Date: 02/13	7:00 PM
Views: 500

On tonight's Raw, Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho celebrate their platonic guy-love with the Festival of Friendship! Meanwhile, Charlotte will defend against Bayley, and (allegedly, I cannot stress "allegedly" enough) Emmalina will finally make her debut under the new ring name. Will Goldberg be in attendence? What other matches will be made for Fastlane?

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Before the show begins, they show a tribute graphic for Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Raw opens with Stephanie McMahon hitting the ring. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Raw! Now, Mick Foley was obviously feeling a little tired and overworked last week, which is why he embarrassed himself so badly at Samoa Joe's contract signing last week. So, being the benevolent person that I am, I gave him the week off, and I'm sure he'll have his priorities in order next week when he shows up. But this week, I'm running the show, right here in Las Vegas, Nevada!"

Roman Reigns hits the ring. "I'm gonna keep this short and sweet: I'm not waiting until Fastlane. I want Braun Strowman right now."

"Well, I'll tell you what, Roman: since I'm running Raw, it's actually not about me tonight. It's about the WWE Universe and what they want to see. So do you guys want to wait until Fastlane, or do you want to see that match tonight? You hear that? That's the sound of ambivalence. These people don't care about you. They don't care that you're banged up, they don't care that you're not 100%, they don't care if they put you in harm's way. But believe it or not, I do."

"I don't care what anyone thinks of me, least of all you."

"You will get Braun Strowman at Fastlane, but tonight, he's in action, as the monster among men goes one on one with the world's strongest man."

"That sounds like a hell of a fight, maybe I'll see it live."

"You think you're so smart, but if you so much as lay a hand on Braun, I might just take away your match at Fastlane. I might just take away any shot you might have had at Wrestlemania."

"I don't think you're understanding me."

The Club come out.

Luke: "I'm sorry, we just couldn't listen to any more of this disrespect."

Stephanie: "Thank you."

Luke: "Roman, it's like the Rolling Stoneskis said, you can't always get what you want. I know you're not used to being told no, but Stephanie just told you you can't have Braun Strowman."

Karl: "But we might just be up for a little action, so why don't we face you two on one?"

Steph: "You know what? In honour of the man we just announced as the next inductee into the Hall of Fame, Teddy Long, I think we have a match tonight, playa! And it's a handicap match!"

Match One: Roman Reigns vs. Raw Tag Team Champions The Club

They brawl on the floor, commercial.

Back on air, Gallows is punching away at Roman, Anderson in, inverted 3D for two, chinlock, boot to the gut, Reigns with punches, punch to Gallows, ducks a charge sending Anderson into the ring post, punch to Gallows, pair of clotheslines to Anderson, whip, reversed, Reigns with a clothesline, clotheslines in the corner, punch to Gallows, boot to Anderson, calls for a Superman Punch, punches Gallows, Anderson with a rollup, Reigns with a Superman Punch, Gallows clubs him from behind, boots, Anderson joins in, holds him back for punches, more punches, the ref calls for the DQ.

Winner by DQ: Roman Reigns

They keep beating him down after the bell, Magic Killer, blocked, reversed into a suplex to Gallows, Reigns tosses him to the apron, Superman Punch, boots Anderson as he tries to come in with a chair, Reigns holds the ring, chair in one hand, his own cock in the other. Seriously, what was the point of that?

They show a package for the List of Jericho.

The New Day come out.

Kofi: "Bo Dallas! Look at you, in there all by yourself, looking all lonely! What you trying to be, some kind of social outcast?"

E: "Told you not to do that joke. But do you know who is going to put a smile on your face?"

All: "Who?"

Woods: "The New Day! Because we-we-we-we-we-we been workin'! On the blueprints for the first ever New Day Ice Cream machine. So as soon as Kofi Kingston makes short work of Bo Dallas, we're going to show you how we're going to bring you, and you, and you, and all of you ice cream!"

Match Two: Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

Bo ducks a clothesline, Kofi dropkicks him out of the ring, Bo stares down the other two members, starts dancing to Francesca 2 Turbo, then grabs the blueprints and rips them. Kofi hits a suicide senton and rolls Bo back in the ring, Bo hits a knee lift, slingshot neckbreaker for two, covers for two again, punches in the corner, elbow, clothesline, reversed into an SOS for three.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Backstage, Charly Caruso asks Neville about Jack Gallagher. He interrupts her mid-question and says they've already been talking longer than the match will take. He says TJ Perkins tomorrow night will prove more of a threat. Gallagher walks in and offers to quote Shakespeare, Neville says no, he needs to look in the mirror instead. Gallagher then suggests people don't hate him for being British, they hate him for being a pillock.

Festival of Friendship video package takes us to Hell in a Cell.

Match Two: Noam Dar vs. Jack Gallagher

Noam Dar is accompanied by Alicia Foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooox.

