ROH DVD Review: Arena Warfare - Part 1

Yet another installment in our ongoing series reviewing RING OF HONOR DEE-VEE-DEEZ~! This show is a four year jump ahead from previous ROH DVD reviews, but quite frankly one could hardly blame me given the shitty quality of the "Takedown Masters" releases I had done, which culminated with the Night of Appreciation release freezing every two seconds during an Eddie Guerrero tag match. Ruining any match the late great Eddie Guerrero was in should be a crime punishable by death, but instead of dwelling in the past it's time to jump ahead to one of the most exciting periods in the history of Ring of Honor, that being their feud with Combat Zone Wrestling during the spring and summer of 2006. ROH labelled DVD's from this period the "Milestone Series" and you'll see just how apt that name is reading these '06 reviews.

We open with a graphic noting the name, location and date of this event: "Arena Warfare" in Philadelphia, PA from March 11th, 2006. Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels is standing outside a red brick building, wearing casual business attire and his trademark sunglasses. "It was a little over four years ago that my plane landed in Philadelphia and I walked into an unknown building for an unknown promotion, but by the end of that night everybody knew that the Era of Honor had begun. Ring of Honor presented some of the best wrestling shows ever in this building, and I had some of the toughest hardest matches of my career right here. In fact this is where I went 60 minutes in my first attempt to be ROH World Champion. No matter what talent walked through this door, we always heard this one voice asking us the same question." He walks away and gets in a waiting car. "We were always asked - if you run in Philadelphia, when are you going to run in the ECW Arena, when will Ring of Honor make its mark inside those hallowed halls. Well the ECA Arena might have a different name and look now, but it's still the same building where the revolution was born. It's still the most important building in wrestling's underground, where a local promotion broke through the barrier and went live on PPV. Wrestling stars like Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio, Taz, Sabu, Tommy Dreamer, so many guys so many guys. Some of the most famous events in wrestling took place there. Who can forget when Dreamer finally pinned Raven, or when Shane Douglas took the NWA title and threw it to the ground. That building has symbolized wrestling, and ever since ECW went down so many companies tried to fill those shoes. Some of them did okay, some failed miserably, but none ever filled the shoes of ECW. And now, four years after we first opened our doors, finally Ring of Honor is stepping to the plate. Finally Ring of Honor is going to bring their style of professional wrestling to the ECW Arena. Finally we're going to show the world, and we're going to make our mark in that building. What a night it's gonna be. Four years in the making, and now it's down to moments, moments away." The car stops and Daniels steps out across the street from New Ahlambra, where a line of people are already waiting outside. "We make our own legacy in one of the most famous arenas in the world today. Better believe it means something to me and everybody on the roster to wrestle in this building. Tonight, we make our mark." Fantastic promo, and the visual of Daniels being able to cut that entire promo in one trip from the gym ROH used to wrestle in during a short car ride to the New Alhambra is fantastic - it shows just how close the two buildings really are.

* Tag Team Scramble: Briscoe Brothers v. Blade & Mikaze v. Homicide & Reyes v. Dunn & Marcos.

