| Date: 10/08 | 8:00 PM |
| Views: 2,683 | |
Hot damn, I've got a few spare hours at work tonight, I'll be here covering Raw LIVE tonite!
We start the show with Mr. McMahon coming out and informing the fans that he promised that history would be made at last night's WWE No Mercy PPV. We recap the announcement of Randy Orton as the new WWE Champion, Triple H defeating him for it in the firsts match of the night, Triple H defeating Umaga to retain it, and then losing it back to Orton in a "Last Man Standing" match.
Back to the ring, McMahon said that history will be made again, as each WWE wrestler will come out and personally shake the hand of Randy Orton and show respect to the new champion. McMahon then says that Randy Orton's next title defense will be at WWE Cyber Sunday, "where I give up all control and give it to the fans." Uh-huh.
Before Vince can go on further, Triple H's music hitis, and he struts out, spits some water, and then gets in the ring, mic in-hand. Vince tells Triple H to calm down. Fans start chanting for Trips. Vince starts to talk, Trips tells him to shut up. Triple H says the fans don't care about Cyber Sunday right now, but tonight. Triple H says that just like Randy Orton invoked his rematch clause last night, Triple H is invoking his tonight, he wants Orton TONIGHT on Raw!
Vince tells HHH to be careful of what he wishes for, because he was in three matches last night, and this may not be in his best interest, but if HHH wants it, he'll make it happen, the main event will be Triple H against Randy Orton for the WWE Championship ... and Orton's partner, UMAGA! It's a handicap match for the strap tonight, and Triple H isn't happy! Also tonigiht, we'll talk with former WWE Champion John Cena ("via satellite"). Off to commercial we go!
Six-Diva Tag Team Match: WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix, Melina Perez & Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James, Maria Kanellis & Candice Michelle
"The Glamazon" Beth Phoenix, our new WWE Women's Champion, walks out first and is introduce. She raisies her title above her head, gets in the ring and poses. Melina & Jillian are initroduced next, followed by the babyface. We start off the action quick and hot with Melina & Maria, Mariai tagging in Mickie James, and they go up to the top turnbuckle in order to brawl. Jillian comes over to interfere, and Mickiei gets caught up in the ropes. Phoenixi is tagged ini, she picks up Mickie by her feet and breaks a leg over her knee. Jillian is tagged in, she goes to work on James' left knee. Perez is tagged in and James takes a double hairmare, Perez with a pini attempt, then into an submission hold.
James fights her off, tries for an enziguri, Perez ducks it, but James makes it out for a hot tag to Candice Michelle, who cleans house and then focuses on Jillian Hall. Michelle with an armwringer into a Northern Lights suplex bridged inito a pin, but Beth Phoenix breaks it up. Everybody spills to the outside, Beth Phoenix brutatlizing Mickie James on the outside. In the ring, Jillian Hall tries a cartwheel into the corner, Michelle catches her in a headscissor, pulls her over and gets the pin.|
WINNERS: Candice Michelle, Mickie James & Maria Kanellis
Back from the commercial break, Johnathan Coachman has returned and notices that William Regal has started to redecorate Coachman's old office. Regal congratulates Coachman on his return, Coach bitches about having to use a cane. And there was a quip about Regal's photos he wants to put up, everybody is a "queen". Mr. McMahon comes in and thanks Regal for watching Hornswaggle last week, and it will be his permament job. McMahon leaves, Regal turns around and tells Coachman that it is now his job to watch Hornswaggle. They argue about it, then Coach goes to check on Hornswaggle, supposedly taking a nap. SURPRISE! Hornswaggle is gone.
We go into a promo for Cyber Sunday 2007, three weeks away. We're reminded that John Cena is going to do an interview. Another commercial break, and a promo for Undertaker & Kane vs WWE Tag Team champions MVP & Matt Hardy!