Lockup, Gallagher presses Dar to the corner, break, arm twist, transitions to a side headlock, Dar with an ankle lock, Gallagher flips his way out, locks in an ankle lock, Dar spins out, Gallagher cartwheels, Dar with a kick to the shin, running stomp, punch to the face, press to the corner, shoulder tackles, elbow drop to the knee, leg twist, knee drop, Gallagher with punches, Dar with a punch for two, armbar, Gallagher with a punch, Dar with a boot, leg scissors to the midsection, pair of dropkicks, headbutt, running dropkick for three.

Winner: Jack Gallagher

Neville stands on the ramp and stares him down.

Backstage, Samoa Joe gets out of a limo, accompanied by HHH.

Emmalina is apparently next. Once again, I'll believe it when I see it.

And when Raw comes back from commercial, we get another Festival of Friendship video package of Jericho helping Owens retain in a No DQ match.

And then holy shit, it's actually Emma! Please tell me this is going somewhere hilarious.

"For 17 long weeks, you've waited for the makeover of Emma to Emmalina. Well, here I am. And now, now you will see the makeover from Emmalina to Emma. Thank you."

She goes backstage.

Charly Caruso covers what just happened, then introduces Bayley. She asks about the match, which will reportedly be the main event. She says she's nervous, but it's a good nervous, and she compares the spot to others who have come before. Then she talks about how Stephanie doubts her and Charlotte reminds her she's the last of the horsewomen up. She says she keeps smiling, because she knows she came so close last time that she can do it again. She vows to achieve her dream.

Jericho and Owens are backstage, Jericho is hyping up the festival. HHH walks in, shakes hands with both guys, asks for a chance to talk to Owens alone.

After a commercial, their conversation looks pretty heavy, off-mic.

Match Three: Braun Strowman vs. Mark Henry

Lockup, break. Lockup, Strowman very slowly steps forward, break. Henry gets in Strowman's face, Strowman with a knee, punches to the gut, Henry responds with punches, shoulder tackle in the corern punches, Strowman with a punch as the ref tries to get Henry back, Strowman with a clothesline, leg drop, punch, headbutt, running kick to the chest, chinlock, Henry slowly to his feet, Strowman with a punch to the gut, chop to the chest, goes for a second, Henry catches the hand, pair of arm breakers, pair of punches, tackle, avalanche in the corner, another, World's Strongest Slam, falls backward instead of delivering the move, Strowman hits a running dropkick, powerslam for three.

Winner: Braun Strowman

Roman Reigns hits the ring, Strowman knocks him off the apron, taunts him, Reigns climbs back up on the apron, drops Strowman across the top rope, Superman Punch, Strowman doesn't go down, Reigns hits another one, Strowman down to a knee, Reigns charges for a spear, reversed into a running powerslam.

The next video package is for Roadblock.

Backstage, Bayley is shadowboxing with Sheamus and Cesaro. Enzo walks in and calls them a cuppa haters, Sheamus gets in their faces for interrupting their match last week. Cass says he always has his partner's back. Enzo challenges them to do something about it. A series of staredowns ensue.

Backstage, Michael Cole interviews Samoa Joe. He asks about his tactics, Joe admits that they're dishonourable, but says he's come here to hurt people, and the only person he respects is HHH. Cole asks about why HHH chose this moment to put Joe on Raw, Joe says the results speak for themselves. Cole asks if Joe's there to protect HHH from Seth. Joe says HHH doesn't need to justify anything, and no one is on his level, they didn't hire him before because they were afraid. Cole asks about Rollins' vow to come back and beat HHH, Joe asks if the interview is about him or HHH. He talks about how in two weeks he took out the man, and beat the guy. He says he's here to change everything, and ruin everyone. Cole asks Joe about the number of people who have been put in the same position as him regarding HHH, and been betrayed. Joe says that they all needed to be propped up, but he's here all on his own. He says anyone who gets in his way will learn why the creator unleashed the destroyer.

Match Four: Sami Zayn vs. Rusev

Lockup, Zayn backs Rusev to the corner, break, Rusev backs Zayn to the corner, break, Rusev misses a roundhouse kick, lockup, Rusev with a rear waistlock, transitions to a front facelock, cover for one, chinlock, snapmare, side headlock, Zayn arm drags out, chops, forearm, Rusev with an elbow, punch, boot to the gut, punch, whip, Zayn leapfrogs, dropkick, suicide dive, forearm, rolls Rusev into the ring, forearm, Rusev with a superkick, commercial.

Back on air, Rusev, punches Zayn in the back, bear hug, knees in the ropes, fallaway slam, his face guard pops off, he puts it back on, sets Sami up top, Sami with punches, headbutt, misses a dive, Rusev with a spin kick for two, another cover for two, a third cover for two, knee lift in the corner, slaps, avalanche, misses another splash, hits the post, kick, blocked, Rusev pulls Zayn off the apron, clothesline, rolls him in the ring, follows, Zayn hits a Helluva Kick for three.

