Source: Sean Redmond aka "BUMP N GRIND" and Eva
Eva: The non-wrestling fan who knows nothing about Austin
While watching this move you begin to feel reminiscent of “The Running Man”. The plot of this movie is to group together 10 notorious murderers who are all awaiting death sentences to battle each other on a almost undetectable island. Why? These men and women have the opportunity to fight for their freedom. They are “purchased” by a ruthless television mogul who is dead set on doing what no one has done - stream the deaths live on the internet, in an effort to reach more viewers than the Super Bowl.
The movie is basically everything goes. Death by torture, instantaneous and sometimes with touches of comedic relief. Some parts are even hard to watch, and as the deaths progresses even some of the shows producers begin to feel indifferent about what they have set out to do. The Condemned holds nothing back and holds true to its R rating.
In the film after a few scenes, Steve Austin eventually becomes your favorite. He does a great job and plays the good guy, if that is even possible in a role where he is pitted against nine others in a survival of the fittest 30-hour blood bathe. However, being the good guy in this movie, he attempts to not play the game that has been set-up for him to play, but every man has his limits. When he is pushed - Stone Cold goes to the extreme.
The movie does not have a great cinematic plot that is Oscar worthy by far, but the movie does bring out questions of the morality of those who sign on to the internet viewing to watch the live death of people. The person sitting next to me (Sean) in the theatre asked if this was real life would I pay the money and watch online. My immediate response - “absolutely not”, his response was “you are crazy, I would probably miss work to watch this in real life.” With his response, I knew that everyone else in the theatre probably had the same mind set as him. Only confirming the movie's premonition - streaming live internet deaths would probably bring in more viewers than American Idol on elimination night.
Sean Redmond: The wrestling fan
First and foremost, the Fox Theatre was not sold out for this pre-screening as had been advertised. But nevertheless, it definitely had a wrestling event feel as opposed to a movie premiere. Security was extra tight as no cameras or camera phones were permitted in the building whatsoever. Various WWE superstars entered the theatre to all types of adulation from the fans, who simply wanted to get a glimpse of their favorite (or not-so-favorite) WWE Superstars.
In a nutshell, the film is 'The Running Man' meets 'Survivor'. Ten convicts are paid for under the table from prisons around the globe to compete in an elimination style competition where the last man (or woman as there are two female convicts) alive after 36 hours is granted his/her freedom and a healthy monetary sum. The mastermind behind all this? A ruthless television producer, ironically reminiscent of McMahon himself, who aspires to do Super Bowl numbers by way of streaming the competition live on the internet.
Your favorite ex-wrestler and mine, Nathan Jones, has a role as one of the sadistic convicts. Considering Jones’ real-life past, the role wasn’t much of a stretch for him. Too bad he wasn’t as impressive in the ring as he is on the silver screen.
Austin’s character, Jack Conrad, is typical Austin: witty one-liners, badass cowboy attitude and a whole lot of whoop-ass. I actually found myself wanting him to say “What?” or give one of the bad guys a stunner. There’s not a whole lot of dialogue on Austin’s behalf. When he does speak, it’s exactly what you would expect from the Texas Rattlesnake, not withstanding one sentimental scene that portrays Austin a bit differently than we’re used to seeing. Yes, Stone Cold has a soft side.
As for the movie itself, it’s pretty damn violent. The film is Rated R (no pun intended) and certainly isn’t for kids under 15. I’m knocking on thirty and even I found myself turning my head at some of the fight scenes. Austin gets to use language I’m sure he wishes he could use on WWE television. Again, it’s certainly not a movie for kids. With that being said, there is still plenty of comedy and even a bit of romance in the film.
All in all, the movie is about as predictable as WWE programming has become these days, yet it still manages to entertain. I haven’t seen 'See No Evil' or 'The Marine', but to be a low-budget WWE Films production, I was impressed. The fight scenes and explosions certainly weren’t as cheesy as I had expected. My girlfriend, who had no prior knowledge of Austin, enjoyed the film, which is saying a lot.
After the end credits, you heard the glass break…so you know what was next. Stone Cold came out, thanked the fans, the producer, director, etc. and for some reason he gave special recognition to JBL. He did his usual beer routine and that was that.
-Sean “BUMP N GRIND” Redmond