| Date: 04/06 | 11:28 PM |
| Views: 1,974 | |
In the "did anybody still give a shit" category, Chris Kanyon has officially announced his retirement from wrestling. After getting a ton of publicity for claiming WWE fired him for being gay and being on the Howard Stern show multiple times, it all led to nothing as he never got rehired by the E and wasn't really making a name for himself on the independent circuit either. For a guy who was once the "Alliance MVP" and seemed like quite a proficient wrestler in the ring, it's a shame to see how far he's fallen. Quite honestly his being gay has nothing to do with it, because he's certainly not the first nor will be the last gay wrestler in sports entertainment (Pat Patterson, Steve Lombardi, the list goes on and on) but was largely based around the fact he became OBSESSED with his homosexuality to the detriment of his career. Maybe Kanyon, just maybe it's possible WWE fired you because you stopped trying to be a good wrestler and started to SUCK (and not in that way).
As absurd as the "retirement" of a guy whose whining and crying we all got sick of a long time ago is, at least Kanyon could probably hold his own in a bar fight, which is more than you can say of Sean O'Haire. After being fired from WWE and having his ass kicked in multiple MMA fights, O'Haire added injury to his lists of insults by fracturing his orbital lobe in a fight both onlookers and the owner of the bar where it happened say O'Haire provoked. Somebody tell the man that just because you have an Irish gimmick name doesn't mean you have to try to prove a moronic Irish stereotype true by getting drunk and brawling with everyone. Your name is not Finlay, you don't love to fight, and if you did maybe you'd win one once in a while inside OR outside of a ring.
We reported this a few weeks ago in the Absurd News, but it's even more amusing to see WWE come clean about it. In an article on Forbes.com, WWE has actually admitted they can't back up their claims that Vince McMahon is a billionaire, not even on paper. Not only does Trump beat him on the books, he beat him in the ring too. Even if McMahon planned it that way to make himself the butt of the joke, it's still got to be a major sting to his ego.
Last but not least in J.R.'s latest blog he has to address (among other things) rumors that Lillian Garcia is a lesbian, that Cena and HBK have legit backstage beef, and that Chyna is holding a grudge against him or vice versa. Don't misunderstand, it's the questions in this case that are absurd, not good ol' Jim Ross himself (by gawd). The Sooners still suck though. That's all for this week's Friday Night's Absurd News!