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Ian Clark's Final Raw Before Mania 34 Recap!! Apr. 2nd, 2018


Date: 04/02 7:00 PM
Views: 1,496
WWE Raw Logo

Written by Ian Clark

Tonight our regular Raw recapper Ian Clark at 8 PM ET covers Raw for April 2nd, 2018 -- that's right it's the final Raw before WrestleMania 34! Please hit F5 or refresh while the show is in progress for the latest updates.

Raw opens with the Coach in the middle of the ring on a podium. "Welcome to Monday Night Raw! We are just six nights away from Wrestlemania, the road to Wrestlemania is almost finished. We are going to start tonight with our in-ring face-off between two teams that will face off at Wrestlemania. Introducing first, she is the commissioner of Monday Night Raw, Stephanie McMahon!"

Stephanie comes out.

Coach: "And her partner, her husband, the COO of WWE, he is the King of Kings, he is the Game, HHH!"

Coach: "And now their opponents. First, he is the General Manager of Monday Night Raw, a WWE Hall of Famer, Olympic gold medalist, please welcome Kurt Angle!"

Angle comes out.

Coach: "And his partner. She is the baddest woman on the planet, please welcome Rowdy Ronda Rousey!"

Rousey comes out.

Coach: "Thank you all for joinung me here tonight, for this face-off. Now, the WWE Universe has submitted questions, so let's--"

HHH: "Hold on a second Coach, thank you for that, but before we get into that, I have a question for Kurt. It's a shame, you know. You see all these people out here chanting Ronda Rousey. It's unfortunate. They really want to like you, but that deafening roar of 'Ronda Rousey' will become a deafening roar of silence. And it's all because of the guy sitting next to you. Kurt Angle. Intensity, integrity, intelligence, won a gold medal with a broken freakin' neck. The three I's, the first two I never disagreed with, but since the day I met you, I've never thought you were intelligent. Ronda Rousey, the biggest signee in WWE history, her first night, you set her up for failure, you set her up for embarrassment, and I want to know why."

Kurt: "Let me explain that--"

Ronda: "I want to know why. I want to know why you would be so two-faced as to sign me with ulterior motives."

Steph: "Forgive her, she's a little rough around the edges, she doesn't get the format. We're going to polish her up after she loses on Sunday."

Ronda: "I get the format. It's a Q&A. I asked my question, where's my answer?"

Steph: "We brought you here because you are a huge star. This crowd is a testament to that. But my husband asked Kurt Angle a question. Kurt Angle who works for me, who cost you millions of dollars--"

HHH: "Cost WWE millions of dollars, by the way."

Steph: "So it's Kurt's turn to answer, and who the hell do you think you are?"

Angle: "I can take this one: she's Ronda frickin' Rousey. Olympic medalist, and the woman who's going to make you tap out."

HHH: "Oh, I know who she is. She's Ronda frickin' Rousey! Olympic medalist, UFC Champion, they built entire divisions around her. But in WWE, that means precisely nothing. She's wanted to come to WWE her whole life. For Stephanie, and for me, WWE is our whole life. She has no idea what's going to happen Sunday. We know the rules, we make the rules. She's going to lose, it's a foregone conclusion."

Coach: "This first question is for all of you. How important is it for you to win, and what happens if you do?"

Steph: "It's not if we win, it's when we win. And we will show that, whenever there's an uprising, your bosses will cut the head off of it. We will break you down, and you will respect authority."

Coach: "Kurt, how do you feel about tagging with Ronda?"

Kurt: "Ronda Rowdy (sic) is the baddest woman on the planet. And she's going to make you tap out!"

Coach: "Last one, do you have any last words?"

Steph: "Ronda, just remember that you chose this path. Your first match will go down in the record books as a loss to me. And we all know, the world knows, how you handle losses. Nice jacket by the way."

Ronda: "Hey, Steph, are you right or left handed?"

Steph: "I'm a righty, of course, why?"

Ronda: "I just want to make sure you can sign my cheques after I rip it off."

Coach: "Okay, I think that's a good place to stop, let's leave it for Sunday. Before we end, we need to get the usual pre-match photo-op, but I don't think it can be like boxing or UFC where it gets out of hand, we need to do things the classy way. So let's get our photographers out here in front of this table, if you could take your positions. And this Sunday, I wish you all the very best."

