Welcome back to our regular series of reviews covering RING OF HONOR DEE-VEE-DEEZ! For more information visit www.ROHWrestling.com and don't forget to buy a few DVD's of your own while there. This week we're covering Survival of the Fittest from June 24th, 2004 in Philadelphia, PA. Without further adieu here are the CURRENT CHAMPIONS at the start of this show:
* ROH Tag Team Champions: CM Punk & Colt Cabana
* ROH Pure Champion: vacated (formerly AJ Styles)
* ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe
When we last left off on June 12th, CM Punk and Samoa Joe had wrestled to a one hour time limit in Joe's defense of the ROH World Title. Who would step up to challenge him a little over two weeks later? Nobody actually. "Survival of the Fittest" was a tournament to determine the pecking order in ROH and figure out just WHO that next challenger would be. Let's get right into the action.
The show opens with a Carnage Crew promo I honestly could care less about, so thankfully it's not long before Mark Briscoe and Alex Shelley hit the ring. Shelley is getting a huge pop in Philadelphia and it's time for a Survival of the Fittest qualifying match. The announcers Jimmy Bower and Mark Nolte and to be honest I have no idea who the "wrestling historian" Mark Nolte is. They point out this is a brand new tournament in Ring of Honor as the action gets underway.
* Alex Shelley v. Mark Briscoe (SOF Qualifying Match)
Nolte breaks out the bad commentary early and reminds us that you'll have to "survive" your survival qualifier just to make it to a six-man match at the end of the show. Shelley favors a left knee throughout which Briscoe is more than eager to go after. Briscoe in return is selling the neck and throat, which leads to lots of neckbreakers and slams. Hopefully whoever wins this will remember to sell the same injury by the grand finale. A fisherman buster leads to both men being down for a ten count, and when they get up Briscoe gives Shelley a dragon screw to the knee on the ropes and follows it up with a missile dropkick. Briscoe puts him in a cloverleaf hoping for a submission but Briscoe gets the rope break. The camera placement and lights are really irritating here as three big lamps keep the dark mat visible but simultaneously leave purple spots on your retina. Alex Shelley rolls through a snap suplex and looks like he might be going for another but instead transitions to a Border City Stretch. Briscoe is able to counter out of it though due to Shelley's knee being weakened and rolls up Shelley for the pin! WINNER AND ADVANCING IN SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST: MARK BRISCOE. Short match but fun to watch - definitely a solid opener for a ROH DVD or show.
* Trent Acid v. 'Classic' Colt Cabana (SOF Qualifying Match)
Trent Acid is billed at being "over nine inches long" and I'm immediately reminded of Mauro Ranallo. Cabana doesn't come out wearing his tag title but they do put him over as being one half of the champions. Cabana outwrestles and humiliates Trent Acid and he nearly takes a powder back through the curtain. Huge COLT CA-BANA chant follows. Good God does Acid's hair look greasy. Cabana and Acid have a slap war which Cabana wins, hopefully knocking some of the jheri curl out of his hair. Acid charges him for a kick, Cabana ducks and thinks he has Acid fooled, but it was a double swerve as Acid waits for him to stick his head up and pokes him in the eye. Since Acid is a hometown heel this gets a Flair-esque pop. The action spills out to the floor briefly but Cabana throws him back in the ring with ease before stomping on his groin and driving a knee to the back. Cabana snapmares him, twists his neck with the boots, and goes for a quick cover. There is an extended stretch of Cabana dominating and going for near falls. Acid gets his comeback and goes for a DDT, Cabana blocks, so Acid sits down with him straight off the top rope. This leads to a period of Acid dominating with kicks before Cabana gets a gut buster and follows up with a move Nolte calls the "Piretti special" - it looks like Cabana used his legs to scissor Acid while simultaneously pinning his shoulders to the mat. WINNER AND ADVANCING IN THE TOURNAMENT: COPA CABANA. We get a backstage interview with the Briscoes but since I'm getting flashbacks to Jeremy Borash I just fast forward to the next match.
