| Date: 03/23 | 2:30 AM |
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From now until WrestleMania XXIV we will count down to "The Grandest Stage of Them All" with a series of editorials taking a look at the show in Orlando. This week long series culminates on Saturday, March 29th - the last day before 24th annual WrestleMania takes places. In our first entry we take a look at the 24 Man Battle Royal, with the winner to receive an ECW title shot later that night.
ECW on Sci-Fi has long been the runt of the WWE television litter. In fact Jerry 'The King' Lawler was more prophetic than he knew when he dubbed ECW "Extremely Crappy Wrestling." Years ago when he said it the statement was completely untrue, but clearly he gazed into a crystal ball and saw a day when Chavo Guerrero Jr. would be the champion of the lowest rated WWE program week in and week out. Only AM Raw is lower and that's just a one hour recap of a Raw show that happened almost a week ago. It's not even lower by that much - some weeks they're only 0.1 to 0.2 apart - but I digress. There are many people who would argue that ECW doesn't deserve to have one match on WrestleMania XXIV, let alone two, but ostensibly with a 24 Man Battle Royal that's exactly what we're going to get. First we'll have to endure a seemingly random selection of WWE rejects who weren't good enough for their own match at WrestleMania in a big schmoz, then the winner of said schmoz will challenge Chavo Guerrero for the least important title in WWE later that night. On the surface of things this booking screams EPIC FAIL all the way around.
You may be shocked to learn then that I'm actually EXCITED about the 24 Man Battle Royal to take place next Sunday. That's not to say there aren't a lot of other matches I think are much more deserving of a spot. I think Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella absolutely SHOULD happen at WM24, especially considering Lawler has never had a 'Mania match in his entire career. I think Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes should be defending the World Tag Team titles in a gauntlet of contenders from Raw AND Smackdown - everyone from Cade & Murdoch to MOORE WANG would be able to participate. Nonetheless when I'm not pipedreaming about what they should do and probably won't I see a lot of potential for what they could do and probably will with this Battle Royal. We've long said on the AngryMarks.com Pro Wrestling Podcast that everyone on ECW exists in a vacumn, fighting their own personal set of jobbers in an infinitely wide midcard where there is no upward OR downward mobility whatsoever.
The 24 Man Battle Royal can stir up the stagnant waters of the ECW brand. Even though the match itself is companywide, meaning wrestlers from all three original run TV shows will participate, the winner is almost certain to end up on ECW every week win or lose. If they win they'll be expected to defend the title and the brand on Tuesday, and even if Chavo manages to retain it's the launching pad for a program where the winner cuts the following promo: "Two nights ago at WrestleMania, I faced you for the ECW Title after winning a grueling 24 Man Battle Royal. I was already run down and worn out, and you didn't get me at my best - and I know at my best I can beat you!" That's assuming The Great Khali (already listed as a participant) doesn't win the Battle Royal, in which case the promo will simply be "SHAS MAKA TI BALAMKAROB BEWOOOOM!" The question is who do you put into this spot to breathe fresh life into the ECW brand?
I think it's safe to say none of the already listed competitors would be any help. Four of the six men - Big Daddy V, Kane, Mark Henry and the aforementioned Khali were part of one of ECW's most epic debacles - The Halloween Monster Bash. The last thing ECW needs as a champion is a man too muscular to move, too tall to bend over or too fat to wear a title. Yes I like Kane but I consider him ever being the champion of ANY WWE brand ever again to be an extremely long shot. The other two known names - Chuck Palumbo and Jamie Noble - are basically being thrown in the match to pair off against each other since they already have a rivalry. Therefore it's far more useful to speculate on who could be in the match simply on the basis of them not being in any other match currently announced for WM24. I expect Boogeyman to be in it because he's got nothing else to do, but we all know he's not title material - not even a weak title like ECW's. There will definitely be some Raw brand jobbers - Val Venis, Super Crazy and DH Smith will all get a shot. Same for Smackdown - Funaki, Yang & Moore are all likely to be there too.
Out of all the potential competitors who could enter and win, three names stand out. The most obvious choice, probably TOO obvious, would be Colin Delaney. It would be the ultimate WWE underdog story for the scrappy little kid who gets beat up every week to get the fluke win in the Battle Royal and rematch Chavo, who got the better of him when a kayfabed contract was on the line. Win or lose he'd be a made man simply by making a name for himself at 'Mania, and there could be both money AND ratings in that for ECW. The second big name who could win the 24 Man Battle Royal is Elijah Burke. Burke has long suffered as the most underutilized member of the ECW brand, given his undeniable gift of gab on the mic and solic technical acumen inside the ring. The problem here is that the ECW title match later on would be a heel vs. heel dynamic, and though I think the crowd in Orlando would turn Burke face against Guerrero, WWE probably isn't willing to risk it. Here's where I'm going to throw a curveball into the 24 Man plan, one which some of you may have seen coming, one I suspect many of you have not. If I'm right I'll be as prophetic as Jerry Lawler was years ago, only suddenly ECW WON'T be Extremely Crappy any more with the arrival of... MATT HARDY.
There's absolutely no downside to this idea whatsoever. Since Smackdown and ECW have an ongoing "talent exchange" there's no reason to abandon the idea of a future feud with MVP down the road, especially if he goes on to win Money in the Bank or even to cash it in and win the world title (that's another editorial for another day). In the meantime Hardy would be a huge boost to this match in general and the brand in particular. WWE has made no announcement of Matt Hardy's return, but he has done a run-in at a recent house show, which suggests not only that he's ready but that they're keeping his return quiet so he'll get a HUGE CROWD POP when he shows up at WM24 unannounced. You either put him in at the beginning and have him survive to the end to win the title shot, or you let the big monsters pick each other apart and bring him in late to hit someone like Val Venis with a Twist of Fate. Hardy and Guerrero already know each other of old so the chances of the ECW Title match going badly with the two of them working together are slim. If he wins it's a huge emotional rush for the live crowd, and if he doesn't win he gets a standing O for coming that close and shows up on ECW on Tuesday. It's a no-lose situation, and if WWE isn't completely crazy, they'll put the very popular VEE-ONE-AHH on ECW and give that show the adrenaline shot in the arm it so desperately needs.