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Ian's Joe vs. Suzuki Dynamite Recap


Date: 04/13 7:00 PM
Views: 487
AEW

Written by Ian Clark

Match One: CM Punk vs. Penta Oscuro

Trading shoves, Penta with a face wash, Punk with a boot to the gut, chop, trading strikes, hockey fight, Punk with a boot, misses a punch, Penta with a superkick, Punk with a spin kick, forearm, springboard arm drag, leg drop for two, chops, GTS, reversed into an ankle lock, Punk trips Penta into the turnbuckle, running knee, Penta with a crossbody for two, chop, toss to the floor, misses a suicide dive but lands on his feet, Punk hits a suicide dive, both men back in the ring, Punk with kicks, punch, suplex for two, bow and arrow hold, whip to the corner, whip to the same corner, reversed, Penta with a running forearm, leaps to the apron, Punk with a forearm, Penta with a swing kick, punches, Punk slips and falls, Penta with kicks, kicks in the corner, whip, Punk collapses, Penta with stomps, Punk rebounds, GTS, Punk fails to hit the move after he collapses, Penta goes for an arm break, Punk to his feet, knee, Anaconda Vice, Penta makes it to the ropes, trading shots on the apron, Penta goes for a Fear Factor, blocked, Punk goes for a piledriver, blocked, Punk with a roundhouse kick to the head, springboard clothesline, running knee in the corner, arm trap clothesline, calls for a GTS, boot, GTS, blocked, Penta goes for a Fear Factor, blocked, hits a kick to the head instead, punches to the back, arm break, reversed into a rollup for two, Penta with a crucifix for two, Punk goes for a neckbreaker, reversed into a superkick, Penta with a springboard, lands on Punk's shoulders for a GTS for three.

Winner: CM Punk

Earlier today, the JAS landed in New Orleans and Kingston and P&P were there at the airport waiting for them, revealing they'd already beaten down the team formerly known as 2point0. And they stole their shoes.

Match Two: AEW Tag Team Championships: Jurassic Express (c) vs. reDRagon

Fish and JB start, lockup, Fish with a knee to the gut, arm wrench, JB kips up, side headlock, Fish whips out, JB with a shoulder tackle, hurricanrana, arm drag, Fish with knees, toss across the ring, O'Reilly in, knees, side headlock, Luchasaurus in, body slam, boot to Fish, JB with a leg drop to O'Reilly, Luchasaurus covers for two, punches in the corner, whip, O'Reilly holds the ropes, crotches him, Fish in, dragon screw through the ropes, kicks to the leg, dragon screw on the floor into the barricade, toss onto the apron, rolls Luchasaurus into the ring for two, punch to the gut, O'Reilly in, Fish with forearms, boot, O'Reilly with a kick, kneebar, Fish in, springboard senton for two, O'Reilly in, kicks, Lucha with a boot, knee to the face, JB in, elbow, another, body slam for Fish, kicks O'Reilly in the gut, tosses him to the floor, tosses Fish to the floor, suicide dive to O'Reilly, suicide dive to Fish, goes for another, stops short as both members of reDRagon run off, Luchasaurus with a moonsault to both of them, Fish with a chop block to Luchasaurus, JB with a suicide moonsault to Fish, O'Reilly kicks him in the gut, dragon screw through the ropes, Fish with an arm drag on the apron, O'Reilly with an arm breaker, whip to the corner, Fish in, double team knees, arm drag, cover for two, JB with punches, Fish with stomps to the head, arm drag, punch to the gut, O'Reilly in, JB with forearms, O'Reilly with a single leg, mounted punches, arm wrench, JB with a punch, O'Reilly with a snapmare, chinlock, armbar, cover for two, JB gets to the ropes, springboard arm drag, Luchasaurus in, cleans house, miscue causes O'Reilly to boot Fish in the face, Luchasaurus continues beating them down, double chokeslam, moonsault for two, goes for atag, Fish knocks JB off the apron, JB rebounds and gets up anyway, tags in, Fish in, JB and Lucha with a backbreaker/elbow drop combo for two, O'Reilly in, butterfly suplex, wheelbarrow DDT with Fish into a German for two, O'Reilly locks in a cross arm breaker, sets JB up top, punches, armbar, JB with punches to the gut, sunset flip, blocked by Fish, Luchasaurus punches Fish, Doomsday Device, blocked by Fish, who tags in, O'Reily locks in a front chancery on Luchasaurus, Fish with a superplex for two as Luchasaurus shoves O'Reilly into the cover, O'Reilly and Luchasaurus trade strikes, O'Reilly gets the better of it, blockes a chokeslam, keeps striking, JB with a kick, Fish knocks down JB, O'Reilly tees off on Luchasaurus, JB with a DDT on O'Reilly, Thorassic Express on Fish for three.

