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WrestleMania 34 Coverage by Arya Witner: Brock Beats Roman?


Date: 04/08 6:00 PM
Views: 1,006
WWE Logo Sm

Written by Arya Witner

So many matches we can't possibly list them all! Here are just a few: AJ Styles defends the world title against Shinsuke Nakamura, Brock Lesnar defends the OTHER world title against Roman Reigns, Charlotte defends the women's title against Asuka, Alexa Bliss defends the OTHER women's title against Nia Jax. Join us for live results at 4 ET! Refresh this post for the latest live updates.

Take a deep seat for the next 7 hours! It's time for my 11th show of the weekend and the 34th annual WrestleMania!

a.) Matt Hardy wins the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, last eliminating Baron Corbin

Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler and Byron Saxton did commentary for this one.

No one got a special introduction and they all came out during pre-show talk. Aiden English was the first one eliminated, by Ryder. Konnor was next, followed by Curt Hawkins. Goldust turned, again, on R-Truth and threw him out. Primo celebrated his 9th WrestleMania pre-show by lasting 3 minutes longer than the 2 seconds he lasted last year. Mike Kannellis returned to tv and got eliminated by Sin Cara.

Everyone who had the ability did the Shawn Michaels spot where you dangle on the top rope. Apollo sent Tyler Breeze flying. Viktor was thrown out. There were too many people to do much more than lean on the ropes and do the most basic of stuff. Zack Ryder went for the Broski Boot, but Mojo exploded with a Pounce and Ryder flew out of the ring. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows were the next two out.

We got a commercial here during this battle royal on the WWE Network. Someone got eliminated during the 30 second commercial.

Back from commercial and The Revival threw out Apollo and Shelton Benjamin. Rhyno was gone, but then Axel eliminated both members of The Revival and Kane eliminated both Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas. Someone got thr own out while we were looking at John Cena, sitting at ringside.Corbin threw out Heath Slater, Chad Gable was out next and Sin Cara was the one eliminated while we were looking at Cena.

Baron, Titus, Tye, Dolph, Goldust, Mojo, Matt and Kane are the last 8.

Dolph tossed Titus O'Neal and managed to not eliminate himself. Goldust gave Tye Shattered Dreams, but Goldust got backdropped out by Dolph. Matt and Tye had a contest over who could get more of the crowd chanting their catchphrase. Matt won that and then threw out Tye Dillinger. Kane eliminated Dolph and then Corbin tossed out Kane.

It's Matt Hardy and the two former winners. Mojo and Corbin formed an alliance and were about to toss Matt when Bray Wyatt appeared! Bray, last seen falling into the Lake of Reincarnation, helped Matt eliminate both Mojo Rawley and Baron Corbin! Matt Hardy wins!

Matt and Bray hugged. Unlike at the house shows, Bray did not turn on Matt.

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To reiterate something I said earlier, John Cena is sitting in the front row.

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b.) Cedric Alexander pinned Mustafa Ali in the finals of the Cruiserweight Championship Tournament to become the new Cruiserweight Champion

Drake Maverick is all decked out for his first WrestleMania. Vic Joseph and Nigel McGuinness are calling this one. The fans were kinda into it early as Alexander and Ali called to each other to show their heart and soul. Alexander got the better of their early exchanges and hit a beautiful Tope Con Hiro outside the ring. Ali got in a flurry, including rolling through the ropes and hitting an X-Factor for a near fall, but Alexander followed that up with a Spanish Fly. The match slowed down during the USA Network commercial break and whatever crowd support they had died at that point.

They fought to the top rope, took forever to set it up, but Ali leapt from one rope to the other to give a Top Rope Spanish Fly. Ali went up top for the 054, but Cedric swept his legs and sent him crashing to the floor! Alexander went to the next gear and became more aggressive, but Ali broke out a Reverse Rana and a Springboard Tornado DDT! Ali finally hit the 054....but Alexander got his foot on the ropes! Ali went for a second 054, but Alexander this time rolled out of the way.

Finally Cedric hit a series of Tornado Back Elbows, before hitting the Lumbar Check to win the match, the tournament and the Cruiserweight Championship!

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Charly Caruso interviewed John Cena in the front row. He drank a beer and shouted out the people sitting around him. He didn't have a whole lot to say and told everyone to enjoy WrestleMania.