The fans in the New Alhambra are already screaming and going nuts just for this curtain jerker match, but for my money the best entrance is Homicide and Reyes coming out to Beanie Sigel's music, even though 'Cide was not nearly the fan favorite he is today. The announce of Dave Prazak and Lenny Leonard is "high above in the Eagle's nest" as Joey Styles always used to say, and they inform us we're starting the night with an ROH trademark and ending the night with an ECW trademark. Mikaze drops Marcos chest first in the center of the ring and before you can blink it changes to Blade and Dunn in the ring. Springboard off the ropes nails Dunn in the face for a two count. Homicide blind tags in and there are a few scattered boos - my how that would change in a few months time. 'Cide takes over as the announcers inform is that this is a double show tonight and CZW is performing afterwards, and the idea that the two have to be kept in seperate lockerrooms to keep from killing each other is used to build tension. Now Mark Briscoe and Jason Blade are in, there's another blind tag and now Mikaze is in with Mizark and gets suplexed right onto his head to a round of applause from the crowd. Mark tags out and Jay Briscoe works Mikaze with vicious elbows and a swinging neckbreaker for a two count. Back over to their corner and Mark tags in again. Russing leg sweep by Jay and a double foot stomp by Mark gets a two count. Mikaze finally tags out and we have momentary chaos in the ring before it spills outside and Mikaze goes over the top ropes with a dive. Mark hits the ropes to do a dive outside too but Dunn cuts him off with a clothesline hard, and then he and his partner Marcos do their own dives. Mark tries to go top rope but Jason blade throws him off to the floor, he goes up instead and does a backflip moonsault from the top to the floor. Now Mark FINALLY gets his chance and goes up for the shooting star press, nailing it and wiping out Blade in the process. Back inside the ring it's Reyes and Briscoe, forearms to the head, spinning heel kick by Briscoe lays out Reyes. Elbows and chops in the corner followed by a belly to belly suplex and a kick to the back. Reyes responds with kicks, a flying knee, and a suplex on Mark's head. Jay comes in and does a neckbreaker off the top. Homicide comes back in and goes to work on Jay, climbs to the second rope, Jay gives him a belly to belly off rope two, tries to go up tope but Marcos throws him off and comes in the ring himself. It's chaos again with everybody in the ring as Dunn comes off the top with an elbow. It's gory bombs, sentons, and if there was Chinese takeout you could have some wontons. Finally we have a near fall before 'Cide breaks it up and now it's Dunn and Jay Briscoe. Dunn misses on a powerbomb but connects with a dragon sleeper right in the center of the ring, Mark breaks it up before Jay can pass out. Mark with knees to his head before 'Cide cuts him off with chops and a choke. 'Cide takes him over to Reyes, Reyes goes up top, double team superbomb connects but the three count is once again broken up. Jay Briscoe sets up the Jay driller but gets cut off, he tries to get it a second time and Homicide lariats the hell out of him. Homicide lands the cop killer on Marcos and gets the three as the crowd goes nuts. WINNERS: REYES & HOMICIDE a.k.a. THE ROTTWEILERS. Nobody's booing Homicide now - in fact the crowd starts bouncing and stomping along to the Beanie Sigel theme music. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Homicide is "The Truth." The other teams bitch as the victors celebrate in the ring and Marcos is helped to the back, selling the hell out of that cop killer. The Rottweilers exist with 'Cide throwing up gang signs.

While this is going on BJ Whitmer hits the ring, and immediately a chant breaks out of "Necro's gonna KILL YOU!" Whitmer does not seemed pleased. "Two weeks ago at the 4th Anniversary show I was involved in my biggest match in ROH when I got the chance to lock horns with Christopher Daniels." The crowd chants "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and "WE WANT NECRO." Whitmer: "I don't care, I'll stay here all fucking night. I had the opportunity to slay a demon that has haunted me all too long. That chance was taken away by a group of hardcore, ultraviolent PIECES OF SHIT from CZW." This breaks out a C-Z-W chant. "When you got involved in my business you made this personal. So I issued an open challenge, and Necro accepted. So Necro, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW~!" The building is going insane with anticipation. "I know you can fucking here me, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE." One lone voice yells "Necro Butcher sucks" and Whitmer says "I knew he was too much of a bitch to come out here." Whitmer leaves and some female fan yells at him as he leaves "That's right, get the fuck out!" There's some hardcore CZW fans in the building tonight. Time for our next match!

