Date: 08/25	7:00 PM
Views: 296

Tonight's episode of Dynamite features CM Punk's first officially announced appearance on a regular wrestling show in over seven years! What will he have to say about his time away, his upcoming match with Darby Allin, and the fantastic response he got on Friday from the Chicago crowd? Meanwhile, the Lucha Bros battle Varsity Blondes in a tag team eliminator semi-final. Will the team I've always viewed as most overdue for a tag title run in AEW move one step closer to getting one? Or will the also very talented Varsity Blondes triumph? I won't be mad either way, and that's why I love AEW!

Match One: Orange Cassidy vs. Matt Hardy

Cassidy and Hardy trade facetious kicks and Delete chants. Cassidy feigns going for a superkick, Hardy stops him, puts his own hands in his pockets, but then pulls out wads of cash. Cassidy with a dropkick, takes one of the bills, suicide dive, caught, Hardy hits a Side Effect on the floor, slams his head into the apron repeatedly, tosses him into the ring post, wrenches his whole body around the ring post, Side Effect in the ring, side slam, back suplex, facetious kicks to mock Cassidy, body slam, elbow drop for two, chop in the corner, front facelock, punches to the back, suplex, pulls his bill back out of Orange Cassidy's pocket, whip, elbow, leg drop, cover for two, bow and arrow hold with a boot in the back, Cassidy to his feet, Matt with a knee to the back, whip to the corner, whip to the opposite corner, Cassidy floats over, slams Matt's head into the turnbuckle, then into the adjacent turnbuckle, goes up top, misses, Beach Break, blocked, Matt with a punch to the back, Razor's Edge for two, Twist of Fate, blocked, Cassidy shoves him to the floor, suicide dive, both men back in the ring, Cassidy with a top rope crossbody, floatover DDT for two, goes up top, Matt tries for a superplex, Cassidy punches him down to the mat, does Jeff Hardy's taunt, sticks his hands in his pockets, Swanton Bomb, does Matt's Delete chants, goes for a Twist of Fate, Hardy tosses him to the corner, shoulder tackles, snapmare, second rope elbow drop for two, Twist of Fate, reversed into a Twist of Fate by Cassidy for two, Orange Punch, reversed into the Leech, reversed into a rollup with hands in pockets for three.

Winner: Orange Cassidy

Backstage, Malakai Black advises Brock Anderson to take a countout loss, apologize to Black, and walk backstage to think about what he was about to do, and that, if any of it goes any differently, Black will take it out on Brock, Arn, Cody, Dustin, and everyone else associated with them.

After a commercial, Chris Jericho comes out. "You sound great in Milwaukee tonight! This has been one of the biggest weeks in AEW history, everybody has been celebrating this week, everybody except for me. Because last week, when I had the chance to end the Five Labours of Jericho by beating MJF, I didn't, I lost. For the third time, I lost to MJF, and even worse, I tapped out. And it's been driving me crazy, I've been obsessing all week, losing sleep, and people ask me why it's been bothering me so much, you're Chris Jericho, and I answer that it's bothering me so much because I am Chris Jericho! I've strived to be the best, even if that meant getting hit by light tubes, powerbombed 15 times, I do that because I have to, it's what I do. But the fact that I lost to MJF has been literally driving me crazy, it's an earworm, it's a mantra playing over and over again in my head, 'Beat MJF, beat MJF, beat MJF'. And MJF, you know, until this is over, I'll just keep pushing and pushing, I'll beat the shit out of you, in the ring, backstage, at your home, I don't give a shit. So MJF, I have a proposal to end this. Come out. (No MJF) Okay, I guess you'll have to hear this from backstage. I am proposing one more fight at All Out, one more match. I've been thinking about this long and hard, and I mean this when I say it, if I can't beat MJF, maybe I don't belong in AEW anymore. It's in my head, if I can't beat MJF, maybe I don't deserve to me Le Champion anymore. So this is what I propose: If you beat me, MJF, I will go to that commentary table full-time on Rampage, maybe someday I'll commentate on Dynamite, because I will never wrestle in AEW again. MJF, if you want to be done with me, you're going to have to get rid of me, because that's what it takes."

