| Date: 10/06 | 8:00 PM |
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The WWE Raw Recap - Press F5 For Latest Updates
Nikes the Sneka Pimp is out on top secret training this evening, so Killa Kev is back at the reigns of the WWE Raw Recap. And, I'm late, so I'm getting caught up here!
Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring, and I'm joining him in mid-rant. Apparently WWE Raw GM Mike Adamle was called up to Stamford, CT for an emergency meeting, and he left Jericho in charge of the program tonight. He says Michaels disfigured him, and he shows off part of a broken tooth, and he's sporting a pretty nice bruise on the corner of his mouth. Jericho says that he should have proven by now that he is the undisputed champion, and he's not going to play with Michaels any further. He's going to demand that Michaels face his former protoge Lance Cade in a no disqualification match later this evening.
So with that out of the way, here comes the newly crowned #1 Contender to the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, Mr. Dave Batista. Batista comes out and says, "Pick a number," meaning he wants to know how many days it will be until they face each other for that championship match. Jericho says that after he's done with Batista, "Just like with Michaels, I'll make sure that the name 'Batista' is synonymous with 'failure'" and tells Batista to get out of the ring. Batista tells Jericho that whether he likes it or not, Jericho will have to defend the title. Afterwards, he picks up Jericho and delivers a spinebuster, and finishes his thoughts with, "You mess with the bull, you get the horns!" Batista throws down the mic and leaves.
Later tonight, Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio will take on Mark Henry and Kane in a Raw-ECW collaboration match. We go back and see Jericho scraping himself up from the mat, holding his head. After the break, Jericho announces that Mike Adamle put him in charge of the night, and while he cannot take away Batista's #1 Contender slot, but he can make him defend it again, and he'll do it later tonight against John "Bradshaw" Layfield, and Jericho himself will be the special referee.
Mickie James & Jamie Noble vs. WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix & WWE Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella
William Regal and Layla El are at ringside watching. After everybody gets in the ring, Marella gets on the mic and says that he's been criticized for being too Italian and not American enough. To try to persuade the fans in Seattle, he says that he's picked a new NBA team to be a fan of -- the Oklahoma City Thunder. For those who don't get it, the Thunder were previously the Seattle Supersonics, who pulled out of the city for a new home this year.
We start off with Phoenix putting a reverse waistlock on James, James tries to elbow out, Phoenix shuts her dow, but when Phienix tries for a belly-to-back suplex, James flips out of it and pummels Phoenix with a Thesz Press, Marella reaches in and tags himself in, forcing James to tag out.
Noble and Marella get in, and Noble goes to town on Marella, tries to finish off Marella with an armar, but Phoenix runs in to break it up, James comes in to chase her off. Noble gets a near-fall on Marella. Marella recovers, puts Noble in his corner, Noble puts up a boot to stop a charge. Marella staggers back and picks a fight with Mickie James, drawing the referee's attention. Noble tries to leave, but Phoenix pulls his tights to keep him in place. Noble gets in Phoenix's face, allowing Marella to sneak up behind Noble and roll him up for a quick pinfall.
WINNER: Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella. Noble isn't done here, as Phoenix & Marella celebrate outside the ring, Noble rushes Marella and starts to beat on him more. Marella escapes through the crowd. William Regal comes over and tries to attack Noble, but Noble backdrops him over the barrier as well. Regal recovers and they brawl in front of the announcer's table, Noble gets the better of it, Mickie James has to pull him back.
We go backstage with Todd Grisham and Shawn Michaels. Michaels goes on a rant about being battered and bruised, but he's got enough gas in the tank to keep going for tonight's match.
Kofi Kingston vs. Ted DiBiase, Jr (w/ Cody Rhodes & Manu)
Kingston is introduced first, the WWE World Tag Team Champions Priceless come out, but only DiBiase will be competing. Just when it looks like it might be a three-on-one odds, out come CM Punk to help even things up. We get a lockup, DiBiase with a shoulder block at first, but Kingston takes control with his "controlled frenzy" moveset. He tries to leapfrong onto DiBiase in the corner, but DiBiase moves out of the way and stomps Kingston into the ground. DiBiase takes to the turnbuckle and delivers a Mushroom Stomp into Kingston's chest, followed by a pin attempt.
