins the Royal Rumble match. 3. Main event of Wrestlemania, best friends fight it out. And no matter who wins, we remain the US Universal Champions! And everyone out here, and everyone watching at home, better watch... IT!"

Owens: "You're right, they better watch it. I'm not sure that Wrestlemania math adds up, but that's beside the point. Because the fact is, I'm the longest-reigning Universal Champion of all time. After Royal Rumble, I'll still be the Universal Champion. After Wrestlemania, I'll still be Universal Champion no matter who I face."

Seth Rollins comes out. "Man, my ears are burning, did I hear people talking about the main event of Wrestlemania? You can't have that conversation without talking about Seth Rollins. And just because I missed that last year, I can't think of a better way to make sure I'm in the main event this year than winning the Royal Rumble. And remind your client, Paul, you too big dog, that anything can happen in the main event of Wrestlemania."

Braun Strowman comes out, stares down Reigns, Lesnar's music hits.

Brock Lesnar hits the ring. Before he gets there, Sami Zayn attacks Braun Strowman from behind. A fight breaks out, Superman Punch to Strowman, followed by a Rollins knee, Helluva Kick, Strowman hits the floor. Lesnar hits the ring and suplexes both former Shield members into oblivion, stares down Zayn, German suplexes him, calls for Strowman, who climbs up onto the apron, then drops down. Reigns hits Lesnar with a Superman punch, then both members of JeriKO, before walking directly into an F5. Strowman and Owens stare him down from the ramp.

True to my headline (but earlier than I thought), the tag titles will be on the line tonight against Gallows and Anderson. Enzo and Cass will also face Rusev and Jinder.

Match One: Jinder Mahal and Rusev vs. Enzo and Cass

Enzo: "My name is Enzo Amore (etc.) How you doin'? Now that I'm walking, I'm done talking. Get money, Cass."

"Rusev, Jinder, there's only one word to describe you! (etc.)"

Enzo and Jinder start off. Enzo with a shove, Jinder shoves him to the corner, Enzo ducks and lays in punches in the corner, Jinder shoves him, punches, whip, Enzo with a boot from the corner, punch, Cass in, Enzo with a forearm to Rusev, aided dropkick to Jinder, Enzo goes after Rusev, thinks better or it, Cass beats down Rusev, clotheslines Jinder over the top rope, commercial.

Back on air, Enzo beats down Jinder while Cass holds him back, rollup as Rusev tags in, uranage for two, boot to the gut, punch, stomps while he holds Enzo's arm, body slam, elbow drop, Jinder in, running knee drop, knee choke in the ropes, knee drop, keeps the knee in the face until he's forced to break, Rusev in, boot to the gut, stomp, waits for Enzo to get back up, locks in a bear hug, Enzo elbows his way out, Rusev shoves him to the corner, Enzo with a boot, tornado DDT, double tag, Cass with a shoulder block, another, fallaway slam, avalanche, body slam, Empire elbow for two as Rusev breaks the count, Enzo tosses Rusev to the apron, Rusev punches him, Cass boots Rusev in the head, Jinder with a rollup for two, Big Cass with a big boot, Enzo in, Bada Boom Shacka Lacka for three.

Winners: Enzo and Cass

Rusev collects Jinder and retreats.

They show a video package for Lita because apparently it has something to do with the new XXX movie.

Jack Gallagher is on commentary.

Match Two: Arya Daivari vs. Lince Dorado

Daivari presses Dorado to the corner, Dorado escapes, kick, springboard crossbody, Daivari with a clothesline, boots in the corner, boots in the adjacent corner, punches in the adjacent corner to that one, Dorado with a takedown, mounted punches, kicks, punches, whip, reversed, Dorado hits a Lethal Injection for two, action that I can't see because the camera is on the commentary table, Dorado with boots from the corner, misses a top rope crossbody, Daivari with a clothesline, Cobra Clutch for the tapout.

Winner: Arya Daivari

They show a replay of Undertaker entering the Royal Rumble match, then a recap of the UK Championship Tournament over the weekend.

They show footage from earlier today of Nia Jax attacking Sasha Banks while she was rehabilitating her knee.