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c.) Naomi won the Second Ever First Ever WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal, last eliminating Bayley

Lillian Garcia returned to do ring introductions. Paige and Beth Phoenix did commentary with Michael Cole and Corey Graves. Becky Lynch, Bayley and Sasha Banks were introduced and everyone else got a bulk intro during a USA Network commercial. Bianca Belair, Kairi Sane, Peyton Royce, Kevita Devi and Dakota Kai are among the NXT women.

The match started with Carmella bragging that she was Ms. Money In The Bank. Everyone then teamed up and threw her out. Dana Brooke was next to be ganged up on and eliminated. Sonya and Mandy were celebrating and that led to everyone brawling. The 6 NXT girls were left standing and led a crowd chant of NXT. Becky was offended that Devi was wearing orange and that led to another brawl and Mandy Rose got thrown out. Belair broke out a 450 Splash on Dakota Kai and Sonya Deville was tossed.

We went to a commercial selling action figures and came back in time to see Kairi Sane getting eliminated. She hit the Insane Elbow during the commercial. Lana went flying, followed by Kevita Devi. Taynara Conti was tossed and then Bianca whipped Becky with her braid. Becky was pissed, so she eliminated Bianca Belair. Sasha caught a kick by Dakota Kai and threw her out, Mickie James tossed Becky Lynch and Naomi was thrown out at some point. Ruby tossed Mickie James. Peyton Royce spin kicked everyone and then got tossed by The Riott Squad.

Riott, Liv, Sarah, Nattie, Bayley and Sasha are the last 6.

Bayley and Sasha teamed up and eliminated Natalya, Liv Morgan, Ruby Riott and Sarah Logan. Then there were two.

Sasha went for the handshake and Bayley tossed her! Bayley actually hasn't won. Naomi wasn't actually eliminated, she was just selling for almost the entire match. Naomi hit the She Calls That The Rear View and tossed Bayley for the win.

The crowd went nuts when they thought Bayley won and died when she didn't.

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Chloe and Halle, who were announced by JoJo as "The future of music" sang America The Beautiful

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1.) Seth Rollins defeated The Miz and Finn Balor to win the Intercontinental Title

Un;ess otherwise noted, the Raw crew announces the Raw matches and the SmackDown crew does the SmackDown matches. Miz sent The Miztourage backstage and Finn Balor was normal Finn and not The Demon. Balor did have about 100 members of the LGBTQ community on stage with him, all of them in the rainbow Balor Club shirts.

The match started with everyone getting 2 counts with a schoolboy. That ended with Balor clotheslining both over the top rope and doing a tope to the floor. It looked like he was coming a little short, so Seth and Finn moved in a little to catch him. Rollins used a Double Blockbuster to get a 2 count on Miz. Miz used a Cobra Clutch to wear Finn down. Miz got on the second rope, but Finn hit a kick to the head. Rollins used a Slingblade and then a pair of Suicide Dives, one to each opponent.

Rollins went for a Springboard Whatamaneuver, but Miz booted him in the head and then got the Figure Four on Balor. Rollins saved the match by nailing Miz with a Frog Splash for the nearest of near falls. They fought outside and Rollins went for the Power Bomb into the barricade on Balor, but Finn saved his career by getting out of it and then dropkicking Seth into Miz into the dasher boards. Balor hit the 1916 in the ring for another 2 count.Miz got a Buckle Bomb, Rollins then did a top rope superplex to Finn, but got hit with a Skull Crushing Finale! Rollins kicked out.

Finn kept going for the Coup de Grace, but kept being stopped on the top rope. Balor tried giving Miz a Dragon Sleeper on the top rope, but Rollins stopped it. Miz gave Seth a Skull Crushing Finale from the top rope, but Finn broke it up with a Coup de Grace. Balor hit another Coup de Grace on Miz, but before he could make the cover, Rollins hit a Curb Stomp on Finn where he drove his head into Miz. He gave Miz a normal Curb Stomp and pinned him for the win and the title.

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Another commercial for the Andre The Giant documentary aired. It premieres this Tuesday at 10 on HBO.

