| Date: 07/15 | 6:22 PM |
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TNA Pre-Show:
We're backstage with Jeremy Borash and Leticia. They're running down the Victory Road card and throw to footage of Chris Harris discussing his history in TNA. It looks like the same footage from this Thursday's Impact but hey I can't complain - it was a good video package then and still is now. "I told myself I've been put in this spot for a reason, I didn't walk away with a world title, but I walked away with four other people noticing me. Tonight win lose or draw they're going to know Chris Harris has arrived." Christian Cage responds. "A champion isn't measured by hanging a belt on a hook. A true champion is measured by every time he steps in the ring - talent, guts, charisma. Chris Harris, I haven't forgotten about you. I'm going to make you famous!"
We throw back to J.B. and Leticia, saying Christian Cage shouldn't look past Harris and forget Abyss still wants revenge for the brutal beating he received. J.B. reminds us that whenever Abyss is in need, Sting comes to his aid, and we throw to a video package of Sting talking about how they have something in common - they hide their identities. We see Abyss wearing the face paint again and then cutting his promo from this past Thursday: "TOMKO, STYLES, THREE DAYS. CLICK - DOOMSDAY!!!!" Oddly enough this may be the match on tonight's show I'm looking forward to most. Come to think of it that's not so odd - Styles is Phenomenal, Tomko's a great brawler, Abyss is my favorite gimmick wrestler in TNA and well... then there's the Bible Thumper but at least he's a ring veteran and keeps himself in good shape. Once in a while, he even has a good match.
* Ultimate X Qualifier: Petey Williams v. Jerry Lynn v. Senshi
Finally, a free match before a TNA PPV! Been a long time since we've gotten one of these. Of course this is the same match that aired last night on "Road to Victory Road" but I'm perfectly cool with that. Senshi comes out on fire but Lynn armdrags both him and Williams. Double leapfrog over Lynn followed by Senshi cleaning Williams' clock with a clothesline. Jerry reverses Senshi into a tilt-a-whirl and sends him flying, charges Williams, Williams gets the boots up but Lynn responds with a backbreaker and a 2 count. Senshi gets back in the mix and kicks Williams down to the ground before striking a pose. In turn Lynn strikes him in the face. Senshi ducks a clothesline and springs off the middle rope to kick Lynn in the head. Williams nails Senshi with a suplex and goes behind for a chinlock. Lynn tries to kick him, Williams catches the foot, picks him up and puts him in the Tree of Woe. Sweet - we get the old Team Canada spot where he sings "O CANADA" while standing on his opponent.
Senshi goes for a cartwheel, Lynn catches him, Senshi hits elbows but missles with the double stomp. Williams charges in and Lynn clears them both out. Lynn throws Senshi from one corner to the other, Senshi hits chops, Williams with knees to the face and Lynn hits Senshi with a German suplex for 2. Lynn tries to sunset flip Williams to the ground but instead gets a legdrop on the apron. Williams knocks down Senshi and slingshots over the ropes to take Lynn down then charges over to dropkick Senshi in the back. Senshi catches him coming in and rolls through for another near fall. Senshi with a running kick to the head, Williams goes for a Canadian destroyer, Lynn blocks it and tries to hit a cradle piledriver, Senshi dropkicks Lynn in the chest. Senshi goes top rope, Williams cuts him off, Lynn gives Williams a legdrop of his own. Lynn to the top rope but Williams dropkicks him in the back and goes for the Canadian destroyer, but Senshi comes off the top rope on Williams with the Warrior's Way stomp and gets the three count! WINNER AND FINAL ULTIMATE X QUALIFIER: SENSHI.
We go to old TNA footage of Ms. Brooks trying to seduce Eric Young so he'll lose his match with Robert Roode, but Gail Kim gives him a kiss to get his head back on straight. Young won his contractual freedom from Roode at Slammiversary, but Roode has still been beating his ass ever since. The footage ends with Kim looking at Ms. Brooks and saying "I've got my eyes on you!" Next we get more footage from this Thursday's Impact where James Storm showed no sympathy whatsoever for Rhino and his alcoholic tendencies. "It was a rib, it was a joke!" Rhino: "Addiction is a hard thing to kick. That beer he poured in my mouth, that taste of alcohol reminded me what it was like, and he's got to pay for his actions."
We're back to Leticia and Buttnugget Borash with 8 minutes left to go before the PPV starts. J.B. is plugging then 10-man Ultimate X match and saying that it could steal the show - well I'd agree if they had put it in the co-main and kept it down to two or three men instead of putting 10 people on it at once. Does anybody besides me remember when "Don Callis - TNA Consultant" claimed to have invented the Ultimate X concept? I still have that very first Wednesday night PPV on tape somewhere when the match debuted, and the title belt kept falling off the Ultimate X wires while it was going on. If you've seen that match on DVD they edited the HELL out of it to take out the title slipping down and the wrestlers stalling for time when it did - I find the original version MUCH more entertaining. Next we get the Voice of TNA and Jim Cornette explaining the Match of Champions main eventing tonight's show. Honestly I don't think Devon is walking away X Division Champion or Brother Ray is walking away TNA World Champion, but we'll see. Three minutes to go, so order now! We'll be back as soon as the show gets underway.
