| Date: 10/23 | 4:18 AM |
| Views: 3,231 | |
Hopefully Stevie J & Lady J enjoyed the live Raw action tonight in Omaha, NE. Unfortunately, for me, as usual, I have to wait until Tuesday morning to get Raw downloaded and watched. Was it worth the wait? We'll find out!
Ken Kennedy kicks off the show right in the middle of the ring, he's campaigning with the fans as to why they should vote for him to face WWE Champion Randy Orton at WWE Cyber Sunday this weekend. Kennedy compares Jeff Hardy to Hillary Clinton, they're both blonde, they both have famous last names, and they both last testicles. He then compares Shawn Michaels to Rudy Guilliani, both of them live in the past. Kennedy runs down his accomplishments: former United States Champion, former Mr. Money in the Bank, and wins over former WWE champions Batista, Rey Mysterio and Undertaker. He ends his segment paraphrasing, "Ask not what Mr. Kennedy can do for you, ask what you can do for Mr. Kennedy!"
Jeff Hardy then gets on the mic from somewhere in the building, the lights come up, the camera pans around, and eventually he's spotted in the crowd, among the fans. Hardy tells Kennedy that if he's a candidate, his approval rating sucks. Kennedy warns Hardy not to get into a debate with him, and then accuses him of sucking up to the fans. The fans start a "HAR-DY! HAR-DY!" chant. Hardy runs down Kennedy's failures, which ticks him off. Hardy then tells Kennedy he's about to get his ass kicked, Hardy rushes the ring and they're all over each other like stink on shit.
Randy Orton immediately runs down to make it a 2-on-1 battle. Kennedy holds down Hardy by his legs, Orton sets up for the kick to the head, Shawn Michaels runs down and takes on Orton, chasing him to the back. Kennedy and Hardy resume tearing into each other, Hardy clotheslines Kennedy out of the ring, Kennedy falls into the announcer's table, Kennedy's music hits, Kennedy backs off and heads up the ramp.
TONIGHT: Candice Michelle gets a rematch against Beth Phoenix for the WWE Women's Championship in a 2-out-of-3 Falls bout! Should be interesting! And I'm going to predict that we'll get a main event of Hardy/Michaels vs. Kennedy/Orton. We take a commercial, come back to highlight the last segment. Oh, wait, I didn't have to predict that, apparently that was announced on Raw last week, I fergotted it.
Mickie James, Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs. Melina Perez & WWE World Tag Team Champions Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
This is interesting, although slightly retarded. The two guys can freely trade in and out, but only James and Perez will fight each other. C'mon, I wanna see Mickie hit the Mick-Kick Combo on Lance Cade! Instead, Cade's gonna square off with Paul London, London with a side headlock, Cade makes several attempts but eventually throws him off and takes control. London quickly takes the advantage with high-speed moves, gets a pin attempt and tags in Brian Kendrick. James cheerleads on the side as London & Kendrick trade off tags, Mickie gets tired of waiting though and tags herself in, SHE WANTS A PIECE OF LANCE CADE! But, she's gotta let him tag out.
Melina comes up and slaps the taste out of Mickie's mouth, Mickie don't like that very well though, whips Melina off the ropes and hits 2/3s of the Mick-Kick Combo, tags in Brian Kendrick, Trevor Murdoch in, who hits a jawbreaker on Kendruck, tags in Cade, Cade with a cover for a two-count and goes on earing Kendrick down. They talk about London & Kendrick's brief WWE World Tag Team Title reign on the South Africa tour a few months ago. Kendrick eventually makes the hot tag to Londdon, London explodes on Murdoch with lots of kicks, goes for a pin, Lance Cade breaks it up.
Melina runs in to try to do something, Mickie James leaps in, Thes Press on Melina, Melina gets tossed outside. Lance Cade sets up for a big clothesline on Paul London, Trevor Murdoch shoves James out of the way, London ducks the clothesline, Kendrick clotheslines Cade out, London nails the Shooting Star Press on Murdoch and picks up the win.
WINNERS: Mickie James, Paul London & Brian Kendrick, by pinfall
Mickie James looks a little stunned and confused as she rolls out and looks back into the ring, London & Kendrick join her. Murdoch tries to get up off of the canvas, a pissed off Lance Cade shoves him back down and bitches about the fucked-up finished.