* Austin Aries and John Walters is NO CONTEST
There's an Alex Shelley promo before the match where he's flanked by his Generation Next screw and tells John Walters that unlike GN he doesn't have "talent on loan from God" so he can either step down or get beat down. Walters looks like he's going to step through the ropes and make his exit but then steps back through to surprise them with punches and chops. Big mistake as this leads to a four on one beatdown including the use of a steel chain wrapped around a fist. Shelley dangles the chain from his hand as he announces Aries as advancing in the tournament. Gary Michael Capetta tells Alex Shelley it's not that easy, ROH always has a back up plan, and he brings out Josh Daniels. To make a long story short it's now a tag match with whoever gets the pinfall advancing.
* John Walters & Josh Daniels v. Austin Aries & Roderick Strong (SOF Qualifying Match)
Jack Evans is incredulous as the match gets underway, screaming at Walters "IS YOU BRAIN DEAD!!!" Strong & Aries tease walking away from the match before stepping back through the ropes, but neither Walters or Daniels are fooled. The babyfaces run wild early, cutting off the ring to give Aries a two on one beatdown. A Gory special turns into a backslide for a two count before Josh Daniels comes back in. The commentators speculate for a bit on whether Josh Daniels is still in Prince Nana's faction or not. Aries finally breaks off a kick to get a little distance and tags out. Walters and Daniels cut off the ring and give him more of the same. Nolte says if they do well in this match they might want to consider tagging together on a regular basis. Strong hits a hangmen's neckbreaker and tags out. The action spills out of the ring after a chop fest and of course this is a numbers advantage for Generation Next. Aries comes back in with a senton over the ropes and covers Walters for two. Heels run wild for a while with quick tags and double teaming. Every single gimmick you can think of for a tag team to cheat and get heat, Strong & Aries do - fake tags, ref distraction, cheap shots and the whole nine - they even spit on Josh Daniels to get him to run in and run interference for them. Walters escapes the double team and starts to crawl to the wrong corner but gets turned around and finally makes the hot tag. Daniels and Strong have a chop war before Daniels hits him with a german suplex on Aries. Daniels hits a tiger suplex but Strong breaks up the pin. Double knees to the chin and the back of Strong but it's a clusterfuck now as all four men are in the ring and Aries hits a 450 splash on Walters to get the pin. WINNER AND ADVANCING TO THE SOF: AUSTIN ARIES.
* Homicide (with Julius Smokes) v. Jay Briscoe (SOF Qualifying Match)
I'll give you one guess what's going to happen here. Even though Homicide is supposed to be a heel and won't even give Jay Briscoe a handshake that doesn't stop Philadelphia from giving him a superstar reaction. Gabe Sapolsky nee Jimmy Bower states over and over again that "the demon has been brought out" of Homicide and there's little question of that watching him wrestle as he dominates Jay with ease. Armdrags, dropkick, baseball slide to the outside, but Briscoe hits a shoulder coming back through the ropes and finally gets on offense. The ref stops Briscoe from doing a pescada to the outside on Homicide, he tries to sneak back in behind him, Briscoe is not at all fooled. Punch war follows. Briscoe stays in control with punches chops and suplexes but Homicide makes his comeback with a dragon screw to the leg and a knee to the face. Homicide chokes him in the corner with a boot and hits another running knee after the ref forces a break. Speaking of breaks Homicide hits a hangman's neckbreaker for 2. Sitout piledriver for two as Mark Briscoe yells at him. Triangle choke on Briscoe as the crowd chants for a tap. Briscoe gets a rope break. A lot of rest holds and long chokes by Homicide during this part of the match. Briscoe fights off a superplex attempt and comes back with a missile dropkick for 2. Jay Driller attempt is blocked.
