Date: 03/26	7:00 PM
Views: 570

Tonight our regular Raw recapper Ian Clark at 8 PM ET covers Raw for March 26th, 2018 -- that's right it's the fifth Raw after Elimination Chamber 2018! Please hit F5 or refresh while the show is in progress for the latest updates.

Raw opens with Brock Lesnar hitting the ring with Paul Heyman.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. Tonight, thirteen days before conquering the grandest stage of them all, I present to you the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lesnar! We are, almost to the minute, seven days from what was a savage beating by Brock Lesnar. And while I am unquestionably the greatest orator in the history of World Wrestling Entertainment, not even my articulation can do the justice of a visualization. To wit, I call your collective opinions zero, and your collective attention to the screen. (footage of last week's opening segment airs) This is where, if you watch the news channels, they have that little thing that scrolls across the bottom of the screen, it says 'breaking news'. And it is breaking. Ladies and gentlemen, the temporary suspension of Roman Reigns has been lifted. Which means, for everyone who's watching whose heart just started racing, because they know that any second now, Paul Heyman's going to be interrupted by that music (starts humming Reigns' theme), here's breaking news number two: Roman Reigns is here tonight. And for those of you who think you know the script, and here's where I say 'The credit for this goes to Brock Lesnar', no, no, no. I can't give all the credit to Brock Lesnar. Because Roman was raised by his father, Sika, and his uncle, Afa, and all the Samoans who ruled in WWE and raised Roman Reigns to be a badass, and raised Roman Reigns to fight, and raised Roman Reigns to wrestle, and raise Roman Reigns to win, it's a shame they didn't raise him to be a man. Hey, it wasn't me who said it, or Brock Lesnar. Wasn't it Roman Reigns who said, 'Hey, I'm here every week, whether I'm advertised or not.' Hey, you're advertised! But Roman Reigns is not here, two weeks before Wrestlemania. And if the beating had gone the other way, and Roman had been smart enough to go down to the local Mixed Martial Arts school and found three really good students, dressed them up like US Marshalls, put the handcuffs on Brock Lesnar, then come down and laid a beating on Brock Lesnar, then Brock Lesnar would come down like King Kong on his knuckles, and lay the Universal Championship in the middle of the ring and say, 'Hey Roman, take this from me!' But Roman isn't man enough to take another beating from Brock Lesnar. And that's why, in two weeks, Roman Reigns isn't man enough to take the Universal Championship from the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, Brock--"

Roman Reigns comes through the crowd with a chair, Brock meets him on the floor and clotheslines him, drags him up, Roman shoves Brock into the ring post, grabs the chair, blasts Brock across the back, then a second time, a third time, Superman Punch using the steel steps, caught, Brock hits a German Suplex, picks up the steel steps, brains Roman in the skull with them, tosses them in the ring, rolls Roman after them, picks up the chair, climbs in the ring, nails Roman with the stairs again, picks up the chair, threatens a referee who tries to stop it, hits Roman in the back three times, the fans chant for one more, get it. Brock walks off. Then he comes back in and F5s Roman onto the stairs. Then he stands atop the stairs with his championship.

After a commercial, Roman limps to the back.

Match One: Nia Jax vs. Mickie James

Nia charges, Mickie dodges, lockup, Nia with a shove, lockup, Nia tosses Mickie aside, commercial.

Back on air, Nia tosses Mickie across the ring, then back, Mickie tries to escape to the floor, Nia grabs her by the hair, Mickie with a slap, Nia follows to the floor, Bliss with a distraction, Mickie tackles Nia, then clubs her in the back, climbs back into the ring, Nia beats the count at 7, Mickie with stomps to the knee, Nia with a shove, Mickie with stomps, Nia throws her down, Mickie with a dropkick to the knee, knees to the gut in the corner, Nia with a body slam, misses a leg drop, Mickie with a running big boot for two, cover for one, mounted punches, Nia to her feet, Mickie goes for a leaping DDT, Nia blocks, misses an avalanche, Mickie with a boot to the knee, goes up top, boot to the face, Mickie picks Mickie up off the top rope, gorilla press into a Samoan Drop for three.