The WWE Diva Search is next. I fast forward. We then get a promo for the new Rey Mysterio DVD collection, "The World's Biggest Little Man". Stevie J wrote a review of this 3-disc DVD collection last week.
Back from the break, Shawn Michaels comes up to Jeff Hardy in the locker room. Hardy says something about wanting to make a statement. Michaels says he's got something personal against Orton and plans on hitting the superkick on Orton, and then plans on getting voted in on Cyber Sunday. Hardy says that he expects to get in as well, and he wants his opportunity. Michaels accuses Hardy of not having his back, Hardy says "I'm just gonna do what you would do" and walks off.
Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas come up on Cody Rhodes, who is reading the new WWE Magazine. They joke about how many times Rhodes has been beaten by Bob Holly. Benjamin tells Rhodes he's got good news: he's not getting beaten up by Bob Holly; there's also bad news: Rhodes will get beaten up by Benjamin instead. Rhodes calls Benjamin a tool and says he's got more respect for Holly than he ever will for Benjamin. Benjamin gets pissed and tells Rhodes he's basically going to kick his ass, and then Rhodes can dye his hair and "be a younger, blonder, less talented version of your father". Haas finishes up with an "Aww SCHNAP!"
Elsewhere backstage, Johnathan Coachman is trying to persuade WWE Raw GM William Regal to sign him in a match against Hornswaggle, I guess revenge for Hornswaggle blowing Mr. Coachman up underneath the ring. Coachman tells Regal that Mr. McMahon is embarassed by Hornswaggle, and if he makes this match, it will help out the McMahons. Regal makes it official, Johnathan Coachman vs. Hornswaggle. Coachman corrects Regal and suggest that Hornswaggle should have to face ... UMANGA! Regal takes a sourpuss face, walks off and mulls it over. Commercial.
Cody Rhodes vs. Shelton Benjamin (w/ Charlie Haas)
Rhodes makes his entrance first, we recap last week's losing effort against Bob Holly. Benjamin & Haas enter next, cutting up and laughing at Rhodes. Benjamin takes the upper hand early, the scrappy Rhodes fights back, hits a side headlock, but Shelton easily gets out and takes him down. Rhodes fights back again, bulldog, pin attempt. Haas distracts Rhodes, Shelton with the schoolboy, Rhodes reverses, hangs on for the pinfall.
WINNER: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall.
Rhodes gets attacked by Haas from behind, Shelton makes it a 2-on-1 assault. But here comes Hardcore Holly to make the save! Well, golly gee, Opie, who didn't see this coming? Well, apparently Jerry Lawler didn't see it coming, he's shocked. Holly & Rhodes watch each other's back, eventually Haas & Benjamin back off and go back up the ramp. Rhodes & Holly then turn around and stare each other down, Holly nods his head and walks off. Promo for main event, promo for women's title match, commercial.
D.H. Smith vs. Carlito Colon
We come back from break with Harry Smith, being billed as D.H. Smith, greeting the fans. For those who don't recognize him, or those who have had their heads buried in the sand for the last two years, this is the oldest son of the late "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith. He's dedicating his first match on Raw (but not his first WWE match, he was on WWE Heat last weekend, and has worked dark matches for a year now) in memory of his father. Carlito comes out, says nothing, just gets in and looks ready to wrestle.
They start off trading wristlocks, Carlito kicks Smith in the gut, misses a boot, Smith with a double leg takedown into a pin attempt into a side headlock, Colon shoves him off, leapfrogs smith, Smith stops, hits a hiptoss, goes for a pin. Colon rolls out, sucker punches Smith on the apron, springboard dropkick into the ring, pin attempt. Colon puts Smith in the corner, chop, pulls him out, scoop slam, pin attempt. Carlito with a knee in Smith's back to wear him down. Smith powers out, boot to the midsection, punch to the face, whip off the ropes, Smith ducks down, Colon with a boot to the face, a clothesline, pin attempt. This match is going fast with a lot of good spots.
Colon with a side headlock on Smith in the middle of the ring. Smith puts him in the corner and nails a STIFF pair of European Uppercuts, followed by a pair of standing dropkicks, boot to the midsection, Northern Lights Suplex, two-count. Smith whips Carlito off the ropes, Carlito with the springboard reverse elbow, two-count on the pin attempt. Carlito argues with the ref, goes back after Smith, whips him into the corner, reversal, Carlito tries to leap overs Smith, Smitch catches him and nails the Bulldog Powerslam and picks up the 1-2-3, busting his Raw cherry his first try out!