DiBiase wraps his legs around Kingston's waist and locks on, Kingston is able to elbow out. DiBiase tries for a side headlock, Kingston elbows out again. DiBiase tries for a suplex, Kingston rolls out and delivers a series of chops and dropkicks, followed by a flying forearm smash that sends DiBiase into the corner. Kingston charges, DiBiase sidesteps it, Kingston eats the buckle, but recovers in time to kick DiBiase in the face, he goes up top and delivers a cross-body block.
Manu gets on the apron to distract, Kingston knocks him off with an elbow. Kingston goes for the high legdrop on DiBiase, and Rhodes gets on the apron. Rhodes jumps off as Kingston comes over, CM Punk takes Rhodes out with a clothesline. But all of this allowed DiBiase to recover, slip behind Kingston and lock in the Million Dollar Dream, then takes him out with the side Russian legsweep.
WINNER: Ted DiBiase, Jr. Run the highlights, go into a commercial break. Tomorrow night on ECW, CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne & Ricky Ortiz against Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase Jr, John Morrison & Mike "the Miz" Mizain. Woot.
Backstage Chris Jericho is in the office with Randy Orton, and tells Orton he's got a job for him to do tonight. We then go into a segment about John Cena's neck injury and his road to recovery sofar. We then flip backstage as Mark Henry, Kane & Tony Atlas are walking to the ring. Dolph Ziggler tries to introduce himself, but is brushed off.
ECW Champion Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry & Kane (w/ Tony Atlas)
So apparently Rey Mysterio is okay after appearing to be hurt at last ight's PPV. We start out with Mysterio trying to attack Kane right as the bell rings, Kane outpowers him, but Mysterio fires back with the quick moves, tags in Matt Hardy and they double-team Kane in the corner. Hardy with a side headlock on Kane, Kane powers out and nails Hardy in the head with a solid punch. kane throws Hardy in his corner, tags in Henry, who takes Hardy down with a clothesline, whips him into a corner, charges, Hardy moves out Henry eats the buckle. Mysterio tags in, they double-team on Henry, Mysterio tries for a hurracanrana on Henry (?!?!??!!), Henry catches him and goes for a powerbomb, but Hardy clips Henry's left leg, Henry crumples, allowing Mysterio to sit on his head, Henry powders out and regroups with Kane and Atlas on the outside.
During the commercial break, Hardy and Mysterio continued to work on Henry's injured left leg. Henry made a tag to Kane, and we come back to Kane nearly choking Hardy in the middle of the ring. Kane tags Henry in, who puts Hardy in the corner, lays in some punches, then tries for a scoop slam. Hardy wiggles out, clips the back of the leg again and takes him down. Hardy bounces off the ropes, but Henry is able to recover and delivers a clothesline. Henry tries for a splash, Hardy rolls out, Henry injures his knee more, Hardy tags in Mysterio. Mysterio with a kick to the knee, leapfrog off the ropes for a splash, pin attempt, a kick to the head. Mysterio bounces off the ropes, Kane clubs him from behind. Mysterio recovers, tries another high-flying move on Henry, Henry tosses him outside, rests, then goes out to collect him.
Henry drags Mysterio's body across the ring to tag in Kane. Kane grabs Mysterio by the head, delivers a headbutt, then headbutts Mysterio into the corner. Kane takes his time to measure out a trio of kicks to the head. Henry gets tagged in, he delivers another headbutt to Mysterio, then stands on his chest. Henry drags Myterio to the middle of the ring, covers him for a pin attempt, then tags in Kane. Mysterio tries to scramble for a tag, but Kane cuts him off with a elbow drop to the back of the head. Kane covers Mysterio for a pin, gets a two count. Kane whips Mysterio off the ropes, ducks down, Mysterio delivers a kick to the face, Mysterio tries to bounce off the ropes but Kane drills him with a punch right in the face. Kane tries to go for the Clothesline from Hell from the top turnbuckle, Mysterio ducks under it, delivers a dropkick and a flying headscissor on Kane, then tags in Matt Hardy.
Hardy with a swinging neckbreaker on Kane, then delivers a dropkick to Mark Henry's knee on the apron, Henry falls off and hits his face on the apron. Hardy with a elbow drop off the top turnbuckle on Kane. Henry gets in the ring and charges, Hardy pulls down the top rope and Henry sails over. Hardy with a drop toehold on Kane, hanging him up on the ropes, Mysterio comes back in and delivers a 6-1-9. Mysterio then tries for a headscissor takeover on Henry on the outside, while Hardy goes up top for a high-risk move. Henry catches Mysterio and throws him into the ropes, which causes Hardy to lose his balance. Kane catches Hardy in the chokeslam for the pin.