Winners and STILL AEW Tag Team Champions: Jurassic Express

Kyle O'Reilly attacks the champs with a chair after the bell, then walks off with Fish. FTR confront reDRagon on the ramp.

Tony Schiavone introduces the Blackpool Combat Club, which now includes Wheeler Yuta, who are going to face Gunn Club in a trios match on Rampage. They all promise both victory and carnage.

After a commercial, Schiavone announces that Jamie Hayter and Toni Storm will face off in the first round of the Owen Hart Cup. Both of them are there. Hayter says they came up in a lot of the same places, and a lot of the same places as Owen, but says that won't stop her from doing what it takes to obtain victory. Storm just walks off.

Match Three: MJF vs. Captain Shawn Dean

MJF feigns trouble getting his jacket off, but then attacks and stomps Dean, drags him up, arm drag into the turnbuckle, Wardlow is backstage again and has taken out security, MJF tosses Dean into the barricade, rolls him into the ring, Wardlow is posing as security in the crowd, MJF realizes his folly, Wardlow chases him up the ramp, Spears clubs Wardlow in the back with a chair, Wardlow shrugs it off, goes for a powerbomb, security rushes out, he powerbombs one of them instead, continues beating down security guards, the ref keeps counting, MJF grabs a mic and stops him at 9, offers to pay him triple his regular wage if he stops the count, he doesn't.

Winner by Countout: Shawn Dean

Shawn Dean has now become, for those of you playing the home game, the first man in AEW to beat MJF twice. I think.

MJF gets in referee Bryce Remsburg's face, who responds by shoving him.

Backstage, Wardlow is still beating up security, and says that he won't let up until MJF lets him out of the contract.

Darby Allin challenges Andrade to a coffin match.

Malakai Black vows destruction on the soul of Fuego Del Sol.

Match Four: Jericho Appreciation Society vs. Eddie Kingston, Santana and Ortiz

Jericho and Santana start off, Santana shoves him to the corner, ten-punch, whip, Jericho with a boot, Santana with a boot, whip, reversed, Santana with a boot, trading chops, Santana gets the better of it, Jericho with a punch, Santana with a double leg, mounted punches, brawl erupts on the floor, Hager tosses Ortiz into the barricade, Santana chases Jericho around the floor, back in the ring, Santana with a clothesline, mounted punches, Eddie bites Garcia on the floor, Santana with a whip to the corner, Ortiz in, punches, Eddie with an elbow to Jericho, Ortiz with a face wash, knocks Garcia off the apron, Jericho with a clothesline, Hager in, Eddie is beating down Garcia on the floor, Jericho and Hager with a double team flapjack, Ortiz with a punch, Hager with a clothesline, Ortiz with punches, Hager with an amateur takedown, blocked, Garcia in, mounted punches, Hager in, tosses Ortiz around, Garcia with a choke while the ref isn't looking, Hager with a body slam, cover for two, Jericho in, Ortiz misses a top rope crossbody, Jericho with punches, dropkick, misses a Lionsault, Ortiz with a boot to the gut, clothesline, Garcia in, blocks a tag, Ortiz gets there anyway and tags in Eddie, who cleans house, Santana in, three amigos, goes up top, frog splash for two, Eddie in, chops in the corner, Santana in, uranage, Ortiz in, goes up top, leg drop, Eddie knocks Hager off the apron, suicide dive, Street Sweeper to Garcia, blocked when Jericho runs in, so they just toss Garcia into him instead, 2point0 run in, Ortiz with a suicide dive, Eddie in, punches, exploder suplex, misses a spinning back fist, Jericho with a bat to the back of the head, Garcia covers for three.

Winners: Jericho Appreciation Society

JAS continue their beatdown after the bell, focusing on Kingston, Judas Effect to Ortiz.

Alex Marvez tries to ask MJF about his second loss to Shawn Dean, MJF yells at everyone for mocking him, Mark Sterling announces that MJF has the right to book Wardlow as he chooses, and MJF announces he's going to slaughter the pig with a Butcher. I mean... just a tad bit underwhelming, that.

Match Five: Marina Shafir vs. Skye Blue

Shafir with knees, body slam, blocked, Blue with a front chancery, Shafir with a bear hug, throw down, punch to the back, stomp, Blue with punches to the gut, Shafir with a roundhouse kick, pump handle overhead throw, goes for a kneebar, blocked, hits a palm strike instead, triangle choke for the tapout.

Winner: Marina Shafir

Lexy Nair tries to ask Hook about his Dynamite debut next week, but Mark Sterling and Tony Nese interrupt and say the attention is undeserved. Danhausen tries to curse Hook, but Hook throws a medicine ball at him.