* Roderick Strong v. Jimmy Yang

No ladies and gentlemen, this is not "I'm a REDNECK, WHO'S YER BOY" Jimmy WANG Yang, this is Jimmy Yang as the silk jacket wearing, slick shortcropped haircut Asian assassin, hitting the ring to strobe lights and a snappy uptempo beat. Strong and Yang respectfully shake hands to a round of applause from the crowd and the match gets started. The announcers put over the fact nobody from CZW had the balls to come out and confront Whitmer on their alleged home turf. Meanwhile Yang and Strong exchange holds and go-behinds, and Yang ends up on Strong's back. We are reminded this is a rematch for these two men and that Strong won the last encounter. Strong regains control with a wristlock and Yang fights to keep his shoulders off the mat. Yang escapes off the ropes, attempts a full nelson, gets armdragged and hit with a leg lariat - Strong pins him for two. Side headlock and Yang rolls him on his shoulders for a pin of one, so Strong lets go and gets back to his feet, and a chop war breaks out. Strong wins the war and Yang slumps on the ropes. Strong throws him off so Yang responds with a dropkick, knocking Strong outside, and then Yang nails an asai moonsault out to the floor. Strong staggers to his feet but Yang whips him into the steel guardrail before throwing him back in the ring for a two count. Yang tries to use to use a submission for a pinfall but can only get two. Strong back to his feet with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Vicious chop takes Yang out of his shoes and socks for a two count. Strong stretches out Yang and then a war of chops breaks out on the mat, Strong nails a butterfly suplex and complains about a slow ref count. Chin lock switches to a knee to the back and an arm stretch. Yang tries to power out and gets shoved into the corner, now it's an exchange of forearms. Yang gets the better of it, whips Strong to the corner, charges the corner and Strong gets out of the way - Yang goes sailing through the ropes to the floor. Strong throws Yang back in and topes from outside to in. Backbreaker and another two count, and Strong calls for applause from the crowd. More patented Strong chops, shoulders to the midsection, clubbing forearm to the back and neck of Yang, but Yang comes back with a few chops of his own and a spinning lariat kick. Both men are down on the mat. Yang gets up first and nails a series of clotheslines and a high backdrop. Spin kick off the second rope leads to a two count. Strong catches a charging Yang with another backbreaker and gets a 2.5. Yang pulled up by the hair, half nelson countered into an arm drag and yet another spin kick for Yang. Near fall. Both men are selling being weary and hurt from the battle. Strong goes back to the chops and goes for a flying big boot, but Yang kicks out at 2.9. Strong looks to be finishing Yang off, fireman's carry into double knees to the gut, Yang still kicks out before 3. Strong mocks Yang and some CZW fans mock him in return. Strong tries to charge Yang into the ropes but Yang fights out and hits a moonsault off the ropes for 2. Yang sets him up on the top turnbuckle but gets countered into a boston crab, and Yang is forced to tap out. WINNER AND STILL #1 IN THE RANKINGS: RODERICK STRONG. Seems that Roddy has Yang's number, figuratively and literally. The two respectfully shake hands again and Strong celebrates. Backstage Colt Cabana complains he wanted Homicide tonight instead of the match he's in, and says he'll take a cameraman with him to prove he'll fight Homicide any time, any place. Then we get Alex Shelley cutting a promo with Prince Nana at his side, saying you always remember your first time. "I also remember the first time Generation Next set foot in an ROH ring, and our motive was to take the top spots in this company. Well my motive hasn't changed. Bryan Danielson you're holding that top spot. Gordon Solie was right there are 5 points of balance, but one more important than the rest. You have 2 arms, 2 legs, but only one head. Spanky taught me the Sliced Bread #2, thanks to a bit of scrilla, and Danielson I'm taking out your neck tonight. After I win your title Vitamin A shots will be mandatory for everyone." Back in the ring Whitmer is cutting ANOTHER PROMO calling Necro and the CZW fans pieces of shit, he's sick of waiting, he wants Necro to MAN UP. Necro has finally had enough of Whitmer's crap and hits the entrance ramp, stopping just long enough to take off his shoes. It's time to get it on!

