12/18/07: ECW on Sci-Fi Live Recap

Hit F5 or refresh as often as you like because the recap is live! Coverage starts in just a few minutes.

I don't mean to offend you if you believe in the supernatural, but these "Ghost Adventure" stories they run before ECW are SOOOO hokey. Even ECW's Boogeyman seems more believable. These days we only seem to see Boogey in the opening video of ECW though, which starts right away with no preamble tonight. "Don't question my hearrrrt!" We're live on Sci-Fi in Rochester, New York. Tonight it's an interpromotional main event featuring ECW Champion CM Punk v. United States Champion MVP. Speaking of champions, here comes John Morrison!

* Morrison & Miz {C} v. MOORE WANG! (Non-Title)

Joey Styles notes that despite the colossal egos of both John Morrison and The Miz they actually function quite effectly not just as a team but as WWE Tag Team Champions. Apparently Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang get a rematch because of how close they came to upsetting the champions last week. Somehow that same logic doesn't seem to apply to Chris Jericho ALMOST beating Randy Orton, but in WWE it is what it is. Miz tags out after only a minute and Morrison comes in to lock up with Moore. European uppercut knocks Moore down but Moore fights out and knocks Miz off his feet with a punch in the heel corner. Morrison tries his whacky breakdancing legdrop but Moore fights back with armdrags and tags in Yang, who happily screams "YEEHAW!" The live crowd seems nonplussed.

Yang works over John Morrison as best he can but the larger Morrison is raining down punishment. Yang battles back as best he can with a whacky lucha style tilt-a-whirl on Morrison and tags in Moore, who quickly goes for a cover on Morrison for 2. Miz comes in and gets caught with a deep arm drag, and Moore tags out to Yang to cut off the ring. Yang hits a dropkick but gets barely a one count on the cover. Yang posts Miz in the corner, avoids the reversal to the opposite corner, hits a scoop slam on Miz and knocks Morrison to the floor. Miz gets tossed out for good measure and MOORE WANG go for a double baseball slide to the outside which backfires with both Morrison and Miz catch them and throw them hard to the mats. They get back in the ring and pose and get the first good heat from the crowd of this match as we go to commercial.

Miz & Morrison stayed in control during the break. Yang is trying to hop across the ring for a hot tag but Morrison has a leg. Yang finally kicks him off and leaps out for the tag. Moore hits a neckbreaker as Tazz says he's "cooking on all cylinders" and then goes up to the top rope. Morrison tries to catch up, Moore throws him off, but Miz shoves him off from behind and tags in to give him a big scoop slam. High knee and a punch to the face before snapping his neck into the ropes and covering for 2. Miz clamps on a neck vice and we get a rest spot as Styles says "the pendulum of moment has swung the other way" and Tazz mocks him for swinging things around. Miz hits a dropkick and pulls Moore over to the heel corner for a tag before catapulting him into a big punch. Morrison covers for two. Moore kicks out only to endure a barrage of forearms and elbows from the former Johnny Nitro. Nitro puts him in a sleeper as Yang claps on the apron and the crowd wakes up and gets involved. Moore finally dropkicks the knee of Morrison when he goes top rope, both men crawl to their corners for a tag, and Yang gets his last but charges in fast. Leg sweep on Miz and a series of kicks before leaping over the top rope to splash him with a big "YEE-HAW!" Moore and Morrison get into it too and Moore wipes him out on the floor with a backflip off the ropes.

Yang throws Miz back in and goes for a flying crossbody but Miz rolls through and covers him for a near fall. Miz and Yang exchange waistlocks before disaster strikes the champs - Miz charges to the ropes on the standing switch but Yang ducks and Miz eats the roundhouse kick from Morrison. Yang hits the moonsault out of the corner, covers Miz, and gets the three count!!! WINNERS: MOORE WANG!! Unfortunately it's non-title but the crowd does at least seem pleased that the cocky heels got what was coming to them, and if they're willing to do this match two weeks in a row maybe they'll do it three! The highlights on replay look good enough to make me want to see it again, unlike the Armageddon replay of Big Daddy V giving CM Punk a Samoan slam. Ugh. Styles questions if he'll be in any condition to fight MVP tonight as we get a "Tribute to the Troops" promo and a commercial break.