They meet in front of the tables. Kurt and HHH reluctantly shake hands, Stephanie offers her hand, Ronda refuses, Angle steps between them, HHH clubs him with a mic, Ronda grabs HHH by the throat, Stephanie chokeslams her through a table.

Match One: Bayley vs. Sonya Deville

Sonya with a roundhouse kick, another, Bayley with a big boot, Sonya with a whip to the corner, Bayley leapfrogs, snapmare, side headlock, Sonya whips out, elbow, misses, Bayley with a whip, reversed, Bayley with a crossbody, side headlock, snapmare using the turnbuckle as a launch pad, Sonya tosses her to the corner, shoulder tackles, Bayley drops her across the top rope, goes up top, elbow, top rope arm drag, botches it, covers for two, armbar, shoulder breaker, armbar, whip, reversed, reversed again, Sonyawith a palm strike, kick, rolls Bayley to the floor, commercial.

Back on air, Sonya has Bayley in a body scissors, Bayley slams Sonya's head into the canvas, then a second time, Sonya with a spinebuster for two, knees to the chest, running knee, cover for two, roundhouse kicks in the corner, Bayley ducks one, blocks a forearm, hits a series of forearms, clothesline, another, toss to the corner, stomps, punches, goes up top, crossbody, running knee for two, Sonya rolls to the floor, Bayley follows, stalks Sonya as Absolution menaces her, Sonya with a forearm, toss into the ring, reversed, Bayley with a hangman's Stunner for two, knocks Rose off the corner, Sonya with a punch to the gut, rollup for two, misses a punch, Bayley with a rollup for three.

Winner: Bayley

Mandy Rose attacks, Sonya joins in, Sasha hits the ring andbeats them down, tosses Rose to the floor, Bayley tosses Sonya to the floor, Sasha asks Bayley to raise her hand, Bayley says she didn't need her help, Sasha gets in her face, Bayley attacks Sasha, they brawl, Absolution swoops in and beats them both down.

They show a package for Asuka's undefeated streak, then announce that Miz and Maryse had their baby.

Match Two: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

Miz is on commentary.

Lockup, Rollins with a rear waistlock, reversed into a hammerlock, Rollins reverses into a side headlock, reversed into a side headlock, reversed into a wristlock, Finn with an arm drag, Seth escapes, snapmare, side headlock, Finn escapes, staredown, Seth with a front racelock, Finn reverses into a hammerlock, kimura, arm wrench, Seth escapes, shoulder tackle, snapmare, side headlock, Finn whips his way out, pair of arm drags, armbar, whip, Seth with a shoulder tackle, Finn with an arm drag, commercial.

Back on air, Seth with a sunset flip, reversed into a dropkick, Finn with an arm wringer, shoulder tackle, slap, Seth with a shove, Finn with a shove, trading punches, Seth tosses Finn to the floor, chop, tosses Finn into the apron, then into the barricade, rolls him into the ring, Finn dropkicks him to the floor, running knee from the apron, rolls Rollins into the ring, covers for one, crevat, kick to the back, cover for one, chop in the corner, another, chop in the adjacent corner, whip, Rollins with an STO into the turnbuckle, Blockbuster for two, knee to the back, chinlock, neckbreaker, rolls to the floor, big boots a prone Finn on the apron, covers for two, trading chops, pair of clotheslines, another, chop in the corner, whip, Rollins with a boot, goes up top, Finn pulls him down, 1916, reversed into a rollup for two, Finn with an Eye of the Hurricane for two, Slingblade, blocked, Rollins hits a Slingblade, Finn to the floor, commercial.

Back on air, Finn with a Slingblade, Rollins with a superkick for two, clothesline in the corner, misses a second, Finn with a swing kick from the apron, goes up top, Seth takes him down, follows, Finn with punches, Seth falls, leaps back up, superplex, into a falcon arrow, reversed into a rollup for two, Rollins hits a Ripcord Knee for two, goes up top, frog splash, blocked by knees, Finn with a rollup for two, kick to the floor from the apron, blocked, Rollins goes for a powerbomb into the barricade, blocked, Finn with a Slingblade, dropkick into the barricade, rolls Seth into the ring, goes up top, misses a Coup de Gras, Rollins with a kick to the gut, Curb Stomp, reversed into a rollup for two, reversed into a rollup for two, Curb Stomp for three.