TNA Victory Road 2007:
The show opens with promos from various TNA wrestlers talking about what it means to be a champion. Ray: "It's the be all and end all in professional wrestling." Joe: "Being a champion is me, and being a champion is Samoa Joe." Kurt Angle interrupts. "It's great to be me! I beat Brock Lesnar by tapout and I'm a TNA champion and an IWGP champion. It's great to be me." Joe: "It's comical Angle. I thought I was the only one who hated you." Ray: "You've been hiding behind your gold medal your whole life." Angle: "Everybody's mad because I'm telling the truth - I'm the greatest and they all suck." Joe: "Tonight Angle, you will be broken." Kurt: "Man it's great to be Kurt Angle." And with that, Victory Road 2007 is underway!
* 10 Man Ultimate X Gauntlet (Christopher Daniels, Black Machismo first two to enter)
Technically speaking this is not the Ultimate X - that's two wires. This friends, is the ELEVATION X. Whatever though - it still makes for a good match either way. The whole crowd is doing the wave to Lethal's entrance, but Fallen Angel is having none of it and starts stomping the crap out of him. Dueling chants start as Tenay reminds us they are both former X Division champions, and that Daniels has been in four Ultimate X matches before but this is Lethal's first. The rules here are an elimination battle royal until all ten men have come out, then whoever's left is still in the Ultimate X.
#3: Puma.
Daniels nearly gets thrown over the ropes as 60 seconds goes by and the next man come out. Tenay reminds us this is the first time Puma has been in TNA in over a year. Puma signals he's going to throw Lethal out, but Lethal nearly reverses him through the ropes 'til he does a half 619. Lethal hits a double clothesline as 60 seconds ends.
#4: Homicide.
Ahh it's so good to hear the LAX theme music, even if 'Cide is on his own. 'Cide hits a high back bodydrop, clotheslines Lethal, Lethal tries a comeback so 'Cide hits a neckbreaker. There's ten seconds to go as 'Cide and Puma take turns on Lethal, then Daniels holds him up for some 3-on-1.
#5: The Guru - Sonjay Dutt.
Sonjay Dutt's new inner peace leads him to a high crossbody and a head scissors on Daniels, then a backflip off the ropes onto 'Cide, Danies tries to throw him out but he lands on the apron and then springboards onto Fallen Angel's chest. Dutt whips Puma to the corner but Puma kicks him in the head.
#6: Petey Williams.
The crowd's going nuts for Petey as he hits a double sweep on Puma and Daniels. Williams tries to hit the Destroyer on Daniels, 'Cide distracts him, Puma kicks him in the head and hits a fireman's carry but Williams reverses Puma, hits him with it and throws him out. Homicide throws Williams out right behind him. PUMA AND PETEY ARE OUT.
#7: Shark Boy.
Shark Boy goes right after Lethal with a dropkick and double knees to the face. Deep sea drop on Daniels followed by the shark bite to the butt and a clothesline. Shark Boy tries to throw him over the ropes but Daniels hangs on for dear life with 10 seconds left to go.
#8: Elix Skipper.
Well I guess the rumors that they had newfound plans for Elix Skipper are true. Skipper back bodydrops Shark Boy over the ropes. SHARK BOY IS OUT. Skipper is shot into the ropes as West says he has a fractured hand that is taped up. Sonjay Dutt tries to skin the cat but Skipper kicks him in the back to drop him to the floor. DUTT IS OUT.
#9: Frankie Kazarian.
Kaz immediately goes to work, sweeping Daniels legs and hitting a reverse springboard legdrop. Tenay reminds us of Kaz' own history in the Ultimate X, and West says he once fell from the top with the belt.
#10: Senshi.
No more eliminations now, everybody needs to climb the scaffold to grab the Ultimate X to become the #1 contender. Kazarian immediately went for it but Senshi put him in a dragon sleeper and then started climbing up the scaffold over his prone body. Senshi is starting to climb across the structure but gets pulled back down and chopped by Homicide. Daniels starts climbing across but Kaz grabs a foot and drags him back down. Lethal unloads on Skipper with a chop as Kaz goes up. Lethal and Machismo are going up other braces of the X, and Senshi finally goes up the last unused one. All four get to the middle at about the same time and start kicking at each other, but they get pulled off by the other two still in the ring. 'Cide clotheslines Daniels and the crowd is going nuts for the action, chanting "T-N-A." Spin kicks by Kaz and Skipper. 'Cide puts a big boot into Skipper's face. Lethal hits a dropkick but Daniels clotheslines him out of his shoes and socks and goes outside to climb the scaffold again. Daniels is up there all by himself and keeps his legs hooked in the scaffold so nobody can pull him down, but Lethal comes up behind and knocks him into a tree of woe as he falls down, then while Daniels is hanging there Kaz hits him with a diamond cutter in mid-air! All of the men are down in the ring!
