Another in our weekly series of reviews covering RING OF HONOR DEE-VEE-DEEZ! For more information visit www.ROHWrestling.com and don't forget to buy a few DVD's of your own while there. This week we'll be covering One Year Anniversary Show from February 8th, 2003 which was also their first show OF 2003. In Part 1 we had just finished with the Steve Corino v. Homicide match and the so-called "riot" that followed at the Elk's Lodge in Queens, NY. It's time for a famous Stevie J rant though; normally I reserve these for WWE & TNA but today I think ROH earned it given that at least the next 10 minutes of the DVD is billed as "ROH Exclusive" and shows each camera used while filming said "riot." First of all Ring of Honor has for better or worse always tried to cater to the smark crowd who know it's a work and still appreciate wrestling on that level. The promo by Corino before the match indicates as much when he calls out Rob Feinstein and Gabe Sapolsky by name - it's a wink and a nod that assumes both everybody in the building and watching on home video knows who's in charge. Second of all promoting a "riotous" atmosphere where "anything can happen" is a very double-edged dangerous sword for a wrestling promotion. While ECW cultivated a very devoted audience that way, by Paul Heyman's own admission they got sued over it so many times that if his father hadn't been a lawyer they'd have gone belly up a dozen times (which of course they eventually did albiet for different reasons). Last but not least we have this rather damning exclusive footage that shows this "riot" was anything but, as 98% of the people in the building are just standing and watching a few obviously planted workers jump over the railing for a mock brawl. Smarks know better than to jump a railing, because a wrestler might kayfabe a punch at his comrade, but he doesn't know you for shit and will legit beat your ass before you get thrown the fuck out of the building by security.
Here's the point - if you're catering to smarks who know better why would you 'fabe something that's not only obviously phony but sets a dangerous precedent for anybody dumb enough to believe it? The last thing Ring of Honor could possibly want is fans who believe they've been given a blank check to get involved. Corino got legit heat with his worked shoot promo, that's a good thing. Smarks will play along and chant "eff you" in those situations, after all it's fun to hate the bad guy. To me this staged riot killed that heat, as it went from "this is fake but we're playing along" to "who the fuck believes anybody who jumped the rail isn't a plant?" Watch a real riot sometime. It's not a select group of people going over a barricade, squaring off against equal sized men, purposefully getting in a cameraman's face to spurt obscenities. In a real riot EVERYBODY GOES CRAZY and things are out of control to the point police and tear gas are called in to regain control. There would be no second half of this show in a real riot - chairs would have been thrown everywhere, fans would have mugged each other and the wrestlers with equal venom, the ring would be torn up or apart and police would have shut down the Elk's Lodge and cleared the building by force. Fuck ROH for blowing Corino's legit heat by having a staged riot, fuck them for endless amounts of unedited footage showing just how phony it was (the stationary camera is particularly damning), and fuck them for purposefully cultivating a smark audience and then thinking some audience plants combined with some cameras being shook and F-bombs being dropped would fool ANYBODY. It's easy to lose yourself in the moment and believe it's an athletic contest when two guys are actually in the ring, but if you break the magic of the squared circle to a smart audience you'd better be damn careful about blurring the line between kayfabe and reality which again points out how dumb this "riot" is - nobody's going to believe it and you don't want them to ANYWAY so why do it AT ALL. By comparison this so called "riotous atmosphere" the commentators were overhyping while most of the crowd sat on their hands is nothing compared to the GENUINELY worked up fans during the ROH v. CZW war, where each side had a set of fans whose utter belief in the superiorty of their faction and venomous hatred for the other faction created tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. This phony riot had none of that emotion, completely sucked a cock, and I am a worse man for having watched it. Okay rant OVER - let's move on.
Thankfully Ring of Honor switches from the "exclusive footage" to a black & white flashback from September 21st, 2002 in the match where Christopher Daniels and Donovan Morgan won the ROH Tag Team titles. A promo from the Fallen Angel follows: "Corino I find it funny that you'd come to me, make a challenge, and say it's just business. Let me see if I understand you correctly Steve. Is it just business that you would use your personal relationship with Simply Luscious to steal her from the Prophecy? Is it simply business that you take your personal friendship with Samoa Joe and have him turn against the Prophecy? Is it simply business that you take everything I hold dear and have worked for and earned in Ring of Honor? I don't think that's business, I think it's personal. My Ring of Honor career is very VERY personal to me Steve. You want to find out how personal? Take that first step, fire that first shot, cast that first stone. You'll see that the Prophecy is ready, and Christopher Daniels is ready. Are you?" AWESOME. Next is a flashback to July 27th, 2002 when Low-Ki became the first ROH World Champion and cut a promo dedicated to Russ and Charlie Haas afterwards.
