| Date: 12/14 | 6:55 PM |
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Our coverage of the WWE Armageddon PPV will be LIVE tonight so hit F5 or refresh for all of the latest updates! The show begins tonight at 8 PM EST, 7 Central. PWI is reporting that Mae Young is in Buffalo and backstage at the PPV, but I REALLY hope that doesn't mean she's doing a Khali Kiss Cam. F4W reports that Goldust may be there as well as he left a show in Coral Springs, Florida early last night to catch a flight to Buffalo. Also for what it's worth if you want to kill a few minutes before the PPV (his entrance takes longer than the fight) you can watch Bobby Lashley's pro MMA debut last night at this link. The actual match begins at the 3:25 mark of the clip. As for Armageddon there are seven matches and two title bouts scheduled for tonight, so let's get it started!
One last promo for Cena v. Jericho before we go to air with the usual federal warning and "Hulkamania is runnin' wild" clip. Next we get a promo promising that Armageddon will be an epic war at the end of days pitting the kings of earth against each other, where opposing armies stand on the frontlines in a quest for immortality. Cue the G'n'R "Chinese Democracy" music because WWE Armageddon (sponsored by Prince of Persia) is live from Buffalo, New York! Good ol' J.R. is the first voice we hear live.
* Matt Hardy {C} v. Vladimir Kozlov (Non-Title Match)
Hardy comes out in a purple "Unlock Your Destiny" shirt with the title belt around his waist as the camera pans over to Todd Grisham and Matt Striker on commentary, with their Slammy Award prominently positioned on their desk. We go to a clip of Kozlov beating up Hardy on Smackdown. Kozlov comes out in some uncomfortably small and drastically plain white trunks, and not much else. Hardy jawjacks with him as the ref gives instructions and the crowd chants U-S-A before the bell gets things underway.
After a minute or so stalemate Kozlov picks up Hardy and throws him into the corner. Hardy counters being picked up into a quick rollup, and then a second one for a two count. Kozlov responds with a release back suplex as Striker puts over Kozlov's background in sambo competition. They want this guy to be Fedor so bad, but he's not even close. Case in point Kozlov puts Hardy in a keylock but he's nowhere near tapping. Kozlov works over the left arm and shoulder and asks the ref to check for a submission. Hardy screams in pain but refuses to quit. Kozlov picks up Hardy by the shoulder and throws his entire body, then gets a two count. Hardy makes a comeback with a jawjack and some punches, but Kozlov gives him multiple headbutts to knock him back down for two.
Kozlov continues to work over the left arm every way he can from knees to the shoulder to wrenching the arm back and forth. A "let's go Har-dy" chant can be heard echoing throughout Buffalo as we hit the 10 minute mark of the show. Hardy gets to the apron, snaps Kozlov off the ropes, climbs the corner for a double axe that connects then Hardy throws Kozlov out to the floor. Hardy goes for a crossbody to the outside, Kozlov catches him, but Hardy escapes him and shoots him into the steel ringpost. They get back in the squared circle and Hardy hits the Side Effect for two. Hardy signals for a Twist of Fate, Kozlov blocks it once, Hardy dives off the ropes, Kozlov hits a chop to the throat, Kozlov goes for the cover but Hardy gets a hand on the ropes before three. Roll-up for a near fall. Kozlov shoots him off, Hardy ducks his splash in the corner, then climbs up for more punches. Kozlov escapes and Hardy is dropped on the top of the ringpost. Kozlov drags a groggy Hardy back to the center of the ring for a power slam and three count. WINNER: VLADIMIR KOZLOV. Hardy retains the ECW title. Striker calls Kozlov's finisher a combination of chokeslam and spinebuster.
Edge and Vickie suck up to each other backstage as Chavo looks on. Chavo leans in to ask Vickie a question when Edge leaves to get ready for his match. "How did you two do it? How did you take Hardy out in that hotel before Survivor Series?" Vickie proclaims innocence. Chavo: "You can tell me, we're familia!" Vickie: "Stop asking me all these annoying questions and get me that cup of coffee I asked for five minutes ago." He looks pissed. "Two sugars." She stops him. "Wait Chavo, I'm sorry... TWO SPLENDA. I'm trying to watch my figure." 44993 - A for Edge, B for Triple H, C for Kozlov and D for OTHER if you want to vote on who you think attacked Jeff. Next we see Hornswoggle chasing a diva backstage. Finlay: "Listen son, I need you to stay back here tonight. I don't want you getting hurt and the safest place for you to be is back here, okay?" Horny looks disappointed.