Winner: Nia Jax

Bliss tackles Nia after the bell, Nia stares back at her and swings as Bliss, who runs away. Nia screams at her from the ring that she can't run away at Wrestlemania, then walks out after Bliss.

They show a video package for The Authority. HHH says this is all about ego, and Kurt and Ronda couldn't just let Ronda's signing be the start of her doing her job. They accuse their opponents of wanting everything to be all about them. Stephanie says this is about showing them who makes the rules, and who's boss. HHH says both of them, including Stephanie, got where they are purely by merit. Their trainer talks about how they aren't getting in shape for this match, they started out there because they train all year 'round. Stephanie says that she'll have no problem beating Ronda. HHH says that Angle will have nothing to lose, since he's been losing to HHH his entire career, but for Ronda, she's going to lose to an executive on her first night. Stephanie says that, when it's over, Ronda works for her. They agree that, when it's over, they'll help Ronda repackage herself and get back on track.

Match Two: Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak and TJP

Match begins during commercial, back on air TJP has Ali in a chinlock, clothesline for two, body slam, springboard senton, Gulak in, body slam for two, Ali with a chop, Gulak with a chop, whip to the corner, back body drop for two, wrenches the neck, body slam, blocked, Gulak punches Cedric, Ali with an elbow, springboard Tornado DDT, double tag, Cedric with a clothesline, head scissors, dropkick, blocks a kick, hits a European uppercut, charges, TJP presses him to the apron, Cedric with a swing kick, top rope clothesline as gulak breaks the count, Ali leaps from TJP's back to dropkick Gulak to the floor, suicide dive (mostly misses), TJP with a rollup with tights for two, Detonation Kick, blocked, Ali in, Cedric with a dropkick, Lumbar Check, the ref informs him that he's not legal anymore, Ali hits the 054 for three.

Winners: Mustafa Ali and Cedric Alexander

MizTV is set up in the ring. "I live in LA. Welcome to the most must-see talk show in WWE, welcome to MizTV! Before I bring out my guest, I have some personal business to address. Some people like to talk about things behind closed doors, I like to get it out in the open. Bo, Curtis, how do you feel about this whole Miztourage thing? You having fun? Enjoying yourselves? You should be, you're on my team! Are you happy? Because I'm not! Less than a year ago, you were swimming in mediocrity, I brought you opportunity, I brought you Mizzies, and how do you repay me? By letting me down when I need you the most. Two weeks in a row, I've been left laying because the two of you weren't here for me."

Curtis: "I know you're upset--"

Miz: "Damn right I'm upset!"

Bo: "We're doing our best."

Miz: "Your best? Why don't you Bo-lieve yourself back to catering, because you'd be nothing without me!"

Seth Rollins comes out. "Normally, I'm not a fan of MizTV, but I think we can agree that this is excellent. Go on, it looks like you guys have a problem."

Miz: "The only problem here is you! This isn't a problem, this is just some personal business."

Seth: "Well maybe I can help mediate. As long as I'm out here, I might as well help. It sounds like Bo and Axel just want to hear you say thank you."

Miz: "Thank you? Are you kidding me?"

Seth: "No, I'm not! You should be thanking them every day, because without them, you wouldn't be Intercontinental Champion. I'd be getting billboards with their faces on them that said 'Thank you'. I'd be leading the crowd in Miztourage chants every night. Miztourage! Miztourage!"

Miz: "I elevated their careers, not the other way around! Without them, I'd still be Intercontinental Champion, I'd still be--"

Bo: "A phony a-lister who can't fight."

Seth: "I don't think we heard that. Bo, if you've got something to say, you should say it."

Miz: "Yeah, what did you say?"

Finn Balor comes out. "I'm also a guest on tonight's show, and I thought I could be of some help. I know it can be hard to hear when someone's standing next to you, but I heard it crystal clear. Bo called him the biggest jerk he's ever met."

Bo: "Hold on, I did not call him a jerk."

Finn: "Maybe it wasn't crystal clear, but it was something like jerk, coward--"

Bo: "I said he was a phony a-lister who can't fight, that's what I said."