* Outcast Killaz v. Dunn & Marcos (Ring Crew Express)
Unfortunately before this match can even get underway Gary Michael Capetta comes out and invites CW Anderson into the ring. Anderson: "I didn't come out here to talk, I came out here to fight." Anderson threatens all four men in the ring saying they can leave right now or have their careers ended. Nobody leaves so Anderson starts clubbing everybody with rights and stacking up the wrestlers like cordwood with powerbombs and spinebusters. NO CONTEST. Anderson puts an armbreaker on Diablo Santiago from O.K. and he can't tap out fast enough. Anderson refuses to let go for a minute, then does and gloats smugly, grabbing a mic to cut another promo. "Anybody who wants a piece of the Enforcer come on out. C'mon there's got to be somebody here who wants a piece of me!" Suddenly up steps CM Punk to the apron, wiping his feet on the mat before stepping through the ropes. Looks like Anderson's challenge will be met!
* CM Punk v. CW Anderson
Punk starts things off with a promo of his own. "Who gives a fuck about South Carolina? So you want a challenge, you got a challenge, you showed up unlike somebody else so you've got the balls, let's get it on." Punk offers him a handshake and CW accepts it before giving Punk the mush to the face. Bell rings and we get a tie up as the announcers inform us that Reckless Youth was supposed to be Punk's opponent but wasn't able to make it tonight. Punk and CW do the wrestling 101 to start. Punk goes for a stepover, gets reversed and kicked in the face, locks it in and rolls Anderson to his back, who grabs the ropes for the break. Fans seem to be wanting both men to pick up the pace. Anderson goes for an arm, Punk counters and goes right back to the left leg again, but Anderson schoolboys him for a near fall. Now Anderson has Punk on the mat and he's working an arm. Punk counters into another nearl fall, and Anderson responds with a fireman's carry into a facebreaker. Punk rolls away and Anderson comes over to stomp on the arm and shoulder. Chop war. Anderson punches Punk in the face, whips him to the corner, Punk blocks with a forearm and goes top rope but CW sweeps the leg and Punk is CROTCHED. To the top, CW hits the superplex, both men are down. Punk hits a springboard DDT and both men are down again. Chops while they're laying on the ground, that's kind of different. They chop their way back to the feet. Knee lifts lead to Punk hitting a suplex and near fall. Both miss lariats and CW hits a suplex for 2. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Punk for 2. Rights by Punk. Shining wizard gets 2.5. Elk's Lodge is VERY restless. That's the other problem with doing a fake riot, it's hard to follow it with a technical match. Anderson nails a superkick and gets 2.8. Punk counters a spinebuster into a roll-up and gets 3 out of nowhere! WINNER: CM PUNK. Anderson and Punk exchange respect, just barely, and we get another blank & white flashback.