* Rey Mysterio v. CM Punk (Intercontential Tournament Finals)
William Regal and Layla London are already front and center with Regal's IC belt, reminding us that a shot at the title is on the line for the winner of this match. Rey comes out first wearing a hood that's half pink, half La Parka. He takes it off to give it to a fan and has a more traditional Mysterio mask on underneath, although it's still half black and half pink with silver trim. CM Punk comes out with his double X fist t-shirt, the same one PeachMachine from The DRUNKCAST gave me for Christmas. Thanks Peach! We also see photographic evidence of the title change at last night's WWE Ontario house show, which Cole and Lawler continue to discuss on commentary as the match gets underway, suggesting it may have effected Punk psychologically. Mysterio and Punk shake hands in a show of respect and the match gets underway. Rey gets the first near fall of the bout but it's only a one count. Punk hits a deep arm drag to avoid being sent to Rey's area code. Rey hits an arm drag of his own to block a Go 2 Sleep before being thrown out of the ring by Punk, right in front of a watching Regal and Layla. Ref starts a 10 count. Punk launches himself over the ropes to splash Rey, then throws him back in for two. Tilt-a-whirl for another near fall. Punk puts a body scissor on Rey to wear him down as a SIX-ONE-NINE chant is heard throughout the building. Punk rolls Rey to his shoulders for another near fall - so far this match is almost all Punk.
Punk hands Rey up in a tree of woe, but Rey escapes and Punk's knee hits the ringpost charging in. Rey hits a moonsault to knock Punk down, but Punk comes back with a scoop slam for a near fall. Cole claims Mysterio has an injured wrist with strained ligaments, and Punk appears to be taking advantage of it. Rey tries to get a rope back and Punk puts him in a crossface. Rey finally gets the clean break, ducks under a boot, hits a tilt-a-whirl into an armbar lucha style and Punk is stretching out with his fingers to reach the ropes for a break of his own, which he finally gets. Rey hits a springboard dropkick which sends Punk through the ropes to the floor. Rey goes up to the top, stands up tall and jumps off to splash Punk on the floor, leaving both men down as Regal looks on. When they both come back in Rey hits a senton and a crossbody into a lateral press for two. Rolling near falls for two by both men. A group of rowdy fans in the front chant REGAL SUCKS as Punk hits the knee in the corner and a running bulldog for two. Punk stands up slow.
Punk picks up Rey, he floats over to a go behind then ties up Punk like a pretzel for a near fall. Leg trip into the ropes, six one nine is missed, Punk goes for a G2S, Rey escapes it and Punk falls into the ropes, the SECOND six one nine hits, but Punk sits up right before a splash! Mysterio tries to get a back bridge pin but Punk kicks out at 2.9. Damn good match! Rey jumps to Punk's shoulders, but Punk counters him into a G2S and gets the three count! WINNER AND #1 CONTENDER TO THE IC TITLE: CM PUNK. The bridge of Punk's nose is bloody as is Rey's nose and face, so they both got a little stiff in this one. Cole claims the G2S may have broken Mysterio's nose. The two show each other respect as Regal mocks Punk with a golf clap in praise at ringside. Punk gets a prolonged celebration in the ring afterwards as the crowd roars with approval. No TO THE BACK on a WWE PPV, thank Cthulhu.
Jeff Hardy promo afterwards, with facepaint on, bathed in green light - and he notes it's been one of the worst years of his adult life. "It's easy to say Jeff's a screwup, he's just going to fail again. I've broken my own walls down though and tonight is a new chapter in the career of Jeff Hardy. You will see with one imag-Eye-nation, and tonight I will answer all the questions. Does Jeff have what it takes? Is he willing to change? I am who I am - Jeff Hardy - WWE Champion!" Cole and Lawler discuss it afterwards before we go to a promo for the HBK and JBL storyline. The video package includes JBL taking Shawn's 2008 Slammy Award that he won for Match of the Year with Ric Flair. Shortly afterward JBL's limo music plays for the live crowd.