Kaz and Homicide are the first to get up. Senshi gets into it with Kaz and Senshi nails Kaz with a kick that sends him rolling to the floor. Senshi goes after Homicide and works him over on the ropes then whips him across, but 'Cide gets out of the way and Lethal comes over to get him some after the missed cartwheel. Fallen Angel nails them all with a triple suplex but Kaz takes advantage and he's going OVER the top of the Ultimate X scaffold instead of underneath. Elix Skipper goes up on the other side and starts walking across it while Kaz crawls. They both stand up and look down, trying to figure out how they'll get underneath it to grab the X, and start brawling with each other. Skipper goes for a kick and slips, Kaz goes underneath and starts kicking at the X to try and grab it, and they both knock each other off and crash into the canvas.
Back in the ring Jay Lethal hits the Lethal Combo but Skipper hits him with Sudden Death. Kaz hits him with Wave of the Future! Homicide kicks him in the face and goes up, Kaz kicks him while he's on the rope, 'Cide hangs on, Kaz goes after him again and hits the Flux Capacitor! Damn I've missed seeing that - it's been three years too long since that move - even Don West admits we haven't seen it for that long, back when Kazarian and Sabin were feuding over the name "The Future." Black Machismo scales the scaffold and starts crawling across, Daniels goes up the other side but Lethal has a head start, Lethal gets pulled down and Senshi nails him with double boots. Meanwhile Daniels gets all the way to the middle while the rest are busy fighting with each other and comes down from the top with the X. WINNER: FALLEN ANGEL CHRISTOPHER DANIELS. Low-Ki poses in front of him and Elix Skipper stands next to him. TRIPLE X REUNION! Daniels exchanges pounds and knux with his comrades as people in the crowd throw up the X sign. West points out that Skipper and Senshi were attacking Lethal to buy Daniels the time to get the X, and that this was their plan all along. I approve! One hell of an opening match.
Team 3D is backstage with Borash. Devon is so happy cause he's going to pin Kurt Angle and become world champion. Ray says he hasn't seen Devon this happy since he found out Paris Hilton was down with the brown. Ray says too bad for you Devon, you're not winning this match, because THE MAN WHO INVENTED THE TRIPLE ASAI MOONSAULT WITH A TWIST Brother Ray, weighing in at 300...ish pounds will be the new X Division champion. Devon: "A dream is a dream, I hate to dissapoint you, you're dream is not coming true." Ray: "Well that may be but you're not winning if I'm in that ring." Devon: "You do what you have to do, I'll do what I have to do. "Fine." "FINE!" "FINE!" J.B. tries to interrupt. Ray: "Shut up Jeremy!" and he gets shoved. Borash: "Leticia over to you." Joe is cutting a promo and says he set Kurt up like the mark that he is, and tonight he's going to do what he has to so he can win, just so he can get to the TNA champion later. "Kurt Angle, you will be broken!"
After a brief segment at commentary we go backstage to VKM. B.G. James: "Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! I applaud the upper echelon for finally having a stance. So Christy Hemme you no talent piece of trash, you will meet the newest memeber of VKM straight from Louisiana." Kip: "Talking about Romeo, meaning Lance Hoyt, tonight begins his official breakdown. I'm gonna stick my sixteen boot straight up his ass!"
* Basham & Damaja (with Hoyt & Hemme) v. VKM (B.G. & Kip James)
B.G.: "Cut the music. Wrestling fans one and all, welcome to Victory Road! Now then, ladies and gentlemen boys and girls children of all ages, Total Nonstop Action proudly brings to you it's soon to be TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORRRRRRRRLD! He's that K to the I to the Pizzle, I'm the B to the G to the Jizzle, together we are the Voodoo Kim Mafia. Oh and Christy Hemme don't think we forgot you. It now brings me great pleasure to introduce the Voodoo Queen from New Orleans, Roxxi Laveaux!" I have no idea who this white girl is, and the red lighting and the face paint aren't helping me figure it out. When they said queen from New Orleans, I was honestly hoping it was Jazz. The TNA crowd is no-selling her arrival, chanting "WHAT IS THAT! WHAT IS THAT! WHAT IS THAT!" Kip is trying to get her out of the ring as the crowd starts chanting at her "LET'S GO PIRATE!" Yeah she does kind of have that Pirate Paul Burchill look to her.
