| Date: 06/29 | 7:55 PM |
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Killa Kev is recapping WWE Monday Night Raw live on AngryMarks.com. Join us in the AngryMarks.com/chat room every Monday night for continuing commentary from the AngryMarks staff and friends!
The WWE Raw Recap - Hit F5 for the Latest Updates
Mr. McMahon comes right out to address the fans. He first comments about how Donald Trump, if he were here tonight, would give away Raw for free - both free of commercials and ticket refunds. Mr. McMahon says that he can't run Raw commercial-free, he needs the ad revenue. He says, however, that he can give the fans their money back...
... if he wanted to! (HAHA! Great swerve) Mr. McMahon starts griping about all the changes Trump wanted to make. Apparently Trump has also traded 15 stars between Raw, SmackDown and ECW! He did, however, agree that there was one thing he could do that Donald Trump did... have a special guest host for the evening... "The Animal" Dave Batista! Batista comes out, dressed in a conservative suit and wearing a noticeable brace on is arm. Batista comes down to the ring, steps inside and grabs a mic.
"YEAAAH!" shouts Batista to the cheering crowd, "Augh! Yes!" The fans start chanting Batista's name, interrupting his grunting. "Augh! Feels good! I tell ya, I'm excited... we're gonna have some fun tonight. We're gonna have a four man 'Night of the Champions' tournament to see who faces Orton for the title at Night of Champions. Those four men in those matches are gonna be Miz versus John Cena... and straight ballin' MVP versus my man THE GAME Triple H! Yes sir, we're gonna have some fun! Y'know when Vince asked me to do this I said NO WAY! No way I'm getting back in a suit! I'm a fighter, I'm a competitor, I'm not a guest host... "
Randy Orton's entrance music interrupts Batista's gruntings. And good thing, because you are sucking as a guest host, Batista! Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase come out with him. Orton takes a mic. "You shouldn't have come back, Batista... what are you, a glutton for punishment? What exactly do you think is stopping the three of us from marching down to that ring and tearing the rest of you apart?"
"What's stoppin' ya?" asks Batista. "Well, nuthin' I guess... except that if you even look at me the wrong way, I'm gonna fire all three of ya! Just like I was sayin', before you so rudely interrupted me. I didn't want to come back until I was ready to fight, but Vince told me that I'd have unlimited power. I can do anything I want! Which means I can make your life a living nightmare!"
Orton replies, "In case you missed it, Batista, it already is a nightmare. I barely survived Three Stages of Hell against Triple H. I got hit in the head with a sledgehammer, I can barely walk!" Batista mocks Orton, saying "WAAH! WAAH! WAAH! I can barely walk I got hit with a sledgehammer! No body wants to hear you whine. I'm not going to make you defend your title, no need to worry about that. What you DO need to worry about is the Trade that Trump made before he was fired. You remember, Raw acquired five new superstars, but I'm only going to have you face three of them in a three-on-one gauntlet match! Because, because I know how much you love three-on-one fights! So I think it's about time that you found out how it feels to be on the receiving end of one."
Well this is an interesting way to start the night, and up next is MVP versus HHH!Our WWE Rewind, sponsored by Pizza Hut, are highlight photos from the Three Stages of Hell match between Triple H and Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.
Night of Champions WWE Championship Tournament Match: Triple H vs. Montel Vontaveous Porter
Wow, MVP is going to get the top billing in this match? NICE! We get highlights of Porter and The View's Sherri Shepard attending last night's BET Music Awards.
We lock up, Triple H immediately with the side headlock, Porter shoots him off, Triple H eats the shoulder tackle. Porter tries a single-leg takedown, targeting Triple H's injured leg, Triple H clubs him in the back. Porter shoots for it again, drives Triple H into the corner, Triple H punches his way out, Porter again grabs the leg, drives Triple H back to the corner, wraps the leg around the ropes and punches on it. Referee breaks it, Porter kicks the leg, drops a few elbows on it. Triple H limps off to a corner, Porter charges, Triple H comes out punching HARD, tries to whip Porter off the ropes for a Spinebuster, Porter dodges it, clips the back of the leg, and slaps on a Figure Four Leglock, Triple H writhes in pain.