* BJ Whitmer v. Necro Butcher

The two start brawling outside the ring right in front of the fans, and a loud "NEC-RO, NEC-RO" chant breaks out. Whitmer finally gets the better of it and throws him in the ring, but Necro comes back with elbows through the ropes as Whitmer stands on the apron. Whitmer counters and tries to suplex him from the ring to the floor but Necro gives him a headbutt and steps through the ropes. The two tease going off the apron to the floor over and over, getting an "oh shit" reaction from the crowd several times, before Whitmer goes back inside and charges the ropes with a flying knee, sending Necro flying off the apron into the barricade hard. Necro rolls around in pain selling an arm injury on the floor. Whitmer starts getting a "B-J" pop but all of a sudden Super Dragon hits the ring and the place goes NUTS, air horns going off and the whole nine. Dragon lays him out and rags him to the center of the ring for a series I can only describe as a modified scorpion surfboard footstomp - it's bizarre but it gets a huge reaction and people start throwing TP towards the ring and chanting "SU-PER DRA-GON." Whitmer gets to his feet and we have DUELING CHANTS. "SU-PER DRA-GON" versus "LET'S GO B-J." This is what made the ROH v. CZW feud great - split crowds and intense heat for each encounter. Whitmer and Dragon spill outside, Whitmer whips him into the barricade and then throws him back into the ring. Whitmer and Dragon lock up before Necro jumps him from behind and lays him out. Necro stans in the ring, still selling the arm, and Dragon comes off the top rope with a double foot stomp to the neck. Now it's a "FUCK YOU DRAGON" chant - this is so much FUN. Necro and Dragon start a two on one beatdown but then seemingly the ENTIRE Ring of Honor hits the lockerroom and both Dragon and Necro flee the ring. "R-O-H! R-O-H!" Necro points at the ring and scowls, grabs a steel chair, and starts BASHING HIMSELF IN THE HEAD repeatedly. This man is crazy and I love it! He throws the chair at the ring and Dragon grabs another chair to protect himself, but Necro and Dragon decide to head for higher ground as the ROH wrestlers help Whitmer back to his feet. SIMULTANEOUS CZW AND ROH CHANTS. BJ CHANT. Whitmer: "Dragon, Necro, this is not fucking over!" I don't think you can say there was a victor as there was no ref, but the match was billed on the back cover of the DVD, so in conclusion the winners are the fans as this rivalry is only going to continue to escalate.