MJF comes out. "Cut my music. Christopher, between you and me, this is getting kind of embarrassing. I couldn't help but think to myself, listening backstage, just leave me alone, man! But I'm not like these people here, I have you figured out. You need me because last year you saw my meteoric rise, and you knew you needed a rub from the youngest and fastest rising star in this business. But your cash cow is all out of money. When I beat you last week, I decided I was never going to wrestle you again. However, getting to say that I tapped out Chris Jericho, that's great. But getting to say that I ended Chris Jericho? Now that's legendary. So you want the match? You got it! But I want you to really think this one over, to really mull it over, because you're putting your career on the line against someone who has beat you, mopped the floor with you, not once, not twice, but three times! So I would think about this one really hard, because I'm better than you, and you know it."

Backstage, Varsity Blondes say that they are a real family, even if Lucha Bros are actually brothers.

Match Two: Tag Team Title Eliminator Semi-Final Match: Lucha Bros vs. Varsity Blondes

Fenix and Griff start off, lockup, Griff with a side headlock, Fenix whips his way out, Griff with a shoulder tackle, Fenix goes for a springboard crossbody, caught, Fenix struggles out and lands on his feet, chop, springboard arm drag, blocked, jockeying for position, double tag, staredown, Penta with a face wash, Pillman with a forearm, another, another, chops, Penta with a superkick, Pillman with a superkick, hurricanrana, Penta with a Slingblade, chop, whip to the corner, reversed, Penta presses him up, Fenix in, kick to the face, Codebreaker for two, chops, fireman's carry, Griff with a boot from the corner, tags in, spinebuster/dropkick combo for two, chinlock, Pillman in, double team suplex, blocked with knees, Penta in, kicks to both Blondes, they respond with a double team shoulder tackle, Pillman with a keylock, leg drop, arm breaker, Griff in, Fenix in, kicks, Pillman in, Fenix with more kicks, spin kicks Griff in the face, rolling cutter to Pillman for two as Griff breaks it up, Penta with a chop, another chop, trading shots on the apron, Penta goes for a package piledriver, Pillman presses Fenix to the floor, springboard kick to Penta, Fenix pulls Pillman out of the ring, stereo superkicks on the floor, Fenix with a suicide dive to both Blondes, Penta goes to toss Griff toss into the ring post, reversed, Pillman rolls up Fenix for two, European uppercut, Griff with an elbow, Pillman covers for two as Penta breaks the count, superkick to Griff, Fenix superkicks Pillman, then Penta does, then they both do, aided Package Piledriver for three.

Winners: Lucha Bros

Now they just need to beat Jurassic Express on Friday. Although I genuinely wouldn't be angry if they didn't.

Jurassic Express comes in to size up their opponents, Bucks come in to get a better look, opponents for Friday shake hands, then taunt each other, the Bucks come in from behind and shove Jurassic Express into Lucha Bros, it does not work, both teams immediately know what happened and double team the Bucks, then celebrate together.

A video package airs for PAC vs. Andrade.

Match Three: Jamie Hayter vs. Red Velvet

Velvet with punches, Hayter with a strong shove, Velvet with a Thesz Press, Hayter with punches, fallaway slam, punch, whip to the corner, Velvet sells hard, stomp, stomps in the corner, dropkick, stomps, chop, whip, Velvet holds onto the ropes, drops Hayter to the floor where she lands on her feet, Velvet with a suicide dive, another, Hayter with a knee, toss into the ring post, Baker tosses her into the apron, into the barricade, rolls Velvet into the ring, cover for two, stomp to the back, another, both back in the ring, Velvet with punches, Hayter presses her to the apron, punches her to the floor, drops to the floor after her, toss into the barricade, stomp, rolls Velvet into the ring, follows, stands on her for one, kick, stomp, mounted punches, armbar/head wrench combo, Velvet punches her way out, continues to punch, trading punches, Hayter with a whip, Velvet with a clothesline, another, a third, spinning back elbow, bulldog, running knees to the back in the ropes, knocks Baker off the apron, misses a standing moonsault, Hayter with punches, uranage backbreaker, clothesline, cover for three.