Bradshaw is in the ring with a mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my newest employee... Shawn Michaels." HBK's music hits. A dejected looking Shawn walks down to the ring in khaki pants, a leather jacket and t-shirt. JBL hands him the mic. Loud H-B-K chant. Michaels: "I'm just going to get right to it. The economy has hit all of us very hard and unfortunately I am not immune to it. I am in a very tough spot right now, I've heard all the whispers though believe me - he's a superstar, he's on TV, he's rich, there's no way this could happen to him. I wish that were the case. Like a lot of 20 year-olds, when I came into money I lived the high life. I bought houses, cars, motorcycles and gave a handout to every high school buddy who needed it. In the 30's the injuries mounted up and I paid for all the knee surgeries and back surgeries because I wasn't about to be beholden to anyone for the rest of my life. 10 years ago I met my beautiful wife, we had two children, and I did what I thought was a grown up thing to do. I called an investment broker, I invested in the stock market. I did all the things I was supposed to do, and I had and they didn't so I gave. Then the roof caved in. Now 20 years ago this wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm not gonna come out here and lie to you - I don't know how much time I have left." Long dramatic pause follows giving us time to soak this in.
"I have a wife and two kids who depend on me. I have family and relatives who depend on me. That's why I took JBL up on his offer. I don't like him any more than you do. He's smug, he's a bully, and personally I find him reprehensible, but the man is very good financially and that's what I need right now. I WILL put my children through college and won't let my family lose their homes. More importantly I will not become one of those guys, we hear you sayin' it, did you hear about HBK he's bagging groceries at the grocery store! Did you hear about HBK, he was limping into a high school gym to wrestle! I will not become one of those guys, I won't let it happen. Judge me if you want. If being booed or called a sellout is the price I have to pay, then I'll pay it." YOU SOLD OUT chant follows. "This is not something I want to do... this is something I have to do." JBL looks over his shoulder. Shawn turns to him. Bradshaw puts out his hand. Reluctantly Shawn accepts the handshake to a chorus of boos. Bradshaw leaves the ring, walking away smugly, leaving Shawn to wallow in his remorse in the ring.
Backstage interview with Randy Orton follows. Orton glares at the interview girl when she asks about strategy. Cody Rhodes interrupts. "Randy Orton was the crown jewel of Evolution. Batista was just hired muscle. There's a reason for that. Batista isn't on our level, and doesn't posess the God-given abilities of a second or third generation star like myself, like Manu, like Randy. We grew up around this. It's in our blood." Manu: "In other words, he's been waiting for four years, so this man tonight is going to expose Batista for the fraud that he is. TONIGHT Randy Orton cements his legacy." Interview girl turns back to Orton. Orton glares at her and walks away without saying a word. If only TNA backstage segments could be that good! (We all know they never will be though.) Jim Ross and Tazz put over the Buffalo Bills in attendance and the AT&T Mobile Poll again.
* Belfast Brawl: Mark Henry v. Fit Finlay
Three Six plays as Mark Henry walks down to the ring, flanked by Atlas in a suit and tie, as we go to Striker and Grisham on commentary again. Striker reminds us that Henry has threatened his family, and Grisham throws to a clip from ECW on Sci-Fi last week. Finlay comes down to the ring alone and Striker says he admires Finlay's choice to leave his son safely in the back, then puts over "the dangerous war-torn streets of Belfast" as the inspiration for this match. Weapons are legal and only a pinfall or submission can stop the fight. Finlay is dumped out early. Henry gives chase and Finlay throws him face first into the announce table. Henry recovers before Finlay can shove him into a ringpost, then shoves Finlay chest first into the apron. The two continue to clubber each other as the ref looks on. Finlay gets to the apron but Henry sweeps his legs and he bounces off the edge of the apron hard. Henry comes back into the ring but misses with the victory splash.
Finlay lays into him with kicks then goes underneath the ring to start throwing in some PLUNDAH. Kendo sticks, three garbage cans, a plethora of garbage. Striker suggests a bottle of Johnnie Walker may be next. Atlas hits him with a trash can lid from behind, so Finlay hits a reverse boot that knocks Atlas on his keister. The momentary distraction was enough for Henry to crack Finlay with a can, then hang Finlay up on the ropes. Henry does an amazing 400 pounds slide through the ropes and lands nimbly on his feet. He grabs Finlay by the head and screams "YOU WANTED A FIGHT, YOU GOT A FIGHT!" We see a replay of Henry's body raking Finlay's face across the ropes. One of the most impressive moves Henry has ever done.