The fans are cheering appreciatively for both men as Triple H tries to reverse the leglock, but falls to his back and barely avoids a pin. Triple H leans up and punches Porter in the head, loosening the hold. Porter back on the attacks, tries to re-apply the leglock, Triple H kicks him off, knee to the face, kick to the midsection, trying for the Pedigree, but Porter again attacks the injured leg, then hits Triple H with his own facebuster! Porter calls for the BALLIN~! elbow drop and the fans BOO him! Porter connects, goes for the cover, two count. Triple H gets into the corner, Porter charges with the boot to the face, Triple H dodges it, kicks Porter in the midsection, tries for the Pedigree, Triple H gets backdropped. Triple H moves to the corner, Porter charges and connects with the boot to the face, cover, 1... 2... kickout! Porter picks up Triple H, goes for the Playmaker, Triple H ducks out of it, boot to the midsection, Pedigree, 1-2-3.
WINNER: Triple H. Good match for both men, you knew Triple H was going over but would have been great if Porter had picked up the win. After the match Triple H limps around the ring posing down. But after Triple H went through a Last Man Standing match last week, a Three Stages of Hell match last night, and the beating his leg just took, Jerry "the King" Lawler doesn't think that Triple H can finish the tournament tonight.
WWE Unified Tag Team Championships: champion Edge & Chris Jericho vs. Carlito & Primo Colon
Edge & Jericho are introduced first, Jericho takes the mic. "Despite my vow to never appear on Raw again, by virtue of my massive talent and my prodigious abilities I now find myself in front of all you hypocrites once again! In front of the cretins that make up the Raw audience. but make no mistake about it the only reason I am still here..."
Edge interrupts his partner, "Wait wait wait, the only reason you are still here is because I approached you last night and told you that we needed to make a united front. Together we can control WWE. So last night we marched into Teddy Long's office and demanded a WWE Unified Tag Team Championship match! And now tonight we appear before you as the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions and we can appear on any show that we want! That's what separates us from you, we are winners where the rest of you are losers!"
Edge & Jericho's rantings are cut off by the Colon's entrance music. No witty replies from the former champs coming for their rematch.
Primo and Jericho square off first, lock up, Jericho with the side headlock, Primo shoots him off the ropes, Jericho with the shoulder tackle and the smug face. Primo leapfrogs over Jericho n the next pass, dropkick, headscissor takeover and an armbar wringer, followed by a kick to the guts and a leg sweep. Primo bounces off the ropes, Edge reaches out to punch him, Primo stops himself, knocks Edge off the apron, then throws a charging Jericho over the top rope onto Edge, followed by the Colons hitting a pair of suicide dives through the ropes! We take a break.
During the break we see Primo charge Edge, Edge hits the Snake Eyes and the champions get the upper hand. Back on television, Jericho gets a two count on a pin before tagging Edge back in, Edge lays out Primo with punch, puts him in the corner, punch to the face, whip out to the opposite corner, Primo collapses, Edge covers, hook of the leg, two count. Edge grabs Primo by the leg and drags him into his corner, tags in Jericho, who kicks Primo in the back and paintbrush slaps the back of the head. Primo tries a headbutt into the midsection, Jericho knees him right in his piehole! Jericho puts Primo in the corner, whips him out to the opposite side, tries for the bulldog, Primo shoves Jericho off and face-first into a turnbuckle!
Both men go down, Primo leaps for the hot tag to Carlito, who springboards off the ropes and dropkicks Jericho in the face, followed by a pair of clotheslines and a Hangman's Neckbreaker, cover, two count. Carlito off the ropes and runs right into a reverse elbow from Jericho. Jericho tries for the Lionsault, Carlito ducks it, springboards off the ropes for his own version of the Lionsault, cover 1... 2... th KICKOUT! Wow it was THAT close! Jericho tries to catapult Carlito into the corner, but Carlito springs forward and hits Edge with a forearm smash! Jericho takes Carlito down, tags in Edge.
Edge tries for a Spear, Primo pulls Carlito out of the way, Edge with a confrontation with Primo on the apron which causes the referee to get Primo off the apron. Carlito with the backstabber on Edge, goes for the pin, but the ref isn't there to count it! Ref turns around, one... two... Jericho runs in to break up the pin! Primo dashes into the ring, chases Jericho off to the outside. Edge tries for the Spear again, Carlito leapfrogs it, goes for the springboard reverse elbow... Carlito slips! Jericho knocks Primo into the side of the ring, Primo grabs the middle rope to catch himself just as Carlito is going for the springboard, and Carlito slips off! Carlito turns around and Edge catches him with the Spear! Game over!
WINNERS: Edge & Chris Jericho. The champions celebrate their win and bail, the Colons gripe in the middle of the ring about what happened and their loss. Backstage Orton is griping backstage to Rhodes & DiBiase about his match tonight. Batista walks in and tells Orton, "Oh, I forgot to remind you, if either one of them get involved in your match tonight I'm going to fire them on the spot!" Batista chuckles and walks off, Orton practically beats his head into the wall.