Winner: Jamie Hayter

Hayter, Baker and Rebel beat down Velvet after the bell until Kris Statlander makes the save.

Backstage, Dark Order says that they're unified even if they have some stumbling blocks. Alex Reynolds accuses Evil Uno of not being there for Hangman Page, Uno says they made the decision that was right for all of them, and tells Reynolds to get back in Silver's shadow, for which he immediately apologizes. Reynolds says he's done with Uno, and he and Silver walk off while the rest of Dark Order chastise Uno, who continues to apologize.

After a commercial, Tony Schiavone introduces CM Punk, who comes to the ring.

Tony: "Alright, what an honour it is to share the ring with this man. You were gone for a long time, and I know these fans are glad to see you back. What is the one thing that brought you back in the ring, if you could name one thing?"

"I can't hear you, Tony."

"They can, I can tell you that."

"Can I just... you're just a little too loud. I'm kidding, I want all that and more, but this man needs to ask a question."

"What's the one thing more than anything that brought you back here after all these years out of the ring?"

The crowd starts chanting "Ice cream bars", but then "CM Punk" again.

Punk: "Someone over here said it. It's Penta El Cero Miedo, it's Rey Fenix, it's Jungle Boy, it's Brian Pillman Jr. But before any of those guys, it's one guy. So I'm gonna go ahead and retire the nickname 'voice of the voiceless', because I don't need to be that anymore, these people have a voice, and there are people back there who listen. Darby Allin, I've seen you. You are reckless to the point of destruction, and I look at you and I see all those guys in the back, and I think, 'Can CM Punk still go? Does CM Punk still have what it takes? Can CM Punk still be the best in the world?' and if the answer is yes, it needs to start with Darby Allin. I look at Darby Allin and I see the guy who would've been my favourite wrestler when I was 15, I see someone who doesn't care to look like anyone else's definition of what a pro wrestler looks like, and goddammit, he's got heart. So I ask myself, can you still do it? Can you still be the best in the world? (crowd chants 'Yes!') That's someone else's schtick, and you might need to be just a little more patient. September 5th, All Out, it's not about proving the haters wrong, it's about proving myself right! One more thing, I just want to say hello to my beautiful wife at home, I love you, April!"

Punk embraces everyone at ringside on his way backstage.

Backstage, Miro says that he forgives Fuego for taking the easy way into AEW, when Eddie Kingston did it first. He demands to defend the championship against him.

Match Four: Darby Allin, Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston vs. The Wingmen

JD and Allin start off, JD misses a clothesline, misses a bunch more, Allin with a backpack sleeper, chops in the corner, JD with a snapmare, Darby tosses him to the floor, goes for a suicide dive, JD gets out of the way, Allin stops short, Eddie Kingston in, Nemeth in, chop, Kingston with a much stronger chop, Cesar in, Eddie circles him, shoulder tackle, no effect, goes for another, no effect, chops, Cesar with a side headlock, Mox in, double shoulder tackle, clears the apron of the opposing team, Bononi tries to figure out a way in, Mox knocks him off the apron, tosses him into the barricade, then into a different part of the barricade, a third part of the barricade, goes to toss him into the second part again, reversed, Bononi rolls him into the ring, boot to the face, JD in, punch, Manhattan Drop, Bononi with a big boot, JD covers for two, punches in the corner, Nemeth in, JD with a body slam, elbow drop, Nemeth covers for two as Kingston breaks the count, Nemeth with a hammerlock, knee, keeps the hammerlock locked in, Bononi in, chinlock, trading punches while the hold is still in, Mox with a back body drop, JD in, Mox with a chop, Eddie in, punches, whip, knee, uranage, punches Nemeth, JD with a gut breaker, goes up top, Moxley bites his face, Allin in, punches, top rope Code Red, slaps, Peter Avalon with a trip, Sting gets in his face, Moxley and Kingston beat down Avalon, Bononi tosses Allin into the corner, Moxley and Kingston beat down Bononi, Nemeth grabs a chair and starts banging it on the ground until Moxley and Kingston beat the piss out of him, Allin with a Stundog Millionaire to JD, Coffin Drop for three.