Both men are selling being tired and woozy. Cop Killer attempt is blocked but he hits a kick to the chin for 2. They're giving this match much more time than I would have expected especially given how 'Cide dominated early. Both men knock each other down for the ref's ten count but get back up in time. Briscoe with a falcon arrow for 2.5. Smokes screams encouragement from the outside and then grabs a foot to block Briscoe hitting the Jay Driller. Briscoe rewards Julius Smokes with a punch to the head. Briscoe goes top rope but Smokes grabs the leg again. Homicide gives him an ace cutter and a lariat and it's all over. WINNER AND ADVANCING TO SOF: HOMICIDE. This ending got some heat, especially since Jay Briscoe sells the neck and the ref throws up the X. Just remember kids - when you see it on TV, it's a work. Homicide mockingly offers the prone Jay a handshake and Mark can take no more, but everybody who hits the ring gets a lariat too. Instead of keeping the heat on Homicide this has the opposite effect - the crowd starts to pop for this gangster-ass beating. Julius Smokes cuts a heel promo on the crowd to kill that noise and Homicide tells them all to "SHUT THE FUCK UP." Never has a heel promo backfired more - they chant his name even LOUDER. Finally the cameramen and everybody involved just give up on it knowing it's not working.
* Jack Evans v. Bryan Danielson (SOF Qualifying Match)
Evans mocks the fact they're both from Washington State as he comes out to the ring, saying he knows Danielson "from his hood." Evans does a backspin in the ring and the crowd loudly chants YOU GOT SERVED at Danielson. Danielson laughs it off and asks him to do it again. Evans does an even more prolonged backspin, Danielson admits he can't do it, but does a dance move of his own by gyrating his hips suggestively! Now the crowd tells Evans that HE got served. Comedy opener over we finally get down to the wrestling. Dragon jumps out of the ring in the middle of the match to argue with a fan which prompts a "FUCK HIM UP DRAGON, FUCK HIM UP" chant. I'm going to make a long story short here since this is largely Danielson putting on a wrestling clinic, doing all of his whacky stretches and holds, twisting Evans up into a pretzel at will. Evans does get a brief comeback with kicks and brawling on the outside, but once back in the ring it's not long before Danielson bends his back in a way that shouldn't be humanly possible and Evans submits. WINNER AND ADVANCING TO THE SOF FINALS: BRYAN DANIELSON.
* Samoe Joe {C} v. Matt Stryker (SOF Qualifying Match - non-title)
It's a bit surprising that Joe would even have to be in this tournament let alone qualify given he is the champ, but it's still nice to see him come out with the belt over his shoulder and hear his Jadakiss music. The "Joe is gonna kill you" chants start early. Since this is the last qualifying match this will conclude the first half of our review, with the second half to be posted early tomorrow. Stryker grounds Joe and repeatedly smashes knees into his right arm, prompting loud "STRYKER SUCKS" chants. This doesn't keep Joe down for long, and each time Stryker tries a big move Joe seems to find a way to block it. The most spectacular sequence is Stryker going for a splash in the corner, Joe tossing him off judo style, doing a suicide dive through the ropes onto Stryker when he rolls out. He sets up for the "ole ole" Pele kick but Stryker runs away and the crowd is PISSED. When they get back in the ring Joe takes out his frustration with chops. Stryker winds up in an STF but he gets to the ropes for a break. Stryker responds with a death valley driver but Joe kicks out at the last tenth of a second. Stryker tries to soften Joe up for another but to no avail as Joe keeps throwing him off. Stryker gets up on the top rope with Joe and hits a superplex, rolls over for a cover but Joe kicks out at 2.5. Stryker's DVD is blocked, Joe scoops him up for an island driver, and just like that it's all over! FINAL QUALIFYER FOR THE SOF FINALS: SAMOA JOE. Yes indeed ladies and gents, the champ is here! A very solid and satisfying first half of the show with what I'm sure is plenty more good action to come. Be here for part two!