| Date: 06/09 | 8:00 PM |
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Killa Kev Presents WWE Raw: The Recap
Tonight on WWE Raw, from Oakland CA tonight, we'll see WWE Champion Triple H take on Jeff Hardy, and John Cena will collide with JBL. But FIRST, we have Mr. McMahon appearing on stage to introduce us to tonight's episode of Million Dollar Mania. Mr. McMahon says that he's nervous, and asks the fans to stand up and cheer as he introduces the $1 Million. Uniformed guards come out with the clear briefcase of cash, and begin stacking it into the podium. Mr. McMahon explains that those who have already registered on WWE.com, and those who have not registered have until 10:45pm ET tonight to register.
TONIGHT'S PASSWORD IS... WWE UNIVERSE. If Mr. McMahon calls you tonight and you have this phrase, you win some cash! Mr. McMahon announced that he is going to give away $200,000 after the first match.
Ken Kennedy vs. Paul Birchill (w/ Katie Lea Burchill)
Kennedy makes his way out first, quick walk to the ring, no self-introduction. Burchill enters, gets in teh ring, we get a bell and an quick lcok-up, Kennedy puts Burchill in the corner and yells, "COME ON!" They clok up again, Burchill puts Kennedy on the ropes, referee break, Burchill charges, Kennedy dumps him over the top rope. Burchill back in the ring, Kennedy with a drop toehild, pin attempt. Kennedy stands Burchill up and puts him in a side headlock. Burchill breaks it with a belly-to-back suplex near the corner. Burchill pulls him out, covers, hooks the leg for a pin attempt. Burchill mounts Kennedy and beats on him, ref break. Burchill puts Kennedy in the corner, catches him out of it with a clothesline, cover, two-count. Burchill drags Kennedy back to the middle of the ring, locks in a side headlock. Kennedy works his way to his feet, punches his way out, but Burchiill with a knee to the midsection and a clothesline to take him down.
Burchill stands Kennedy up and clotheslines him again, Stands him up again, tries for another short clothesline, Kennedy with a roundhouse kick that misses, but the enziguri fillowup connects. then hits Burchill with the Yakuza kick, cover, two-count. Kennedy tries for the Mic Check, Burchill blocks it. Kennedy goes to whip Burchill off the ropes, ducks, Burchill with a boot to the midsection. Burchill whips Kennedy into the ropes, Kennedy blocks it, counters with the Mic Check and a quick pin.
WINNER: Ken Kennedy, by pinfall. We recap the highlights, back in the ring Katie Lea is in Kennedy's face and slaps him. Kennedy stares her down, Paul Burchill nails Kennedy from behind with the Twisted Sister (reverse neckbreaker). Fans start a "You Suck!" chant for the Burchills.
Mr. McMahon announces it's time to give away the $200,000 in cash, and starts to dial, but misdials it, has to hang up and try again. OMFG! THE WWE RAW NATION JUST GOT RICKROLLED, the call went to somebody's voicemail. We try another number, we got somebody on the line, Daniel from Hollywood Palms, CA answers the phone. He provides the correct password, DANIEL YOU JUST WON $200,000! MONEY MONEY MONEY! We take a break, come back and see members of the Oakland Raiders in the crowd.
WWE Women's Champion Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix
Mickie James bounces out to the ring, brief poses, followed by a brief introduction for the former champion Beth Phoenix. James with a slightly worried look on her face as she puts a waistlock on Phoenix, Phoenix elbows her off, picks her up, James with a series of forearm shots, Phoenix shoves her off, tries for a clothesline, James ducks it, bounces off the ropes, Phoenix catches her with a tilt-a-whirl slam, cover, one-count. Phoenix kicks James in the ribs, stomps her on the back, picks her up in a front facelock, sets up and nails a slingshot suplex off the ropes! Phoenix covers, two-count.