Winners: Darby Allin, Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston

Danny Garcia attacks Allin after the bell until Sting and Kingston chase him off.

Alex Marvez asks Tay Conti about the Casino Battle Royale and the issues with the Dark Order. Bunny tries to recruit Conti to the HFO. Conti rips up the contract offer, sparking a brawl.

Dax Harwood says Cash Wheeler still isn't 100% and it's hard to say when he will be, but they both still want one more match with P&P.

The Elite are in the ring. Tony Schiavone is about to interview them, Don Callis pulls the mic from his hand and vows a night of domination at All Out. This draws out Christian.

Christian: "Now, even though I know the fine folks of Milwaukee have probably had a fine 23 right now, it's not enough to believe your bullshit. I've got something else for you."

A video package airs from the promoter in Christian's first match when Callis fired him for Kenny, who was 10 years old at the time.

Christian: "If there's any confusion, that was Don Callis, still being a Carny piece of shit."

Kenny: "All that proved is that at 10 years old, I was already better than you, and that hasn't changed since."

Callis: "What are you saying? I prioritized my own family over talent? That makes me Bill Watts, Eddie Graham, Vince McMahon, Verne Gagne! But this isn't Erik Watts, this isn't Greg Gagne, this is Kenny Omega!"

Christian: "I fell asleep standing up, I didn't retain any of that. I don't know what's worse, that you manipulated a 10 year old boy, or that adult Kenny is still letting you do it."

Don: "You wanna talk about family? At All Out, everyone will find out that you still are what you've been your whole life: second best."

A brawl breaks out and The Elite gang up on Christian until Kaz chases them off with a pipe.

Backstage, Moxley says they got a FedEx from Japan with a signed contract from the only man brave enough to walk through the Forbidden Door, and he knew who it wasn't, but who it was was Satoshi Kojima. He says at first he was glad, but then he was insulted that Kojima thought he could still go with him. He says he'll see him at All Out.

Match Five: The Gunn Club vs. Nick Comoroto, QT Marshall and Aaron Solow

Billy and Nick start off, trading shots, Billy tosses him to the floor, Solow interferes, Billy with a punch, Colton in, clothesline, punch, QT with a punch, goes up top, taunt, Nick back in the ring, beatdown, suplex, QT in, punch, stomp, toss to the corner, Nick in, Solow in, running knee, Nick with a backbreaker, cover for two, stomp, shove down, QT with a punch, Colton with punches, Solow with a takedown, leaping double foot stomp, QT in, body slam, elbow drops, steps over him, taunts Billy, Nick in, elbow to the back, bear hug, lifting bear hug, Colton with punches, Nick with a body slam, punches Billy, misses an avalanche to Austin, I'm told that's actually been Austin the whole time, the real Colton Gunn finally tags in, cleans house, Nick takes his head off with a clothesline, Billy tosses Nick to the floor where they hit mutual clotheslines, Austin and Solow do the same, Colt45 to QT, reversed into a backbreaker/flatliner combo, taunts Paul Wight on commentary, who gets up and yells at him, Colton with a rollup for three.

Winners: The Gunn Club

Backstage, Dan Lambert says AEW isn't at fault for its woes, they're just catering to their audience. He talks up Men of the Year as properly manly men.

Alex Marvez asks Arn Anderson about his son's upcoming match. Arn says he's in over his head, but he's an Anderson, which means he's stubborn. He advises his son, don't assume things will work out, dig down deep.

Main Event: Malakai Black vs. Brock Anderson

Brock with a double leg, punches, more punches, Black with a knee, punches in the corner, roundhouse kicks in the corner, ref pulls him off, he gets in one more shot, pulls Brock to the middle of the ring by his hair, tells Arn to throw in the towel, Arn refuses, Brock with punches to the gut, front facelock, Black reverses into a t-bone suplex, Black Mass, waits about a minute, covers for three.

Winner: Malakai Black

Black leaves the ring seemingly to avoid Arn, but instead grabs a chair, Arn challenges him to fight without it, blocks Black Mass, Black low blows him, Black Mass. Black perches on the top rope and surveys the damage before Lee Johnson comes out and chases him off. Black stares him down from the floor. Dynamite goes off the air with the staredown.