Winner: Seth Rollins

Backstage, Seth Rollins is talking to someone on the phone about Brock going back to the UFC. Kurt Angle walks in and asks to talk to him. Angle says that he's being pulled into a lot of different directions, and he's worried about the main event staying intact. Heyman proposes no drama tonight. Angle says he's concerned for Brock's safety as well as Roman's, and Heyman laughs that off.

The Bar hit the ring.

Sheamus: "Braun Strowman! You need to listen up, fella!"

"We've been thinking, and we don't care who your tag team partner is."

"We don't care, because it really doesn't matter to us."

"No matter how big you are, this is a tag team match, and sooner or later, you need to tag in your partner."

"You need to tag him in, and you need to know what his plan is, and you need to have a plan A, B, C, D, and E."

"And you'll never have that, because you'll never be a real team. And you'll never have these."

Both: "Because we don't just set the bar, we are the bar!"

Braun comes out. "If you're trying to say that I don't play well with others, then you're right. But management has made it clear that I have to have a partner if I want to challenge for the titles, so I got one. And I was just talking to him in the back, and he doesn't appreciate what you two clowns were saying."

Cesaro: "Well if he has a problem with what we're saying, why doesn't he say it to our faces?"

Braun: "He will, under one stipulation: he wants a match with one of you."

They consult each other.

Sheamus: "Normally, I'd love to disagree with these people, but you have a deal. If your partner wants a match, let's have it."

Braun: "Oh, I'll go get him. But I have to warn you, he's a lot like me. Just a little different."

Braun comes out with glasses and a vest. "My brother's Braun, I'm brains, and I'm about to come down there and knock yours out of your head!"

He hits the ring, and The Bar start to double team him, it eventually works, Brogues Kick to the face, beatdown, Braun takes control again, tosses both members of The Bar out of the ring.

Goldust pledges to win the André the Giant Memorial Battle Royale. Woken Matt Hardy says he's been training with the giants of legend, and he'll win. He sentences Goldust to deletion.

Match Three: Goldust vs. Matt Hardy

Match begins during commercial, back on air both men trade punches, Matt calls for a standing ovation for Goldust, punch, whip to the corner, Goldust with a boot, toss into the ring post, slap, stomps, Matt with punches, Goldust with a spinebuster for two, Matt with punches, clothesline in the corner, Side Effect for two, Goldust with a clothesline, goes up top, misses an elbow drop, Twist of Fate, reversed into a rollup for two, kick to the gut, drop-down punch, blocked, Matt hits a Twist of Fate for three.

Winner: Matt Hardy

He chants "Procure!" at the trophy.

Alexa and Mickie do a hand-cam promo about how Renee Young is wasting her time interviewing Nia tonight. They also call her fat a bunch.

John Cena hits the ring. "I hate saying this, but I was wrong. I was wrong 'cause we're out of time. And there's still no answer. So I was wrong. In this case, because we just have no more time left, silence means no. No Undertaker. Some people may be upset about that news, not me. I did every single possible thing I could to get Undertaker to do something. And with Wrestlemania just around the corner, I am not going with my head down, I'm going into Wrestlemania fired up! People keep asking me, 'Well John, what is your match?' I don't know how you can understand that I'm going to Wrestlemania as a fan. Michael Cole walked up to me and said that was stupid. Just enter the Battle Royale. Be Braun's partner if he needs it. Just enter one of the triple threats or Fatal 4 Ways. You didn't do your homework, or you would know why that's not happening. I lost to Roman, I lost at Survivor Series, I lost at the Royal Rumble, I lost at Fastlane. If I was to enter one of those matches, I would be taking a spot away from a full-time WWE Superstar who busts their ass all year. That was why I wanted this match, it was a last chance. A last chance for me, for Undertaker, to face off and neither of us could be accused of stopping someone's momentum, of taking it away from them. One year ago today, my life changed forever, and Nicole, if you're watching, thank you for this morning, I'll be home soon. I know people read the headlines, there's a lot going on in my life, so this year, I'm thinking it's time for a change. I'm going to Wrestlemania as a fan, and I'm damn proud of it! I'm going to be sitting there, and watching Superstars like Seth Rollins and Finn Balor help put on the greatest Wrestlemania of all time. I'm proud that, after three years of never giving up, Daniel Bryan is in the ring. I'm proud of the fact that one of the greatest in-ring wrestlers I know, AJ Styles, will get the WWE Championship Wrestlemania match he's always deserved. I'm proud that Wrestlemania falls on Rusev Day! I'm excited for Elias. Not sure what he's going to do, but I know what WWE stands for. I'm proud not just for one, but for all of the Women's Matches. They have proven that success does not depend on gender. So I'll be going to Wrestlemania as a fan and I'm damn proud of it! I want to apologize for The Undertaker, because I tried as loud as I could to get his attention. I did it out here, I did it on social media. You tried too. Fans in Dallas, people in Detroit, folks in Cleveland, fans right here in Atlanta. Actually, did we even try here tonight? I mean did we really try? Maybe if we make enough noise we can summon The Undertaker. Nah, I don't think you can make enough noise. (crowd cheers) Sounds like Atlanta is as serious as a Dallas warm-up. Nah, nah, if you're serious, if you really want this, you gotta make enough noise to summon The Undertaker. (crowd cheers) Hotlanta, Hotlanta, Hotlanta, you gotta listen to me! If you want the lightning, you gotta be the thunder! Let him hear your ass all the way to Death Valley! (crowd cheers even louder, starts chanting for Undertaker) Hear them, Undertaker? That is the fourth week straight that an entire arena have poured their hearts out for you, and you haven't had the decency to do a damn thing. Am I disappointed for Wrestlemania? Nah. But am I disappointed for The Undertaker? Hell yeah. Disrespect me all you want, but the second you turn your backs on these people, you're a dead man walking. It's clear to everyone here that you left your hat in the ring last year, but you left your balls at home."