Henry may have spent too long mocking Finlay. He gets clocked with a trash can, waylaid with kendo sticks, he's given a DDT to the canvas and another trash can to the head before a cover for two. Finlay pulls Henry up, Henry nails him with a series of head to head headbutts, puts him in the corner for a 400 pound butt bomb but Finlay managed to roll away at the last second. He crawls to his corner for a shilelagh but Henry puts a big boot in his face to knock him down, then snaps the shilelagh in two over his knee. They put over the fact a shilelagh is made out of strong blackthorn wood, but he snapped it like a #2 pencil. He takes a bamboo stick Finlay tried to hit him with and snaps that too. Hornswoggle runs out to help! He's knocked off the apron and disappears under the ring as Atlas tries in vain to find him. Henry puts a trash can on Finlay's face in the corner then crushes it against him like "a human trash compactor." Henry tries to bring in steel steps but Finlay dropkicks him in the legs and his head bounces off the steel. Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring and throws in another shilelagh to Finlay, who clonks Henry with it and gets the three count! WINNER: FIT FINLAY. Finlay and Hornswoggle embrace in the ring afterwards as Finlay continues to sell his injuries. For a match I expected almost nothing from, it was actually quite enjoyable to watch.
A promo for Tribute to the Troops (in just over a week) follows. The next segment involves "Santa Haas," the divas, Santino, Beth Phoenix, the Boogeyman and Goldust. A recap simply won't do it justice. Ken Kennedy glares at the camera, jaw agape, then tells everybody not to drink and drive (OR DO DRUGS) this holiday season. He gives a reminder for the release of "Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia" before we go to a promo for Evolution's history with Orton & Batista. The two superstars cut promos on each other as the segment comes to an end with Batista promising there's "a score to settle" between them.
* Dave Batista v. Randy Orton
Batista comes out first all by his lonesome, whereas Orton comes out flanked by The Legacy on either side. Both Manu and Rhodes remain at ringside on opposite ends as Orton jumps up to the ropes to pose for the crowd, turning to look at Batista stalking the ring like a caged animal behind him. The ref asks both men if they're ready and calls for the bell, and we're underway! Official start time for the fourth match was 9:20 PM EST by the way. Orton and Batista fight each other to no advantage on either end for the first minute or two. Orton finally manages to spin to a drop toe hold and take Batista to the mat, but he quickly gets back up and the two face off to a crowd pop. Orton kicks him in the gut but is shot off on a side headlock attempt and hit with a shoulder tackle. The ref backs Batista off to let Orton back to his feet, but Orton trips Batista out to the floor where The Legacy both jump him. This causes the referee to throw Manu and Rhodes out. In fact signaling THEY'RE OUTTA HERE isn't enough - he actually jumps out of the ring and gets in their face to let them know. Orton comes out to give Batista an uppercut, throw him back into the ring, then post him into a turnbuckle to work on his left arm and shoulder. Dueling BA-TI-STA and R-K-O chants from the Buffalo crowd.
Batista finally gets free and clotheslines Orton from one corner to the other before picking him up with the right arm for a jackknife. He jumps up and down, shakes the ropes. looks for a Batista bomb but Orton escapes and hits a neckbreaker which leaves both men down on the canvas. Orton follows up with a knee lunge for a two count then applies a side neck crank. Batista powers out to hit shoulders to the gut in the corner, then throw Orton out to the floor, where Randy grabs his shoulder and winces in pain selling the injury. Batista quickly follows him out and throws him back in. Orton manages to catch Batista coming back in, string him out feet first from the ropes, and hit a faceplant DDT for a near fall. Orton starts stomping a mudhole in him and walking it dry. Knee lunge to the face follows. Orton rolls out to the floor to pummel Batista as he lays on the apron. Batista falls out headfirst from a punch and Orton finally heeds the ref and comes back in. A near fall follows shortly thereafter before Orton tries to crank the neck again.
