WWE Cyber Sunday 2007 Live Recap

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Welcome to Cyber Sunday! Tonight there are seven scheduled matches, the fans have the option to vote on six, and three titles are on the line. Of course there is also the hinted (but even at this late hour unconfirmed) return of Y2J - they're clearly not going to put THAT on the schedule even if it is taking place. The Verizon Center in Washington, D.C. is pumped and so are the fans at DJ's Dugout in Omaha, Nebraska. Let's get this party started!

* Rey Mysterio v. Finlay (Fans Choose STRETCHER Match)

Mysterio has on an orange mask, trunks, and appears to have in orange contacts too - I suppose it's his Cyber Halloween look. Finlay and Mysterio stare each other down, get into a slap war, and then Finlay grounds Mysterio and tosses him shoulder first into the pole. Finlay targes the left shoulder with hard blows. As I predicted earlier, in a stretcher match there are no rules, so Finlay tries to go for the shillelagh that was left on the pole. Mysterio blocks him and dropkicks him in the johnson, then goes for the shilleleagh. They keep trading off who's gonna get it and when Mysterio finally gets his hands on it he gets knocked out to the floor for his trouble. Finlay attacks the legs and rolls down the stretcher even as Mysterio gets back into the ring. Mysterio dropkicks him and goes on offense but Finlay knocks him off the apron and starts to pull away the stretcher. Mysterio flips backwards to kick him in the head and slides off the stretcher but Mysterio rams it into his head and gut. Mysterio gets back into it and manages to six-one-nine Finlay onto the stretcher, but when he tries to push it across the line it snags on a camera cable. Finlay gets off the stretcher and peels off the bedding but Mysterio manages to faceplant him back down into it with brute strength, unsnag the cable and push him over the finish line. WINNER: REY MYSTERIO.

We see a disconsolate Matt Hardy backstage, face all bruised up and bandaged to sell the damage that happened to him Tuesday in Kansas City... err Friday night on Smackdown. MVP comes back to advise him that he's not ready to go, as a caption on the screen shows this was all filmed earlier today. Hardy says that's too bad because he heard MVP still has a match for the US Title tonight, and his opponent might be Mark Henry, Great Khali, or Kane. MVP runs off in a panic to talk to somebody about it as we go back to ringside and see JBL has a referee's shirt on and a banner on the announce table that says "VOTE FOR JBL." Next we have to see all the divas in their costumes, including Victoria as a sumo and Kenny as a Mr. Miyagi style manager. Ron Simmons walks up to them and says "DAMN!"

* ECW Championship Match (Fans Choose CM Punk's Opponent as The Miz)

I'm two for two baby, here comes The Miz! Punk is in control early in the match, grounding Miz and working him over at will. Miz at one point fails to get off his feet for a vertical suplex and Punk has to deadlift him - that had to suck. Miz and Punk end up fighting in the corner and Miz knocks him down from the outside then takes control of the match. posting Punk's head on the turnbuckle and raining down punches. Big running knee connects and Miz looks fired up! One count only, maybe two if you're generous. Miz stays in control and snaps Punk's head off the ropes with a leap to the outside, to the disapproval of the crowd (who were loudly chanting YOU CAN'T WRESTLE at Miz just minutes ago). Punk gets back on the O and hits Miz with a running bulldog, then goes out to the apron to springboard off the ropes with an elbow and get a two count. He yells for Go 2 Sleeep and comes over to pick Miz up, but Miz wriggles out of it and grabs a handful of trunks. Punk reverses the cradle and nearly has the pin. They break apart, Miz charges him, Punk picks him up for the Go 2 Sleep and 1-2-3 it's all over! WINNER AND STILL ECW CHAMPION: CM PUNK.

We see a couple more of the divas, including Mickie James as the hottest little indian there's ever been, then we go to J.R. and The King at ringside previewing the WWE Championship match for later tonight. They throw to a recap package that includes Orton being awarded the title at No Mercy and all of his tribulations since then, including all three challengers from this week's boring Monday Night Raw. Next comes William Regal to announce the winner of the voting to face Orton, who indicates the losers have to wrestle each other next. Orton's opponent revealed as... THE SHOWSTOPPER HIMSELF SHAWN MICHAELS. The vote wasn't even close - Shawn won by a wide margin, Jeff Hardy had over 30% of the vote, and Kennedy barely had over 10%.

* Mr. Kennedy v. Jeff Hardy

Kennedy is in control almost from the opening bell. He gets tossed hard to the outside and I'm thankful there is padding outside WWE rings. When Hardy tries to come back in Kennedy unloads on him and then grounds him with a headlock. Hardy fights out with elbows and whips him into the ropes but when Hardy ducks his head for a high back bodytoss Kennedy grabs it and DDT's him hard (too hard if you ask me). Hardy finally gets a comeback after a double count on both men and hits a series of clotheslines, then hits the Whisper in the Wind for 2. Hardy tries to go for an elevated dropkick in the corner but Kennedy ducks him and covers him on the the mat. Three count ensues. WINNER: MR. KENNEDY.