Miz: "Say it again."

Bo: "I said you were a phon--"

Miz slaps him, Bo gets in his face, Axel pulls them apart and tells them to calm down.

Miz: "Calm down? I'm trying to fire you up! We're less than two weeks away, and you're letting us fall apart before the playoffs? I am 39 days away from becoming the longest-reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time, that means I'll be better than Shawn Michaels, better than Randy Savage, better than Mr. Perfect."

Axel stares daggers at him.

Miz: "Okay, that one slipped out. I didn't mean that."

Finn: "No, it sounded like he meant it."

Miz: "I'm sorry everyone here tonight, but MizTV is cancelled. Let's just get out of here."

Bo and Axel block his path.

Miz: "Look, guys, I'm sorry. Don't do this, nobody wants to see this!"

They stare him down, Finn and Seth sneak up behind him and do their best troll face, Miztourage attack Finn and Seth, beat them down, Balor Club hit the ring and start beating Miztourage down, leaving Miz alone in the ring, he turns around to see Finn still there, swings with the championship, misses, Finn with a Slingblade, Seth goes for a Curb Stomp, Miz ducks and rolls out of the ring. Seth yells that Miz isn't smarter than the architect. Finn picks up the Intercontinental Championship, stares at the sign, Seth picks up the title and holds it up, Finn shoves Seth out of the way of a Miz tackle and hits Miz with a clothesline, Seth clotheslines Miz over the top rope, Finn clotheslines Seth.

Backstage, Kane tells John Cena that some demons don't want to be disturbed, they want to rest in peace. Tonight, he'll suffer for his indiscretion, and he won't go to Wrestlemania, he's going straight to Hell.

Match Three: Asuka vs. Jamie Frost

On the floor, Charly Caruso asks Frost why she thinks she can beat Asuka. Frost says Asuka says no one's ready for her, but Asuka doesn't know who she is, so Asuka isn't ready for her.

Asuka misses a clothesline, Frost hits a series of forearms, slap, Asuka with a roundhouse kick for three.

Winner: Asuka

Michael Cole starts talking about the Ultimate Deletion, Corey Graves points to Matt Hardy's tweet where he said that Michael Cole is on surveilance for his blasphemy last week. Then they show a clip recap of the match.

Matt is backstage, he says that the essence of Bray Wyatt's vessel is no more, and Bray's vessel is full of Señor Benjamin's spring daisies. He says that the Great War is over, and so he's entering the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royale.

Michael Cole calls the promo obnoxious. He gonna get it.

They show a recap of the issues between Bayley and Sasha. Backstage, Sasha tells Bayley she got her text, and Bayley says good, because all she wanted to say is that she's entering the battle royale. Sasha asks if they're going to talk about last week, Bayley says there's nothing to talk about. Sasha calls her passive aggressive, Bayley says Sasha likes her passive. Sasha says she does put herself first, and maybe Bayley should do the same. Bayley says Sasha keeps screwing her over because she knows she can't beat her. Sasha reminds her that she's a four-time Women's Champion, Bayley asks how long she kept the title. Sasha attacks Bayley, and they brawl until Sasha takes definitive control. Referees finally pry them apart. DO NOT HAVE THIS NOT BE A SINGLES MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA! The pull-apart doesn't take, and they're back to brawling, before they're pulled apart for good.

Match Four: Braun Strowman vs. Sheamus

Sheamus and Cesaro cut a promo on the ramp and say they've got Braun figured out: it's all about the element of surprise. He scares people with his music. They ask Braun to tell them his partner now, because they want a proper match. Cesaro points out that they're an open book. Braun says he'll reveal the partner if Sheamus beats him. Sheamus says that's not fair, and demands an answer. Braun says maybe they'll get an answer, but he guarantees they'll get these hands.

Cesaro distracts, Sheamus with punches from behind, whip, blocked, Braun with punches in the corner, toss across the ring, Sheamus throws him to the floor, drops him across the top rope, Ten Beats, blocked, Braun delivers just one chop, sending Sheamus to the floor, rolls him into the ring, Sheamus to the apron, Braun tackles him to the floor, into the barricade, commercial.