B.G. finally locks up with Damaja. Damaja nails him with rights and pushes him to the corner, whips him off the ropes for clotheslines, but B.G. ducks and goes for the DX punches. Splash on his back and a right to Lance Hoyt to knock him off the apron. 2 count. Hemme and Hoyt lock lips on the outside. Kip tags in and he has a staredown with Basham. Basham rams his head into a turnbuckle, Kip turns it around and shoots off the ropes but he gets hit with an inverted atomic drop, and responds in kind with a dropkick to the chest. Basham pulls him back up, Kip hits the ropes with a shoulder tackle, Basham goes for a dropkick so Kip hooks the ropes to avoid, hits an armdrag then goes for a side headlock. Hoyt grabs a leg from the outside but it doesn't help Basham as he still cleans house and goes outside after Hoyt. When Kip chases him through the ring Hemme gets in his face and slaps him, so Kip invites the Voodoo Queen into the ring to get some of Hemme. Earl Hebner tries to throw her out and the action spills to the outside as B.G. gets thrown into the guardrail then thrown back in by Hoyt. B.G. is pinned for a two count as the Bashams cut off the ring with quick tags.
The crowd is getting tired of Basham & Damaja on the offense so they start chanting "BOR-ING" and Kip leads the crowd. Basham gets knocked into the turnbuckle, Damaja misses with a big boot, B.G. tags out and Kip is a house of fire. Basham goes over the top to the floor and Damaja eats a high vertical suplex for 2. Kip backs up to hit a flying crossbody but Basham nails him in the head on a run-in. Damaja drapes an arm over him for a 2 count. Hoyt throws in a steel chair and kicks it right into Kip's face. Hebner was distracted the whole time. Damaja comes over for the pin but Kip kicks out at 2. Hoyt screams at the ref that it was 3 so B.G. comes over to hit Damaja with the chair. Fair's fair right? One good distraction deserves another. Kip makes the pin and it's 1-2-3. WINNERS: VOODOO KIN MAFIA. She's enraged at Lance Hoyt and sends him in, B.G. clotheslines him out. Hemme comes in, so Kip holds her up and signals for the Vood Queen. Voodoo Queen picks her up in a fireman's carry and slams her down right on her face! Kip and B.G. hold up her arms and celebrate as Hoyt carries the destroyed Hemme to the back. Kurt Angle is cutting his usual promo backstage. Yadda yadda I'm the greatest. Next we get the recap of the Storm v. Rhino feud again, so obviously that match is next.
* Cowboy James Storm (with Miss Tennessee) v. War Machine Rhino
Rudy Charles is throwing out Miss Tennessee before the match even starts, and Rhino is not waiting for the bell while he does. He starts throwing James Storm into the steel guardrails, the announce table, and pretty much anything that's not tied down. He beals him right onto the entrance ramp with a sick THUD, then throws him over the security railing and goes out into the crowd. Been there, done that. In fact Rhino is more or less standing in the same place in the crowd he was when he cut a promo during Impact while I was there last summer standing behind him. Rhino stands there feeding off the crowd energy and reaction to him, then takes Storm back down to the floor and once again we see how fragile the walls of the Impact Zone are as he throws Harris right through one and he falls down ripping off some Victory Road posters. Storm is thrown back over the guardrail back towards the ring, Storm gets a boot to the gut but it doesn't slow Rhino down one bit and he throws him in the ring and comes in behind him with a chair. ONLY NOW DOES THE OPENING BELL RING. Rhino explodes out of the corner with a clothesline as the Tazz fan in the front row looks on. Storm tries to whip him to the corner, Rhino hits an uppercut and goes up, Storm dumps him over the ropes to the floor and Rhino is holding his head on the ground. Storm whips him into the barricade and throws him back into the ring for a 2 count.
Storm is on offense now and Rhino winces as Storm hits double knees to the back of his head, which Rhino sells like it's the mother of all migraines. Storm goes for a headlock and the crowd starts applauding Rhino back to his feet. Rhino ducks a clothesline but Storm just uses Rhino's momentum to send him sailing over the top rope. He follows him outside and starts smacking him in the face before shooting his back into the guardrail. Rhino is rolled in as Storm saunters up the steps back into the ring and covers him for 2. Snapmare, flying kneedrop, legdrop, another 2 count. Tenay and West put over Rhino having a damaged neck and say that's the focal point of Storm's offense. Storm stretches out said neck and looks to the ref for a submission, but Rhino won't give. The crowd cheers Rhino on and Storm screams "SHUT UP!" He puts Rhino in a headlock and screams "THIS BOY AIN'T GOIN NOWHERE." Rhino does go somewhere, back to his feet for a clothesline, a back elbow, and a shoulder block into the corner. Storm comes back with a boot and a neckbreaker, followed by another 2 count.