Michael Cole and JBL are at ringside voting on who MVP's opponent will be - Great Khali, Kane or Mark Henry. Cole picks Kane. Next we get one of the divas saying she's Eve in the garden of Eden, taking a bite of the apple. Next is Melina, dressed up as a Las Vegas showgirl, saying what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. We go to Mick Foley backstage standing between two Fatheads of Undertaker and Batista, wearing his ref shirt, pretending to give them instructions. Before Foley can even speak JBL yells at him to shut the hell up and airs a commercial "Paid for by the friends of JBL." Bradshaw's commercial tells us that voting us what makes America great, and who better to vote for in America than John Bradshaw Layfield. His accomplishments as a financial wizard and world champion are put over, not to mention the fact he's "a wrestling God," before the commercial mocks Austin for being a beer drinker and Foley for throwing himself off rooftops. "So remember, when you cast your ballot for Cyber Sunday vote for John Bradshaw Layfield, a vote for a wrestling God. JBL, a great American for a greater America." Foley says he's standing between Fatheads but JBL is still the biggest FATHEAD of all. Foley reminds us he's been a referee in some of the biggest WWE matches ever, and best of all he can count 1-2-3 so vote for Foley, YEAH, complete with cheesy grin and a big thumbs up~!

* MVP United States Match (Fans Choose Kane as Opponent)

GM Guerrero comes out and she tells us that she won't pick MVP's opponent, the fans will. We see Mark Henry mean mugging Kane, while Great Khali stands in the middle punching his fist into his hand, as Kane glares at them both. KANE WINS THE VOTE WITH 57%. Kane lays a whooping on him from the opening bell until the finish, which is MVP being beaten within an inch of his life and falling outside of the ring to the floor to get counted out. WINNER: KANE but MVP RETAINS THE US TITLE. Next we see more of the Halloween divas, including Kelly Kelly dressed up in a pink pimp hat and robe, telling us she's a GANGSTAH. I won't argue! Next Randy Orton comes out with the belt over his right shoulder and rolls a highlight package showing all of the beatings he's given Shawn Michaels this year. "You people have made your choice and now everybody, including Shawn Michaels, has to live with that choice."

* Randy Orton {C} v. Shawn Michaels (WWE Championship Match)

Wow - I'm shocked this is going on so early! The only way this makes sense is if Triple H v. Umaga turns out to be a steel cage match to end the PPV. Hunter - what an egomaniac! Not surprisingly Orton comes out to a huge chorus of boos and Shawn Michaels is greeted like a triumphant hero. I just hope he doesn't mess up his knee further in this match given he's already come back far too early. Incidentally that Cyber Sunday logo still looks like Metroid Prime to me, but then again I've never once confused WWF for the World Wildlife Fund or N.W.A. for Northwest Airlines. Match is pretty back and forth early on until HBK sidesteps a charging Orton and he spills out to the floor. When Shawn goes out to follow-up Randy suplexes him right onto the ringside barricade backfires. Orton gets him on the apron, pounds on his back, and shoves him back in. Lawler: "I'll tell you J.R. the tide is turning in this match." Indeed - Orton is in full control now and has him grounded with a headlock. Michaels manages to get back to his feet and hook the ropes to avoid a dropkick then covers him for 2. Orton goes for a side slam and HBK counters it into a near fall. Orton hits an inverted backbreaker for a near fall. He's staring at Shawn for a second then sets HBK on the top rope and climbs up. Shawn knocks him off once, Orton comes back up, goes to the top rope with Shawn's head locked, Shawn punches his way out and knocks Orton to the canvas, then comes off the top rope and misses with a flying elbow when Orton moves. 10 count starts for both men but Orton quickly gets up. Orton pounds the mat waiting to hit the RKO but HBK counters and backslides for a near fall. They get up and HBK unloads with chops then knocks him down with a forearm.

Another 10 count for both men starts. HBK gets up first and hits a gutbuster and a scoop slam then goes up for another flying elbow - this one connects! He's a superkick away from being world champion and everybody is on their feet in the building. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. Superkick misses when Orton gives him a low blow for the foul finish! WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION: SHAWN MICHAELS. The replay shows Orton sliding underneath HBK and hitting a perfect forearm to the johnson. ORTON RETAINS THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP. Orton stands there waiting for HBK to stand up so he can hit him with an RKO. HBK plays possum waiting for it and when Orton charges in SWEET CHIN MUSIC ENSUES. Michaels may not win the title but he won the match and leaves triumphant. We get another Halloween Diva segment and Jillian is dressed like "Britney bitch!" She drops a baby in her hand and says "OOPS, I did it again!" Next is a preview of Umaga v. Triple H.