One more time Batista gets back to his feet, but he misses with a clothesline attempt and Orton takes him right back down to the ground. The ref is checking to see if Batista's going to go out cold. Orton tries to take the back for a rear naked choke, but Batista falls backwards into the turnbuckle to break him loose then hits a side slam. Ref starts a standing ten but neither man gets close to the whole of it. Orton runs into a huge clothesline and gets dumped out to the floor. One drunk in the crowd yells "THROW HIM OVER HERE BATISTA! GIVE ME A PIECE OF HIM!" Back in the ring Batista goes to the ropes, Orton cuts him off and hits a superplex. Orton rolls over onto the cover and gets a 2.8. Orton tries to run the ropes for a move but gets cut off by a spinebuster for a near fall. We're about 14 minutes in now. Batista bomb blocked. RKO attempt blocked. Orton slammed down awkwardly for another near fall. Batista is countered into a neck slash backbreaker, then Orton coils up to strike with the RKO. Batista gets up slowly, the RKO is blocked and Orton is powered into a slam for 2.999! Orton with a kick to the gut and another DDT. They're making Batista's neck the focal injury of the match. Orton charges over for a soccer kick but Big Dave blocks and puts Orton in the corner for five punches, then pulls away from the corner for a BIG spinebuster and a three count. WINNER: DAVE BATISTA. I'm shocked The Legacy didn't run out from the back - they were ejected from the match, not the building. We see a replay of the Batista bomb as Dave celebrates in the ring. Orton walks up the ramp slowly, an evil glare at Batista in his eye the whole way. Footage of the 2008 Slammy Awards follows.
* Santa's Little Helper 8 Diva Match
If you need to take a piss break, now is the time. Our two teams are Michelle McCool & Maria & Mickie James & Kelly Kelly in red vs. Victoria & Natalya & Jillian Hall & Maryse in green. We have a mixed commentary team for this match - I've heard everybody but Striker giving their two cents and this isn't even underway yet. Oh wait, there's Striker. In short this is as much of a clusterfuck on the mic as it is in the ring. Natalya tries to punk out Mickie James until she responds with a Lou Thesz press. Kelly Kelly comes in to work with Natalya and Striker says she celebrates channukah. "Kelly Kelly is one hot hebrew!" Actual line on commentary that ONLY Striker could get away with. Ross teases Lawler about only caring about the photos on WWE.com AFTER the match. It turns into a slobberknocker and Ross says we've got HOT WINGS IN BUFFALO. Michelle McCool hits a finisher, possibly on Maryse but I wasn't paying that much attention, but thankfully the match is now over. WINNER: THE DIVA FACE TEAM.
The Great Khali and his translator Ranjan Singh are on their way down to the ring before the heel divas can even get all the way up the ramp. Singh says it's time for THE CHRISTMAS KISS CAM. Oh shit, sweet merciful Cthulhu, my prediction from the start of the PPV is about to come true. The kiss cam heart focuses on McCool and she bails out and goes up the ramp. Singh says don't worry about it, kissing three divas is better than kissing one! Singh wants to know who will go first. Singh says it's okay they're reluctant, because Khali is too much woman for any man, and that he still has a backup plan with a diva tonight. "SHE'S BEEN HELPING SANTA FOR A LONG, LONG TIME." Sure enough the piano music hits and here comes Mae Young. Those of you with a weak constitution are advised to not watch this segment, and certainly you don't want to drink during it... although Khali may need one to get the taste out of his mouth afterwards. "Great Khali says you're looking hot tonight." Young: "I would like to say this is the greatest night of my life!" Young snogs him with so much gusto I think she's trying to shorten his life AND hers. Ross even asks Khali if he wants a Junior Mint afterwards. Lawler says Mae Young plays spin the bottle with Mylanta. I think WWE owes me $10 back just for having to watch that shit. Another promo for Chris Jericho v. John Cena mercifully cuts the whole thing short.
* John Cena {C} v. Chris Jericho (World Heavyweight Title Match)
Chris Jericho comes out first. Jericho glares with scorn and disdain at all of the fans in the building for about a minute before Cena's music hits, with the M.O.P. BRRRRRR-RAP-A-DOO sample from "Ante Up" still intact. Lawler is happy to proclaim "THE CHAMP IS HERE" when he arrives in the ring and says everybody in Buffalo is on their feet. Cena hands the belt to the ref, runs the ropes, then waits patiently for Lilian Garcia to make the title weight introductions. I can't say I'm shocked that the match involving Triple H is going to go on last. Cena and Jericho jawjack and the ref finally rings the bell at 10:04 EST. Jericho gets the early advantage and pounds, stomps and kicks on Cena's neck. Cena gets a takedown in retaliation. Jericho bails out to the floor to escape, Cena gives chase, and Jericho catches him coming back through the ropes. Headbutt and forearms by Y2J. Cena gets one clothesline before Jericho catches him in a sleeper hold and pulls him to the ground. Cole actually calls Jericho 'The Narcissist.' That's not a gimmick we need to revive. Jericho counters an FU attempt into a face hitting the canvas. Jericho fights off another on the apron and bulldogs Cena's face right into the steel steps. Y2J throws him back in to hook the leg but it's only a two count.