Phoenix pulls up James by the hair, James with a few elbows, PHoenix picks her up, hits a backbreaker on the knee, picks her up again, James with a headscissor takeover. Both women are up, trade shots, james gets the upper-hand, bounces off the ropes and nails a big forearm, Phoenix stands her ground. James tries it again, Phoenix ducks it, catches James off the rope with a tilt-a-whilr, but James wiggles out, bounces off the ropes again and nails a dropkick, covers, two-count. Phoenix up quickly and throws James out of the ring, then gets in an argument with the ref. James quickly gets back in the ring, climbs to the top turnbuckle, flies! James hits the Thesz Press, hooks the legs and gets the pin.
WINNER: Mickie James, by pinfall. Phoenix is quickly up and takes James out from behind with a cheap forearm shot. Melina Perez quickly runs in and attacks Phoenix, nailing her with kicks and punches. Phoenix tries to pick up Perez on her shoulders, Perez fights it, they wind up in the corner, Perez gains footing on the top turnbuckle, grabs a handful of Phoenix's hair and slams her head to the mat with a faceplant. Perez stands up and celebrates as we go to the stage for Mr. McMahon for the next Million Dollar Mania giveaway. Mr. McMahon makes another call, a guy named Justin answers, no hometown. He provides the correct password, and he wins $75,000! Mr. McMahon congratulates him, and says that in the next segment he'll have a surprise guest. Commercial time.
We come back from break, and we have Triple H and John Cena standing nose-to-nose in the locker room, arguing about who is the best. Cena asks Triple H to question whether he will be the champ after the PPV. Triple H says that they'll only find out if Cena even makes it, he's got JBL tonight. Cena says he'll make it, and wishes Triple H the best of luck against Jeff Hardy.
Back out on stage, Mr. McMahon introduces Charle Haas, all dresed up to wrestle, no opponent. Mr. McMahon dials his next number, nothing happens. Mr. McMahon blames Haas for bad luck. Mr. McMahon tries to dial again, asks Haas if that's his home number, and reminds him that he isn't eligible. The phone still doesn't ring, the fans start booing. Mr. McMahon tries aagin, THE LINE IS BUSY! Before we try again, "Gabe" from ePrize,com, the company helping to run the promotion, comes out with a new number to call. Mr. McMahon dials it, Donna answers the phone, Mr. McMahon asks if she's watching Raw, she says she is, she gives the correct password, DONNA YOU JUST WON $50,000! Mr. McMahon then turns to Haas and says that he'll make a better deal, if Charlie Haas can kiss a WWE Diva, Donna will get $100,000! Mr. McMahon then introduces Maria Kanellis, and Haas shoves his tongue down her throat! Mr. McMahon breaks them up, and tells Haas that if he can kiss ANOTHER diva, he'll increase the prize by another $20,000! Haas with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face, accept, and out comes MAE YOUNG! She grabs Haas by the trunks and shoves HER tongue down Haas' throat, jumps on his back and won't let up! Ron Simmons comes out and proclaims "DAMN!"
We cut away to JBL backstage, he says that none of the fans deserves Mr. McMahon's money, but John Cena deserves everything JBL is going to dish out, that match is next after this break.
John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Okay, for fuck's sakes, how many more times are we going to have these two fight? what are we proving here? Triple H comes out for guest commentary. JBL comes out first, followed by Cena. Triple H says that Cena won't take the title away from him, and then he stands up and holds the title up for Cena to see, allowing JBL to attack Cena from behind to start the match.
JBL headbutts Cena in the corner, whips him off the ropes and hits a clothesline, followed by a forearm shot to the back, a club to the back, Cena goes to the corner. JBL comes over and lays in some rights, whips Cena out to the opposite corner, reversal by Cena, catches JBL out of the corner with a bulldog, cover, one-count. Cena whips JBL off the ropes, ducks, JBL catches him on the back with a hammer, followed by a boot to the face, elbow drop, cover, two-count. JBL picks up Cena, executes a swinging neckbreaker, coves, two-count. Fans are chanting for Cena as JBL picks him back up, swings for a short-arm clothesline, Cena pulls him in and goes for the F-U, JBL wiggles out, rolls out of the ring, and comes face-to-face with Triple H. Triple H finishes his sentence and then stands up to face JLB, we go to break.