* Matt Sydal v. Austin Aries

What a world of difference it makes going from ROH to either TNA or WWE. The latter turned Jimmy Yang into a redneck, and the former turned Austin Aries into a lame Jesse Ventura ripoff. Here Aries comes out like a 100% badass, holding his one half of the tag team gold, and the announcers put over the Generation Next rivalry between these men. The announcers, who were completely silent during Whitmer v. Necro, put over how Whitmer stood up for Ring of Honor against the CZW wrestlers and "that punk Necro Butcher." Sydal and Aries lock up, fight to a standstill, and face off a couple of times circling each other. Sydal with a wristlock and a headlock, Aries goes behind for a waist lock, Sydal charges the ropes and cinches up a side headlock as he comes off. He hangs onto it as Aries gets back to his feet, Aries throws him off into the corner and nails him in the back. Second rope springboard elbow by Aries and a side headlock of his own on Sydal. Switch into the side headlock by Sydal, the two seperate and exchange shoulder tackles in the middle of the ring, neither able to knock the other off his feet. Trash talking now. Aries charges the ropes but gets caught with an arm drag, blocks a hip toss, but gets put into the side headlock again. He fights out into a leg scissors, but gets put back in the side headlock again after getting to his feet. Now a head scissors by Aries. The crowd is dying during this and so am I, both of these men can come up with something better. The head scissors rolls around on the mat until Aries finally rolls out via headstand, gets to his feet... AND ANOTHER SIDE HEADLOCK. Jesus f'n Cthulhu do something else. There are dueling chants right now for no good reason. Head scissors and drop kick sends Aries to the floor. Sydal charges the ropes and topes to the outside, and they knock a steel sign off the barricade in the process. THAT'S BETTER. Sydal throws Aries back in the ring, snapmare and stomp, second rope legdrop gets a two count. Aries hits a chinbreaker but Sydal nails a spinkick for another two count. Sydal with chops, Aries responds the same, but Sydal knocks him down and goes top rope. Aries recovers and knocks him off, Sydal on the apron, Aries knocks him off and dives through the bottom rope with tope crashing Sydal into the steel in a repeat of the earlier spot with a different man getting the advantage. Slingshot back into the ring into a senton, elbow drop to the chest, two count before Sydal kicks out. Another chop war breaks out. Aries drives Sydal face first to the mat, bridges a submission, does MMA knees to the forehead, another bridge, and more knees to the head. He walks around seemingly convinced Sydal is out cold, Sydal gets up, Aries does a headbutt, quick series of moves leads to a sunset flip countered by a dropkick and Sydal on the mat for 2.5. Sydal fights back to his feet with elbows, attempts a crucifix, Aries counters it and goes top rope for a BEAUTIFUL frogsplash, but it only gets 2.9. That might be one near fall too many because I can't think of any finish that would look better. Sydal is set on the second rope, Aries chops and punches him, now Aries goes up to the second rope, Sydal kicks him off and does a flying swinging DDT. Both men down. Todd Sinclair starts a ten count but both men are back up by 5, spinning kick by Sydal takes Aries off his feet, Sydal tries to whip him, gets countered, goes for a rana, something goes wrong and both men hit the mat as a brief "you fucked up" chant starts. Sydal goes for a standing moonsault and Aries gets his shoulder up one one-hundredth before 3. Sydal whipped to the corner, floats over a charging Aries, Aries floats himself back in for a series of elbows to the head, running dropkick to the face, Sydal still kicks out at the last possible iota of a second. Aries is frustrated and so am I, somebody finish this match. Aries picks him up for a brainbuster but gets countered into a Sydal driver that still doesn't finish it. Sydal goes top rope, Aries rolls out of the way, Sydal lands on his feet, Aries tries for a brainbuster again, countered, we get a bunch of cradles and roll-ups, Aries finally connects with the brainbuster, TOP ROPE 450 SPLASH and Aries finally gets the pin on his Gen Next teammate! WINNER: AUSTIN ARIES. Good finish but arguably in MHO this match was too slow at the start and too long before the end. Aries offers Sydal the handshake as he winces in pain, and Sydal starts to accept it, but there's a Briscoes run-in and both men take a beating. Roderick Strong makes the save.

Gary Michael Capetta is outside New Alhambra with the Rottweilers and Homicide, who is wearing a Jerry Lynn death metal t-shirt, and tells him that Colt Cabana issued an open challenge for anytime, any place, on the roof, it doesn't matter. Homicide: "I'm here, I'll wait for him all day, he can come to the back I'll be waiting for him. He wants to be a tough guy he can come to the streets right now. Bear witness. He can bring anybody." Julius Smokes is not having it and points to a couple of holes in the wall behind Capetta. "Guard your grill and knuckle up son. You see how vexed my man was earlier, look what he did to this wall. That's his headbutt, and that's his fist mark! You don't want it, we hate you FOREVER! We run things! Dusty Rhodes and them watched cowboy movies to measure their manhood, but we look at 50 Cent, we look at Tupac Shakur, and Biggie Smalls to measure what our manhood is about! Geah geah geah! It's our time! We take a back seat to nobody! COLT CABANA MUST DIE~!" Capetta says he understood two words in that promo: "hate" and "die." Smokes barks like a pitbull as we go back to the ring - this man has MUCH too much charisma for the world - he's a 2006 New Jack.

