UFC 80: Rapid Fire Complete Results

Thanks to Sherdog.com for their help with some of these results.

Per Eklund vs. Sam Stout
The crowd in England was by all accounts largely disappointed with this fight, which Stout controlled for most of the 15 minutes by avoiding takedowns and landing strikes without ever seeming to do enough damage to finish. After time expired two judges see it 30-27 for Stout and one sees it 29-27 for Eklund. WINNER BY SPLIT DECISION: SAM STOUT.

James Lee vs. Alessio Sakara
Lee scores a takedown right at the start of the round but Sakara quickly recovers. Lee gets another takedown but doesn't secure it, and Sakara suddenly unloads with right hands which stun Lee and force referee Dan Miragliotta to stop the right. WINNER BY TKO AT 1:30 OF R1: ALESSIO SAKARA.

Paul Kelly vs. Paul Taylor
This all England affair (or as we called it on AngryMarks.com "The Battle For Which Paul Takes All") went the full three rounds. Taylor tried to get a guillotine from guard in R1 but was unsuccessful, and Kelly ended up taking the top and controlling the round with ground 'n pound. R2 was very close since Kelly controlled position but Taylor was very active on the bottom with punches, elbows, and kimura attempts. Still it could be argued it was Kelly's fight to win or lose in the third round, and Kelly managed to ride it out and not make any major mistakes. WINNER BY UNANIMOUS 30-27 DECISION: PAUL KELLY.

Antoni Hardonk vs. Colin Robinson
This final dark match fight was almost over before it had even begun. Hardonk devestated Robinson with hard knees, leg kicks, and two big jabs and Robinson was completely unable to respond - the last jab before the fight was stopped knocked Robinson silly. WINNER BY TKO AT 0:17 OF R1: ANTONI HARDONK.

Jorge Rivera vs. Kendall Grove
In our first bout of the live card Grove scored with a left hook early but Rivera shot in for a takedown into the cage. Rivera hit hard in half-guard, Grove gave up his back to avoid more punishment, but Rivera UNLOADED on him with rights and lefts and finally the ref had to step in when Grove could not put up an active defense. WINNER BY TKO AT 1:20 OF R1: JORGE RIVERA.

Wilson Gouveia vs. Jason Lambert
No big news so far. Gouveia and Lambert circled early, Lambert got a single-leg takedown, Gouveia went for the guillotine but Lambert escaped and pushed Gouveia up against the cage. Lambert lands heavy left hands in Gouveia's guard but Gouveia goes for another guillotine forcing Lambert to defend. Gouveia tried to sink in a triangle choke but Lambert stood up with Gouveia hanging on and slammed him hard to the ground. Gouveia transitioned to an omaplata but Lambert escaped yet again and the round ends with Lambert landing strikes. Most likely 10-9 for Lambert but depending on the judges some may favor Gouveia for making attempts - I favor Lambert for defending them all successfully.

In round two Lambert stalked Gouveia against the cage and during a flurry of strikes Gouveia landed a left hook that knocked Lambert out cold. Gouveia pounced onto Lambert for follow-up shots but referee Herb Dean stopped the fight. WINNER BY KNOCKOUT AT 0:37 OF R2: WILSON GOUVEIA.

Marcus 'Irish Hand Grenade' Davis vs. Jess Liaudin
Liaudin immediately attacked Davis' right leg with low kicks in the first minute but Davis stepped in and rocked Liaudin with a left hook that knocked him silly and three follow-up rights later referee Mario Yamasaki called the fight. WINNER BY KO AT 1:04 OF R1: MARCUS 'IRISH HAND GRENADE' DAVIS.

They're obviously having to slow things down a great deal at this point since we're only one fight away from the main event an hour after this show went live. Unless the BJ Penn v. Joe 'Daddy' Stevenson title fight goes a full five rounds you can expect at least one bonus fight if not two from the dark matches. It's now 20 minutes after three locally and still nothing to report on the co-main event. You could have taken a piss break, warmed up the oven, made a pizza and eaten a couple of slices in the time they are wasting before this fight. Fans at the Metroradio Arena are probably doing much the same, although they don't have to warm up the oven and might be eating a good curry instead.