Back from break, JBL and Cena are brawling on the floor, JBL lays out Cena with a big boot to the face, throws Cena back in the ring, covers, two-count. JBL picks up Cena and locks in a head vice. Triple H says that the thing with Cena is that he never settles down, he never stops. Cena works his way up to his feet, struggles to break the hold, finally lays in a few lefts to break it, a few rights to secure it, gets whipped off the ropes by JBL and walks into a sleeper hold in the middle of the ring. Cena slumps, JBL lays him out on the mat, stretching to lock in the sleeper. Cena throws up a hand to signal he's still awake, stands, tries to break it, pulls the arm off his head, turns around and nails JBL in the head, whips him off the ropes, reversal and JBL nails Cena in the face with the boot.
JBL taunts Cena to stand back up, and signals for the Lariat from Hell. He bounces off the ropes, Cena ducks it, nails a pair of shoulders, hits a side slam, and JBL is out cold as Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena tries for the F-U, but JBL wiggles out, poke to the eyes, bounces off the ropes and hits the Lariat from Hell, covers, hooks the leg, but Cena puts the other leg over the rope to stop the attempt. JBL rolls out of the ring, walks backwards towards the announcers table, and pulls the top off of it, starts pulling off monitors. Triple H backs away from the table and comments that JBL appears frustrated. JBL gets back in the ring, Cena is apparently out cold. JBL comes over to pick him up, CENA PLAYING POSSUM! He rolls JBL up into an inside cradle and gets a quick pin!
WINNER: John Cena, by pinfall. Cena celebrates, but stops when Triple H stands on top of the announcer's table and holds up the belt again. Cena leaps out of the ring, gets on the table and stares Triple H down nose-to-nose. Cena tells Triple H they can have the match for the title tonight right here in Oakland, Triple H holds up 3 fingers, signifying that he'll wait three weeks. Triple H steps down off the table, starts to walk off, turns around and grabs Cena's foot, tripping him, Cena falls backwards and cracks his head. Triple H walks off, Cena rolls off the table, holding his head.
Back from the break, we're gonna give away more money, and Mr. McMahon asks Lillian Garcia to stand up. He says he heard a rumor that Lillian was talking to Jim Ross this afternoon and bragging that her body measurements were 38-24-36. Garcia blushes and Mr. McMahon says that the sum of those three numbers is 98, so Mr. McMahon is going to give away $98,000! Mr. McMahon dials a number, Stephanie answers, has the phrase. STEPHANIE YOU JUST WON $98,000!
Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel
The WWE Intercontinental Champion makes his way to the ring as Jim Ross runs down some of Jericho's accomplishments. Jericho says that his guest is a man he admired growing up and has come to respect as a friend an an opponent, Shawn Michaels. Michaels comes out, limping a little, as he bows down and prays before his pyros go off, slaps hands with the fans and makes it down to the ring.
Jericho comments that Michaels looks a little beat up, but congratulates him on surviving the match, and says that he and the fans still love him. Michaels says he appreciates the kind words, but asks Jericho if he has a question to ask. Jericho says he does, but he'll get to it in a minute. Jericho says that Michaels faked the knee injury, lied to himself and Batista. Michaels says that he didn't lie to Batista or the fans, he said he'd do whatever it took to win, technically he only lied to Jericho. Jericho said this was true, and when Michaels superkicked Jericho, he got more cheers than ever, but when Jericho tried to expose the truth, he gets booed. Jericho shows that it takes almost nothing to get the fans to cheer for HBK.