Cena's music hits, and he walks off.

Backstage, Angle tells Roman not to ruin his opportunity at Wrestlemania tonight. He mentions speaking to Paul, and Roman says he doesn't believe Heyman. Roman agrees to hear Paul out out of respect for Angle, but if Brock or Heyman says anything after six years of disrespect, he's coming out there.

Elias is in the ring. "Hello, I am Elias. And I have one question for everyone here tonight: who wants to walk with Elias? Now if you want your soul to be saved, you need to know what everyone will know come Sunday Night, which is that WWE stands for Walk With Elias! Another sold-out crowd screaming my name. Here I am in Atlanta. Atlanta? Let me get this straight, the last stop on the Road to Wrestlemania is this hell-hole of a dump called Atlanta. I mean, if it was up to me, I would have just bypassed this whole place and went to a city that actually matters. And that's what I'm going to do after tonight, because at Wrestlemania, I've got the performance of a lifetime for everyone. But I've got a song, so I need everyone to silence your cell phones, hold your applause, and shut your mouths!"

Elias starts to strum before Heath Slater cuts him off.

Match Four: Elias vs. Heath Slater

Lockup, Elias presses Slater to the corner, shoulder tackles, chop, whip, chop, whip, Slater with punches, whip, reversed, Slater with a knee lift, another, Elias with a leaping knee lift, Drift Away for three.

Winner: Elias

Backstage, Braun Strowman runs into Curt Hawkins. He floats the idea of teaming with him. Braun asks his win/loss record. Hawkins says this could be his big break. Braun throws him through a wall, and says that that's his big break. DISAPPOINTED!

In a pre-taped interview, Renee Young asks Nia how she's feeling. Nia says Alexa has reminded her what it was like growing up different, but she's learned that you have to respect yourself, and what you have. Renee says the women in the locker room respect and admire Nia, and Nia says that she appreciates it, but she's been disappointed in herself. She says Alexa made her doubt herself, because she never thought Alexa thought what she did. She says Bliss' comments took a toll on her and shook her confidence a bit, but she had to look herself in the mirror and remember that she's Nia Jax and she doesn't take this shit. She says she's proud of who she is and all she's accomplished, and Bliss just reminds her of everyone who's said she couldn't and shouldn't be here. She calls Bliss an insecure little girl and a pathetic fly, who's going to be squashed at Wrestlemania.

Match Five: Women's Champion Alexa Bliss and Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke and Asuka

Dana and Bliss start off, lockup, Dana wrenches an arm, Bliss eventually reverses, Dana reverses back, Bliss with a forearm, whip, reversed, Dana with a handspring elbow, Samoan Drop, blocked, Bliss with a punch to the back, Mickie in, boot to the gut, hammerlock, Dana with a rollup for one, Mickie with a knee, punch, punch, Dana tosses her to the corner, shoulder tackle, misses a handspring elbow, Mickie with a kick, punch, punch, arm wringer, reversed into a body slam, Dana with a springboard moonsault, blocked with knees, commercial.