* Irish Airborne v. Sal Rinauro & Tony Mamaluke

Irish Airborne are making their first ever appearance in Ring of Honor on this DVD, and the announcers put them over as coming from HWA while Rinauro & Mamaluke are put over as the former tag champions. Rinauro struggles with Dave Crist, he gets a hammerlock, but Rinauro gets a snapmare and butterflies the arms and then bridges the neck. Crist almost turns it into a pinfall and then gets the wrist. Rinauro counters to his own wristlock, Crist flips off the ropes out of it, does a couple of armdrags, and grounds Rinauro to work on the left arm, Rinauro tries to push him away but that just brings Jake Crist in off a tag for a little double teaming. Knee to the face, neckbreaker by Jake, two count on Rinauro. Knees to the chest of Jake and Rinauro breaks away to tag in Mamaluke who goes for a quick two count. Jake springboards off the ropes into a side headlock takeover, tries to go for it a second time, but Mamaluke dumps him on his head for a two count. Mamaluke with knees to the head and he tags Rinauro back in, drop toe hold into a knee to the jaw off the double team. Two count. Jake reverses a whip but catches an elbow running in. Head scissors by Rinauro and a hammerlock into a cradle for 2.5. Forearm shot and another two count. Mamaluke tagged back in. Double team hip toss and an assisted hip toss into a senton for two. Mamaluke nails forearms to the chest of Crist and the fans try to applaud him back to his feet. Side headlock by Crist, off the ropes into a blind tag, Mamaluke gets caught with a springboard dropkick and Dave gets a two. He goes for a roll-up and gets 2 again. Dave with the side headlock. Jake tags in. Double teaming again and Sal Rinauro breaks up the near fall. Jake pulls Mamaluke to his feet, misses with a german suplex, series of standing switches and Rinauro gets the blind tag and comes in. Two count on Jake. Irish whip reversed, Jake charges and misses, Rinauro up and over, runs off the ropes for a moonsault and a two count. Vertical suplex countered but Rinauro still drives him to the mat for two. Mamaluke back in. Double team face plant and Dave makes the save. Dave knocked down to the floor, Jake fights off the double team, Dave goes top rope, guillotine choke by Rinauro on Jake, but Dave's still trying to get his balance on the rop rope, finds and does a foot stomp on Rinauro's head, and Jake uses the momentum to DDT Rinauro across Dave's knees. 1-2-3! WINNERS: IRISH AIRBORNE. The announcers are stunned that the former tag champions have been defeated. Jake and Dave celebrate in the ring and exchange handshakes with both men.

* Bryan Danielson {C} v. Alex Shelley (Ring of Honor World Title)

Shelley comes out to the instrumental of "Diamonds from Sierra Leone" (which is itself based on the James Bond theme song "Diamonds are Forever" exchanging high-fives with his manager Prince Nana and posing for the crowd. Danielson comes out next to "The Final Countdown" wearing his world title and the crowd is building up anticipation, clapping along to the beat before Danielson steps through the ropes at just the right moment and the music crescendoes with the words "IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN," which the whole building screams in unison. Even if you hear it a hundred times, it's still an electrifying moment, Danielson is worshipped in Ring of Honor (and should be). Nana and Shelley discuss strategy outside the ring and we have another DUELING CHANT, although the supporters for Danielson seems to be twice as loud. Danielson proves it by climbing the ropes and getting a tremendous ovation, Shelley tries the same thing and gets soundly booed even though Nana gives him a round of applause. Danielson goes to the ropes again and gets another pop but a few boos too. The New Alhambra crowd went from fans during his entrance to haters just that quick. Apparently this wasn't satisfying for B to the D: "Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second!" Before he can cut the promo the crowd is already chanting "SHUT THE FUCK UP." This is one of those times where I have to agree with Nick Marsico, the damn crowd is too busy trying to get themselves over just by chanting anything in unison. Danielson: "Are you finished, well there's a little girl in the crowd tonight, and I was hoping that the ECW Arena crowd would have enough class to respect this little girl, and not use all the foul language. Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, and then this little girl decided to flip me off with both fingers." (SHE'S HARDCORE! SHE's HARDCORE!) "You guys really want to see how hardcore she is, I will punch her right in the face! Listen here sweetheart, don't say another word, or you're gonna get a backhand just like your mother!" The misogynists pop for this big. "Wait a second, you idiots don't think Alex Shelley can fuck me up do you?" Crowd chants. "Just so you pricks know, this guy used to wrestle for a crappy company named CZW." (C-Z-W) (SUCKS!) "I heard a rumor in the back that Mr. Alex Shelley was looking forward to going back to CZW. Ladies and gentlemen, here's the deal. I already kicked the crap out of Chris Hero, so much so that he ran off to Mexico with his BUDDY Claudio. That was no reference to those two having anal sex I swear. Even though ECW Arena doesn't deserve the presence of the American Dragon, I have made it my goal to put on the greatest technical wrestling exhibition this arena has ever seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen." (Over-ra-ted! Over-ra-ted!) "Wait a second, pause it there. Now out of all the wrestlers to have ever wrestled in the building, the Dean Malenkos, the Chris Jerichos, the Eddie Guerreros God rest his soul" (Ed-die, Ed-die) "and Chris Benoit, if you people think I'm overrated, I'm the best God damn wrestler this building has ever seen!" He jumps on the ropes and screams "NOW WHO'S THE MAN!" then jumps off the railing and goes over to yell at the little girl in the crowd, who I'm guessing must have flipped him off again. (Fuck him up! Fuck him up!) Back in the ring: "That girl can't fuck me up. This prick right here can't fuck me up. Hell if every God damn person in this building hit the ring right now, including you fat man, nobody in this building could FUCK, ME, UP." Well if Danielson wanted the heat on him he's not getting all of it, because Alex Shelley still gets booed when he's introduced. Split reaction at first when Danielson is introduced, cheers and boos, then he tells the announcer to add "best technical wrestler ever in this building" and gets some more heat before he's introduced as "YOUR RING OF HONOR CHAMPION" and then gets nothing but love as a huge "DRAGON DRAGON" chant starts. The ref checks Danielson for foreign objects, takes off his ROH world title, shows it to Shelley, the two exchange respectful handshakes and this match FINALLY gets underway.