Winner: Sami Zayn

Charly Caruso asks Zayn if the win is a confidence boost. He says the match last week was a kick in the ass, especially with Owens costing him the match, but this was a big win. He brings up Samoa Joe name-checking him as someone he's the opposite of, and he takes him to task for it. He starts to mention Wrestlemania, Joe's music hits. He comes from behind the announce table and blindsides Zayn, beating him down across the LED board, then tossing him into it twice. He locks in the Coquina Clutch, letting go after he passes out.

They show a package for Teddy Long going into the Hall of Fame.

Match Five: Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari

Brian Kendrick is on commentary.

Lockup, Daivari with a side headlock, Akira whips his way out, Daivari with a shoulder tackle, trading chops, Tozawa with a slap, snapmare, running boot, running senton for two, Daivari with a trip, hammerlock clothesline for two, mounted punches, knee drop for two, punch, sleeper hold, Tozawa with elbows, hurricanrana, running elbow, suicide dive, rolls him into the ring, goes up top, misses, rolls trhoug, kick, misses a kick, hits a German for three.

Winner: Akira Tozawa

The only complaint I have with that being his finish is that it means we probably only get to see one a match. The most beautiful German in the business.

Festival of Friendship video package cuts to Jericho getting Owens into a match with Goldberg.

Jericho introduces the Festival of Friendship over the 'Tron. A pyro show and line of Showgirls introduce Jericho in a Fedora.

"Alright, Las Vegas! Let me present to you the Festival of Friendship! And the festival wouldn't be complete without my best friend and the WWE Universal Champion, Kevin Owens!"

Owens walks out looking uncomfortable.

Jericho: "What do you think? The festival of friendship is here! Jericho and Owens are here, let the fun begin! The first-ever festival is here, so I need to do something to show how much we really connect. So I had something made, I got in contact with Ralph Guggenheim."

"Who?"

"Ralph Guggenheim, the greatest minimalist-maximalist artist ever. I present to you the art of Jericho, drink it in, man!"

He unveils a sculpture of two figures corkscrewed together.

Owens: "What is it?"

"It's a Guggenheim! Do you know how much this cost me? 7000 dollars, man!"

"Seven thousand? That's... that's a steal."

"This next piece needs no introduction, I present to you The Creation of Kevin!"

He unveils The Creation of Adam with Owens in God's place and himself in Adam's."

Jericho: "I think this will look great on your mantle, above your fireplace."

"You want me to put this in my home? I have two kids, you're not wearing any pants!"

"It takes a while to grow on you, sometimes. For the next bit, when you think of our friendship, you think of magic. So I hired Las Vegas' premiere magician, you all know him, he's the Illuminati of Illusion, Friendship the Magician!"

A magician appears and does a few basic tricks.

Owens: "I don't know how much you paid this guy, but we bought our nine-year-old son a magic kit, and he can do the same trick."

"You know what? You're right. That wasn't very impressive. You know what happens when you don't impress Chris Jericho at the Festival of Friendship? You know what happens? Friendship the Magician? You just made the list! Why don't you do another trick and disappear?"

"Where'd you find that magician?"

"Craigslist..."

"Figures."

"Craigslist magicians aside, those were just the warmups. Now for the main event. I should give you something I should've given you last week. I should make sure that Goldberg never makes it to Fastlane. I should've done it last week, but I'll make it up to you right now as I call Goldberg to the ring. Goldberg, when you come down here, you're going to get..."

He holds out his finger as the crowd screams, "It!" and the show goes to commercial.

When Raw comes back, he finishes his sentence. "It! So Goldberg, get down here now!"

Goldberg's music hits, but Gillberg appears. Owens clobbers Gillberg on the ramp, beats him down, tosses him into the LED board around the ring, steps on him, grabs his title.

Jericho: "You just beat him!"

"Chris, man, listen! I thought the point of this whole thing was to get Goldberg out here so we could beat him, but instead, we get Gillberg? So I can beat him? I don't understand! What is the-- I don't understand, explain this to me, please!"

"I kinda thought the Gillberg thing was pretty funny. I did all this for you. I wanted to do something to explain to you how much you mean to me as a friend. I've had so much fun this past year, having you as a partner, as a friend. It's made this past year my favourite year so far in my career. You've been a large part of that. So thank you, thank you so much. And the greatest present I'm going to give you is that I'm going to make sure that you beat Goldberg. I've got your back. I've got your back, just like I had your back against Sami Zayn, and Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins. I love you, man. I've got your back, okay? And that's never going to change."

