Another in our weekly series of reviews covering RING OF HONOR DEE-VEE-DEEZ! For more information visit www.ROHWrestling.com and don't forget to buy a few DVD's of your own while there. My apologies that this review comes a day later than usual but I got tied up recording a podcast with www.RocketbustaRadio.com which should be available later tonight (look for Episode 96). Shout out to Nick Marsico from RBR who will be at ROH's Respect is Earned taping tonight at the Manhattan Center, which is part of the reason RBR was pre-taped for www.RadioTGO.com (the show is normally live on Saturdays at 8 PM EST). This week we'll be covering Final Battle from December 28th, 2002 - the last ROH show from their first year in operation. Incidentally the cover of my DVD looks only vaguely like the "Remastered" one shown above, but it doesn't appear to be from the shitty Takedown Masters series either.
The show opens with CM Punk and Colt Cabana having an argument in the car as they drive to the show, following up on events from the previous ROH show Night of the Butcher. Cabana promises he and Punk are going to steal the show tonight and says "I don't like to toot my own horn but beep beep" and puts over how awesome his wrestling was the last time they faced off. He promises a Colt 45, a Class Act, some moonsaults and backbreakers. Punk turns to "Ace" (presumably Ace Steel) and asks him to turn the camera off while he's driving. Ace says heck no we're going to go on Springer with this! Punk tells Cabana to shut up and give him directions. Cabana says you know where you're going keep on driving since I'm more of a passenger guy anyway besides the fact after tonight I'll be flying first class; airline tickets being the winner's prize stipulation made on Night of the Butcher. Cabana marks out for the flight attendants on America Airlines and even for the little bags of peanuts, it's friggin' hilarious! An exasperated Punk gets out and starts cutting a promo in Cabana in the parking lot, saying 13 hours in the car with him is like going to the dentist, take the damn keys because you'll be the one driving home and not me. Cue the opening video package showcasing all the wrestlers on the card, including a very young looking Jay Lethal pre-Black Machismo.
Gary Michael Capetta is backstage with Steve Corino a.k.a. the King of Old School. Capetta puts over Corino as having a very high opinion of himself, thinking he's the best performer in all of ROH. For his part Corino stands there wearing a leather jacket and tie looking smug, confirming every word with the expression on his face. Corino: "For a man who's been in the wrestling business 25 years, you apparently haven't down your homework, because the nickname King of Old School was given to me by a wrestling promotion that put me 32 thousand dollars in debt." Ouch. Corino: "The King of Old School was a gimmick to get me over. I don't need to be over with the people in Ring of Honor. I bled, I sweat, I got my ass handed to me day in and out for your enjoyment. What did it get me, a reposessed car. Where were you people when I needed you the most - it was okay when I was entertaining you, but when I needed you to support me WHERE WERE YOU!!" Corino screams at the internet for blasting Steve Corino and says he doesn't give a damn about tape traders or fans in Philadelphia. Corino promises 2003 will be a rebirth, because in Japan he learned to be a true professional wrestler, and that he'll prove he's the best by winning every single title that Ring of Honor has, including the tag titles. Allison Danger interrupts the interview and says she has "a message from home" to intentionally break kayfabe (they're real life brother and sister). Naturally Corino starts heeling on her too, telling her to get her own interview time and not try to be a star during his.
Next we get a series of clips that are from the "ROH High Impact TV Taping." First of all I've never seen any of these TV shows but I presume they are either for local stations in the tri-state area or that www.ROHVideos.com eventually put them on the net for free. It's a little depressing seeing clips knowing you could be watching full length quality matches particularly since if you follow the indies, ROH, TNA or all of the above you'll know almost every name shown. In fact the very first TV taping match is Jay Lethal v. Homicide - how fucked up is that? It's TNA five years ahead of its time. Homicide wins with the Cop Killer/Gringo Killer. Time for our opening match!