Jericho asks Michaels how he can end up turning into a "lying, cheating, pathetic worm of a human being," then jumps Michaels. They roll on the mat, Michaels stands them up, they go into a corner, Jericho with a kick right to the nuts to take Micahels down. The fans boo, then start chanting "HBK! HBK!" Michaels crawls up to his knees, Jericho shoves him down to the mat by his face, and tells Michaels that this is how he will get treated, and then grabs Michaels by the head, says "The best is yet to come!", then throws michaels head-first through the widescreen monitor in the ring. Michaels holds h is head in agony as the fans boo Jericho. Jericho calmly looks around the ring, then exits. He looks up on the TitanTron and watches as a production crew member checks on Michaels. Michaels only has a small scratch above his nose, I'm sure they were hoping that the gig mark would have busted open wider. We take a break and then recap the Highlight Reel.
WWE World Tag Team Champions Bob Holly & Cody Rhodes vs. Umaga & Gene Snitsky (non-title mach)
At a combined weight of 657 pounds (that should be the amount for the next giveaway!), The Samoan Bulldozer and The Foot Fetish Freak make it to the ring. Quote the King, "This team looks uglier than Hulk Hogan's divorce!", sayeth the Okie, "That's ugly, brotha!" Holly & Rhodes make their entrance next.
Snitsky and Rhodes square off first, Snitsky throws Rhodes in the corner, charges, Rhodes evades, armbar on Snitsky, tags to Holly, and they execute a double-team suplex. Umaga gets in the ring and nails Holly as the referee tries to get Rhodes out of the ring. Snitsky with a punch to the top of Holly's head, cover, two-count. Umga tagged in and he hits Holly in the ribs as Snitsky holds him open. Umaga whops Holly off the ropes, ducks, Holly kicks him in the face, Umaga no-sells it, kicks Holly in the head, cover, two-count. Holly is dragged to the corner by Umaga, Umaga tags out, Snitsky stomps on Holly, picks him up and slam him, elbow drop, another elbow drop. Snitsky bounces off the ropes, goes for a legdrop, Holly rolls out of the way, dropkicks Snitsky in the knee, both men down, referee starts a count.
Cody Rhodes stretches out for a tag. Snitsky tags Umaga, Holly tags in Rhodes, Rhodes ducks Umaga's clotheslines, nails Snitsky with a forearm shot, bounces off the ropes, tries a few clotheslines and a pair of dropkicks on Umaga before the big man goes down. Rhodes bounces off the ropes and tries a cross-body block, Umaga catches him and nails him with a reverse sidewalk slam, signals for the Samoan Spike, delivers, covers, 1-2-3, stick a fork in Rhodes he's done!
WINNERS: Umaga & Gene Snitsky, by pinfall. Rhodes his holding his throat in the middle of the ring, Holly comes over, checks on him and picks him up. The Tag Team champs are now 0-2 in non-title matches. Ted DiBiase, Jr. comes out with a mic, says that since he announced that he was looking for a partner to take on Rhodes & Holly at Night of Champions, they haven't been on the same page. DiBiase warns them that they had better get their act together fast, their time is running out as the champs.
We take a break, come back and Mr. McMahon introduces us to a "sing off" between Jillian Hall and Trevor Murdoch, calling it "WWE's version of American Idol". Murdoch starts off first, gets the fans clapping, and they promptly stop as he sings "Take the Money and Run". Jillian Hall cuts him off and says that the people actually came to listen to her sing, and starts screeching out the lyrics for "Money". Mr. McMahon cuts them both off and calls up another fan, Sarah, and she has the password. Mr. McMahon asks her how much she thinks the experience was worth. Mr. McMahon says it was only worth $2 of his own money, and tells her CONGRATULATIONS, SARAH, YOU HAVE JUST WON TWO DOLLARS! Wow, how sad.