WINNER: D.H. Smith, by pinfall.
Backstage we have WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix and former champ Candice Michelle face to face with each other. Phoenix tells Michelle that she's going to make Michelle get on her knees and worship her. Michelle tells Phoenix she's taking back her belt. They're both trying to glare at each other and breathe tough. It looks pretty shitty, actually. BUT, up next, Umaga & Coachman are heading to the ring for their match! ZOMGLETSGOTOCOMMERCIAL!!!!!
Back from break, Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler agree that Hornswaggle is about to be killed by Umaga, so they recap last week's events to remember the good times. Oh yeah.
Umaga (w/ Johnathan Coachman) vs. Hornswaggle McMahon
Umaga & Coachman enter the arena first. Hornswaggle enters next, he doesn't look too happy, and utlimately decides he isn't getting into the ring, and he runs up the ramp. Coachman starts to chase him and eventually stops at the ramp.
WINNER: No Contest.
Triple H's music hits instead, and Umaga goes apeshit in the ring. I guess he doesn't like Triple H protecting his new brother-in-law. Triple H gets up on the apron, gets in the ring, and they start brawling. Umaga with an uppercut sends HHH into the corner, but HHH comes otu with a Thesz Press after Umaga shoves the referee out of the way. Three more referees get in to pull them apart, and it turns into your basic pull-apart brawl, each guy taking a turn leaping over all the officials. Did I just hear Lawler say "Here comes Samoa Joe"?? Well, stranger things could have happened, but I don't see how he can confuse Pat Patterson, Gerald Briscoe and Rick Steamboat for Samoa Joe. This rolls out of the ring, onto the floor, over the announcer's table, and the brawl continues all the way up the ramp.
Man. What a total chickfight. They made the new Divas actually look tough! Please, can we go to commercial now? Mkaythxbai! Fuck, we gotta recap this after the commercial too? Bah. Fuck. Wasting my time. I'm trying to get this finished at work and I got less than a half hour to see another hour of show!
UGH! And tell me this ain't happening, we gotta do more Diva Search shit? I really don't know what is worse now. I ain't got time for this shit, moving on!
Speaking of chickfights... Randy Orton gets confronted by Ken Kennedy in the locker room, they stare each other down like they wanna fuck. Orton tells Kennedy that he wants to set the record straight, he only came out to save Kennedy from getting beat up because he needs them for the tag team match tonight. Orton tells Kennedy he knows there is no way Kennedy is going to win, because people don't like him and thus won't vote for him. Orton says that this is the reason they should work together tonight to weaken Hardy and Michaels. Orton does thank Kennedy for helping to soften John Cena up for him. Kennedy says not to worry about the match tonight, but worry about him "making a statement" after the match. Kennedy goes to walk off, Orton pulls him back and warns him not to make an enemy of him. Kennedy says he'll see Orton in the ring. Thank God, commercial.
FUCK NO! Not Santino Marella. What's he gonna do, bitch about The Condemned some more? No, he's actually scheduled for a match this week ... fuck, that's even worse! This show is going downhill FAST!
Santino Marella (w/ Maria Kanellis) vs. Ron Simmons
Marella pulls Maria into the ring, she holds up a copy of the WWE Magazine's 500th issue. He runs down some of the greats who are mentioned, says Steve Austin is 273 times, and even Mantaur gets mentioned on page 23... but no mention of Marella. Suddenly the arena goes dark, and we get another greast SAVE_US.222 promo! Interesting. Marella is confused. Marella asks if Austin is trying to send him a message, and accuses Austin of not having any guts. Marella threatens to "open a can of the ass-whip so big" on Austin if he tries to come to WWE.
DAMN! That brings out, of course, Ron Simmons. Speaking of another chickfight that has been waiting two months for a blowoff. Marella starts by trying to kick Simmons' legs out from under him. Simmons shoves him in a corner, then goes to work with rights, an elbow, and Marella is scrambling on the matt. Marella takes Simmons down and lays in punches and stomps, gets a quick pin attempt. The fans are chanting for Maria. Did you know she's no longer dating C.M. Punk? Did you know that Mickie James and Kenny Dykstra broke up, too? Yeah, I didn't know that either, and I actually took the time to look that up during this match, because this is BORING AS FUCK! Simmons puts Marella in the corner, Marella kicks him in the nuts, and gets DQ for a low-blow. Speaking of things that blow... Marella grabs Maria and high-tails it out of the ring.