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2.) Charlotte Flair submitted Asuka to retain the SmackDown Women's Championship

Charlotte was brought out on a throne, led by Roman Gladiators to Also Sprach Zarathustra aka her father's theme, which transitioned into her normal theme. I should note that the loser of the second match in the last 5 WrestleMania's has been in a title match at the next pay per view. Ryback, Kane, Seth Rollins and AJ Styles were in World Title matches and Chris Jericho, last year, got a US Title Match.

An even match early as both reversed one another's moves and got near falls with roll-ups. Charlotte did the Flair Flip over the top rope, but Asuka used a Running Hip Attack, which sent Charlotte crashing shoulder-first into the barricade. Asuka was going for the Original Asuka Lock, but Charlotte dropped to her butt and it became a jaw jacker. Charlotte went for a Moonsault, but on the way down Asuka somehow turned it into a Triangle Choke, which Charlotte somehow turned into a Boston Crab, which Asuka somehow rolled through and got a 2 count on a roll up.

A few minutes later Asuka went for another hip attack against the ropes, but Charlotte moved and then used a kick to the head. They both got on the apron and Asuka used a suplex where they both fell off the apron and onto the floor! Both barely got in the ring to break the 10 count. Charlotte began yelling that she was the Queen, so Asuka wailed away at her with slaps and then used a Missile Dropkick. Both ended up back on the top rope and Charlotte hit a Spanish Fly for a 2 count!

Charlotte used Natural Selection, but Asuka turned it into a Bow and Arrow. Charlotte got out of it and used chops, a few of which slapped Asuka right in the face, which stung. Charlotte hit a Spear for a near fall. Finally Charlotte locked on the Figure 8 and ASUKA TAPPED OUT! THE STREAK IS OVER! CHARLOTTE SUBMITS ASUKA! ANOTHER STREAK SNAPS IN NEW ORLEANS!

Asuka is upset, but takes the mic and says Charlotte was ready for Asuka. Asuka is actually bleeding from the chest and began crying before congratulating Charlotte and hugging her.

No Carmella...

...A FAN HAS JUMPED THE GUARD RAIL! A referee ran down the ramp and told John Cena something, which caused Cena to hop the rail and run backstage

*********

3.) Jinder Mahal defeated Randy Orton, Bobby Roode and Rusev to win the United States Title

Rusev, in the first big move of the match, tried to do a Suicide Dive. Jinder, who was in position to take the move, decided to do something else and stopped the big man from going through with it. Orton used a top rope superplex on Roode, which you do not see too often. Jinder reminded Rusev that they were teammates once upon a time. Rusev, angered by the thought of that, assaulted the former WWE Champion. Orton gave Rusev a back suplex on the dasher boards, which stunned Shane McMahon's son in the front row. Actually the biggest part of this match is there is a security guard with a tremendous afro.

Back in the ring Rusev went for his Spinning Heel Kick, but Orton did the smartest thing possible. He ducked and let Rusev sore over his head. Aiden English interfered and took an RKO. Rusev got one and Jinder got one too, but Roode broke up the cover. Orton was given the Glorious DDT. Roode got a Machka Kick and Jinder used a small package with a handful of tights, but Rusev kicked out.

Sumil Singh interfered, Rusev superkicked him off the ring....and motherfucker. Mahal hit the Khalas on Rusev and pinned him to win the title.

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We had a Fashion Files segment with Mick Foley. Tyler Breeze was also wearing a flannel shirt and trying to put on sweat pants, but it was a Snickers commercial.

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4.) Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle defeated Triple H & Stephanie McMahon

Hunter and Steph came out on their Batcycles like last year. You know, when Seth Rollins had the bum knee and had to walk that insanely long entrance ramp, while Hunter drove a motorcycle to the ring? Ronda wore a kilt to the ring in tribute to Roddy Piper. Steph pie faced Ronda during the pre-match introductions. Then when Ronda went to her corner, Steph ran over and yanked Ronda down by the ponytail before running away. The bell rang and the men started.

Noted was The Authority told the referee to remember who signs his paycheck. Hunter distracted the referee, so first Steph pulled down the top rope, which made Kurt fall outside and then she smashed his head off the ring steps. There was nothing wrong with Hunter and Kurt, just that no one was excited to watch them.

Steph began choking Angle in the corner. Hunter went for a punch, but Angle moved and Hunter almost hit his wife like last year. Angle suplexed Hunter and crawled towards the corner, but Steph ran around the ring to yank Ronda off the apron. Finally Angle made the hot tag! Ronda flew across the ring and yanked Steph into the ring before wailing away on her foe. Ronda with suplexes and Beale tosses and punch after punch. Ronda gave Steph a T-Bone Suplex that Steph has never taken in her life, so it looked a little wacky.