A light Cena chant breaks out as Jericho continues the assault. Jericho lays Cena out on the ropes, stands on his back, and leans backwards for extra leverages while holding the ropes. Jericho grounds Cena for a submission and asks the ref to check if he submits. Cena of course does not. Jericho misses a spear into the corner and Cena hits some flying shoulder tackles to start a comeback. You Can't See Me and a five knuckle shuffle soon follows. Cena picks him up for the FU but Jericho squirms out and starts to turn him over for the Walls of Jericho, but Cena powers out and tosses Jericho for a near fall. Jericho responds with a missile dropkick off the ropes for 2. Jericho counters a bulldog and hits a Lionsault for 2.8. Jericho puts Cena on the ropes for a suplex but Cena throws him off and hits a leg drop to the back of the neck for 2 and change. Cena stands up and yells "YOU WANT SOME, COME GET SOME!" Jericho gets up slowly. Cena misses on an FU attempt and Jericho counters into the Codebreaker for 2.95. Jericho yells at the ref, charges at Cena in rage, and Cena hits him with the FU clean but both men are down. Cena crawls over slow to make the cover and Jericho kicks out before 3. Standing ten count starts and Jericho stays down the whole time.
Cena gets back up at five or six but Jericho nearly rolls him up for three by playing possum. Cena tries to go for the STFU but Jericho counters it into the Walls and Cena's in the center of the ring. Lawler is convinced he'll have to tap but Cena starts crawling towards the ropes, but when he reaches out Jericho drags him right back to the middle. Cena can't get a rope break so he muscles up, reverses it, locks in the STFU and Jericho taps out almost immediately! WINNER AND STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JOHN CENA. Seems that Cena lived up to his promise to teach Jericho the meaning of the word RESPECT all over again. We get replays of the counters, the finishers, the FU attempts and the finishing sequence as Cena celebrates in the ring. Cena even goes over to pose with the Buffalo Bills players in attendance. One more time, at least for tonight, THE CHAMP IS HERE. Promo for the Royal Rumble follows. To my friends in the D, I'll see you there on January 25th, and I can't wait! 65% of the text poll picked Edge as the man who attacked Jeff Hardy, but in second place 23% picked OTHER. I prefer to think those 23% were all in their hearts voting for Christian. A promo package for tonight's triple threat main event follows.
* Edge {C} v. Triple H v. Jeff Hardy (Triple Threat WWE Championship Match)
I suppose it's appropriate that Triple H come out first in a triple threat match. As much as I miss seeing Smackdown (thanks to the fact DIRECTV DOESN'T CARRY MYNETWORK) I can't say I'm sad I haven't had to see this guy do a spit take with his bottle of water every single week. Whether you love or hate Jeff Hardy's current entrance music, he's so over that his music gets a pop before he even comes out to the crowd. Triple H tries to stare a hole through him as he comes down the ramp. Edge has the belt around his waist when he comes down, which I always like to see. It's a belt after all, not a shoulder dangle strap. Hardy and Hunter are introduced first, leaving the Rated R Superstar and YOUR WWE Champion to be given his introduction at the end. Chad Patton holds up the belt, hands it to an official at ringside, asks all three men if they are ready and calls for the bell.
Jeff Hardy immediately charges Edge and starts pummeling him with punches, but it's not long before Triple H gets involved. Jeff stacks both of them up like cordwood in one corner, then the opposite corner, then splashes them both! Trips falls to his knees and Jeff uses him as a launching pad to splash Edge in the corner, then makes a cover for two. Triple H gets dumped out to the floor but before Jeff can launch himself at Hunter, Edge yanks him down hard. Edge goes out to the floor too and Jeff seizes the opportunity to launch himself at both, but Trips gets out of the way and Edge takes the brunt. Hardy stands up and Hunter runs him down with a clothesline. Hunter and Hardy brawl on the ramp until Trips throws him into the barricades. Edge attacks Hunter when he tries to come back in and appears to be shaking out some cobwebs.