* CM Punk v. Colt Cabana (first class airfare on the line)
Cabana and Punk exchange a handshake to start, even though Punk is looking at Cabana warily. Apparently this DVD match is edited for time because the video pixellates out and comes back in to Punk giving Cabana a springboard senton for a two count. Punk goes top rope with Cabana's wrist and does the Old School before Cabana kicks him off and he gets crotched. Cabana goes on offense with punches and chops. Front face slam into a reverse surfboard. Cabana mocks Punk after letting go and says next month he'll be flying to Philly. Cabana whips him to the corner but misses on the splash. Punk tries to comeback with a crossbody but Cabana shoulder tacklers him into the corner then whips him to set up a short-arm lariat. Cabana tries to yank him out of the corner but Punk rolls through for a near fall. Cabana turns a suplex into a power bomb for his own near fall. The crowd's hot and claps with approval as they break into a war of chops. Punk snaps Cabana's neck off the ropes, pulls him out to the floor, goes back in the ring and hits a topei to the guardrail fencing. The announcers put over Punk's straightedge lifestyle. Punk goes top rope, Cabana catches him and nails a reverse superplex. 1-2-no!! Cabana goes top, Punk catches him, belly to belly suplex! Ref starts 10 count. Cabana up first but misses with a lariat. Punk puts him in an airplane spin, drops him, hits a split-legged moonsault and gets 2. Running knee by Punk. Pepsi Plunge blocked. Suplex countered. Shining wizard by Punk! 1-2-no!! Punk with the facewash boot on Cabana from one corner of the ring to the opposite. Top the top rope, Cabana comes up to cut him off, Punk hooks both arms for the Pepsi Plunge and nails it for 1-2-3! WINNER OF THE MATCH AND THE PLANE TIX: CM PUNK. That's right Cabana, "CM Punk is better than you!" He smiles and laughs for the camera, showing off his taped X wrists, and leading the crowd in a CM Punk chant.
Afterwards Homicide has some promo backstage with two guys I don't know referencing some match I haven't seen so let's just move on. Next we have Capetta in the ring saying he wants to bring out one of the most controversial figures in ROH, the leader of the Prophecy and the man who controls all of their titles, the Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels. Daniels' music hits and he's accompanied to the ring by Simply Luscious. Daniels fakes shaking Capetta's hand and takes the mic for a promo. Instead of a word for word here's the gist - Daniels has a bone to pick with Alexis Laree for attacking Simply Luscious at Night of the Butcher. Luscious takes the mic and says if you're not scared come face me. Our girl Mickie James hits the ring and Daniels starts cutting a promo on her, saying if she's a woman of honor accept a match for March 22nd with Luscious. James/Laree says we don't have to wait, let's do it now! Daniels says that's fine by him and Luscious jumps Laree from behind.
* Simply Luscious v. Alexis Laree
I didn't hear a bell ring but it's on like Donkey Kong anyway. Luscious starts stomping her down and keeps slamming her face into the canvas. The referee finally rings the bell. Luscious pulls Laree back to her feet, throws her off for a clothesline, Laree ducks and hits a spear! Now Laree slams Luscious' head to the canvas. Luscious complains to the ref about a finger to the eye and while he's checking on her Daniels runs in and nails Laree with the Last Rites. Luscious comes over to make the pin and it's over just that quick. WINNER: SIMPLY LUSCIOUS. Daniels raises her hand while two referees check on Laree, and the announcers complain that this is a new low even for the Fallen Angel.
As Laree is helped to the back Steve Corino comes to the ring and tells the Prophecy not to leave, saying he's out here to handle some business, it's nothing personal. Corino heels on the crowd, saying he was so poor he had to dress like these fans, until he went to Japan and made more money than Paul Heyman owes him. The crowd starts applauding and Corino says screw your applause, none of you did anything to help me. Corino says from this day forward The Prophecy is on notice and that Corino is forming an elite group for 2003 to take every title they have. "And Luscious, I can't have you telling Christopher Daniels all of our secrets. So as of tonight, it's over!" Luscious leaves in tears and Daniels bows up to Corino. "It's not personal Daniels, it's just business. You want to start the war well throw the first punch." Crowd starts chanting for Daniels and he tells them to STFU, he doesn't need their support, and tells Corino he should throw the first punch. Corino rips off his leather jacket. Daniels says screw you I've got tag titles to worry about, I'll deal with you later, and jumps out of the ring. The crowd starts chanting they suck dick, Corino says that shows their class, so then they up the ante by chanting "YOU'RE A JOBBER!" Corino says you fans think you're smart to the business, no way you're not. "ASS-HOLE!" Corino goes on. "NOBODY CARES!" Corino goes on. "OLD SCHOOL SUCKS!" It's the Never-Ending Pro-MOHHHHHHHHHHHHH, ah-ah-ahhh ah-ah-ahh ah-ah-ahh.