Storm goes outside to get a beer bottle and bring it into the ring. The referee tells him you put that down, in the corner, RIGHT NOW. Storm goes over to start slapping Rhino around, throws Rhino to the corner, Rhino elevates him to the apron, Storm kicks him over the apron in the head. Storm goes up top, Rhino catches him going and brings him down with a superplex for a 2 count. Rhino tries to clothesline him but Storm ducks and Rhino hits referee Rudy Charles instead. Storm knocks Rhino down and polishes up his boot for a superkick, but Rhino blocks it and hits the belly to belly suplex. Gore time! While Storm is down he picks up the beer bottle, Rhino goes for the gore and Storm smashes the bottle in his face as he's coming in, and the ref recovers just in time to count three. WINNER: JAMES STORM.
Rhino is bleeding from his forehead as Storm goes out and gets a rope. Either he's a big fan of Pace Picante or Storm is preparing to lynch him. He wraps the rope around his wrists and ties him to the ring as the blood pours down his face. Miss Jackie comes back down to the ring with a pony keg as Storm cracks Rhino in the face with a chair. Jackie taps the keg and Storm pours it down Rhino's mouth as Jackie stands there taking pictures. The referees finally come in to put a stop to this as Storm takes a picture of Jackie standing in front of Rhino. Storm goes over to feed him some more beer and then takes a big swig of it himself. Storm goes over to get in his face a third time and finally gets cleared out by the ref as Miss Jackie follows behind with the photo evidence. Storm takes a left over by the announce table, grabs a steel chair, and gets back in the ring to crack Rhino one more time! This causes his theme music to play, so I would assume the tarring and feathering (or is that beering and chairing) is finally over. Afterwards we get a backstage interview with Backlund going insane and screaming about "MOMMAS, POPPAS, AND BABIES" finishing his promo with an emphatic "I'M DONE!" Jerry Lynn: "I guess he's done." Then we get a video package showing the "debate" from TNA Impact. Old school v. new school is next!
* Murder City Machine Guns (with Kevin Nash) v. Bob Backlund & Jerry Lynn
Nash appears to have Bob Backlund's "book" in his hands, which Don West describes as "notes and scribblings" including the name "Millard Fillmore." Backlund gets into the ring with Sabin and if you ever wanted to see an all natural 56 year-old in great shape with no steroids, MISTER BACKLUND IS YOUR MAN. Arm drag takes Sabin down and he complains about Backlund holdind the hair. Sabin fakes a test of strength and goes for the full nelson, Backlund fights out of it and puts one of his own on Sabin. Sabin tries to slip out and Backlund puts him back in not once but twice. Sabin finally gets a rope break and tags out to Shelley, so Backlund tags out to Lynn. The two circle for a bit and dueling chants break out in the Impact Zone. Shelley mocks Lynn and blows snot rockets onto his back so Lynn snaps him off with arm drags and grabs the left arm to work it over. Shelley stretches out just far enough to tag Sabin and Sabin walks into an armdrag of his own. The Machine Guns nonetheless manage to cut off the ring and work him over in the corner.
Backlund runs in the ring to scream some advice at Lynn, or perhaps fire him up - probably both. Sabin gets double underhooks as Shelley paintbrushes him. Lynn gets out of the double team and DDT's Sabin right into the mat for a two count. Shelley tries to break it up with an elbow and hits his own partner. Lynn goes for a cradle piledriver but Shelley spits in his face to block it and Backlund gets knocked off the apron to the floor. Shelley goes to work on Lynn with chops as Tenay screams that new school is taking it to old school. Lynn is thrown out to the floor right at Nash's feet. The ref gets out to prevent Nash from doing anything which just gives the Machine Guns the opportunity to double team him. Lynn comes back with a sunset flip but Sabin hits a dropkick to stop the count at 2. Sabin is the legal man now and puts on an abdominal stretch as the crowd cheers Lynn on. Lynn hip tosses him out as Nash looks on then tags out to Backlund. The ref didn't see it and sends Backlund out, largely thanks to Sabin throwing in a belt as a distraction.
While Backlund argues with the ref Lynn is put in the tree of woe in the corner for the baseball slide by Shelley and the hesitation dropkick by Sabin. Backlund comes in tag or no tag and starts unloading on everybody. He snapmares Sabin and puts an elbow in his head, then gives Shelley an atomic drop. Nash comes into the ring and the ref finally gets ahold of Backlund to throw him out after he tosses Chris Sabin overhead. Nash hits the big boot on Lynn while the ref isn't looking. Lynn staggers to his feet and the Machine Guns rock his block with a series of kicks before Sabin makes the pin. WINNERS: MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS.