This Thursday on WWE Superstars, WWE World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk takes on one-half of the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, Edge! That'll be some good watching!
Night of Champions WWE Championship Tournament Match: John Cena vs. Mike "the Miz" Mizanin
Well here we go with another PPV rematch that will probably be short and ugly. Holy HELL they just showed some chick on the screen who had some BANGIN' tits! Even Stevie J had to log into the AngryMarks.com/chat room to comment!
Cena start off on the offensive, but Mizanin turns it back around for a moment, tries to whip Cena off the ropes, eats an elbow, an arm drag, body slam, elbow drop, cover and a two count. Cena with a big right that puts Mizanin into the corner, gets whipped out to the opposite side, Cena charges, Mizanin puts up the boot then leaps on Cena for some ground 'n pound punches. Mizanin follows up with some kicks to the face and stomps on the head, pulls up Cena to drill him between the eyes. Fans start cheering for Cena as he's picked back up and whipped off the ropes, Cena reverses it and takes Mizanin for the ride with the big backdrop, giant suplex, cover and a two count as Mizanin kicks out.
Cena settles things down with a side headlock on the mat. Fans on the front row are starting a chant I don't quite understand. Cena puts Mizanin in the corner as he gets to his feet, Miz with a big cheap-shot right as referee tries to break the corner action, Mizanin with a snap suplex on Cena, cover, two count. Jerry Lawler comments that Mizanin's actions are very similar to Cena's when he started. Good point! Mizanin with a side headlock, Cena tries to power out of it, Miz cuts him off with a knee to the midsection, kick to the face and running kneelift, followed by a hangman's neckbreaker, cover and a two count. Cena for a reverse chinlock, clubs Cena in the chest, club to the back of the neck.
Mizanin drives Cena into the corner and lays in a pair of shoulder tackles, then goes right back to the face and punches Cena. Cena falls to his face, Mizanin picks him back up and drills him again, Cena falls back into the corner. Mizanin with one more, whips Cena out, Cena reverses it and tries for a bulldog out of the corner, Mizanin shoves him off, charges as Cena gets hung up on the ropes and leaps over it, choking Cena over the ropes. Mizanin springs back into the ring and hits a swinging neckbreaker on Cena, cover, two count. Cena throws Mizanin in the corner and aggressively punches him. Referee pulls him off, Mizanin goes back in again and more aggressive punches, referee pulls him off again and... wow... we're going to a commercial break! They're gonna make a match of this!
During the break, Mizanin hits a double axehandle smash onto Cena's head from the top turnbuckle. Back on the action, Mizanin has a sleeper hold on Cena, Cena powers out of it and flips Mizanin over his head! Cena charges with a clothesline, Mizanin puts a boot up to stop it, bounces off the ropes and takes Cena down with his own clothesline, cover, two count. Mizanin puts Cena in the corner and chokes him by the boot, reeree breaks it. Mizanin charges across the ring and hits a clothesline. Mizanin climbs to the top turnbuckle, taking too much time as Cena is able to recover, rush up, punch him, and picks up Mizanin on his shoulders for the Attitude Adjustment, Mizanin rolls of, picks up Cena in the Electric Chair, drops him on his head, cover, two count! Miz hooks the leg and pins again, two count!
Mizanin is looking good in this match, and dishes out more punches and kicks for Cena as he's down on the mat! Mizanin starts working over Cena's shoulders to take away the power on the Attitude Adjustment, legdrop onto the head, picks up Cena to his knees, bounces off the ropes and kicks Cena in the face! Mizanin again covers, only gets two. Mizanin picks up Cena, mouths him, bounces off the ropes, Cena with a drop toe hold and tries for the STF, Mizanin wiggles out, wraps his body around Cena's back and applies a full-body sleeper on Cena right in the middle of the ring! Cena tries to fight it, but instead he falls. Cena's face is going purple as the fans chant for him, Cena rolls over to his knees, gets back up to his feet, grabs Mizanin by the legs and drives backwards into the corner, slamming Miz and breaking the hold!
Mizanin charges out of the corner for a clothesline, Cena ducks it, bounces off the ropes, hits a pair of shoulder tackles and then the side slam! Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle and delivers, Mizanin stumbles to his feet, takes the kick to the midsection, Cena off the ropes and nails the Blockbuster. Cena goes to the top turnbuckle and connects with the guillotine legdrop to the head, then locks in the STF... Mizanin taps!