WINNERS: Mark Henry and Kane. We go backstage and see Shawn Michaels limping to the ring for his match. This week on SmackDown, The Big Show challenges Triple H for the WWE Championship, the first-ever meeting for the two phenoms of professional wrestling.
NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH: Lance Cade vs. Shawn Michaels
We take our time getting to this match, plenty of recaps from the last month showing us how we got to this point. We finaly get our ring introductions out of the way, though.
We start off with the two men trading punches, Cade takes Michaels down with a clothesline, then throws him to the outside. Cade goes out as well, pulls a table from underneath the ring, then throws Michaels into the announcers table. Cade mounts Michaels and delivers a series of punches, but for some reason referee Mike Chiota is telling Cade to get back in the ring. Uh, WHY? It's a no-DQ match, remember? Cade sets up a table, picks up Michaels and slams him through the table, busting the table up. Cade gets in Michaels' face and taunts him, grabs him by the face and talks more smack before throwing him back into the ring.
Cade goes over to the timekeeper's area and grabs a chair, brings it into the ring with him. Michaels suddenly pounces Cade with a Thesz Press, rains down with the punches, grabs the chair and swings for the fences, using Cade's head as a ball. Michaels then beats the holy piss out of Cade, every exposed body part takes a shot, this is VICIOUS looking! Cade's selling it like a champ until he just stops moving. Michaels rolls Cade over and gets the pinfall.
WINNER: Shawn Michaels. The camera focuses in on Michaels' eyes, they're cold. The camera draws back out and Michaels' face is emotionless. The referee checks on Cade, and suddenly Michaels snaps again, picking up the chair and laying in another dozen chairshots on Cade's body. The fans start chanting "H-B-K! H-B-K!", we recap the chairshots, go back and see Michaels walking towards the backstage area.
WWE FACT: Last Friday WWE SmackDown was the highest rated program in the history of MyNetwork TV. NO DUH?? Really? Huh, who would have though that "Celebrity Expose", reruns of "The Twilight Zone" and knockoffs of America's Funniest Home Videos would have been knocked off by the highest-rated show in WB and UPN Network's histories?
Back in the ring, Jerry "the King" Lawler announces thta Cyber Sunday is in just a few weeks, and the fans are going to get to pick who Santino Marella gets to defend the WWE Intercontinental Championship against: "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Goldust or The Honky Tonk Man.
Lillian Garcia starts to announce the next match, but The Great Khali's music interrupts, Khali and manager Rungen Singh come down to the ring. Michael Cole discusses a poorly-conducted interview with Johnny Knoxville on JackassWorld.com. Khali gets in the ring and cuts a promo about it, all I understood was "Johnny Knoxville" and "Jackass". They show the segment in question, Johnny Knoxville apparently tried to ask Khali how big his Johnson was, and it apparently offended Khali, who felt it was improper, stands up, throws some stuff around and then walks out on the interview.
We come back and Khali apparently is calling out Knoxville, and challenges him to come to Raw next week so Khali can prove to him that he's the definition of entertainment. And to prove that he's a fun guy, Khali is going to host tonight's "Kiss Cam" segment, which goes pretty uneventful until the camera focuses in on Lillian Garcia. Khali comes over, grabs her, and plants one hell of a smacker on her, then leaves the ring. Singh comments, "Khali says that he'll call you." Lawler suggests that Garcia just change her number. Off to commercial!
We come back and we have ECW's John Morrison and Mike "the Miz" Mizain at ringside for for some reason. We have Jillian Hall in the ring for a match, she decides to give a horrible tribute to Kurt Cobain. Kelly Kelly is introduced next, andshe's got a change up in her attire. She's also joined by Cryme Tyme, who head to the announcer's table as well.
Jillian Hall vs. Kelly Kelly
We start the match with some chain wrestling, ending with Kelly Kelly getting a pin attempt on Hall. But obviously there is no focus on this match, because we spend all this time listening to the boys arguing, and apparently they have to mute Michael Cole's mic because he's laughing too hard. They start breaking down with "Yo Mamma" jokes. *sigh* Seriously, this is distracting. In the ring, Jillian Hall has had nearly all the offensive, Kelly is trying to fight back. Between a subpar women's match and the arguing at ringside, the fans are fed up and start a "We want wrestling!" chant. A few fans at ringside are getting extra rowdy as well.