Ronda went for the armbar, but Steph was able to lock her hands and stop it. Just think about all the fighters who couldn't stop that. Steph went reaching for the tag, but Hunter was still down and out. Steph was suddenly motivated and took over on offense. Steph's offense consisted of boots. Finally Ronda got tired of it and hit a swinging slam for what would have been the finish, but Hunter yanked the referee out of the ring. Hunter than tripped Ronda and yanked her out of the ring, causing her to bounce off the mats.

Angle took exception to this and attacked Hunter. They ended up on the American announce table, but Hunter just flung Angle onto and over the Spanish table. Hunter got back in the ring to check on Steph and Ronda got up and wanted some of Hunter. The ref tried to stop it, but HHH told him to back off. There were a lot of strikes and slams and Hunter performed none of them. Ronda had Hunter up for the same slam she gave Steph, but Steph returned and slapped Ronda. Steph then went running, so Ronda chased her and shoved her into the dasher boards. Steph then shoved Ronda into the ring post outside the ring. Inside the ring Angle was back.

Angle suplexed Hunter over and over. Hunter went for the Pedigree over and over, but Angle catapulted Hunter into the corner and hit the Angle Slam! Angle made the cover...but Hunter kicked out. Angle went for the Ankle Lock, but Steph ran in to stop it. Steph tried to kick Angle, but Kurt caught her foot and turned it into an Ankle Lock. Hunter came in, hit the Pedigree and....no! Ronda breaks it up! Hunter went to give Ronda a Power Bomb, but Ronda hit a Hurricarana and turned it into an armbar on Hunter! Steph came from behind and locked on a Rear Naked Choke, but Ronda rolled through and got on the armbar. At the same time Angle put Hunter in the Ankle Lock...however Hunter rolled through and sent Kurt flying into Ronda.

Both babyfaces go into the ring post and The Authority goes for stereo Pedigrees, but Angle and Ronda get out of them. Ronda finally breaks Steph's grip and yanks back on the armbar for the submission!

UFC President Dana White was shown cheering at ringside as Kurt and Ronda pick up the win!

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5.) Bludgeon Brothers defeated The Uso's and The New Day to win the SmackDown Tag Team Titles

Hour #5 of WrestleMania began with Woods using his trombone to bring midgets dressed as stacks of pancakes out to throw pancakes to the crowd during their entrance. Some of the midgets began doing the Worm outside the ring.

6 seconds in Rowan was in his longest WrestleMania match and Kofi tried to end it with a Trouble In Paradise on Jey, but it got broken up. Harper and Rowan destroyed Kofi, Big E and Jimmy outside the ring and then glared down Xavier. Xavier, who had a tremendous afro of his own, tried to attack Harper and Rowan, but he got a power bomb into the ring post for his troubles.

Rowan picked Jey up in the ring and just threw him out of it. Jimmy and Jey got a fire lit as they ran wild temporatily, including using a Superfly Splash on Harper. Minutes later both Uso's went for Suicide Dives to Roawn, but they both got caught. It's alright because Jimmy and Jey used a double suplex on the floor. New Day went for Midnight Hour, but Harper stopped it. Jimmy and Jey were on the top for a double superplex. Big E came over for a stacked up superplex, but Rowan ran into the corner with a splash, sending both Uso's flying out of the ring. Finally Harper gave Kofi a Sit Out Super Bomb for the win in dominating fashion.

Well at least the Uso's got more offense in their WrestleMania debut than Daniel Bryan did.

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They re-aired the same Coming To WWE Network commercial they did at the Hall of Fame. Noticably they edited out the 2 second clip of Jeff Hardy in TNA.

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Hey, remember when that fan jumped the guardrail and ran backstage? Well that fan turned out to be John Cena and he's here to wrestle. Who is he wrestling?

A second referee ran down to explain things to Cena, who looked concerned...and then the lights went out....BUT IT WAS ELIAS! One of the referee's did the most epic eyeroll ever on television when he held Cena back. Elias said that the Somebody Else people were expected doesn't have his unmatched athleticism and charisma and unlimited talent that he carries in his soul. Cena said screw it and returned to his seat in the front row.