Match Three: Raw Tag Team Championships: Sheamus and Cesaro (c) vs. Gallows and Anderson

Cesaro and Anderson start off, Anderson twists the arm, Cesaro kips up, Anderson with punches, side headlock, Sheamus in, Cesaro with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, Sheamus with a knee drop for two, Cesaro in, fireman's carry senton into a double foot stomp for two, misses a European uppercut in the corner, Anderson with punches, punches in the corner, Gallows in, Anderson with a backbreaker, Gallows with an elbow drop for two, punches to the gut in the corner, punch, uppercut, Anderson in, boot to the gut, snapmare, knee drop, another, a third for two, armbar, Cesaro with punches, Anderson punches him, tosses him to the corner, Gallows in, stomps, back suplex, blocked, Sheamus in, battering ram, clothesline, shoulder tackle in the corner, spin kick, top rope clothesline for two, kick to the head, Gallows tosses him to the apron, Sheamus with punches, Ten Beats, Anderson tries to interfere, Cesaro goes for a swing, Anderson gets out, Cesaro gives chase, Anderson dropkicks Sheamus, Gallows with a punch, commercial.

Back on air, Gallows is choking Sheamus in the ropes, knee lift in the corner, Anderson in, inverted 3D for two, Gallows in, misses a punch to Cesaro, Sheamus with a body slam, double tag, Cesaro with a clothesline, uppercut train, eventually does away with the whips and just starts hitting them in the corner, dropkick for two, Cesaro Swing interrupted by Gallows, Cesaro tosses him to the floor, drop toehold to Anderson, 619, goes up top, Gallows tosses Sheamus into the barricade, Cesaro hits Gallows with a crossbody, Anderson goes for a suicide dive, blocked with a European uppercut, springboard corkscrew European uppercut for two, Cesaro Swing, Sharpshooter, Gallows with a big boot, Anderson covers for two, European uppercut, slaps, another European uppercut, Cesaro punches Gallows, responds to Anderson in kind, dropkick to Gallows, Anderson with a spnebuster for two as Sheamus breaks the count, starts beating down everyone, hits the referee, realizes what he's done, Gallows and Anderson shove him to the floor, Magic Killer to Cesaro, another referee comes in and counts to three.

John Cone wakes up and declares that the win is actually by DQ.

Winners by DQ: Gallows and Anderson

STILL Tag Team Champions: Sheamus and Cesaro

Gallows and Anderson beat down Sheamus and hit a Magic Killer.

They show a memorial package for Jimmy Snuka. I've already made my thoughts pretty known.

Emmalina is still premiering soon. Okay, this is quickly turning into Go Away Heat.

Backstage, Sami Zayn has assembled Reigns and Rollins and starts strategizing for their upcoming six-man tag match, saying they need to focus on Strowman. Rollins says they appreciate their enthusiasm, but they're the ones with the relevant experience. Zayn puts in for a Shield fist-bump, Reigns says he's crazier than Ambrose and they walk off.

Match Four: Tony Neese vs. Cruiserweight Champion Rich Swann (non-title)

Neville attacks Swann before the bell, Neese tries to get in on the action, Neville eventually tosses him to the floor, then superkicks Swann in the side of the head.

Match Never Started

After a commercial, a backstage interviewer I think is new asks Neville why he attacked Swann after he already has a match at RR. Neville calls him a hypocrite and says Swann isn't actually a fighting champion, he's just too proud to admit he's been defeated.

New Day hit the ring.

Woods: "Soon, each and every one of you will have a chance to witness possibly the most stacked Royal Rumble match in the history of the Royal Rumble."

Kofi: "Stacked indeed! Goldberg! Brock Lesnar! How about Braun Strowman? The Undertaker! But most importantly, you know who you got? You got ya boys, the--"

All: "New Day!"

E: "And in preparing for the Royal Rumble, we've heard royal rumblings that it will be foe vs. foe."

Woods: "And we also know that it will be friend vs. friend."

Kofi: "Which means that it is every man for himself."

E: "Which means... that if one of you two win the Royal Rumble..."

All: "We all win the Royal Rumble!"

Kofi: "And when we all win the Royal Rumble, we all go on to Wrestlemania in the main event!"

Woods: "And when we all win the main event, we all go on to be your WWE Universal--"

Titus O'Neil hits the ring. "Now, I'm not out here for any of your Booty-Os, or even your booty business. Honestly, I don't even want to be in the New Day. Honestly, I don't want to be in the New Day because I was thinking I would replace the New Day. See, the way I see it, you guys have three spots, one, two, three. And since you have three spots, I say hook a brother up with one of those spots."

Woods: "How about no?"

Titus: "I don't need you to give me anything, I'll just take it. So why don't you get in a little booty huddle and decide which one of you wants to lose your spot to me?"