When we come back Tazz is in the ring with Shelton Benjamin and some kid named Colin Delaney or something, who has a pair of trunks and boots but claims this is his "first match" ever and acts incredibly nervous.

* Gold Standard Challenge: Shelton Benjamin v. Colin Delaney

Benjamin immediately nails him with a t-bone suplex and puts the boots to him as Styles feigns suprise Delaney didn't come OUT of his boots. Benjamin pounds on his back mercielessly, tucks the head between his legs and gives him a running powerbomb into the turnbuckle. Benjamin pulls him up by his hair, talks some smack to him, then hits the leaping inverted bulldog for three. HOORAY FOR SQUASH MATCHES! WINNER: Shelton Benjamin. Feed him a jobber every week for a few months and I'm happy with watching the Gold Standard kill men. Post-match promo is short but to the point: "AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NOWWWWWWWWWW!"

We go to commercial and come back to Kofi Kingston beating up a petty thief on the beach in Jamaica and returning the items to "Lost & Found" as he says it's just another day... in paradise! How nice! And now it's time for another match.

* Kenny Dykstra (with Victoria) v. Nunzio (in a Santa's Elf outfit)

Dykstra does not look amused but Nunzio's outfit is a good excuse for Styles & Tazz to plug next week's "Tribute to the Troops" show on Christmas Eve. The bell rings and Nunzio makes Dykstra stop to offer him a candy cane, and Dykstra offers him a clothesline and a few boots in response. Dykstra hooks him for a delayed vertical suplex and a two count. He dumps out Nunzio's bag of Christmas candy, Nunzio tries to make a comeback, but he eats a boot to the gut followed up by a Randy Orton style chinlock (accompanied by the Randy Orton style lack of reaction to it). Victoria screams at the ref to ask him if he's done but Nunzio makes a comeback... only to get a high back bodydrop into a pile of candy canes. Tazz admonishes Mike Posey to get the canes out of the ring - if Mike Posey is even his real name. Styles questions WHY anybody would make up a name like Mike Posey. Dykstra gives Nunzio a flapjack from the top and goes up top himself for a sky high legdrop which brings these procedings to a merciful end. WINNER: KENNY DYKSTRA a.k.a. THE GRINCH. Video package afterwards puts over MVP and we get another plug for tonight's main event going into the commercial break.

Raw Rebound. Get in your piss break now. When you come back here are the highlights - Flair beat Umaga via countout in a "win or retire" match and Jeff Hardy pinned Randy Orton in a main event tag match. Somewhere in there Triple H made fun of Vince McMahon and Vince got even by telling Triple H he had to wrestle Flair on New Year's Eve in another "win or retire" match.

MVP: "Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Montell Vontavious Porter! In a few minutes I will face CM Punk in a champion versus champion match. Punk you will get an opportunity to find out why I am Smackdown's highest paid entertainer, half-man half-amazing, and why I am better than you." This promo brings Punk out to the entrance ramp with the belt around his waist, smiling and laughing. The bell rings and Tony Chimel informs us the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall!

* CM Punk {C} v. MVP {C} (Champion v. Champion - Non-Title)

Commercial break. When we come back MVP is in control but Punk gets a drop toe hold and a floatover. MVP starts pushing him towards the corner then pulls him down and goes for side control with an arm, then goes for a few more quick near falls. Punk gets back to his knees and gets a single leg takedown before dropping an elbow. Snapmare and a leg vice by Punk but MVP fights out to a side headlock. Tazz notes they are "going hold for hold, as the expression goes." Indeed Punk spun to the side and floated over into a headlock of his own, but MVP reversed him back down to the mat. Punk stands up again but MVP snaps him down so Punk wraps a classic MMA leg triangle around his throat. MVP sells and sells, fights out, but then gets a snapmare and dropkick to the back of his head for his trouble and another kick for a quick one count.