Shelley and Danielson tease locking up and break away. A test of strength is teased and Shelley yells at the crowd to "SHUT UP" instead. The two circle a third time, finally clasp hands, but Shelley breaks it off and yells "YEAH YOU MOTHERFUCKER" and points at someone in the crowd. He grabs the mic for an impromptu promo in mid match: "Ahem, excuse me pal, I don't come to McDonald's, slap the burger out of your hand, and tell you how to do your job. And that definitely goes for the street corner your buddy's on, slap the dick out of his mouth, and tell him how to do his job!" Shelley and Danielson are trying to out-heat each other, which is hilarious, because instead of getting the crowd mad gets them to pop even louder and give him a SHEL-LEY chant. "Don't patronize me you pieces of shit! If it were up to me this wouldn't be in the new Al-hahcachahcahacacla Arena, this would be the Toilet Arena, because looking around I see nothing but feces; absolutely nothing but pieces of shit. Furthermore, you're on my time, I'll wrestle how I please, not how you want me to, GET THAT STRAIGHT YOU FUCKING RETARD~!" Even the announcers say Shelley should worry less about the crowd and more about his opponent. Test of strength finally takes place and Danielson wins easily, smiling and saying "I hear he likes to talk" as he drives Shelley to his knees. Monkey flip out of the corner as Danielson maintains the knucklelock and tries to get a pin, but Shelley bridges out, so Danielson changes position and puts his weight on Shelley then braeks it off. They go to the corner and the ref makes them break clean at a four count. A "BOR-ING" chant starts. Shelley feels like cutting another promo at this: "Do I hear a boring chant, well listen here, if you think you can do better get your fat ass in the ring!!" (LET'S GO FAT GUY! LET'S GO FAT GUY!) Okay at this point screw the wrestling, this has become the Promo Comedy Hour starring Alex Shelley and Bryan Danielson. Fat guy refuses to get up. Shelley: "You know what that makes you sir, A PUSSY!" Shelley hands the mic back to a man at ringside and the match resumes.

Part two of this review will be brought to you after I return from tonight's Pro Wrestling Phoenix show, featuring the rest of Danielson v. Shelley and a three-way dance between Colt Cabana, Samoa Joe and Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels. Stay tuned!