Santino Marella vs. Val Venis
Marella enters first, no Maria with her. We recap last week's Raw where Marella attacks Val Venis, injuring his lelft knee. Venis is introduced next, and WOW! He looks in as good of shape as ever. Wait, when did Marella get all those shitty tattoos put on? Venis gets in the ring, Marella rolls out, and for some reason goes over and introduces Lillian Garcia. Marella congratulates Lillian's band on her performance tonight, and then says OH! He forgot! He can't wrestle tonight, he's got a previous engagement (even though he is dressed to wrestle). He says that William Regal has already picked out his replacement ... SNNIIIITTTTSSSSKKKYYYYYY. Ugh.
Val Venis vs. Gene Snitsky
Snitsky gets in the ring, and then we get the bell. Snitsky with a knee to the gut, then attacks Venis' knee, wrenches it over the outside of the apron, gets back ini and stomps on it, then puts Venis in the corner. Snitsky works the eknee over more, pulls Venis out and slams him. Snitsky with an elbow drorp off the ropes, goes for a clothesline. Venis ducks it, fights Snitsky off, but Snitsky nails him with a big boot to the gut, latches on a ddouble underhook, slams him down, then clotheslines him. At least Snitsky picked up a new move during his 30 day suspension. Snitsky finishes Venis off with the pump handle slam.
WINNER: Gene Snitsky, by pinfall.
We then get a promo for Evander Holyfield vs. Ibragimov PPV. Holyfield worked for WWE a few months ago on Saturday Night's Main Event, and WWE is returning the rub by promoting the PPV. They had some interview footage with Holyfield and some training video. Up next, John Cena's interview, after this break!
John Cena Interview
Back from a break and the new 2ND_COMING Matrix style video, we're "live" from Tampa, FL via satellite with John Cena. JR asks Cena how long he is out, Cena says he's told 7-12 months. JR asks about the pain, Cena says he's in a lot of pain, but he has to focus on getting better. Lawler says last night Orton said his injury saved him the embarassment of losing to Orton. Cena says Orton is over-confident right now, but now Orton needs to focus on not just Cena or even Triple H, but tonight he'll have to face EVERY WWE superstar tonight, and one of them is going to target him. Cena wraps up his interview and thanks Ross & Lawler.
WWE Championship - Handicap Match: WWE Champion Randy Orton & Umaga vs. Triple H
Randy Orton's music immediately hits, and the new WWE Champion comes down to the ring. He poses, and we go to commercial. We're going to the title match ALREADY? They must know the ratings alrleady suck. We come back from break, Orton's music is still playing, Orton is still in the ering, alone. Orton is staring at Lawler & Ross for some reason. Umaga's music finally hits, he marches down the ring. Does Umaga have the word "FAT" tattooed down the center of his back now?? I sear that's what I saw. More posing. Finally Triple H's "Time to Play the Game" music hits, and we're going to get another bloated entrance, being sure that Trip sucks in his gut so that the lights reflect off his six-pack. OOOH. Shiny.
Triple H gets in theh ring, bell rings, and it's going to be a 2-on-1 match, everybody in the ring at once. Umaga eats a facebuster, Orton tries an RKO, HHH pushes him into Umaga, Umaga falls to the outside. HHH with a pin, Umaga pulls HHH out, throws him into the rails, into the apron, then busts his head before putting him in the ring. Orton stomps on HHH's ribs, Umaga headbutts them. Orton strattles HHH and punches him, Umaga witih feet to the ribs, Orton with knees to the ribs, Umaga with a headbutt. Orton lays out HHH, Umaga with a splash. HHH crawls for a corner, Umaga & Orton take turns punching away at HHH's ribs.
I got called away for a minute, I come back with HHH putting a facebuster on Umaga, sets up for the Pedigree, Orton hits HHH from behind, HHH punches Umaga out of the ring, Pedigree set up on Orton, Umaga in with a chair, hits HHH, and he just picked up a DQ win.