MVP drops the MMA style in favor of the street style and starts thuggin' and buggin' on CM Punk, laying him out with a kick to the face and beating him down with punches and hard elbows off the ropes. The crowd is as they have been all night largely dead for this match, especially considering this is the spot where most WWE audiences would start clapping Punk back into the match hoping for a comeback. Punk makes the attempt anyway by getting to a knee and punching MV in the gut but MVP gives him five or six high knees to the face and several crossfaces to boot before covering him for two. MVP slaps Punk around so Punk gives him a big slap in return and throws him into the ropes. MVP hooks the ropes to avoid a dropkick on the rebound then comes over to kick Punk in the mush and cover him for two. MVP stretches out Punk with his left arm pinned behind his back, the ref checks for a submission, Punk says NO.

Punk fights out again but MVP gives him a facebreaker and makes two near falls as Tazz notes that on each near fall MVP is wearing down Punk just a little bit more. MVP hits a discus forearm to the face and then sits down on Punk's back for a modified camel clutch with his fingers cinched up tight. Again complete lack of crowd reaction to Punk getting to his knees to fight out. If these people in Rochester are this bored, maybe they should have just gone home before the ECW live show instead of sitting there on their hands! MVP picks up Punk for a vertical suplex but he fights it off twice with kicks and then hits MVP with a running knee for two. Step up running knee to the corner and a bulldog in the middle of the ring and NOW the crowd is finally coming alive. Springboard clothesline connects! Two count. MVP bulls him into the corner and gives him a low german bridge for a near fall. Punk hits the step up enzuguiri and crawls to the corner. He leaps to the top rope but MVP knocks him off and he falls into a tree of woe. The ref warns him to stop but MVP keeps putting the boots to him. Finally MVP beats on him so long he gets disqualified at 5. Yes, seriously. WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: CM PUNK. Le sigh. They've gone back to making the "champion" look like a chode every week again and I'm not a fan of it. MVP gives him a running knee and walks off to a chorus of boos. I'm not even criticizing MVP here because I'm a fan of his heel work on Friday Night Smackdown and at PPV's but... wait a minute Chavo Guerrero is here!

Chavo is beating the hell out of the prone CM Punk, hitting one suplex after another until he gets a methodical and deliberate 3 Amigos. He goes up to the top rope signals to the heavens and hits the Eddie Guerrero style frogsplash. Styles wants to know why Chavo targetted him and so do I, especially given that the already dead crowd actually had NEGATIVE heat for this post-match beatdown. That goes back to the point I was trying to make when Chavo showed up and I'm going to wrap it on this note - the only things people in this crowd cared about all night long on an absolutely miserable edition of ECW were the win by MOORE WANG and the big comeback by CM Punk. If they wanted Chavo Guerrero to get some heat they should have had him run in on the match and join MVP for a 2-on-1 beatdown - Punk still would have gotten the DQ win anyway. Instead MVP gets disqualified FOR KICKING TOO MUCH ASS and as so often happens in these cases (think Rey Mysterio, he was booked the exact same way when he held the big gold belt) the champion looks like a chump. They used to do this to Rey all the time, having him get killed every week on ECW, yet somehow he'd miraculously retain. By the time he lost the World Title it came as something of a relief.

I thought they had gotten over that Mysterio title reign habit and decided to make CM Punk look solid with a win each week, but they're not only killing him on TV now they're killing a crowd whose only desire in this world is to see Punk hit the G2S that couldn't give a fuck less about anything else. Even worse the Chavo beating is completely illogical considering that if ANYBODY should have had a reason to give Punk a beatdown after Armageddon it would be Big Daddy V, who pinned him clean and now has another good argument for a title shot. Perhaps even WWE feels his fatness is too gross for television now as we didn't see him on the show all night long, but if you're looking for logic (and unlike TNA, the booking of WWE usually has some) this was an EPIC FAIL all the way around. What a horrible final live ECW to end the year (next week's show is a "Best Of" edition), what UTTER FUCKING BULLSHIT. Seasons beatings to all and to all a shitty ECW!