Kofi: "First of all, if you knew the proper time to call a huddle, you would still be playing football."

E: "I accept. But, one caveat: When I win, no more texts, no more DMs, no more showing up at our front porch with a fake mustache and a pizza box with a hole in it."

Titus: "First of all, dickums-- that's what your mama call you, right? Dickums? When I win, and I will win, because Ti-tus rocks! Ti-tus rocks!"

Match Five/Four: Royal Rumble Qualifier: Titus O'Neil vs. Big E

Match begins during a commercial, back on air, Titus is hammering E with punches in the corner, whip, E with a shoulder tackle, Titus goes for a punch in the corner, misses, E with a fist to the gut, abdominal stretch, whip, spinning elbow for two, whip, reversed, E holds the ropes, tosses Titus to the floor, follows, punch to the gut, Woods gets in Titus' face, Titus shoves him, back in the ring, big boot to Big E, mounted punches for two, clothesline for two, elbow drops for two, dominator for two, straightjacket hold, transitions to a chinlock, body slam, running leg drop for two, abdominal stretches, slaps his ass, whip, E with a pair of clotheslines, belly to belly, running splash, Big Ending for three.

Winner: Big E

They show a video package for the first-ever Royal Rumble, with Hacksaw talking about how no one realized it would turn into such a big thing.

Charlotte hits the ring. "I didn't become the Pay Per View queen or the WWE Women's Champion overnight. Yes, I'm genetically superior, but I achieved by success because I worked hard and studied every opponent inside and out. That's why this one was so easy. When you look up the word 'average' in the dictionary, you see a picture of Bayley. That seven-letter word is what connects you all to Bayley. It's why when her music hits, you all stand up and cheer. She's one of you. An average fan. Here, look at this. (Old picture of Bayley with John Cena) See? She's right there with her favourite wrestler with John Cena. I hope she doesn't ask for his autograph. (Bayley with Ivory) It's no secret she's been a fan her whole life. (Bayley with RVD) Obsessed, much? I hope Nattie doesn't see this next one. (Bayley with Bret Hart) And she's also a poet, look at this. (Pictures of handwritten notes) Remember, kids, whatever you put on the internet stays there forever. You know what I was doing? Winning state championships, being recruited for the state volleyball team. She was writing in little notebooks. Let me read one for you. 'On this road'... or office road? Anyone want to read this for me? Can you even read, four-eyes? But she also write this essay for high school. Yeah, she was in high school when she wrote this. Who better to read it out than the author herself? (video of Bayley reading an essay about wanting to be a wrestler) Oh no, stop, I can't, I'm going to cry. You know, I thought this might happen, so I brought a copy myself. This is going to be good. 'I know it's a tough path to go down, but once I'm holding the Women's Championship, I can look at myself and know, I did it!' I hope Bayley got an F on this essay, because you know what it is? A pile of empty dreams! Maybe this belongs in a classroom somewhere. But for someone who wrestled in gas stations and armories, does she really think she can beat someone who's genetically superior?"

Bayley hits the ring and chases her off. "Charlotte, what are you doing? Bringing up old photos and essays, it's not necessary."

"Are you ashamed or something? This is who you are. You're her, you're him, you're an average fan."

"Are you trying to embarrass me? Is that your strategy before the biggest match of my life? Are you trying to embarrass me?"

"Aren't you a little?"

"No, I'm not. I'm not ashamed of my passion for WWE! I may not have had a dad who could open the door with one phone call."

"Sue me."

"But I did have a dad who took me to every WWE show, even if he didn't have money. It didn't matter if I sat there, or up there, if I was in the front row with a hugger shirt or in the back corner where everyone looks like ants. I told him that was going to be me someday!"

"That's so inspiring."

"You liked that poem so much? I thought of a new one. Roses are red, violets are blue, at Royal Rumble, I'll defeat you! Okay, another: I can't help but smile from cheek to cheek when I break your PPV streak! One last one, you know I can write: You call me a child, as you sit on that ramp, but soon you can call me your new Women's Champ!"

JeriKO try to talk strategy with Strowman, he just reaffirms that he's going to beat the hell out of everyone.