But, wait! Mr. McMahon says that he's gonna call another fan RIGHT NOW, and give away $200,000. Gabe from ePrize.com comes out with another number, Mr. McMahon calls it up. Joshua answers, Mr. McMahon asks for the password, Josh has it. CONGRATULATIONS JOSH, YOU JUST WON $200,000! Josh says "Holy Shit!" (except it gets bleeped out, thank goodness there's a 60-second delay here!" Off to break we go.
Santino Marella & Carlito Colon vs. Cryme Tyme (Shad Gespard & JTG)
Marella & Colon come out, and we recap Marella's loss to Cousin Sal on last week's WWE SmackDown, Kimmel keeps cutting off Cousin Sal's interview by saying that he will wrestle again, starting with the Big Show, who comes in and joes around with Sal, picking him up and putting him on top of Kimmel. Back to the ring the duo are shaking their heads in shame, Cryme Tyme enter next, dance a little.
Marella and JTG start out, Marella with quick rollup for a pin, JTG counters with his own quick rollup for a pin attempt, they trade some ground moves, JTG comes out on top, puts Marella in the corner, tags in Gespard, who is whipped into Marella by JTG, bodyslam on Marella, JTG tagged in, who gets flipped on top of Marella by Gespard, cover, two-count. JTG goes to the top turnbuckle, gets distracted by Colon, leaps, and Marella swats JTG aside, headbutts him in the corner, tags in Colon. Colon stomps JTG down in his corner, ref backs him out, Marella with the cheap shot behind the ref's back. Colon tags in Marella, Marella with the club to the back of JTG, then locks in a reverse chinlock, then transitions to a Camel Clutch. JTG tries to power out, Marella jumps on his back,
Marella stands up JTG, and they both connect with a right punch, going down for a moment. Marella picks up JTG, JTG tries for a kick, Marella catches the boot, JTG rolls through and tags in Gespard who goes to town on Marella, powerlam, cover, two-count as Colon breaks it up. JTG runs in, Colon holds onto the rope, taunts him, Colon charges and JTG pulls down the ropes, both go to the outside. Marella & Gespard trade blows, Gespard with a boot to the midsection, cover and pin.
WINNERS: Cryme Tyme, by pinfall. Cryme Tyme celebrates in the ring, Mr. McMahon calls them out and tells them they're going to help give away some money. Mr. McMahon says that after tonight's main event, he'll give away $250,000 to somebody, but right now they're going to help him give away $51,998 to even it out the amount. Mr. McMahon dials a number, Frank answers the phone, Mr. McMahon asks for the password and gets it. CONGRATULATIONS, FRANK, YOU JUST WON $51,000 AND SOME CHANGE! Mr. McMahon starts to dance with Cryme Tyme as they start shouting "MONEY, MONEY, YEAH YEAH!"
WWE Champion Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy (non-title match)
Jeff Hardy is seen making his way to the ring as we go to break. We come back and John Cena is introduced for guest commentary. Jeff Hardy is introduced next, then finally Triple H. We recap Cena and Triple H's confrontation from earlier when Triple H tripped up Cena on the announcer's table. Cena says that he respects Triple H, but he doesn't fear him. Triple H poses in the corner, then stares down Cena.
Triple H looks back at Cena once last time as the match starts, then we get a lockup, Triple H with a side headlock, Hardy pushes him off the ropes, Triple H with a hard shoulder block to take Hardy down, Triple H walks over and stares down Cena again. Hardy catches Triple H from behind, clubs him, whip off the ropes, reversal, Hardy with a swinging neckbreaker on Triple H, puts him in the corner, nails Triple H, ref break. Hardy whips out Triple H, Trips reverses, charges, Hardy with a reverse elbow and a clothesline, covers, one-count on the champ. Triple H goes to the corner, Hardy follows up, nails some rights, ref break, Hardy approaches again, Triple H with a boot. Hardy staggers, Triple H comes out, Hardy with a kick to the midsection, reverse mulekcik and the dropkick in the corner on Triple H. Hardy covers, two-count.