"I'm sorry, Chris. It wasn't what I expected, but you obviously went through a lot of trouble, and you obviously have my back. So thank you. And look, I know you have my back at Fastlane, and I know I'll walk out as the Universal Champion. When I saw all this, I got you something. It's not much, especially compared to all this, but I got you something, here, open this. I know it's not much, but..."

"It's perfect, a new list! The other list is getting old, and it's getting beat up, and... how come my name's on this list?"

Owens blindsides Jericho, then beats him down. He tosses everything out of the ring, follows, beats Jericho with the List of KO, tosses him into the barricade, punches to the gut, tosses him into the LED board, smacks him on the back with the jacket, powerbomb onto the apron, rolls Jericho into the ring, tosses him into the glass Festival of Friendship sign. He grabs his Universal Championship to a cascade of boos, then leaves.

After a commercial, Jericho is taken off in an ambulance.

Enzo and Cass come out for a match.

"My name is (etc.) So, uh, I'm gonna give you people my Cesaro Analysis. One minute, you come out here claiming to be a Swiss Superman. Then the next minute, you're coming out here like James Bond. And the next moment after that, you tear off your Velcro breakaways and look like a Baywatch lifeguard. I'm gonna save you the Hassle-hoff. You can let your bae watch, but it don't make a difference, because you can take your best shot and you will Swiss miss. Because you choke-a-lot. Get it? Chocolate."

"So how about we take that Swiss miss and top it off with some marshmellows?"

Match Six: Enzo Amore vs. Cesaro

Enzo with punches, Cesaro with a gutwrench suplex, tosses Enzo to the floor, which one of them botches, Enzo with a sunset flip, blocked, Cesaro with a two-handed chokebomb into a backbreaker, double foot stomp, toss to the corner, running European uppercut, chop, Uppercut Train, Enzo with a boot, Tornado DDT, Cesaro hits a Very European Uppercut for three.

Winner: Cesaro

Cass gets in Sheamus' face, Cesaro holds Sheamus back after the bell.

They show the video package on the history of Rosa Parks.

Backstage, Charlotte confronts Sasha and says she should be banned for destroying morale. Sasha says she gave as good as she got, Charlotte says she's going to win even though Sasha can't.

Main Event: Women's Championship: Charlotte (c) vs. Bayley

Lockup, Charlotte presses Bayley to the ropes, break, lockup, Charlotte with an arm wrench, takedown, keylock, Bayley rolls through, Charlotte tosses her down, Bayley with a rollup for two, arm drag, arm wrench, mutual roll-through, another, rollup for one, Charlotte retreats to the ropes, Bayley with a side headlock, Charlotte presses her to the corner, chop, Bayley with a chop, Charlotte rolls to the floor, thousand-yard stare, commercial.

Back on air, Charlotte hits a big knee lift, tosses Bayley to the corner, then to the adjacent corner, another time, a third time, Bayley hulks up, tosses Charlotte into the turnbuckle repeatedly, one final wind-up shot, springboard crossbody for two, Charlotte with a rear waistlock, reversed, Charlotte with a rollup into the bottom turnbuckle, mounted punches, choke in the ropes, boot to the back, foot choke, chop, swinging chinlock, Bayley breaks with a Stunner, elbow, misses a clothesline, Charlotte hits a backbreaker into a neckbreaker, holds the position for a submission, hooks a leg, Bayley elbows out, Charlotte with a stomp for two, handstand knee drop, another knee, running knee drop, whip to the corner, chop, chinlock, dragon sleeper, Bayley flips in the ropes and reverses the hold, knees to the back, tosses Charlotte to the corner, whip to the corner, reversed, Bayley dodges an avalanche by sliding to the apron, Charlotte big boots her to the floor, follows her, boot to the face, steps on her, standing moonsault from the barricade, rolls her into the ring, covers for two, another cover for two, cover for one, chops, Bayley with a shot, blocks a boot, forearms, Charlotte with a chop, mutual crossbody, Bayley with a pair of clotheslines, headlock tackle, mounted punches, avalanche, suplex, goes up top, spinning back elbow for two, hangman's bulldog, Charlotte with an elbow, misses a clothesline, Bayley hits a side suplex, goes up top, elbow drop for two, whip to the corner, Charlotte rolls through, hits a boot, goes up top, Bayley hits an elbow, punch, follows Charlotte up top, super hurricanrana for two, calls for a Bayley to Belly, Dana Brooke runs in, Charlotte with a rollup, reversed into a Figure Four by Bayley, Dana Brooke rakes Bayley's eyes, Charlotte locks in the Figure 8, Sasha Banks clubs Dana with the crutch, then clubs Charlotte, Bayley to Belly for three!

Winner and NEW Women's Champion: Bayley

I really don't know how I feel about that being the timing. The rumour was a Daniel Bryan-esque title chase culminating at Wrestlemania, instead we got a Raw change. Bayley celebrates in the crowd as Raw goes off the air.