Back on air, Sheamus ducks a big boot, stomps the knee repeatedly, DDT, stomps, wrenches the arm in the ropes, break, bicycle kick to the gut, arm wringers, kicks, keylock, Braun to his feet, pair of clotheslines, Sheamus to the floor, Braun follows, tackles Sheamus, whip into the barricade, rolls him into the ring, charges, Sheamus tosses him into the ring post, top rope clothesline for one, stomps, Braun with a punch to Cesaro, ducks a Brogue Kick, hits an avalanche, powerslam for three.

Winner: Braun Strowman

Kurt Angle hits the ring after a commercial. "We're two weeks away from Wrestlemania, which means we're two weeks away from Stephanie McMahon and HHH standing across the ring from me, and my partner, the baddest woman on the planet, Rowdy Ronda Rousey!"

Rousey comes out.

Kurt: "Ronda, I know that Wrestlemania is the most intimidating stage for anyone to compete on for the very first time. But after the past two weeks, watching you train and your determination, you're ready. You're ready for Wrestlemania! And hearing what HHH and Stephanie said earlier, that they make the rules, they're right. They're prepared for everything. Wrestlemania is going to be a lot of fun, but it's not going to be easy."

"I didn't come here for easy. And Stephanie is tough. But she's trust fund tough. She's limousine tough. And she's personal trainer tough. But she's going to get everything she deserves, which is me ripping her arm out of her socket."

Absolution come out.

Paige: "Ronda Rousey! You know, the one thing that will sabotage you in the WWE is not having any friends. I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Paige, and this is Absolution. And we'd like to formally welcome you to Monday Night Raw! I don't know if you know this or not, but this is our show, and this is my house. Now, I get it, you grew up watching the WWE, and that's great, but the thing about WWE is that you get lost in the shuffle. And we just thought you might need some backup. What do you say?"

Ronda: "I appreciate it, but I've got an Olympic gold medalist watching my 6 o'clock. I'm good."

Paige: "If Kurt Angle had your back, and no disrespect Kurt, you're an Olympic gold medalist and the best General Manager Raw has ever had. But if Kurt had your back, you wouldn't be an enemy to HHH and Stephanie. We can have your back, and you can become the fourth member of Absolution."

Ronda: "Thank you for the offer, but no."

Paige: "I mean, I understand, you just made your choice, Ronda. Unfortunately it's not a good one. So you could have had a best friend in us, baby girl, but instead you made some worst enemies."

Deville and Rose hit the ring, Sonya charges, Ronda punches her, Rose goes for a sucker punch, Ronda exploder suplexes her into Sonya. Angle holds her arm up, Rose charges, Ronda with a hip toss, locks in an armbar as Angle tries to talk her down. Ronda listens instead of breaking Rose's arm.

They show a replay of Reigns getting brained.

Match Five: Gallows and Anderson vs. Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel

Match begins durring commercial, back on air Axel is beating down Anderson, punches Gallows off the apron, Anderson beats on Axel, goes up top, Axel shoves him off the top rope, Bo in, punches on the floor, rolls him back in the ring, covers for two, chinlock, Anderson to his feet, punches, Bo keeps pressure on, takes him down, Axel in, clothesline, shove to the corner, Bo in, avalanche, clothesline, whip into an Axel STO for two, chinlock, Anderson to his feet, spinebuster, double tag, Gallows with a pair of clotheslines, punch to Bo, avalanche to Axel, big boot, pump handle slam, splash, Anderson in, Boot of Doom for two as Bo breaks the count, Gallows pulls him to the floor, Bo with a punch, Gallows with a thrust kick, Axel boots Anderson in the gut, Perfectplex, blocked, hits a punch instead, Anderson with a forearm, goes up top, neckbreaker, Gallows in, Magic Killer for three.

Winners: Gallows and Anderson

They show a tweet from Charlotte where she says Asuka will be a challenge, but New Orleans is the place where streaks end.