* 'American Dragon' Bryan Danielson v. Samoa Joe
Danielson had already been stablished as a star in ROH for a while now, but Joe's star was just starting to rise. The two bump chests and heads before the bell can even ring, but they do CAUTIOUSLY exchange a handshake. The announcers refer to this as an ROH rankings match where the winner will nudge closer to being #1 contender. Joe and Danielson do the test of strength. Joe powers him down into a backbridge and puts his weight on him with knees. Danielson gets to his back and counters with a boot in Joe's face. The two break and circle. This time it's American Dragon who gets the advantage, Joe and Danielson lock legs on the mat, Joe grabs the ropes for the break. Danielson sweeps the legs and goes for a front facelock and a drop elbow to the back of Joe's head while the legs are pinned. Dragon bridges Joe into pushing his face in the canvas, goes for another submission, Joe gets the break. Now Joe kicks him and turns over for a sit down crab, putting all his weight on Danielson's back, but he gets the ropes. Backbreaker and near fall. Time for the chop war, sometimes I think every ROH match has one. Dragon gives Danielson a headbutt and they do the tired "Samoans have hard heads" gimmick. Joe does a delayed vertical suplex and gets 2. Dragon responds by slapping Joe in the face with chops, whipping Joe across the ring, but Joe catches him and does the STO. Apparently it's the first or almost the first time he's ever done it in ROH as the crowd pops like crazy for that one arm slam and gives the "HOLY SHIT" chant. Dragon sells it like he's out cold and Joe kicks him in the face to wake him up. Snapmare and a chop to the back of the head followed by a stiff kick to the chest. The crowd's fully awake now and Joe's getting over in a major way. Another Low-Ki like kick and he steps back to see if Dragon can answer the 10 count. Joe paintbrushes him when he does and hits a powerbomb for 2.5 before turning it into an STF. Cena, take notes, this is how you do it! Danielson refuses to pass out and grabs the ropes. Danielson slowly crawls up and Joe chops him back down each time. Danielson's selling can not be understated here, he's making Joe look like a million bucks. Danielson finally gets his heat with an enzuguiri and both men are down. Dragon gets a second enzuguiri! Ref starts a 10 count but both men are up at 5. Danielson gets a series of European uppercuts, slams Joe into the turnbuckle, and charges in with the forearm. Snap DDT for a near fall! Joe counters Danielson into a german suplex bridge for a near fall. Dragon is in the corner and Joe does the facewash and the running knee. Joe snaps him for a pin attempt and gets 2. To the top rope, Dragon cuts him off and climbs up, superplex connects! Now Danielson to the top, flying headbutt gets 2.9! More uppercuts and slaps but Joe's fighting back with punches of his own. Two spinning forearms get a 2 count. Joe hits knees to the head from the North-South, running knee to the back of his head, Joe hits the powerbomb and goes for the cover but Danielson counters into THE UNBREAKABLE SMALL PACKAGE for 3. Hella good match! WINNER: BRYAN DANIELSON. This DVD is back on track. Another first year flashback follows.
Xavier comes out with Allison Danger to cut a promo and holds up his ROH title belt. "I don't know which fans I hate the most, the Philly fans or the Queens fans." The announcers say "he came out to say this, c'mon, let's get on with the show" and the fans chant "shut the fuck up" to emphasize the point. There's over an hour left in this long show though so I'm fast-forwarding through Xavier; he's not a terrible stick man but he's not that compelling either. It's time for another match!
* Paul London v. Low-Ki v. AJ Styles (#1 Contender's Match)
London wastes no time rising through the ranks of professional wrestling - ROH to TNA to WWE, but there are still times I wish he was wrestling as a bigger fish in the smaller pond rather than having to do jobs to embarassingly bad wrestlers like Deuce & Domino. Styles comes out to the familiar "you are, I am" refrain and Low-Ki comes out to his mystical music. All three are babyfaces here so the crowd is pretty evenly split, but Ki seems to get the most vocal pop before the bell rings. All three go at it early hitting spots, London dropkicks both men when it settles down, but then Low-Ki propels him into a baseball slide through the ropes. London comes back in, tosses Ki out, and goes for a suicide dive but gets cut off on the floor. Now Styles and Ki exchange chops and Ki wins out with a kick. Ki whips Styles into the barricade but Styles floats him chest first onto the guardrail when he charges. London frogsplashes from the ring onto both men! Holy shit that was dangerous, he nearly took his neck off on the guardrail. London throws Ki in and springboard an Oklahoma roll for 2. Ki responds with elbows and chops. London is thrown over the ropes and looks like he's going to skin the cat but AJ grabs the legs so Ki kicks him off and Styles lets him drop to the mat hard. Now Styles is in with Ki and the two fly across the ring until AJ hits a dropkick for 2. Backbreaker into a gutbuster but while Styles isn't looking London flies in with a dropkick for 2. London does 2 northern light suplexes in chain and then a fallaway slam with a bridge before Ki breaks the near fall up. Ki with a drop elbow on London for 2. Upppercut. Chops by Ki on London and a kick to the head. Ki goes over to work Styles. Styles whipped to the corner, ducks Ki coming in, enzuguiri! Ki blocks a springboard DDT attempt by Styles with a kick but London breaks up the 3. Vertical suplex countered into a dragon clutch but AJ breaks it up by DDT'ing Low-Ki and this triple spot gets another "HOLY SHIT" followed by an "R-O-H" chant.