Here's how pathetic the actual wrestling is, and yes I'm actually going to break kayfabe here: Hall is trying to hit a simple belly-to-back suplex that Kelly is supposed to flip out of, and it takes Kelly THREE TRIES to get enough air. Kelly fips through, does the Oklahoma Roll thing, gets the win.
WINNER: Kelly Kelly. UGH, that was an absolutely horrible segment and a waste of five minutes. The last half hour of this show has been completely pathetic. What in the hell happened??
#1 Contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship:
Dave Batista vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield
WWE World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho comes out, dressed in the stripes, he will be our special referee. We recap the opening segment of the evening where Batista hit Jericho with a spinebuster. John Layfield is introduced first. Then Chris Jericho whispers somethign to Lillian Garcia and she introduces our special guest timekeeper, William Regal. Lillian Garcia is then given ANOTHER instruction, and announces a special guest commentator - Randy Orton. Apparently Jericho is sacking the deck against Batista. We take a commercial to return for Batista's introduction. Orton is asks why he's out here by Cole, he says he doesn't know.
The fans start a big "Ba-tis-ta!" chant as we get a lockup, Batista puts JBL in the corner, gets a clean break. Another lock-up, JBL with a boot to Batista's midsection, whips him into a corner, Batista with a shoulder block, goes for the cover, Jericho is slow in counting. Batista puts JBL in the corner, delivers some punches, whips him off the ropes hits him with a double punch to the midsection, then clips the back of the leg and delivers a punch to the back of the kidneys. Batista picks up JBL and drops a kneebreaker, then goes into a Figure Four leglock. JBL writhes in the middle of the ring, trying to scoot to the ropes, fingertips away, he slaps it and Jericho demands that Batista break the hold.
Batista reluctantly does so, turns around and gets a boot to the midsection from JBL, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. JBL goes for the cover, Jericho tries to pound out a fast three-count, but Batista beats the count, getting his shoulder up. JBL puts Batista in the corner, beats on him, pulls him out with a clothesline, cover and a two count. JBL sets up Batista for a suplex, Batista blocks it twice and delivers his own. Batista with a cover, hooks the leg, Jericho doesn't even try to go for a count. An irate Batista stansd up, Jericho steps out of the ring and tells him to get back to the match. Batista turns around and JBL thumbs him in the eyes, both men go outside.
JBL takes a punch at Batista, and Chris Jericho pulls him off, telling him to get back in the ring, pushing him around the ring and back into the squared circle. This allows William Regal to come over and get a cheap shot on Batista. JBL rolls out of the ring to throw Batista in, covers, Jericho pounds out a quick count, Batista again beats it. JBL then hems Batista up with a Full Nelson. Batista powers out of it with a jawjacker, bounces off the ropes, and JBL catches him in a Sleeper hold. Batista powers out of that via a belly-to-back suplex, both men are now down. Jericho is cheerleading JBL to get up, both men get on their feet, Batista starts to manhandle JBL, throwing him in the corner, delivers the shoulder blocks into the midsection, whips JBL out and starts for a charge, Jericho trips Batista, Batista stumbles, gets up, and realizes that he can't do anything about it.
JBL staggers out of the corner, Batista plants him with the spinebuster. Batista bounces off the ropes, but William Regal gets on the apron again, Jericho's back is turned intentionally. Batista beats Regal down, turns around and charges at JBL for the spear, but Jericho steps in the way, and Batista takes them both out, Jericho rolls out of the ring and falls to the mat. Batista holds his head in frustration, he realizes that if Jericho recovers, he'll be disqualified.
Suddenly, up on the ramp, we see WWE Raw GM Mike Adamle, and he's waving his hands, he's calling out senior referee Mike Chiota to replace Jericho! Chiota gets in, Batista goes for the cover, 1... 2... KICKOUT! JBL recovers, he goes for the Clothesline from Hell, Batista ducks it, BATISTA BOMB! 1-2-3 it's done!
WINNER: Dave Batista. Mike Adamle takes the mic and says that it was ironic that Chris Jericho made himself a special referee, because that was one of the ideas he came up with in his meeting with Shane & Stephanie McMahon earlier in the day. He was encouraged to shake things up, and that he will. At Cyber Sunday Chris Jericho will defend the WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Dave Batista, and the fans will get to vote on their choice for special referee: "the Legend Killer" Randy Orton, "the Heart Break Kid" Shawn Michaels, or "the Texas Rattlesnake" "Stone Cold" Steve Austin!
That's how we end the show, goodnight everybody, see you tomorrow night on the Big D & Superfriend podcast, don't forget to tune in!