Elias hits the ring. "Hello, I am Elias. And I have one question for everybody here tonight: who wants to walk with Elias? Now in this kingdom of madness, there are those who walk and those who do not walk yet. But in thirteen days, on the grandest stage of them all, I will give the performance of a lifetime, and everyone will know what they have always known, that WWE stands for Walk With Elias! Now I feel good, I feel electric! Just last week, I sold out Madison Square Garden in New York City! So you can imagine, coming to Cleveland is a huge disappointment. I'm not happy to be here tonight, but I'm in good company, my brother Lebron James told me he felt the same way when he came back here from Miami. But just like me at the end of the night, Lebron will leave you again. His bags are already packed. But I have written a song, so it would be a disappointment if I didn't play it tonight. So silence your cell phones, hold your applause, and most importantly, shut your mouths.

Wrestlemania on the horizon/Stuck in this town/Only thing more embarrassing for me/Would be if I was a Cleveland Brown/Ronda wants me as a partner/Said it right to me/Wrestlemania's nothing without me/I'm WWE!"

Match Six: Elias vs. Rhyno

Lockup, Elias with punches, chops, Rhyno with chops, toss to the corner, whip, reversed, Rhyno with a shoulder tackle, headbutt, Elias with an elbow, another, stomps, chinlock, Rhyno punches his way out, Elias with a clothesline, misses an elbow drop, Rhyno with punches, whip, Elias with a punch, Rhyno with a pair of clotheslines, punches in the corner, Elias responds in kind, whip, reversed, Elias with a boot, clothesline, Drift Away for three.

Winner: Elias

Heath Slater rushes to his partner's aid, gets a beating.

They show a recap of John Cena calling out Undertaker.

Main Event: No Disqualification: John Cena vs. Kane

Cena opens with body blows, Kane with punches, punch to the chest, punch to the face, punch, Cena with punches, Kane with a boot, rolls Cena to the floor, follows, toss into the barricade, punch, rolls Cena into the ring, double axe handle for two, chinlock, Cena to his feet, AA, the move is not completed as Cena's back gives out, Kane covers for two, punches on the floor, Cena with punches, whip, reversed, Cena hits the steel steps, commercial.

Back on air, Kane and Cena are brawling in the tech area, Cena nails Kane with a chair, grabs part of the barricade, nails Kane with it, sets it up on a diagonal against the announce table's platform, Kane suplexes Cena onto the portion, punch, tosses him back across the barricade into the ringside area, rolls Cena into the ring, goes to take the turnbuckle pad off, Cena sits up like The Undertaker, hits a shoulder tackle, another, protoplex, You Can't See Me, 5-Knuckle Shuffle, tosses Kane into the exposed turnbuckle, crosses his throat, chokeslams Kane for two, grabs a table, rolls it in the ring, climbs in, sets the table up, Kane sits up, boot to the gut, body slam, blocked, Cena goes for an AA, Kane upends the table, slides off Cena's shoulders, punch, sets the table up in the corner, stomp, Cena with punches, Kane with a boot to the gut, tosses Cena through the table, cover for two, grabs another table, rolls it into the ring, sets it up, calls for a chokeslam, attempts it, Cena rolls out, AA through the table for three.

Winner: John Cena

Cena grabs a mic. "No lightning? No bells of terror, no Undertaker? This is a match with no rules! Anything can happen and anyone can be here! Where are you? Undertaker! (holds the mic to the crowd for them to chant 'Undertaker') I know you're not deaf, you're just a coward! Night after night, city after city, sold out crowd after sold out crowd, they chant your name! You don't get to be mysterious here, silence is not an answer. It's either yes or it's no. I'm fine with no, because I will go to Wrestlemania as a fan. But get your eyes out of the back of your head, and look at the energy when they chant 'yes', when they chant 'Undertaker', when they chant 'Do something' for god's sake! Do something! Because now, you only have one week left. One week that sums up your entire career! You can do something, or you can do nothing. And if you do nothing, you let me down, you sure as hell let Kane down, but most importantly, you've made it crystal clear to every single person who has ever believed in The Undertaker that you do not care about them, you only care about yourself. I hope, for the sake of all that is good in this ring, that I see you next week."

Cena walks up the ramp, then crosses his throat as his eyes roll into the back of his head and Raw goes off the air.