WINNER: Ron Simmons, by DQ.
The Grish is backstage with Triple H, he says that if he had his way his match at Cyber Sunday would be a Steel Cage First Blood Street Fight, but tonight he saw fear in Umaga's eyes, this Sunday "it's Time to Play the Game." Oooh. Commercial
WWE Women's Championship: 2-out-of-3 Falls: WWE Women's Champion "the Glamazon" Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle
Lillian Garcia explains the rules, Candice Michelle makes her entrance first, Beth Phoenix enters next and OH MY! Straddle that turnbuckle, baby. *chuckle* Okay, I'll stop being sexist. I deeply respect Beth Phoenix.
Phoenix has a smug look on her face as the bell rings, they lock up, Phoenix powers Michelle into the corner, tries to rip her face off, then finishes with a hard elbow and a forearm. Phoenix puts Michelle in another corner, a forearm shivver, whips her to the opposite corner, Candice leaps out onto the apron, puts Phoenix in a wristlock, nails a huracanrana off teh top turnbuckle, but PHoenix holds on, whips Michelle off the ropes, Michelle goes for a sunset flip, Phoenix picks her up in a chokehold, slams her to the mat, covers to gain the first pin.
We come back from a commercial break, Phoenix is trying to works Michelle over into a Boston Crab submission. We recap Phoenix slamming Michelle into the corner, Michelle later trying to hit a cross-body block and getting caught, and Phoenix even nailing a Boston Crab on Michelle ON THE TURNBUCKLE! Awesomeness.
Michelle eventually kicks out of the Bostom Crab, Phoenix comes back with a hard kick to the sternum. another forearm shiver, another ... Candice Michelle fires back with her own, off the ropes, clothesline, clothesline, dropkick, clothesline, pin atetmpt ... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Phoenix retaliates with a back elbow smash, whip off the ropes, Candice kicks Phoenix, goes for a cradle roll-up for a pin, 2-count. Michelle with a reverse mule kick, pin attempt, Phoenix kicks out.
Candice Michelle goes to the outside, she goes up top for a high-risk maneuver, Phoenix goes to knock her off OH FUCK! Michelle falls face-first onto the mat, she's DOWN! She's glass-eyed, she's definitely suffered a concussion. The referee checks on her, Phoenix grabs Michelle by the hair, drags her to the center of the ring, makes the quick pin, and leaves teh ring as the doctors and referees go to attend to Michelle.
WINNER: Candice Michelle, by pinfall.
Candice Michelle is now sitting up in the ring, taking sips of water, looks like she's going to be okay, she says she's hurt, she holds her right shoulder and lays back down. They're calling for an ambulance to come to the ring. The whole show stops. They do a slow-motion replay and you see that she falls onto her right shoulder and neck. They're strapping her to a backboard now. We go to commercial, come back for a short promo for the line-up for WWE Cyber Sunday.
I just checked the update on WWE.com, the word is that she has a cracked clavicle, and she will be out of action for at least 6-8 weeks. That's tough to watch live on TV, folks, and this unfortunately came at a time when WWE could ill afford to lose more stars to injuries. The staff at AngryMarks.com wish Candice Michelle all the best in her recovery, and we hope she takes it easy and doesn't come back until she's 100% ready. There's some video of Candice backstage, she looks to be in a little better shape than she was in the ring.
Shawn Michaels & WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Kennedy & WWE Champion Randy Orton
Michaels makes his ring entrance first, followed by Hardy. Then Kennedy, and finally Orton. We quit pissing around eventually and we get Michaels vs. Kennedy to start off with a collar-and-elbow tie-up, Kennedy puts Michaels in the corner, clean break? No, Kennedy with a cheap boot tothe midsection and some fists, but Michaels quick reverses it and lays in a dozen knife-edge chops. Kenendywhips Michaels off the ropes, Michaels with a pair of neckbreakers, and a stomp in Kennedy's jaw. Kennedy tries to tag in, Michaels cuts him off, tags into Hardy, Hardy with a double axehandle smash off the middle turnbuckle. Kennedy gets the upper-hand for a second, Hardy with a clothesline, goes up to the middle turnbuckle, his the elbow drop, covers, two-count.