Chtulhu fuck, it's been 30 minutes now. I should have popped in my UFC 75 DVD and watched a few of the dark matches to kill some time, or at least played the Awesome Kong v. Gail Kim title match again since it's already in my DVD-R. I understand killing some time to fill out your three hour PPV block but seriously, I'd like to report on some live action here and you're giving us NONE. I mean sure they threw in the "Paul vs. Paul" match from the undercard but since I already knew what happened who the hell cares. I'm actually watching Smackdown on my DVR now waiting for the all-Brazil superfight. I prefer my dark matches at the end of a UFC, not in the middle.

Gabriel 'Napão' Gonzaga vs. Fabricio Werdum
Finally some live action! Werdum landed a big right but was tripped to the ground by Gonzaga. From half-guard Gonzaga struck Werdum's face with lefts and elbows. Werdum tried to get full guard but Gonzaga stands up to deliver a low kicks including one that sent Werdum to the mat but Werdum recovers in and upturns Gonzaga. From the mount Werdum lands an elbow and a few punches, counting to land them as Gonzaga looks for a kneebar with time expiring. Toss up round you could easily score either way.

In round two Werdum landed a right uppercut and a left hand before shooting in for a takedown and being stuffed by Gonzaga. Gonzaga stood over Werdum until the ref stood him up. Gonzaga attacks Werdum's legs with low kicks. Werdum responds with two big knees to the face of Gonzaga and a right hand. Werdum has Gonzaga leaning against the fence taking knees and punches until Gonzaga slumps to the canvas. Werdum leaps in with a flurry of elbows and punches until Miragliotta stops the fight. WINNER AT 4:34 OF R2 BY TKO: FABRICIO WERDUM. VER-DOOOOM has now bested Gonzaga both times they've fought, and oh how the mighty have fallen since beating Mirko Cro Cop!

'The Prodigy' BJ Penn vs. Joe 'Daddy' Stevenson (UFC Lightweight Championship)
As you're no doubt aware Sean Sherk was stripped of his UFC Lightweight Title after testing positive for steroids and losing his appeal to the California State Athletic Commission, which turned this match from "interim" a la Georges St. Pierre vs. Matt Hughes to the real deal. For 'The Prodigy' this is his chance to once again prove the hype is real, and that he can move from beating Jens Pulver to winning championship gold. For Joe Daddy this is his chance to prove another former Ultimate Fighter winner has graduated successfully to UFC main events. Even if he loses a hard fought five round decision he will solidify his rep and prove himself to be more than just another "TUF Kid."

And we're underway! Penn immediately knocks Stevenson to the mat with an uppercut, jumps on top and lands a big elbow from half guard. Penn pushes Stevenson into the cage fence and takes mount. Stevenson defends well. Penn stands up to blast Stevenson with a big right before taking side control. Stevenson landed lefts and rights from the bottom position but a right elbow from Penn cuts Stevenson open. He's bleeding badly from the forehead as the round ends, clearly 10-9 for Penn.

Stevenson clearly feels he's already behind the 8-ball at the start of R2 as he comes out with a flurry aimed at Penn. Penn shows good standup skills evading the punches and reponds with a stiff jab. Herb Dean calls for time to have Stevenson's cut checked but the action is quickly resumed. Penn is rocking Joe Daddy with his punches and a left hand sends Stevenson to the ground where Penn takes the mount. Here we go, this could be it! Stevenson gives up his back to avoid more punishment. Penn seizes the opportunity to lock in the rear naked choke. Stevenson taps! IT IS ALL OVER~!~!!! Penn taps him out! YOUR WINNER AND NEW UFC LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION VIA REAR NAKED CHOKE AT 4:02 OF ROUND TWO: BJ PENN! Congratulations to Penn for adding yet another title belt to his already impressive resume and proving once again why 'The Prodigy' is for real. Penn is now only the second man in UFC history to win championship belts in two different weight classes.

Incidentally the bonus fights after the main event were Colin Robinson v. Antoni Hardonk and Alessio Sakara v. James Lee, meaning all but one fight - Per Eklund v. Sam Stout - were shown this evening. How bad does it have to suck to be those two men! They deserve a PPV bonus for NOT being seen since everybody else got on TV.