Elias sang his song about how John Cena and all the fans suck. A FAN HAS JUMPED THE GUARDRAIL AGAIN! Cena ran in and beat the Hell out of The Drifter, polishing him off with the AA. Cena's music played and he mouthed "What the fuck" and began leaving...when suddenly his music stopped and the lights went out again.

A spotlight went on in the ring and it was Undertaker's hat and coat he left in the ring at last year's WrestleMania. Lightning bolts hit them and they disappeared. The lights went out a third time and the GONG SOUNDED!

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6.) The Undertaker pinned John Cena in 3 minutes

Undertaker was on fire at the start, going after Cena right away. Taker hit all of his set up moves. Old School, Snake Eyes, the running boot. He went for a chokeslam, but Cena did his twisting back suplex and went for a Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Taker sat up!

Undertaker hit a huge chokeslam and a Tombstone to put Cena away! UNDERTAKER HAS SQUASHED JOHN CENA AT WRESTLEMANIA!

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Hall of Fame time. They managed to edit a 4 1/2 hour ceremony into a 2 minute video package. Hillbilly Jim went from 40 minutes to 4 seconds. Kid Rock's part of this highlight package was twice as long, even though his speach was 1/8 the length.

JoJo introduced them, which is a crime. It should always be The Fink. Goldberg got the special entrance and honestly I think Jarius Robertson's reaction was larger than everyone's, even though Goldberg actually got the Goldberg entrance with pyro and everything.

*********

7.) Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon defeated Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn, so Owens & Zayn remained fired

Bryan got a video package with all the teams and celebrities over the years who did the YES chants. Bryan got the biggest reaction of the show so far with the entire crowd chanting YES! Just like Johnny Gargano at TakeOver last night, despite not being employed by the company, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn had ring music and entrances. Of course they ran in through the crowd and attacked them from behind before the match actually began. Zayn threw Shane over the dasher boards and into the front row near their children. Owens then gave Bryan the Pop Up Power Bomb onto the ring apron. Shane and Charles Robinson called for the medics to come help. Owens screamed that Shane made him do that.

Shane got in the ring and rang the bell to start what is basically a Handicap Match. Shane's punches have never gotten better and Sami took them all like a champ. He actually did a Steve Blackman-esque Pump Kick. Shockingly Steve Blackman did it better. A stretcher was brought to ringside to take out Bryan as Zayn just charged his full body weight into Shane as an offensive move, which worked. Owens taunted Bryan while Team Sami & Kevin worked over Shane.

Shane kicked out of a Blue Thunder Bomb and was exhausted, reaching for the tag. Shane moved out of the way of a Helluva Kick and mounted a flurry of offense. Shane trapped Sami in the Tree of Woe and actually did a Van Terminator (no trash can or chair). Shane sold his hernia and couldn't make the cover. That's a phrase I've never said before.

Anyway Owens took over, hit a Frog Splash for the 1.....the 2......and suddenly Daniel Bryan was back! Bryan broke it up and returned to the corner to wait for a tag. After even more of a beating Shane finally was able to make the tag to Bryan. Bryan, in his first official in-ring action, looked like he didn't miss a step. He ran wild on both men, including running down the ring apron with a running knee to Owens outside and a Missile Dropkick to Zayn. Bryan did his running corner dropkicks and a Frankensteiner to Zayn. Bryan went for the running knee, but Owens grabbed his foot and Zayn hit the Helluva Kick for a nearfall.

Owens got in and hit a Pop Up Power Bomb for another near fall. Shane got back in, throwing Owens out of the ring and doing a tope over the top onto him. Bryan slapped down Zayn and then did the It Kicks....excuse me, the Yes Kicks. Finally Bryan hit the Busaiku Knee and locked on the Yes Lock for the tap out!

Daniel Bryan has returned and has won at WrestleMania! Bryan wins his 5th straight WrestleMania match and Shane wins his first WrestleMania match in 17 years. Brie was in the first row and Bryan went over and kissed her in celebration. As opposed to kissing her in anger, I guess?

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78,133 is the fake attendance number.

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8.) Nia Jax pinned Alexa Bliss to win the Raw Women's Championship

Happy Birthday to my co-worker, Dave, who was perhaps the first Nia Jax fan.