Triple H gets to his feet, Hardy with a kick to the midsection, tries for the Twist of Fate, Triple H shoves him into the ropes, catches him with a spinebuster that would make Arn Anderson proud, both men are down. Triple H recovers, mounds Hardy and throws down some rights, picks him up, whips him off the ropes, Hardy ducks a clothesline but takes a knee to the face off the ropes. Triple H covers, two-count. Triple H stares over at Cena again, then takes his time with a pair of knees to Hardy's head, cover, two-count. Triple H pulls Hardy up, locks in an abdominal stretch near the ropes. Hardy writhes in pain, Triple H uses the ropes for some leverage until the ref catches it, Triple H throws Hardy aside and says some words to Cena.
Cena picks up Hardy off the mat, headbutts him in the turnbuckle, whips him off to the opposite corner and Hardy hits hard, falls to the mat. Pulls Hardy back up again, whips him into another corner hard, Hardy falls again, Triple H covers, two-and-a-half count. Triple H rests for a moment, looks back over to Cena, pulls Hardy up again, whips him to another corner, charges, Hardy with the knees up to stop it. Hardy out of the corner with a pair of clotheslines that don't take Triple H down, Hardy whips Triple H off the ropes, ducks, Triple H with a facebuster, cover, two-count. Triple H takes his time getting up, looks back over to Cena again, picks Hardy up by the hair, punches Hardy between the eyes, looks back over to Cena, trying to deliver a message. Cena stares back stone cold. Triple H pulls up Hardy, Hardy with a weak right, Triple H with a hard right to take him down. Triple H pulls up Hardy by the hair again, mocks Cena with the hand wave in the face, but Hardy delivers some rights, whips Triple H to a corner, reversal, Hardy tries for the Whsiper o The Wind, but Triple H sidesteps it, Hardy eats the mat.
Triple H rests on the ropes, Hardy pulls himself up on the other side of the ring, Triple H runs over and clotheslines Hardy over the ropes. Referee stops Triple H from chasing him, but Triple H goes around the other side of the ring to get to Hardy. Triple H slams Hardy's head into the top of the ring barrier a few times, whips him toward the barrier, Hardy reverses and Triple H hits the barrier elbow-first. Hardy charges and Triple H catches him, hits a armdrag, and ends up throwing Hardy into Cena. Triple H picks up Hardy and throws him in the ring. Triple H starts to enter the ring, but Cena runs up and pulls Triple H off, the referee's back is turned for that brief second, and finishes counting Triple H out.
WINNER: Jeff Hardy, by countout. Triple H recovers, stands up and stares down Cena. They're nose to nose, and neither one of them see Jeff Hardy bounce off the ropes, float over and nail the both of them with a Swanton Bomb! Hardy gets in the ring and raises his hands, then looks down on them both. We recap the match highlights, and then pan back to both Cena and Triple H down on the mat.
We're running over as we go to commercial, and come back for the last segment of the night, Mr. McMahon is giving away the last $250,000 for the week. Mr. McMahon is introduced once again. He thanks all the fans for showing up in Oakland this week, thanks the fans watching on TV, and thanks USA Network for their participation. He says that next week he's going to give away another $1 Million, and explains the rules of the contest, and he says that we now have to RE REGISTER for next weeks' drawing (I'll have to double-check on that). Mr. McMahon dials the last number of the night. Mr. McMahon jokes about how funny it would be if he called the $2 winner again. Apparently HE didn't read the rules about only calling somebody once time. Phone rings, Steve picks up, he has the phrase that pays, CONGRATULATIONS STEVE YOU WIN $250,000!
Too bad it wasn't our own Stevie J or Nikes the Sneka Pimp that got called. Oh well, there's always next week! Enjoy the preview for The Incredible Hulk, we'll see you tomorrow night for ECW on Sci-Fi, and the podcast later this week, 11pm ET / 10pm CT over on BlogTalk Radio!