It's not long before Edge goes for a pinfall that only gets two, and Hunter responds with a Harley Race high knee and a neckbreaker. Ross and Tazz keep refering to Edge as "The Ultimate Opportunist." I can think of far worse nicknames. Hunter is about to Pedigree TUO, but Hardy knocks him away before he can execute. Nobody in the crowd was buying that as a possible finish anyway because it was far too early in this match. Whisper in the Wind knocks down both men. Jeff goes for his whacky rollup legdrop pin and gets two. Hardy slips going up the ropes and Edge takes advantage, but then Hunter comes over and gets under Edge to pull him off. With Edge in the electric chair position, Hardy jumps off and knocks them over like dynamite to a leaning tower. Edge definitely looks like he got the worst of it. Hunter whips Jeff into the corner, hits a boot to the gut when he comes off, tries to Pedigree him but gets catapulted into the corner. Swinging rope assist dropkick follows, but Edge gives him a neckbreaker before he can follow up and covers for 2.8. Edge is speared and knocked out to the floor, Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and a Swanton, but Edge drags him off the pinfall by the leg all the way to the floor. Edge attacks Hardy mercilessly as Hunter takes a breather in the ring.
Hardy finally gets his mojo back by sending Edge into the barricade, at which point he tears off his shirt and takes apart the spanish (or perhaps ECW) announce table preparing to finish Edge off. Hunter of course can't abide this and breaks it up, then starts stripping down the Raw announce table with the same intentions Hardy had in mind. He pulls Hardy up by the hair and drags him over to the announce table, so I'm just waiting for Edge to break this one up too. Hunter stands up on top of the table, starts to pull Jeff up for a Pedigree, but Hardy escapes. Hunter blocks a Twist of Fate attempt and suddenly Edge runs across the table and spears Hardy through the third table! Brief HOLY SHIT chant follows. Tazz is convinced it's lights out for Hardy. Edge and Hunter work their way back to the ring and Edge counters a Pedigree with an Impaler DDT.
Edge waits for Hunter to stand up so he can hit a spear, but Hunter counters it into a double leg spinebuster. Hunter hits the Pedigree, but before he can make the pinfall Kozlov comes out to pull him off. Matt Hardy runs out to attack Kozlov. Jeff Hardy goes up to the top turnbuckle but gets shoved off and spills all the way down to the pretty black mats. Edge is still in the ring and Hunter is slowly crawling to his feet and back into the ring. Edge finally hits the spear but Hunter kicks out at 2.99999. A frustrated and enraged Edge rolls out, grabs two steel chairs, comes back in the ring but Jeff grabs the second chair before Edge can hit the conchairto and clocks him with it! Jeff goes to the top rope to hit a move but Hunter pulls on the ropes before he can do it and Hardy comes down crotching himself. Hunter stumbles to his feet and Edge staggers to his recovering from the chair shot. Hunter sets him up for the Pedigree and connects but Jeff Hardy hits a Swanton before he can make the cover and gets the three count! WINNER AND NEW WWE CHAMPION: JEFF HARDY.
The announcers are stunned into silence, so all we see and hear is Jeff and the crowd celebrating. Hardy puts the belt on and turns it around to face forward to show the crowd, then continues dancing and celebrating. He rolls out of the ring but he's not done yet! He's going around ringside high-fiving the crowd, limping and selling all the way, as fans hold up their signs like CONGRATS JEFF and WE BELIEVE IN YOU JEFF. All of those Jeff Hardy fans around the world have finally been rewarded tonight. Hardy even stops to give a young fan some of his ring gear on the way up the ramp, as we finally hear the voice of Jim Ross again at 10:52 PM EST. We see the finishing sequence on replay. Hunter hits the Pedigree, Hardy hits the Swanton that knocks him off the pinfall, covers Edge for three and wins the belt. The PPV goes off the air at 10:55 with Hardy standing on the top of the castle for the Armageddon set, still celebrating, with Ross and Tazz laying out and letting the moment speak for itself. Thanks for reading the recap!