Match Six/Five: Brian Kendrick vs. Cedric Alexander

Lockup, Cedric presses Brian to the corner, break, Brian pulls him into the bottom turnbuckle, Cedric with a hurricanrana, then another one to the floor, springboard Asai moonsault, climbs back in the ring, Kendrick with a dropkick, chokes him in the ropes, dropkick for two, full nelson recliner, Cedric to his feet, breaks the hold, elbow, another, a third, snapmare, punch, chop, chop, Kendrick with a spinning back elbow, charges, Cedric with a boot, another, catches a kick, hits a spinning back elbow, shoulder tackle in the corner, hanging kick, springboard clothesline for two, back suplex, blocked as Kendrick hooks the face, rolls through into the Captain's Hook, Alicia Fox runs to the ring, aids Alexander in getting to the ropes, helps him out of the ring, Cedric asks her what she's doing, Kendrick with a baseball slide, rolls Alexander into the ring, follows, Captain's Hook, reversed into a Lumbar Check for three.

Winner: Cedric Alexander

Cedric offers Fox a hug after the match, then ducks it and leaves.

The same backstage interviewer I've yet to identify asks Nia Jax why she attacks Sasha Banks. She says it's to prove Sasha can't hang with a real woman.

The same dude (I should really get his name) asks Alicia Fox what just happened. She says she doesn't want to talk about it. He pushes the issue and she yells at him.

They officially (well, officially again) announce the first inductee into the 2017 Hall of Fame class: Kurt Angle. Please, please let this be the start of more great things between the two parties.

Goldberg is official for Raw next week.

Main Event: Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman and JeriKO

Zayn starts brawling with Strowman, this turns into an all-out brawl, Strowman is the only member of his team winning, Strowman tosses Zayn to the floor, Rollins tosses Jericho to the floor, Strowman tosses Rollins to the floor, Reigns tosses Owens to the floor, staredown with Strowman, Strowman tosses Reigns to the floor, Raw goes to commercial and the bell hasn't rung.

Back on air, Jericho beats down Reigns in the corner, snapmare, slaps, Reigns to his feet, punch, toss to the corner, Zayn in, punch, chop, toss to the corner, chop, gut breaker, standing moonsault for two, Jericho presses him to the corner, Owens in, punches, knees, stomp, chop, stomp, kick to the back, knees to the back, forearms, chinlock, Zayn punches his way out, Owens with an enziguri for two, Jericho in, back suplex for two, whip to the corner, clothesline, goes up top, Zayn with a clothesline to the gut, Owens in, arm trap clothesline, running senton, blocked with knees, Reigns in, punches, whip, reversed, Reigns with a clothesline, clotheslines in the corner, punch to Jericho, ducks a clothesline from Owens, hits a superkick, calls for a Superman Punch, Jericho grabs his leg, Rollins starts punching Jericho, Strowman tosses Rollins into the barricade, Reigns goes for a Superman Punch to Strowman, gets caught, Owens with a superkick for two, commercial.

Back on air, everyone is brawling, it looks like Reigns and Owens are legal, Owens with stomps, chinlock, Reigns slowly to his feet, punches his way out, Owens with a knee, Reigns with a Samoan Drop, Jericho in, Rollins in, Rollins with a slingblade, running forearm in the corner, another, goes up top, blockbuster, Owens tries to run interference, Zayn takes him out, Rollins with a suicide dive to Jericho, Zayn with a suicide dive to Owens, Strowman charges, Zayn ducks, Strowman hits the ring post, Rollins with a high knee to the head for two, Pedigree, reversed into the Walls of Jericho, blocked, Pedigree, reversed into a back body drop, Rollins lands on his feet, Strowman in, Rollins tees off, pair of running tackles, Strowman goes for a chokeslam, Zayn attacks him from behind, Strowman chops him, Pedigree, blockes with a back body drop, Reigns with a Superman Punch, Rollins with a knee, Zayn in, Rollins with a crossbody to the floor to JeriKO, Zayn with a crossbody to Strowman for two, Helluva Kick, reversed into a clothesline, Strowman with a running powerslam for three.

Winners: Braun Strowman and JeriKO

Strowman tosses Zayn to the floor, starts dragging him, carries him to the announce table, Rollins starts attacking Strowman with a chair, Reigns hits Strowman with a spear, Strowman still starts crawling away almost instantly. Reigns and Rollins set up the table, but Strowman's already long gone. JeriKO attack them from behind, go for a Shield-style powerbomb to Reigns, Rollins attacks, Pedigrees Jericho, Owens blasts him in the back with a chair, Reigns goes for a spear, gets caught with the chair, Owens nails him in the back one more time for good measure, yells "Remember Battleground? and then powerbombs him through the table. Raw goes off the air with Owens standing over Reigns and me frantically trying to Google what he meant.