Back on air, Mickie has Dana in a chinlock, Dana hip checks her way out, Mickie with a throw down, chinlock, Dana to her feet, Mickie throws her down, Bliss in, Mickie whips her into Dana, but she stops short and slaps her, kick, stands on her back, cover for two, chinlock, front facelock, punch, Dana with a Northern Lights Suplex, double tag, Asuka with a hip check, mixed strikes, lifting knee to the face, roundhouse kicks, hip checks Bliss off the apron, baseball slide to Mickie, rolls her into the ring, Mickie with a superkick to the face for two, covers for one, mounted punches, goes up top, misses, Asuka drops her into the Asuka Lock, Mickie taps.

Winners: Asuka and Dana Brooke

Bliss attacks Asuka, Mickie joins in, double team DDT to Dana, Nia hits the ring, grabs Bliss, Mickie attacks, Nia flattens her, Samoan Drop while Bliss escapes.

Backstage, Kurt Angle stops Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman on their way to the ring and reminds them of what they talked about.

Paul Heyman comes out with Brock Lesnar. Angle gets a bunch of wrestlers to stand on the ramp, and Heyman calls him out for it while my audio cuts out. When it comes back on, he's arguing that Angle has no control over the show, the champion does. "Oh it's true, it's damn true. I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me, God. It's the truth that before the last Wrestlemania in New Orleans, I stood in this ring and said that Brock Lesnar would end The Undertaker's undefeated streak. You booed it then and you boo it now, but I told you it wasn't a prediction, it was a spoiler. And then my client conquered The Undertaker's undefeated streak, and no one laughed at us. Instead, we laughed at each and every one of you. Six days from now, the only two men who have defeated The Undertaker on the grandest state will face off at Wrestlemania. And people act like its Fait a Complit and Roman will culminate his rise to the top at Wrestlemania. And you have to tell the truth, you have to respect his skill, you have to respect his Samoan heritage, and you have to respect his badassery. But this Sunday, six days from now, April 8th, Brock Lesnar will F5 Roman Reigns and pin him one, two, three. That's not a prediction, it's a spoiler. It is the truth. But to be realistic, this is life, there are acts of God. If Brock should blow out his knee, if Brock should break his fist on a sparring partner's face, and Roman does become Universal Champion, then this is the last time you will see Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman on Monday Night Raw. And I'll say my own goodbyes on social media, since Brock will be saying hello from UFC. But let me dispel something out of character. The image I've cultivated of Brock Lesnar since 2002, that he doesn't think anyone back there can lace his boots, that he doesn't think anyone is worthy to fight him, that he fights who he wants, when he wants, under the conditions he wants, that is 100% true. He does not feel that there is anyone worthy back there. He does not feel that anyone has been worthy of him then, now, and forever. And Roman, you are out of options, because your options, like your ass, belongs to Brock Lesnar. You think you're going to have a victory party on Sunday, but you're going to have to come home to your wife, your kids, your father, your uncles, and admit that you got beat by Brock Lesnar. You think this is your moment, your crowning, but you will just be another notch on Brock Lesnar's title belt. The truth is, you're just Brock Lesnar's bitch."

Heyman drops the mic. Roman comes out. The roster on the ramp block him while Brock waves with his title.

Roman: "Really? Y'all full-time guys are going to stand here and protect that part-time bastard? Think about it, guys."

They speak amongst themselves, then part and allow Roman to hit the ring. He stands at ringside, Brock tells him to think about it, Roman walks up the ring steps. He climbs into the ring and they circle each other. Brock ducks and leaves the ring. He grabs a chair and heads back into the ring. Lesnar charges, Roman hits a Superman Punch, then another, then a third. Lesnar picks the chair up, Roman hits him with a fourth Superman Punch. Lesnar picks up the chair again, Roman hits a fifth Superman Punch. Roman picks up the championship, and holds it above his head while looking at the Wrestlemania sign. Lesnar picks him up and hits an F5 onto the championship belt. Lesnar grabs his championship and leaves. Raw goes off the air.

Still no Undertaker? If they're playing the long game, get on with it.

Ronda Rousey



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