You've heard it before. Critics of Dave Meltzer, Wade Keller and most wrestling reporters have no idea what it's like because "They never took a bump". What that has to do with the ability to report on the business, I'll never know. Edward R. Murrow was never shot at on a battlefield, but that didn't make him any less of a reporter. Peter King has thrown as many NFL touchdown passes as I have, but he was still one of Sports Illustrated and NBC Sports' top reporters. However, for whatever reason, when it comes to pro wrestling it's frowned upon to report on the news if you've never bumped.

While I have no idea if Dave or Wade have ever gone to an open tryout, I can say that as of last night, I did. After 30 years of being a fan and 10 years as a reporter (albeit an unknown one), I stepped into the ring last night and, if nothing else, I've come out with even more respect for the athletes who compete than I had before.

Last Tuesday, February 22 I attended a Top Rope Promotions show in Fall River, Massachusetts. TRP has been a staple of southeast Massachusetts for over 40 years and is owned and operated by Steve Ricard, who is not to be confused with the New Zealand promoter from the 70's, 80's and 90's. While at the show, they announced that in a week they would be having an open tryout for their wrestling school, which has been operating since 2005. My friend, KJ, and I decided it would be interesting and let's face facts, fun to give it a shot.

To sum things up: wrestling school is so much more painful than regular school.

We were instructed by several veteran wrestlers and were assisted by several wrestlers who have come through the school and are still in their formative years. Most of us had never gotten in the ring before, but there were some who had trained occasionally and one guy who had trained with his dad, who is a former wrestler, for years. For four hours they taught us, worked with us, and helped guide us through the motions of learning the basics. We began with a 10-minute run where we ran up and down three flights of stairs and around an adjoining gym. Following that up we did 100 Hindu squats, 50 pushups and a warmup exercise where we would lift a partner in a Fireman's Carry and walk across the gym floor with them. KJ told me later that this was "the hardest part and my body felt like Jell-O" and he's "really feeling it the next day."

After my arms and legs began turning to jelly, we got in the ring. We started by grappling with one of the trainers, which all I can say is it goes a lot easier if you are a foot taller and 200 pounds heavier than the person you're grappling with. We did forward rolls and backward rolls before we learned to take bumps and then ran the ropes. I can tell you that I could have done a lot better but didn't come out injured, so that's always good. My first bump was painful. The ones who had never bumped before did the gimmick where one of the trainers were on their hands and knees, you would sit on their back and then be pushed back. I can say even from that short distance, my back was screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!?!?!", but ultimately, I can say my bump card is currently 1 and it's bound to get better.

Running the ropes was an experience I was surprised by. Now anyone who has met me or seen a picture can attest to the fact that I am a big person, so I assumed that the ropes would be a bit easier to bounce off than they were. I am not sure if I was just not hitting them hard enough (well that's probably the reason) or what, but I ran into them and felt like it wasn't going anywhere.

After the physical part of the evening was over, we all got the chance to cut a promo and, not to toot my own horn, but this was the one part where I was confident in my abilities. I stood in the ring and cut a promo, vowing revenge on KJ for laying me out with a chair last week, which isn't going to have me win Best on Interviews in the Observer, but was a decent first outing. A few of the wrestlers even said it was a good promo and, if nothing else, I have the charisma part down.

The night ended with us meeting with Steve individually to discuss the future and going over what we can do next. I went home with a sore back, tender quads, and a little bit of a bruised ego. I also went home with my head held high, a feeling of accomplishment and a healthy amount of respect for the men and women who step between those ropes. I woke up this morning with a sore back, but one hot shower and a hydro-massage at Planet Fitness did the trick.

Will we be back for the first "real" class next Tuesday? I can't say right now, however it was an unforgettable experience and one I wouldn't trade for anything. Now excuse me while I go do some squats.

If you're interested in future shows or in getting into training, Top Rope Promotions can be found on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and can also be reached at 508-525-1866.