Alexa brought Mickie to ringside, so Nia destroyed Mickie before the match even began. Alexa was in tears, begging Nia to not kill her to death. Nia destroyed Alexa from the bell and press slammed her down. Alexa rolled to the outside and tried to run away and retain via countout. Unfortunately for her, she didn't run fast enough.

They got back in the ring and Alexa took over with the rake of the eyes. Alexa got her down and at one point stood on her back. At that point she was almost 5 feet tall. She tried a Guillotine, but Nia suplexed her. However Nia speared the ring post and fell outside the ring. Alexa did a Twisted Bliss to the floor to Nia, which looked much better than when she did it to Sasha at Elimination Chamber.

Alexa hit a DDT that Nia almost forgot to kick out of. Alexa screamed that Nia was nothing without her, so Nia grabbed her by the throat, told her to shut up and took over. Alexa tried a sunset flip, but Nia caught her and gave her an Alabama Slam into the corner. Alexa went after the eyes a couple more times, but got hit with another Alabama Slam. Nia screamed that she loved Alexa before carrying her to the middle rope and falling backwards with a Samoan Drop for the win!

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9.) AJ Styles pinned Shinsuke Nakamura to retain the WWE Championship

Featuring the only video package in WrestleMania history with both me and Christopher Daniels in it. You see a splut second shot of me and a picture of Daniels celebrating with AJ when AJ won the TNA Title, Nakamura had one of those Weird WWE Musical Entrances where they played his theme music over the loud speaker, but also had a live band playing with it. Having one makes the other useless. Actually the guitar player was Nita Strauss, who was in attendance for TakeOver yesterday.

AJ Styles' graphic listed him as the Universal Champion. I bet Brock is surprised to know this. AJ had a cool little laser show as he stood in the ring. The match started slow and Nakamura played his games with AJ. AJ doesn't like playing games, so he slapped Nakamura. Nakamura showed AJ that he likes playing games by wailing away with fists and kicks. He went for Good Vibrations, but got dropped by a knee to the face.

Tom Phillips said the reason AJ created the Phenomenal Forearm was because when AJ was in Japan "at the time, closed fists were illegal". Someone should tell Tom many things, not the least of which is closed fists have always been illegal and, technically, still are. While I ranted about Tom Phillips, AJ grounded Nakamura and locked on a chinlock. Nakamura got out of it and they wound up outside the ring, where Nakamura kicked AJ's leg, causing him to crash on the ring apron, which is the hardest part of the ring. Nakamura used his kick from the middle rope and several more big strikes until AJ blocked a reverse Exploder and dropped the challenger face-first into the mat. AJ used a sliding forearm for a 2 count. He probably did that because closed fist punches were illegal in Japan when he wrestled there. Okay I will save that joke for another day.

AJ used a great gut buster and went for both a Styles Clash and a Phenomenal Forearm, but both times Nakamura stopped them. When he went for the Forearm, Nakamura gave him a Landslide instead for a 2 count. Nakamura went for a superplex, which Corey sold as something that could have ended the match. Mind you we've seen 3 of them tonight and none of them ended the match. Anyway AJ slipped underneath and hurt Nakamura's knee with a low kick. They rolled through and AJ locked on the Calf Crusher! Nakamura rolled through that into a Triangle. AJ tried to turn it into a power bomb, but Nakamura yanked his leg to stop it the first time. The second time he turned it into a nasty Michinoku Driver.

AJ's back was hurt, which caused him to take the Lord's name in vein. Wow. On a Sunday too. Well he hit a Phenomenal Forearm for a 2 count. AJ went for a Springboard 450, but Nakamura got his knees up! AJ better ask God for forgiveness, because his luck has gone out the window since that. The crowd came alive as the two stood face to face and threw forearm after forearm at each other's jaw. AJ hit the Pele Kick, but Nakamura hit a knee to the back of his head! Shin made the cover, but AJ kicked out! Nakamura is rolling. He went for the Kinshasa, but AJ rolled through the knee, into a Styles Clash for the pin! AJ Styles has pinned Shinsuke Nakamura at WrestleMania!

Both Royal Rumble winners go down in defeat! I don't think anyone saw this happening.