Hardy goes for a splash on Kennedy in the corner, Kennedy moves, Hardy crashes. Kennedy hems up Hardy and tags in Orton, Orton with a straight right into Hardy's head. Orton puts Hardy in the corner and lays in a dozen more rights until the referee has to pull Orton off. Orton pulls up Hardy by the hair, but Hardy fires with a right, a kick, a right, whips Orton into the corner, Orton reverses, Hardy leaps over but Orton with a big clothesline, a full-body cover, two-count. Orton tags in Kennedy and they double-team Hardy for a moment. Kennedy with some stomps, a few elbow drops, cover. Hardy stands up, Kennedy wails away, whips Hardy off the ropes, Hardy holds on, kicks Kennedy, leaps for the hot tag to Michaels.
Michaels with a pair of rights, and an Inverted Atomic Drop followed by a scoop slam. Michaels goes up top, Michaels nails him and Orton falls off the apron. Kennedy nails Michaels from behind, tags into Orton, holds him up and Orton with a punch into the ribs. Orton straddles Michaels on the mat and lays in more rights. Orton stalks around Michaels, decides to pull him up by the hair, goes for a right, Michaels fires back with chops, whips Orton, Orton reverses and Michaels goes chest-first into the turnbuckle. Orton tags in Kennedy, who goes for a pinfall. Kennedy wraps up Michaels into a modified abdominal stretch on the mat, in the middle of the ring. Michaels gets an elbow loose and starts trying to use it, eventually leverages his way up, tries to punch his way out, but Kennedy with a backbreaker, holds onto Michaels, hits another backbreaker, goes for a cover, Michaels kicks out!
Kennedy picks up Michaels on his shoulders, Michaels wiggles out, Kennedy takes him down with an elbow, pin attempt, tag to Orton, Orton lays in a Garvin Stomp on Michaels' prone body, then plays to the crowd. Michaels leaps up, shoves Orton into a corner, but that allows Kennedy to tag in and take on Michaels from behind. Kennedy straddles Michaels and pummels him, Michaels fights back, kennedy begs off for a second, then goes for a pin, then tags Orton back in. Orton with a punch to the solarplexus on Michaels, then wraps up Michaels into a bodyscissors and reverse chinlock int he middle of the ring. Michaels scrambles out, Orton goes into a side headlock, Michaels gets out and they're slugging and chopping each other. Orton with a drop toe hold, Michaels holding on, turns over and nails the enziguri, both men are down!
Hardy is rallying Michaels, Orton tags Kennedy, Michaels tags Hardy, Hardy cleans house on Kennedy, Thes Press on Kennedy, punches, reverse mule kick on Kennedy, dropkick into the corner, Hardy goes for the pin, 1.. 2.. Orton breaks the pin! Michaels gets in to take care of Orton, punches him out of the ring, Michaels with the splash over the top rope onto Orton!
Kennedy throws Hardy into the corner, Hardy with the Whisper O' The Wind! Hardy goes up top again, Kennedy cuts him off, goes up for a Superplex, Hardy shoves him off, SWANTON BOMB! The pin ... 1... 2... 3!~
WINNERS: Jeff Hardy & Shawn Michaels, by pinfall.
Randy Orton slides back into the ring behind Hardy, turns him around, he goes for the RKO ... HBK WITH SWEET CHIN MUSIC FROM BEHIND! Michaels pulls the trigger JUST. LIKE. THAT. Orton once again is face-down on the mat, that glass jaw of his appearntly his one true weakness. We replay the highlights, Michaels gets down in Orton's face and talks smack, Jeff Hardy stands off and watches as we fade to black for the evening.
Well, the show started off decent enough, it went downhill, it took a nasty turn, but the main event seemed to have picked it all back up. Overall a "thumbs in the middle" sort of show, we'll see how ECW fares tonight, the main event being Kane vs. Big Daddy V. Stevie J will recap ECW tonight, but as for me, boys and girls, it's time for this saddle-sore office worker to pack up his laptop and hit the trail home for a few hours of sleep. Take care, kids!