Nash stands in the ring with his proteges and all three throw up their hand signs as we go backstage to Kurt Angle carrying around two belts. "I'm not going to lose tonight in a 3-on-1 match. I'm gonna find me some backup." Angle finds Jay Lethal. "I want to give you the opportunity of a lifetime. How'd you like to watch my back." Lethal: "Wash your back, that's a little gay!" Angle: "No watch my back!" Lethal: "Thanks but no thanks Mr. Angle." Angle: "I bet you'd like to know how it feels to be a world champion." Angle puts both belts over his shoulders, Lethal poses in front of the bathroom mirror, so Angle sucker punches him in the face! Angle tells J.B. he's not done yet, starts stomping on him, throws him into the shower stall and then into a sink. "My sunglasses fell off, now I'm really mad! Thanks but no thanks huh!" He whips Lethal through a bathroom stall door and leaves.
* Robert Roode & Miss Brooks v. Eric Young & Gail Kim
Gotta run for a minute so we'll be back with the finish of this match. Incidentally I just found out the "Voodoo Queen" is Nikki Roxx, so there you go. Top rope missile dropkick on Miss Brooks. Drop toe hold of Roode onto Brooks. Brooks is covered for two. She gets out of the way and Roode crashes into CEO another two count. Roode pulls her up by the hair, she hits a jawbreaker, double dropkick by Young and Kim and Kim covers Miss Brooks for three! WINNERS: YOUNG & KIM. Roode throws a chair at the ring, turns over a pair of steel steps, and the babyfaces flee and laugh at Roode before he can do anything to them. Brooks gets up slowly and Roodes starts blaming her and shoving her in the chest. Brooks demands she get out of the ring RIGHT NOW and she slinks away holding her head. Roode stares at her walking away so Young runs in and pulls Roode's pants down!! He and Kim laugh at Roode and walk away up the ramp. Roode's package was the LAST thing I needed to see. Cage and his Christian Coalition are backstage. Cage: "I'm that damn good, that's how I do it J.B. I have style, charisma and confidence, all the things it takes to be a star. Tonight Harris I'm going to make you a star, I promise you! But there's only room for one leading man, and that's the Instant Classic." Styles starts goofing around and Tomko screams at him: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, WE HAVE A MATCH TONIGHT, GET YOUR HEAD TOGETHER!"
Kurt Angle breaks up the party and wonders if Christian can do him a favor, loan him some help, but Cage says sorry buddy we have our own problems. Sonjay Dutt comes with a tambourine and says he's collecting donations for the ebola epidemic in Kenya. Angle: "If I wasn't in TNA, you wouldn't have a job, so you should worry about that cause!" Dutt: "All these problems you're having means you don't feel love for your fellow man." Angle: "Can I see that... you want a donation!" Angle whups him upside the head with the tambourine and starts punching him in rhythm: "THIS, IS, FOR, YOUR, DO, NA, TION, DRIVE, YOU, STU, PID, BAS, TARD!" Angle throws a dollar down on him and leaves. "On second thought I'll take that back." He picks it up and leaves.
* Christian Cage v. Wildcat Chris Harris
Harris does a delayed vertical suplex early in the match and thankfully they don't to 20 million different angles of it this time. Cage rolls out of the ring for a breather, Harris comes after him, Cage throws him into the apron and punches him in the head, then charges Harris but Wildcat just gives him a high back bodydrop onto the ramp. Cage crotches Harris into the post. Christian stays on offense with kicks to the gut then throws Harris back out to the floor. Cage grabs a steel chair but Rudy Charles takes it away from him. Cage tries to whip him into the barricade but Harris reverses and whips him over the steel steps, then back into the ring. Harris ducks a clothesline but Cage ducks a leaping lariat then pins Wildcat for 2 when he hits the canvas.
Cage starts unloading on Harris with chops so Harris bulldogs him to the mat. Cage stands up and gets levelled with rights repeatedly then hit with a flying left arm lariat. Cage sells like he's dazed as Harris gets back up but Cage was playing possum and throws Harris out to the floor. Harris comes right back in and hits the crossbody off the top for 2. Cage gets a double leg takedown and puts his boots on the ropes for leverage but only gets 2. Cheapshot by Cage, to the second rope for an inverted DDT, Harris blocks and goes up for a suplex, Cage blocks and drives Harris' face into the mat for 2. Cage walks around Harris stalking him, goes for the Unprettier, Harris counters and goes for the Catatonic, Christian blocks it, Harris blocks another Unprettier and then hits Cage with one of his own! 2 count.