Styles with an elbow to Daniels, whips him off, gut buster to knee breaker to t-bone suplex to cover for 2 before Ki breaks it up. Styles gets up, kicks Ki in the gut, and bridges the Muta lock to see if London will tap. He changes it to a neck lock but Ki is up and starts doing the martial arts kicks to London, the last one causing London and Styles to knock noggins. Ki puts Styles in a dragon clutch but London puts Ki in a neck lock, this spot is almost too insane to describe. You have to love ROH three-ways, they try to get all three involved at the same time as much as possible instead of "two men paired off and one man down on the outside" like TNA and WWE always do. Styles lights up Ki with chops and whips him across but Ki kicks him in the chin and knocks him down with a springboard, Styles kicks out before 3. Kicharges across the ring and does a crush rush into the turnbuckle. London comes over to break up a pin and the two get into chops and punches. Ki goes for a crush rush on London too but he counters into a DDT and all three men are down! London covers Ki for 2.5. London charges Styles for punches and forearms and sets him on the top rope. AJ knocks London down with fists to the back, London fires back with headbutts to the ribs, he goes back up again and Ki slams London hard in the back. London suplexes Ki into Styles who then attempts a Styles Clash but Ki fights out, 'ranas Styles towards London, London catches him in air and powerbombs him, London goes for the pin but Ki dropkicks him in the head. That happened so fast I had to rewind it three times to write it down, these guys are setting an INSANE pace. Everyone in the Elk's Lodge is on their feet for a standing ovation mid-match (and they should be). R-O-H, R-O-H. Ki knocks London down with a kick and turns to Styles, doing a hundred quick knee lifts but Syles avoids the last one and hits a German suplex, but Ki rolls through into a dragon clutch! Styles gets back to his feet, London comes over and slams Ki down face first to break it up and crawls over for the near fall. London misses the lariat and Styles hits two suplexes for 2, Ki stops the pin. Styles up first. Roaring clothesline by Styles and then he turns his attention to London. London blocks a charge with a boot but Ki hits a tidal crush and London is left on the top rope. Back kick by Ki to Styles for 2.8. Ki sees London on the top rope and goes over for a top rope Ki crusher, London fights back and the crowd starts yelling "PLEASE DON'T DIE." AJ comes over to get some, you know this is going to be an insane spot. They keep chopping punching headbutting each other, Ki hits the Ki Crusher on Styles, but London does a shooting star press on Styles before Ki can get the cover and it's 1-2-3~!~!!!!!!!! WINNER AND NEW TOP ROH CHALLENGER: PAUL LONDON.
The fans immediately start chanting "MATCH OF THE YEAR" and I'm hard pressed to disagree and say that anything in 2003 was better. Xavier starts taking off his street clothes at ringside. London helps Styles to his feet, walks him over to Low-Ki, and raises both of their hands as a show of respect, then all three slap hands as a team in the middle of the ring. R-O-H, R-O-H. Styles and Ki both congratulate London again and tell him to get that title belt off Xavier. After a brief video cut Xavier's in the ring, confronting London, telling him he's a crowd favorite but that he's not getting a title shot. He says if you want the title shot, you have to face me right NOW. Reluctantly London seems to accept the terms, the referee takes posession of the belt, Allison Danger gets in the ring, London spots her and turns around to get her out and you know the old song and dance as her heelish companion cheapshots London from behind and the ref rings the bell to get the match underway.
* Xavier {C} v. Paul London (ROH World Title)
The announcers are outraged that the Code of Honor was so blatantly broken as Xavier htis the double sledge from behind before the bell and starts whipping London pillar to post afterwards. London starts fighting back with chops and armdrags. Big forearm to Xavier's face, leg lariat, dropkick. Announcers: "Let's hope London did that extra time in the gym, did that extra cardio." Big Bear Mountain! Danger trips London and Xavier hits and overhead belly to belly suplex. Alexis Laree can't take it any more and runs out to get in a catfight with Allison Danger. Xavier comes out to make the save, Laree appears to have been cut in the face, she screams SCREW YOU XAVIER and the announcer says "I agree completely!" Laree stays at ringside to keep an eye on Danger as London and Xavier get back into it in the ring. London ducks X as he charges the ropes and pins him for 2 when he falls down. X suplexes London right on his head with a sloppy German and the crowd is not pleased. X with pucnhes and knees to the head as London is down. Everytime London starts to get up X knocks him back down. X pulls him up by the hair, throws him into the turnbuckle, London blocks a cobra clutch suplex attempt and pushes off the ropes for a near fall. Face first slam and London rolls him over for 2. Both up slow for a punch war. London charges Xavier and he throws him over the top rope through the timekeeper's table on the outside. Chops and punches outside by the guardrail. X throws him into the crushed table and he bumps over it into another guardrail. X beatdown on the outside continues for a couple minutes before London is thrown back in bleeding, so Xavier wipes the blood on his hand and draws an X across his chest. X goes for a pin but London kicks him off right in the face.