WINNER: Triple H, by DQ, title doesn't change hands
After the match, they double-team HHH, Orton with an RKO, wawlks off. Umaga with ass splash in the corner on Triple H. Wash, rinse, repeat. Umaga rolls HHH out to the middle of the ring, climbs the top turnbuckle and nails the splash. ZOMG! This is the most that Triple H has sold for somebody in 3 years, I swear! Fans start a "You Suck" chant. Umaga picks up a limp HHH and delivers a Samoan Spike. Umaga stands straddled over Triple H's body as his music plays, then gets down in Triple H's face, wiping Trips' blood o ff of his forehead. The refs get in and check on HHH, who tries to sit up, but instetad curls over and starts coughing up saliva. Fans start a "Triple H" chant, we get every camera angle possible as Trips is helped to his feet, the fans cheer. Three more referees show up to help Hunter out of the rinig, and he shoves them all off. Hunter staggers up the ramp and collapses again. The fans cheer and encourage him to get up as the cameras fade on the fallen HUN-TOR! Commercial.
We come back, Triple H is still being helped to the back, Mr. McMahon comes out and says he didn't see what happened. He asks if HHH is hurt, then he says he doesn't care, HHH will be out there to shake Randy Orton's hand, even if he is on a stretcher.
Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs. The Highlanders (Robbie & Rory McAllister)
London & Kendrick come out first. We're reminded that this match happened becauses of what happened THREE WEEKS AGO, when the Highlanders attacked L&K during their title match againist champs Cade & Murdoch. Highlanders come out next. Wait, I thought they said they wern't going to wrestle anymore? Silly Scots.
Paul London starts out a gainst Rory, London takes out Rory & Robbie on the apron, Robbie gets in, Kendrick gets in, Highlanders get knocked to the outside, L&K with the top rope planchas, then back in in the ring. Rory gets the upper hand on London, tags into Robbie. Robbie with some double axehandle smashes, a pin attempt, tags in Rory, they hit a double headbutt onto London. Rory with a reverse chinlock, extra knee to the back of London's neck. London puunches his way out, hot tags made, Kendrick with dropkicks all over Robbie, about a dozen of them, then a nice heel kick, pin attempt.
Rory runs in and tries to take out London, London pulls down the rope, then hits a splash on Rory on the outside. Robbie is put in the corner, Kendrick charges, Robbie with a boot up, rolls up Kendrick and puts his legs on the top turnbuckle to steal the win.
WINNERS: The Highlanders, by pinfall.
We get the latest update on the 2007 Diva Search, which you can watch on WWE.com because I'm not covering this shit. We go backstage, Coaochman asks an official if he's seen a leprerchaun. The guy says, "What have you been smoking?" and walks off. He then asks Cody Rhodes if he's seen him, Cody says no and walks off. William Regal comes up and asks Coachman if he's found him, Coach says he's trying to find him, Regal says try harder. We go to commerecial, NOW we're told that Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Kennedy is next! FUCK! Why didn't they tell us this an HOUR ago? Geez, WWE obviously doesn't want ratings here. Commercial.
Lillian Garcia is on stage after our break, and her band performs her new single, "Quieror Vivir", which I'm not sure what that means in Spanish, but it soundsd OK to me. Afterwards, Santino Marella comes out and tells Lillian to "scram!" WTF? I thought Marella said he had another engagement? Marella says he's got something to sing, and it's apparently a song again bitching about "The Condemned" and Steve Austin's acting ability. Lord. Waste of time. I've never wanted to beat somebody with a sock full of nickels as I do right now. But up next, Kennedy vs. Hardy!
WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Kennedy
Mr. Kennedy takes to the ring for his self-introduction. He says he's not going to waste his time running his mouth, actions speak louder than words. He takes an extra-long amount of time to finish up his intro, enough for the fans to start a friendly "You Suck!" chant before they cheer his ending ... "KENNEDY!" Jeff Hardy is introduced next, Jim Ross tells us that this is Raw's 750th broadcast. Wow.
Fans start chanting for Hardy, we get a lock-up, Kennedy with a side headlock, Hardy with a reverse waistlock, Kennedy grabs the ropes and throws him off, shoulderblock by Kennedy, return shoulderblock by Hardy. Hardy tries for a legdrop, misses, Kennedy gets hit with a double-leg takedown and a legdrop into the midsection, pin attempt by Hardy. Kennedy gets up and beats up on Hardy, Northeren Lights suplex, pin ttempt by Kennedy.