WINNER: John Cena. Damn good match, Cena puts over Mizanin like a million bucks! Next week Triple H and John Cena face each other for the right to challenge WWE Champion Randy Orton at the Night of Champions pay-per-view! Backstage after the break, Orton is still freaking out about tonight's match. DiBiase tells Orton that he just needs to settle down and survive tonight, because he was just told next week "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase will be the guest host!
Orton just stares down Ted and says, "What does that do for me tonight?" and walks off. Wow, what a pompous ass!
Fatal Four-Way for #1 Contender to the WWE Divas Championship: Kelly Kelly vs. Mickie James vs. "the Glamazon" Beth Phoenix vs. Rosa Mendez
Kelly Kelly and Mickie James are introduced first. WWE Divas Champion Maryse Oulet comes out next, once again for "color commentary". We take a break... wow, really? We take a break NOW? *eye rolls* Phoenix & Mendez get NO introduction!
And this match gets NO respect, because the commentary is all about Mike Mizanin's obsession with Maryse Oulet! Mendez and Phoenix quickly put James and Kelly away, until they turn on each other! James dropkicks both of them out of the ring. Kelly and James square off, James with a side headlock, Kelly escapes, James with a leg sweep, cover, two count. James tries to hit a belly-to-back suplex on Kelly, Mendez runs in, James drops Kelly and they both dropkick mendez in the face. Phoenix runs in and spears them both! Phoenix goes for pin attempts on both women, then kicks both of them in the face.
Phoenix mounts James and drills her with punches. Mendez tries to attack Phoenix, until Phoenix turns around and catches her, Mendez begs off. Phoenix tries for slingshot suplex on James, James bounces out of it and catches Phoenix in a Dragon Sleeper! Mendez locks on a sleeper on James, and Kelly jumps on Mendez's back for another sleeper!
Phoenix escapes, and charges the other three women into the corner, plowing them all down. Kelly and Mendez fall out of the ring, Phoenix targets James, James counters with kicks to the midsection, ducks a clothesline, rushes the ropes, Phoenix holds on and elbows James in the face. Kelly stiff shots Phoenix in the face, slingshots over the ropes, sunset flip on Phoenix, cover and a two count as James breaks it up. Mendez gets in and throws Kelly out, dropkicks James into the corner. Phoenix slams Mendez, cover, two count as Kelly breaks it up. James and Kelly take turns hitting Phoenix with forearm shots, then they bounces off the ropes and double-team Phoenix with shoulder tackles. Kelly with the cover, two count.
Phoenix and Kelly pair off, James takes out Mendez with kicks to the ribs. Phoenix hits the Down in Flames on Kelly, cover, James breaks it up, they trade forearm shots to the face, do-si-do whip into the corner, Phoenix charges, James with an elbow and a headscissor takeover that sends Phoenix over the apron, James with a baseball slide dropkick to finish it. Mendez attacks James with knees and punches to the head, James fires back with the Mick Kick and a VICIOUS tornado DDT, covers... 1... 2... 3!
WINNER: Mickie James. Oulet makes a disgusting look and gestures with her hands. James comes down to the announcers table and blows her kisses and a wink. Oulet signals for her to back up and keep her space. We replay the ending, then James rolls back into the ring and checks on Kelly Kelly.
WWE United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. the Big Show (non-title match)
Kingston might possibly have his biggest match ever. If Big Show can win, he'll get a title shot in the future. We start with Kingston hitting kicks on Big Show's legs, bounces off the ropes, Big Show knocks him down with a clothesline. Big Show with big punches and kicks on Kingston. Big Show starts to target Kingston's left arm with headbutts. Kingston with some punches, Big Show swats him down and steps on his chest. Scoop slam by Big Show, followed by stalking around the ring intimidating the fans. Big Show takes his time for a big elbow drop and Kingston rolls out of the way. Kingston follows up with a dropkick to the face that does nothing, followed by the "controlled frenzy" of kicks and punches... no effect as Big Show whips him into the corner, charges, Kingston counters with a pendulum kick followed by a big dropkick to the face that sends the Big Show to the mat! Kingston with the high double leg drop, covers, two count.
Big Show goes off to the corner, Kingston charges and leaps up into Big Show's face, and the former champ just throws Kingston over his shoulders and onto the floor. Big Show steps over the top rope and down to the arena floor, lays Kingston over the table and chops him in the chest. Big Show takes his time to lift Kingston over his head to press slam him back into the ring, Kingston wiggles off his back and escapes, then shoves Big Show into the steel ring post! Referee is counting... Big Show is out cold! Kingston is struggling, gets to his feet, but he can't beat the count, either!