THANK CTHULHU FOR HOMICIDE. Homicide hits the ring with a fork and gets ready to nail Corino with it but Old School slides out under the ropes to get away, calls him a piee of shit, takes his leather jacket and leaves. Next we get a Dunn & Marcos promo that they're going to defeat Donovan Morgan & Christopher Daniels tonight during the TV taping. They're right - we go to the black & white High Impact footage, which shows the ROH Tag Champions easily handing the Ring Crew Express their asses, even doing double finishers for a double pin. Da Hit Squad cut a promo afterwards about wanting to beat up a tag team called the Backseat Boys. Is that Christopher Street Connection part deux? Curiously Monsta Mack is wearing a "Haas of Pain" baseball cap.
* Special K (Deranged & Angel Dust) v. Backseat Boyz v. Da Hit Squad (Scramble Match)
Okay the Backseat Boyz don't appear to be gay like CSC, in fact their gimmick seems to be that they are ladies men, even posing with the crowd so cute chicas can kiss them on the cheeks. Special K refuse to shake hands with DHS but BSB have no such issues. Mafia pumps up the crowd and circles the ring with BSB member Trent Acid. Wait - I know the name Trent Acid - this guy is like an indie wrestler FO' LIFE. I don't think he's ever even had a tryout match with TNA or WWE; I'm not sure whether they're not interested or he's not interested but regardless Acid's been just about everywhere on the indie circuit you can go. We don't even see one move from Acid before Deranged bling tags in on Mafia. Deranged tries to start the chant L-S-D but nobody cares. Acid tries to offer Deranged a handshake. Deranged offers him a middle finger instead so Acid slaps him in the face. Acid with a series of kicks on Deranged ending with a dropkick to the face. Johnny Kashmere and Angel Dust both tag in. AD seems confused. Kashmere leapfrogs AD, AD falls down, Kashmere picks him up and throws him off for a spear. Mafia comes in and nails a modified dragon suplex on AD and the crowd goes nuts. AD put in the tree of woe, Deranged comes in for a save but gets a big boot and then gets suplex into his own partner. Now both members of BSB and DHS are in the ring. DHS pick them up and slam them into each other, then stack them up like cordwood off powerbombs. SK come back in and kick DHS into each other. AD with a moonsault to the floor and there's a clusterfuck outside the ring. Deranged does a springboard twist off the top rope onto the pile. Brawl continues outside. Jay Lethal a.k.a. Hydro (his new gimmick, apparently from joining Special K) does a run-in so Monsta Mack picks him up and powerbombs him onto the pile outside the ring. BSB get in the ring, charge the ropes and do a double flip onto the pile. Now it's Mafia's turn and he does a suicide dive through the ropes.
BSB get back in the ring. Deranged jumps on the apron for a springboard, BSB catch him and give him the old upsy-daisy that Spirit Squad used to do. Two count before AD makes the save. AD gets double teamed into a camel clutch dropkick. 1-2-no!! Special K member Yayo trips BSB from the outside. Deranged is backflipped onto JK. SK beatdown Monsta Mack 2-on-1 but Mack picks up Deranged in a military press, tosses him to AD, and Mafia hits them BOTH with a german suplex - wow. Mafia locks in a figure four and Monsta Mack leapfrogs onto him but the 3-count is broken up. Superkick on Mack up TA. Mack nails him with a lariat. 2 count, Deranged breaks it up. Deranged is thrown off the top rope, Mafia calls for the Burning Hammer, about 20 members of Special K hit the ring to interfere and Mack ends up pinned. WINNERS: SPECIAL K. This could have been a good Scramble Match but the finish was just way too much. Afterwards Ace Steel and Jay Briscoe have a clipped TV taping match that Briscoe wins with the J-Driller.