Both men are slow to get up, Christian hits a knee to the face and tries to slingshot into the ring but Harris spears him and gets a 2 count. Harris tries for a Catatonic again but Cage finally connects with the Unprettier and hits the pin for 2. Harris catapults Cage into the turnbuckle which apparently Cage had uncovered at some point. Harris follows up with a full nelson slam for 2. Cage goes outside to get a chair, Harris comes over, Cage clocks him in the face with it and then hits a picture perfect frogsplash. 1-2-NO!! Harris kicks out. At the top of the ramp for no reason it's Dustin Rhodes, looking on. Harris rolls up Cage and gets a 2 count. Cage signals Tomko to come down to the ring, he rolls up Harris while the ref is distracted by Tomko, and from behind Dustin Rhodes nails Harris with a pair of handcuffs. 1-2-3! WINNER: CHRISTIAN CAGE.
Sting is backstage with Abyss. "History will be made at your expense!" Abyss: "Tomko! Styles! Your blood... my hands... tonight... CLICK, DOOMSDAY!! RRRRRARRRGHHH!"
* AJ Styles & Travis Tomko v. Abyss and Sting
Styles starts off with Abyss as we see a close-up of the scars running down Abyss' arm. Syles kicks him and bounces around like he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Another leg kick and suddenly he thinks he's Mirko Cro Cop or something. Abyss has had enough and chases him in and out of the ring, Styles kicks him in the face when he comes back in, Abyss no sells it. Styles tries to punch him twice and Abyss continues to no sell it. Third time same. Fourth time a jumping punch and an arm drags attempt fails. Styles ducks two clotheslines and tries to dropkick Abyss but he just stands there. Styles charges him and Abyss hits a backbreaker. Styles escapes in terror and tags Tomko. Tomko gets nose to nose with the Monster Abyss and the two start trading forearms and punches. Tomko chops him all the way over to Sting so Sting makes a blind tag and comes in with a "WOOOOO!"
Tomko shoots Sting into the corner, Sting gets out of the way, AJ crashes into his own partner, Stinger splash on both men, Abyss gets tagged in, running but to Styles, chokeslam by Abyss blocked by Tomko, big boot connects! 1-2-Styles makes the save. Styles leaps over Abyss and his him with rights, but Abyss catches him and starts going for a Styles Clash!! Tomko catches him with a boot before this audacious attempt can be made and throws him out to the floor. They brawl a bit outside and Tomko throws him back in as Styles looks on. Tomko stomps him and pulls him back up by the hair for punches, then tags in Styles. Double teaming for some kicks. Shoulder blocks in the corner, Sting tries to run in, Tomko chokes Abyss from behind. Sting realizes he's distracting the ref and quickly gets out of the ring. Double clothesline takes both Tomko and Abyss down.
Styles gets the tag and springboards off Abyss' back into Sting! Abyss knocks him down though and Sting tags in then faceplants both men. He goes over to Styles for punches, turns around to give some rights to Tomko, then hits a running clothesline knocking Tomko to the floor. Sting goes up for the ten punches on Styles but Styles slides out under and sweeps the legs. Abyss starts to go up the ropes on the outside, Styles dropkicks him off, and Abyss crashes into Tomko ANYWAY. Styles tries to go up top but Sting shoves him off into both men. Sting goes up to the top rope, waits for the right moment, and hits a flying crossbody to the floor. T-N-A! T-N-A! Sting pulls Styles back up and throws him into the ring. Single leg takedown but the Scorpion is blocked and Styles nails him with a dropkick to the head for 2.5. Tomko gets tagged and gives Sting an overhead release then covers for 2. Styles tagged back in already and has a rear chinlock on Sting. Sting fights back to his feet but Styles nails a dropkick right to his face and celebrates. 1-2-no!
Maybe it's me but this match seems to be going on and on. Styles finally gets the Shock Treatment from Abyss. Abyss wants to hit the Doomsday but Tomko blocks it and powerbombs him. Sting runs in and puts Tomko in the Scorpion but Styles distracts the ref, even though Tomko is tapping out so loudly the ref couldn't NOT hear him submit. Styles picks up Sting and misses with a kick so Sting just dumps him out to the floor. Abyss hits Tomko with the Black Hole Slam for the 1-2-3! WINNERS: THE MONSTER ABYSS & STING. I suppose you don't want the main event to be outshined by the co-main but this really took a long time to get to the finishing sequence. Nevertheless I'm happy for the winners... although Jim Mitchell is not. "There are debts to be repaid, and the Doomsday Clock is ticking!" Tenay: "Debts to be repaid, and the Doomsday Clock is ticking says James Mitchell!" Thanks Tenay, I might have missed that if you didn't repeat EVERY FREAKING WORD OF IT. God he's so useless at times.