NO WINNER, DOUBLE COUNT OUT! Kingston is all rubber legged as he gets back into the ring, Big Show gets to his feet, seethes at Kingston and walks to the back.
Three-on-One Gauntlet Match: WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. Evan Bourne (non-title match)
Randy Orton makes his way to the ring. Officially announced for next week, "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase is the special guest host for the night, which teases that while Dave Batista may get to punish Orton tonight, next week DiBiase will help Orton get his revenge.
Evan "Air" Bourne is announced as Orton's first challenge... FUCK! Bourne was doing great on ECW, and now he'll be buried on Raw! FUCK FUCK FUCk! Orton whips Bourne off the ropes, Bourne ducks it and hits a flying cross-body block. Orton throws Bourne over the top rope, Bourne hangs onto the ropes, Orton tries to suplex him back into the ring, Bourne flips out of it, throws Orton in the corner, catches him with a windmill kick out of hte corner, cover, two count. Bourne with kicks to Orton's legs, orton counters with a headbutt to Bourne's chest. Orton stomps on Bourne's chest several times, picks him up for a move, Bourne trips him, hits the standing moonsault press, covers, one count as Orton quickly kicks out.
Orton tries to pick up Bourne, Bourne with a drop toe hold, cover, two count. Another drop toe hold from Bourne, baseball slide dropkick to the head, cover two count. Bourne tries to whip Orton into the corner, Orton reverses and charges, Bourne puts a boot up to stop it, leaps to the top turnbuckle and hits a missle dropkick! Bourne goes back up top again for the Shooting Star Press, but Orton hits the ropes and knocks him off, racking him on the top turnbuckle. Orton runs over, grabs Bourne by the neck and rips him off with a bulldog! 1-2-3 Bourne is done.
WINNER: Randy Orton.
Three-on-One Gauntlet Match: WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. "the All-American American" Jack Swagger (non-title match)
WOW, now this may be a good match-up for Swagger, both men of equal size and equal ego! Swagger charges Orton and hits a Greco-Roman slam to the mat, THEN BEATS HIS CHEST LIKE A GORILLA! Swagger then backs off, steps out of the ring, stands on the apron and folds his arm, grinning! Orton realizes that Swagger isn't going to fight him and is giving him a break as the referee counts him out. BULLSHIT!!! UGH!
WINNER: Randy Orton. Jack Swagger asks for a mic and steps back into the ring. "Randy, I've always liked you, I've always respected you, and on my first night on Raw, I wanted to leave a lasting impression." Orton comes over and shake Swaggers hand, Swagger steps out of the ring and leaves. Orton turns to the entrance to wait for his last opponent.
Three-on-One Gauntlet Match: WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. "the World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry (non-title match)
Wow, ECW has been RAPED! Mark Henry steps into the ring with a mic. "Randy, I've always liked you myself. And I, too, have a lot of respect for you, and just like Jack Swagger, I came here on my first night on Raw to make an impression, and it's gonna be a good one!" Henry puts down the mic and he's gonna fight! They lock up and Henry tosses Orton down like a sack of potatoes! NO! Henry is going to step out of the ring as well and take a count-out! Henry stops the count at 8, grabbing the ref's hand, and then wagging his finger!
Henry steps back into the ring, and Orton falls to his knees, begging for mercy! Henry is laughing and soaking it up! Henry grabs Orton by the neck, picks him up, throws him in the corner! Big Beil Toss out of the corner, Henry follows up with a headbutt, throws Orton around some more until Orton cuts off Henry with a slap to the face... MISTAKE! Orton tries to grab Henry by the neck, Henry grabs him back, big headbutt to the face! Orton reels, recovers, kicks Henry in the legs a few times, tries for the RKO, but Henry blocks it, shoves him off, and finishes off the WWE Champion with the World's Strongest Slam!
WINNER: Mark Henry !!! The fans explode with cheers for Henry, and he soaks it up! Holy fuck, Mark Henry as a BABYFACE?? Maybe I can buy this... Dave Batista comes out and stands at the top of the ramp, Henry claps his hands and nods to Batista.
NEXT WEEK ON RAW (being taped NEXT!) John Cena & Triple H face off for #1 Contender for the WWE Championship, and "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase is the special guest host!
Join myself and Nickolye tomorrow night for the next edition of RING THE BELL on the AngryMarks Podcast Network, 11pm ET right after ECW at BlogTalkRadio.com/ringthebell !