* Christopher Daniels & Donovan Morgan {C} v. SAT (ROH Tag Titles, 2 out of 3 falls)
Since this is lucha libre style and the third fall is going to determine the winner, I'm skipping ahead to save a little time. Best spot of the first fall - Donovan Morgan is put on top of Daniels in a Boston crab while Daniels is put in a camel clutch. It's not the finish though as Daniels and Morgan hit Jose Maximo with their double team move called Revelations to go up 1-0 at about 15 minutes in. Second fall you know SAT is going to win to tie it up but the heels beat them up for a long time to make you think they'll lose two straight. Eventually SAT hit the Spanish Fly on Christopher Daniels (double team suplex off the top rope) to even the score. Now for the third and final fall. Daniels is on the ground being given a ten count, SAT try to steal the win and Morgan makes the save. Morgan gets DDT'd on the apron and falls to the floor. Jose tries to clear the ropes to nail him on the apron but lands on his butt hard on the apron. Joel tries to cover Morgan in the ring for two. Morgan blocks the Maximo Explosion and hits a Golden Gate Swing for 2. Fisherman buster by Maximo for two. Frogsplash by Jose for 2. Morgan hits a kick to the face and tags in Daniels. Daniels with a knee to the gut and the Angel's Wings, 2 count only as Joel makes the save. Daniels shot off the ropes, he hits a jawbreaker and a scoop slam, misses with a double jump moonsault out of the corner, Maximo Explosion on Daniels only gets two. Morgan comes in with or withut a tag, goes top rope, Joel catches him and Jose goes up for the spinning DDT but gets caught by Morgan and hit with a spinebuster for 2. Dropkick on Morgan. STO by Daniels. Daniels ducks a clothesline and hits the Last Rites on Joel and gets the 1-2-3. WINNERS AND STILL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE PROPHECY. Afterwards we get another TV taping match where Samoa Joe beats up the Outcast Killaz with ease even though they have the 2-on-1 advantage. This was part of how they made Joe a monster in ROH and the crowd was already into him at this point, chanting "JOE! JOE! JOE!" He would only get bigger and badder, figuratively and literally. Special K find Jody Fleisch backstage and invite him to come party with them.
* Carnage Crew (Loc & DeVito) v. Christopher Street Connection
This is about what you'd expect when one team is a pair of brawlers and the other is a pair of fruitbooties. Even ROH doesn't think this is important because it's only shown in clips on the DVD. We get the usual comedy spots with CSC planting kisses on people before Carnage Crew start nailing them with hubcaps and weapons. WINNERS BY DQ: CHRISTOPHER STREET CONNECTION. Meltzer wouldn't even give this a half star but maybe they can build a storyline out of it. Moving on! Homicide cuts a promo backstage about facing Samoa Joe, American Dragon and Low-Ki, saying it's all on the line for him tonight. He says he's a single parent, a struggling pro wrestler, and a guy with too many scars on his face to get a regular job not to mention he can't fly to Japan because he's on probation and his P.O. would violate him for it. Is it any wonder ROH fans accepted Homicide as a babyface, even when he at times acted like a total prick? "Somebody gets in my way, I feel sorry for you. You're looking at the Notorious 1-8-7, a.k.a. the King of Strong Style."
* Jody Fleisch v. The Amazing Red
It definitely feels like they're cutting some of these matches short because the 2 out of 3 falls tag match and the Scramble Madness both went long. Maybe somebody booking should have made one of those matches go home early, because Fleisch flew in all the way from the UK and at this point Amazing Red was still amazing and not the shadow of his former self he'd become due to knee problems. Everything builds until the last minute when Fleisch's friends in Special K came to ringside - not these motherfuckers again. Amazing Red puts Fleisch into an inverted Styles Clash and gets a two count. Red goes up top to hit the Infra-Red but Special K pull Fleisch out of the ring for the save. Fleisch gets to the ropes and goes up to hit Red with a springboard 720 DDT - HOLY SHIT. 1-2-3. WINNER: JODY FLEISCH. I enjoyed the ending but they could and should have done so much more with Fleisch after going to that much trouble. The Special K gimmick is really getting on my nerves, and I know that it's supposed to, but the Code of Honor gimmick is being ruined in the process since nobody is kicking SK out for all their interference and run-ins.
We'll be back a little bit later tonight with part two of this review for the two co-main events of Final Battle 2002!