After the match AJ and Nakamura hug it out before Nakamura takes a knee and presents AJ with the title...AND NAKAMURA TURNS HEEL! NAKAMURA WITH AN UPPERCUT TO THE BALLS! The crowd explodes as Nakamura lays in the boots and kicks AJ out of the ring! Nakamura kicks AJ in the face one more time before backing up and knocking him out with a Kinshasa!

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10.) Braun Strowman & Nicholas defeated The Bar to win the Raw Tag Team Championship

The Bar came out on a Mardi Gras float, possibly with all of Adam Rose's pals from The Exotic Express. Corey asked for a drink. Braun came out and his screaming sent all of the Mardi Gras characters scurrying and then shoved the float to the floor. Braun introduced his partner and said it would be a fan at ringside. Where the Hell is John Cena when you need him? He did actually begin by staring at Cena's front row seat, perhaps saddened that Cena wasn't there anymore.

He found a small child, who may be a girl, to be his partner. The child's name is Nicholas, so that solves that question. Braun told him to stand on the apron and Nicholas couldn't keep a straight face. They literally were chanting for Nicholas as Braun destroyed both opponents. Cesaro with a low dropkick took over on Strowman. I cannot wait for the hot tag.

The Bar used a double suplex, as Nicholas became one of the top babyfaces on the show, with the crowd chanting for him. Cesaro and Sheamus put the boots to him. Strowman came back and hit a diving crossbody to both men and then backdropped Sheamus over the post to the floor. Braun made the hot tag.

Braun Strowman made the hot tag to Nicholas, a 10 year old boy. He stared down Cesaro and then tagged back out. Strowman hit the powerslam and made the pin.

Well. Rene Dupree is no longer the youngest champion in WWE history.

*********

WrestleMania 35 aka The Statue Of WrestleMania is April 7, 2019 in MetLife Stadium.

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11.) Brock Lesnar pinned Roman Reigns to retain the Universal Title. No, really.

Shockingly Roman was booed. Brock got a little bit of a negative reaction, but not overwhelming.

Brock muscled Roman into the corner, Roman got out, but Brock hit a German Suplex....and a second....and a third. Roman hit a Superman Punch...and a second....and a third....and a fourth outside the ring. He went for a fifth outside the ring, but Brock caught him and threw him with an overhead belly to belly suplex and a second one, which Roman almost landed on his head. Brock grabbed him in a waist lock and drove him face--first into the announce table.

That was the first 3 minutes of the match. Roman got a 4th German Suplex and another belly to belly overhead suplex. Brock continued to beat on him outside the ring and cleared off the German announce table. I think Brock is trying to help the cleanup crew. Roman shoved Brock head-first into the ring post and then, taking a running start, speared Brock over the announce table. He somehow screwed up Cole's headset and suddenly Michael Cole's commentary was being broadcast across the arena for a few seconds.

He hit another Superman Punch and 2 Spears in the ring and Brock became the first person in almost a year to kick out of the Spear. Because the announcers have done nothing to get this over, no one seemed to care. Roman went for a 3rd Spear, but Brock kneed him in the face! Roman found his nose, put it back on and kicked out.

Brock hit the F-5, which no one has kicked out of in 18 months, but no one has mentioned, and Roman kicked out to no reaction. Brock hit a second F-5 and Roman, again, kicked out. Brock began flipping out. Brock hits a third F-5 and again, Roman kicks out. Brock called him a motherfucker, which got muted. Brock took him outside and gave Roman a 4th F-5, this time through the German announce table.

Happy Monday! It is Midnight on the east coast!

Brock hit another German Suplex in the ring and a 5th F-5. Roman, once again, kicked out. The fans, who have been reacting really weirdly, booed. Brock took off his gloves and somewhere Randy Orton winced. For the second fucking time, Brock Lesnar, who failed TWO drug tests the last time he was legit tested, was allowed to elbow someone in the head as hard as he could, to bust him open.

Blood is cascading down the head of Roman, which freaked him out. Roman hit two Spears, which Brock kicked out of. Brock hit a 6th F-5 for the surprising pin.

That was unexpected. I am more disgusted by the fact that Vince had Brock elbow someone in the fucking face, yet again.

After the post-show video packages they ended the show with Sad Roman, looking very sad, as he walking to the back sadly.

So that does it from WrestleMania. Thank you all for following along on this 7 hour, 5 minute journey. I'll see you next year in New York!

 

...

Brock Lesnar



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