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The Life of a Transgender Wrestling Fan, by Arya Witner


Date: 04/01 1:00 PM
Views: 819
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Written by Arya Witner

Dear fellow wrestling fans,

My name is Arya Witner and from October 2010 until my mental health spiraled out of control in March 2020 I was a writer, reporter and podcaster for, among other sites, F4WOnline.com and AngryMarks.com. I have been a wrestling fan since 1991 and a Wrestling Observer Hall Of Fame voter since 2014 and I am also a proud transgender woman.

Ever since I fluttered out of the closet in May 2016, I walked with my head up and exuding the confidence of 10 women. However I would be lying if I didnt say that I am fully aware of everyone and everything happening around me. Thankfully I live in possibly the most liberal and trans-friendly state in America, so I usually have no issues at home. However because most of my friends arent wrestling fans, I tend to do most of my traveling out-of-state for wrestling shows completely solo. Ive been to New York, Chicago, New Jersey and Albany recently for shows and every time I go, I keep my eyes and ears open. I cant fight, but I am always prepared to go down swinging if I have to. I have never had a major incident, but every fear I had came out this morning, as I write this.

I have never met Gisele Shaw, but I have always admired the courage of her and of Nyla Rose to not only be themselves but to do so in front of the entire world. Ive never met Gisele, but from all accounts shes a fantastic human being who others have nothing but the nicest things to say about. Neither her nor anyone else deserves to be verbally accosted in public, especially by such a well known peer. Rick Steiner has always been considered the "sane" Steiner in comparison to Scott, but the fact is hes always been a bully. I dont need to list the stories about what hes done to wrestlers both behind and in front of the camera, all you have to do is go into the Wrestling Observer Newsletter archive and youll find numerous instances.

So now, on the biggest wrestling weekend of the year, Rick Steiner gets all the attention by continuing to be the jerk hes always been. Gisele gets to have her anxiety peak even more because the fear always is that once one person has the "courage" to act this way its easier for more and more to follow their lead. Being transgender you are constantly worried about acts of violence just due to that. When I went to Albany last October for Bound For Glory, I was at the Impact tv tapings the next day, sitting in a sea of 100 or so people and just waiting for the show to start. Suddenly someone on the other side of the barricade pointed at me and asked, loudly, if I had met Gisele yet. Now there are probably people reading this thinking "whats the big deal?", but imagine youre such an obviously transgender woman in this day and age, youre in a strange town by yourself and someone just pointed you out.

I blew it off and acted like nothing was up, but inside I was freaking out and worried that something would happen. To make matters worse, there was a fan in front of me during the show, who was saying "Shes the man" just loud enough for me to hear during Giseles match. Now there was a degree of good news with both. Later on in the taping the guy was very personable and otherwise nice, so between matches I leaned down and basically told him to never say that stuff again. He apologized and said hed never do it again and all I can say is he didnt say anything else that night. Regarding the guy who pointed me out, I talked to him after the show and there was a group of fans at Bound For Glory who really wanted to meet Gisele and he thought I might have been part of them.

In the interest of fairness, for every moment like that, I have a hundred positive experiences. I can spend 10,000 words writing about being embraced by the amazing people at AEW Heels or the local independent wrestling community, but then I worry that it leaves me with a false sense of security and this incident certainly didnt help.

Now in 2023, as we deal with some states attempting to eliminate transgender care entirely it continues to be frightening just to live. I doubt a day will go by where I am not looking over my shoulder or wondering if two people laughing are doing so at me, but people like Rick Steiner do not have to make life any harder for the transgender community. Knowing the world we live in, when Rick dies, WWE will announce the creation of the Rick Steiner LGBT Awareness Award during the Hall Of Fame and when that happens, no one will be shocked.

Sincerely,
Arya Witner



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