London gets up, Xavier punches him down and then chokes him on the ropes. Announcers are outraged again and say if you want rope chokes go watch "sports entertainment," once again playing it up to the smart marks. The thing is, this is actually a WWE style title match, with the cocky heel champion laying waste to the upstart babyface challenger, who valiantly fights back despite multiple beatings. Xavier puts London on the top rope for an X breaker but London counters into a crossbody splash for a near fall and follows up with two dropkicks. Springboard forearm and London picks up X and carries him to the corner to set up the SSP. He's going up too slow for it though and Xavier rolls out to the floor. London says okay screw it turns around and crossbodies X to the hard floor outside! "LET'S GO PAUL! LET'S GO PAUL!" X thrown back in, springboard moonsault, two count before X grabs the ropes. The announcers are putting over it being London's night so hard that you just know he's getting screwed and the heel's going to retain. Sure enough X goes for the eyepoke and the crowd boos, London still goes for a backslide and gets two, X nails him with an elbow. Xavier charges the ropes but Danger trips him, obviously instinctively believing that was her spot to interfere, only she should have paid more attention to who was in front of her. Danger apologizes profusely and London comes over to dropkick X in the head as the crowd chants "YOU SCREWED UP." London tries to fly over the top rope to hit Xavier but X puts Danger in the way and London crashes into her instead. London comes over to check on her and make sure she's okay, Xavier charges him for a spear, London sidesteps and Danger is down AGAIN. London does a moonsault off the guardrail onto the floor on X, seemingly doing more damage to his knees than his opponent. London throws Xavier in and he begs off but London still unloads with fists and kicks and punches. DDT! 1-2-2.9! London goes to the top rope as X staggers to his feet, X cuts him off, climbs up and the two exchange forearms, London blocks the superplex attempt and hits the SSP but Danger drags Xavier out before the ref can count 3. It's all over. WINNER BY DQ: PAUL LONDON. Laree and Danger immediately get into a catfight in the ring. The ref clears the ring and London and Xavier get back in... WAIT IT'S NOT OVER as apparently the ref decided NO DQ since Xavier's not going to be allowed to cheat his way into retaining the title. Both men exchange punches. Xavier hits the Kiss Your X Goodbye, goes top rope, hits the 450 and goes for the pin: 1-2-LONDON KICKS OUT!~! Xavier picks him up, goes for the X breaker, London schoolboys him instead for 2.9. Another roll up for a near fall. Xavier rolls through for a roll-up of his own and grabs a handful of the tights for 3. OFFICIALLY THIS MATCH IS NOW OVER AND XAVIER RETAINS. He and Danger quickly exit the ring, walking right in front of Green Lantern Fan on their way out - I was wondering where that dork was at. Laree gets in the ring and she's pissed but she helps London back to his feet as the crowd chants "BULLSHIT" at the finish.
Well ladies and gents the card on the back of this DVD promised the scramble match second from the top and the title match last, but with an hour left on this DVD and all of the best matches already done I just don't have the stomach for a sloppy 13 man scramble involving Da Hit Squad, SAT, Divine Storm and Special K. Quite frankly how the fuck could that top Danielson v. Joe, London v. Ki v. Styles, or even Mark v. Jay Briscoe - it just can't. I'm just not much of a fan of ROH scrambles, they're like bad lucha, and if I wanted to watch bad lucha I'm sure AAA could oblige - maybe those wacky guys who all dress like KISS against the Alienigistas with bad outer space costumes straight out of a Power Rangers episode. For historical reasons I'll tell you the finish but I'll be damned if I'm watching the match, that's an hour of my life I won't get back if I do.
* ROH Scramble Rules Match WINNER: HIT SQUAD, SAT & DIVINE STORM.
I've never been so happy to watch a match on fast forward in my life. Still I highly recommend this DVD for at least three **** matches, one of which is easily a MOTY candidate, and if you're obsessed with self-torture watch the main event that should have been buried in the undercard otherwise move on to another in the fine series of RING OF HONOR DEE-VEE-DEEZ~! See you next time for another AngryMarks.com ROH review.