Hardy shoves off Kennedy, Kennedy slaps Hardy, Hardy spears Kennedy through the ropes to the outside, referee starts a count. Hardy picks up Kennedy, Kennedy with a knee to the midsection, throws Hardy in. Hardy gets up and nails a baseball slide dropkick on Kennedy. Hardy gets to the top turnbuckle, goes for a dive, Kennedy moves out of the way and Hardy eats the barrier as we go to commercial.
We come back from break, Kennedy has Hardy in a Boston Crab submission, then whips Hardy into the buckle. Kennedy charges, Hardy puts up a boot to stop him. Hardy goes to the top turnbuckle for the Swanton Bomb, Kennedy dropkicks Hardy off, goes for a pin, two-count. Kennedy pulls Hardy out to the middle of the ring, goes for the Boston Crab again, locks it in, Hardy reaches for the ropes, Kennedy forced to break. Kennedy puts Hardy's leg on the ropes and stomps on it, Hardy kicks Kennedy out, Kennedy tries to pull Hardy out of the ring, Hardy kicks him off. Kennedy gets in and nails a chop block from behind on Hardy's knee, pin attempt, Hardy kicks out. Kennedy grabs Hardy, Hardy with a jawjacker, then a pair of clothesliines, a back elbow smash, Kennedy punches the knee to take Hardy out.
Hardy tries for a backslide, puts his feet on the ropes, Hardy kicks out. Kennedy picks up Hardy, whips him off the ropes, Hardy reverses and hits a sidie Russian legsweep and another legdrop into the midsection, into a pin attempt. Hardy with a boot to the midsection, sets up Kennedy for the Twist of Fate, Kennedy reverses, Hardy reverses again and nails a front-face powerslam. Hardy tries for the Swanton Bomb, Kennedy rolls out, Hardy eats the mat. Kennedy goes for a pin, two-count, Hardy reverses the pin and gets the 1-2-3!
WINNER: Jeff Hardy, by pinfall.
Backstage, Mr. McMahon tells William Regal that he wants everybody out at the ring tonight, including Hornswaaggle. McMahon asks where Hornswaggle is at, Regal flusters and says Hornswaggle is taking a nap. Coachman runs in and says he can't find him. McMahon asks who. Coachman & Regal start stuttering, McMahon asks if they mean Hornswaggle. Hornswaggle then pops out of a box, stretches and yawns. McMahon says to get him ready and leaves. Regal tells Coachman to get him ready and leaves.
Hornswaggle then takes Johnathan Coachman's cane away from him and beats the piss out of him with it. Nothing else I can say can do this justice, I'm laughing my ass off. Commercial.
Randy Orton's Handshaking Ceremony
Everybody is surrounding the ring, Mr. McMahon is in the ring, he says history is again about to be made as every WWE Superstar shakes the hand of the new WWE Champion. Randy Orton is introduced next, Orton makes hiis way down to the ring. Fans boo as Mr. McMahon introduces Orton again as he stands on a podium. Mr. McMahon offers his hand, he wants to be the first.
Orton shakes Mr. McMahon's hand, thanks him. Orton says that he stands before everybody proud of the fact that nobody has deserved to be the WWE Champion like he does. He sees a lot of jealousy on everybody's faces, and a lot of dispair because the one-man dynasty has only just begun, and Orton will reign for a long time. He tells all the WWE wrestlers to put a smile on their faces, put their jealousies aside, come up to him, shake his hand, and say "Good luck, champ!"
Mr. McMahon says it is time to get this started, he wants Triple H to get it started. Triple H is not at ringside, McMahon says he wants Triple H brought out on a stretcher. He then says that if Triple H won't come out, Randy Orton will go get him. Orton leaves the ring to do so.
"OH! MY! GOD!" It's Shawn Michaels! Wow, that came out of nowhere! HBK appears at the top of the ramp, and slowly makes his way down. Randy Orton quickly backpedals his way down the ring, HBK charges, Orton tries to cut him off with a belt shot, HBK pummels him, they brawl, they stand up ... SUPERKICK! Randy Orton goes down with a glass jaw! KO'ED!
HBK immediately celebrates, we recap what just happened, then go back to HBK praising God on the podium, then looking down over Randy Orton's limp body.
That's it, that's the end of the show. We got swerved out of nowhere.