* The Match of Champions: Angle {C} & Samoa Joe {C} v. Team 3D {C}
I think the introductions took ten minutes alone, not to mention Kurt Angle stopped to beat up Serotonin along the way, not to mention Joe had a bunch of firedancers doing a show at the top of the entrance ramp for him. Joe and Devon circle each other to start and lock up. Joe gets Devon's arm and works it over. Joe finally gets free and the two start slugging it out with forearms. Joe goes for kicks, Devon finally catches his leg and starts throwing punches. He tries to whip him to the corner but Joe reverses for a back elbow and a pele kick. Joe drags him over to Angle's corner and reluctantly makes a tag. Devon punches Angle to the ground as Ray stands on the apron patiently waiting. Devon finally gets a tag and Angle arm drags him over twice. He tries a go behind but Ray just pushes him backwards with all his weight into the corner, pulls Angle's straps down, and chops his chest hard. Angle reverses a whip and hits a suplex for 2. Joe tags back in for some kicks and punches. Ray rakes the eyes and tags Devon. Joe hits Devon with an atomic drop a running kick and a senton splash for 2. Angle tags back in. Suplex on Devon for 2. Another quick near fall. Joe tags back in. Liver punch! Snapmare, chop to the back, kick to the front, running knee drop. 2 count.
Angle and Joe continue to cut off the ring and keep Brother Devon busy, even hitting a double clothesline. Ray tries a run-in and gets a double hip toss for his trouble. Angle steps back out to the apron and Joe peppers Devon with punches 'til he sinks down to the canvas, then tags Angle back in. Angle with a European uppercut but Devon catches him running in and slams him to the mat for 2. Ray comes in and shoves Devon off to keep him from making the pin. The two start shooting at each other and Ray tags himself in. Angle tags out, Joe comes in and gets a press slam for 1-2 and Devon shoves Ray off the pin. Devon puts a finger in Ray's face and Ray slaps it away twice. Devon shoves Ray, Ray shoves him all the way to the mat and slaps him in the face before stepping out. Brother Ray walks up the ramp and leaves his partner on his own, then thinks twice of it and comes back to hit a low-blow on Joe... or maybe it was a set-up all along! Angle gets thrown out to the floor and the Brothers hit a hi-five and a hug, and in fact it was a big swerve on their part to fool Angle and Joe. Ray points to his head just to prove the point and works over a dazed Joe.
Devon tags back in and goes to work. Angle tries to step through the ropes so Devon just chokes out Joe on the ropes from the outside. The ref is distracted again so the double teaming on Joe continues. Ray gives Joe a hanging neckbreaker off the ropes and Ray tags back in. Ray with a hangman's drop and Joe is selling his neck. Ray wraps a beefy arm around Joe's tree trunk neck and starts choking him out. Hebner feels it's an illegal choke so Ray just slams him down and pins him for 2. Devon tags back in and slaps and punches Joe. Joe fights both men off with shoulders and punches before Devon pokes him in the eyes. Devon whips Joe to the corner, Joe gets a boot up and goes second rope for a flying knee. Both men are down and Angle is begging for the tag. Ray comes over and cleans Angle off the apron, Joe goes for the tag where he thinks Angle is and Ray punches him in the face. Devon drags Joe to the opposie side and puts a boot to the gut as Ray slowly saunters back to the outside.
Angle finally gets the hot tag and comes in a house of fire. High back bodydrop for Devon, then Ray, then a German suplex for both men in succession. The shoulder straps come down, he picks Ray up for the Olympic slam but Team 3D block it and Ray splits the legs for Devon to do the flying headbutt. Joe knocks Devon down and Angle runs over to suplex him off the top. Ray prevents Angle from making the 3 count. Power slam by Joe on Ray for 2. Suplex by Angle on Devon for 2. Ray into a fireman's carry by Joe for 2. Angle with a scoop slam on Devon, he goes to the top rope for a backflip moonsault and gets 2.5 before Ray makes the save. Everybody's down except for Ray, Devon staggers to his feet, and Ray slaps Devon in the chestand screams get the tables but Angle puts Ray in an ankle lock and Joe puts Devon in one too! The ref keeps an eye to see who taps, Ray spins out, Angle goes for Ray and he hits Joe instead. Angle gets hit with a 3D and Devon covers him for two before Rick Steiner pulls the ref out! Devon goes out after Rick and the two start brawling. Scott Steiner's in the ring and he creams Brother Ray with a weapon. Joe pins Ray and gets a 2 count before Angle attacks Joe to prevent the pin! Angle picks up Ray for the Olympic slam but Joe chop blocks Angle and pins Ray himself! WINNER: THE X DIVISION AND NOW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPION: SAMOA JOE! Joe holds up all three belts in celebration as Angle crawls to get back to his feet. Joe walks over and mocks Angle as Angle leaves with his TNA and IWGP World title belts. Hebner raises his hand and that's where the PPV ends. Thanks for reading the recap, g'night everybody!