America's Top Team reveal that there's a TNT Championship Match between Sky and Sammy on Saturday.

Match Six: Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks vs. Keith Lee and Swerve Strickland

Swerve and Hobbs start off, lockup, break, Hobbs with a shove, Swerve with an arm wrench, Hobbs with a whip, shoulder tackle, fallaway slam, arm wrench, Starks in, punch, arm wrench, chop, Old School to the shoulder, whip, reversed, Starks floats over, tackle, jockeying for position, Lee in, stomp, misses a pair of chops, Starks with chops, Swerve in, goes up top, holds Starks' arms back, Lee with a double overhead chop, Swerve with a kick to the back, toss to the corner, Lee in, tosses Hobbs to the floor, tosses Starks to the floor, Swerve in, goes up top, springboard moonsault to both opponents on the floor, rolls Starks into the ring, armbar, blocked, Swerve with a kick, whip, reversed, Hobbs with a tackle on the floor, Starks follows, Hobbs with a drop across the top rope, Starks rolls Swerve into the ring, stomp to the gut, more stomps, Hobbs in, Starks with a chop, running elbow, tags in, gos up top, dropkick, armbar, Hobbs in, whip to the corner, Swerve fights his way out, double tag, Lee with a pair of tackles, Hobbs with a tackle to the back, Lee with an elbow to Hobbs, tosses him into Starks, then tosses Starks into Hobbs, Swerve in, knee to the face, Lee with a forearm, Swerve with a forearm for two, tosses Starks to the floor, kick to the back, rolls him into the ring, pulls Hobbs off the apron, springboard rolling-- we never find out because Starks spears him, knocks Lee off the apron, Canadian Destroyer to Swerve for two, sets Swerve up top, Lee tags in secretly, Swerve with punches to the gut, fireman's carry, tosses him into a Lee tackle for two as Hobbs breaks the count, staredown, Lee with a tackle, Starks goes for Roshambo, Lee blocks, tosses him, Taz comes to ringside, Swerve in, Lee in, cleans house, Starks shoves him off long enough to hit a top rope spear, Lee holds Starks on top of him for Swerve to hit a 450, Hobbs tackles Swerve in the corner, Lee with an elbow to Hobbs, goes off the ropes, Taz trips him, Hobbs hits a Spinebuster for three.

Winners: Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks

Dalton Castle will challenge Jonathan Gresham for the ROH World Championship at Battle of the Belts II!

Nyla Rose and Vickie Guerrero interrupt a Thunder Rosa interview to present her with a cake for shortest title reign. Rosa throws the cake in Nyla's face and takes them both on, before Nyla throws her into a production crate, then walks off screaming about how the joke's on her, because she loves cake and also violence.

They show a video package for Cole vs. Page on Rampage.

Main Event: ROH Television Championship: Minoru Suzuki (c) vs. Samoa Joe

Trading chops, continuing to trade chops, trading forearms, back to trading chops, Joe gets the better of it, until Suzuki gets the better of it, then Joe gets his turn again, then Suzuki gets his turn again, then Joe, then Suzuki, Joe with a forearm, trading forearms, Joe with a tackle, Suzuki with an armbar through the ropes, drags Joe to the floor, punches on the floor, Joe with a forearm, chop, trading chops again, back in the ring, Suzuki with an armbar, Joe forces a rope break, Suzuki with a boot, roundhouse kick, arm wrench, crossface, punch, Joe with a headbutt, trading headbutts, Joe gets the better of it, powerbomb for two, into an STF, Suzuki eventually escapes, punch in the corner, whip, punch, snapmare, running boot for two, forearms, Gotch Piledriver, decides not to, demands they trade chops instead, so they do, Suzuki with a sleeper, Joe escapes with an uranage, Suzuki with strikes, Gotch Piledriver, blocked, Suzuki with a sleeper, blocked, Joe sets him up top, enziguri, Suzuki locks in a triangle, Joe with a forearm, Muscle Buster for three.

Winner and NEW ROH Television Champion: Samoa Joe

That's pretty cool.

Sonjay Dutt: "Hey, hey, congratulations, Joe! New ROH TV Champion!"

Lethal: "And just like we said last week, we have a special present we know you're going to love!"

Dutt: "Drumroll!"

Lethal reveals the box has a hole in the bottom, and he flips Joe off through it.

The lights go out, and when they come back on, Satnam Singh is in the ring. He attacks Joe from behind, Dutt and Lethal join in, Lethal hits a Lethal Injection to close the show.

This is... honestly kind of a weird end to the show, particularly after Joe just won a title.



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