* Triple H v. Umaga (Fans Choose Street Fight)

Well you can't win them all! Out comes Hunter - I'm surprised he didn't carry his sledgehammer with him since there are no DQ's in a street fight. All he's got with him is a bottle of water for his usual spit take. Of course Umaga comes out ready for war and it's war he gets as the action quickly spills to the crowd in usual brawling fashion. The first weapon that Hunter gets from under the ring is a trash can and he clonks Umaga right in the head with it as a fan holds up the sign "Umaga ate all my Halloween candy!" Umaga takes control by pitching Triple H into the steel steps, pounding him down in the ring, giving him a series of bearhugs, then hitting the running butt splash to the corner before covering him for two. Umaga goes out to the floor and picks up a steel chair before coming back in. The chair backfires when Trips gives him a nutshot and then DDT's him into it. Facebuster by The Game and he tries to set up for the Pedigree but Umaga picks him up and charges him into the corner post. Umaga goes to finish him but Hunter gets a boot up.

Triple H and Umaga are putting on a pretty damn good match. Hunter charges in and Umaga delivers a modified Black Hole Slam, releasing him instead of putting his weight on it. Umaga throws him out and disassembles ALL THREE announce tables. Umaga misses with a steel chair and hits the ringpost, clonking himself. Hunter charges him and they spill over the Smackdown announce table, fighting their way all the way past J.R. and King. Lawler: "Hit him J.R.!" Not a good idea. Umaga knocks Hunter down, walks back to the first announce table, and runs all the way across to splash Hunter through the third. HOLY SHIT!!! Triple H crawls back into the ring, Umaga goes up to the top for a headbutt, and Hunter gets out of the way at the last second. Hunter goes under the ring for his sledgehammer but Umaga ducks it. Umaga goes for the Samoan spike but Trips ducks it and clocks him in the head with ths sledge! Pedigree, 1-2-3. WINNER: TRIPLE H.

Todd Grisham comes out to announce who the winner of the Halloween Diva Costume Contest is. The fans have chosen... MICKIE JAMES! We go from there to JBL and Michael Cole at ringside previewing the Undertaker v. Batista match and reminding us that the ref choices are JBL, Stone Cold and Mick Foley. Then we get a recap package of the previous encouters between Batista and Undertaker. Time to find out who was picked!

* Batista {C} v. Undertaker (World Heavyweight Championship - fans choose... Stone Cold)

JBL interrupts and tells Todd that "his great fans" have chosen him and that no other idiots with microphones are allowed to talk. Foley comes out to the ring and just looks at JBL as they wait for the announcement. And the winner is STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN WITH 79% OF THE VOTE. JBL and Foley start brawling, Stone Cold comes out to thunderous applause and cheers, he gives Foley a stunner but JBL clocks him in the head and starts to beat him down in the corner. Austin reverses a whip but JBL gets a boot up. When JBL tries to finish him off Austin explodes with a Stone Cold Stunner! JBL sells and covers up his head as Austin hits the corner for his musical middle finger salute. His new shirt reads "Been There, Destroyed That." The eerie gongs hit and out comes The Undertaker! He rolls his eyes into the back of his head and Stone Cold's eyes just stare straight through him, unintimidated. Out comes Batista with the belt around his waist, firing his machine gun pyros to a big hometown hero pop! Enough talking, enough introductions, LET'S GET IT ON!

Undertaker gets the first pin attempt off a big boot but Stone Cold's count only reaches one. Taker pushes Batista into the corner and Stone Cold counts to four, forcing Undertaker to break clean. Batista shoves Taker to the opposite corner then starts taking him around the ring, bouncing his head off the turnbuckles. Batista continues to unload with punches but Taker comes back with an elbow to the head and another cover for two. Taker goes for a triangle choke and Batista gets the ropes. Well at least we got SOME MMA tonight! Taker throws elbows at the back of Batista's head in the corner and goes for a running knee to the back but Batista rolls out of the way. They go to the outside and Batista drives him into the ring apron before rolling him back in. Undertaker slams into him after ducking a clothesline and flying through the air to get another near fall. Taker goes up for old school but Big Dave cuts him off. Undertaker knocks him off the ropes and goes back in control but Batista ducks him when he charges the corner and spills over the top rope, looking a little out of control as he comes down. Batista throws him back in. Undertaker gets back on offense with a leg drop on the apron.

This match is back and forth all the way! Undertaker whips Batista into the corner and hits two running clotheslines, but Batista staggers out and hits a clothesline of his own. He goes for the Demon Bomb and Undertaker cuts him off and powers him into the corner. Batista reverses and whips Undertaker to the corner, but misses a spear and hits his shoulder into the post. Batista slams him but Taker puts on another triangle choke, this time in the middle of the ring. Stone Cold picks up his arm once, it drops, and the second time he holds it up. Batista pushes his way on top so Taker's shoulders are down and Taker has to break the hold at two. He grabs Batista for the chokeslam, Big Dave powers out with elbows and fists, throws Taker off the ropes but Taker ducks the clothesline and hits a chokeslam! Batista kicks out at 2.9. Batista hits a spear! Taker kicks out at 2.9. Batista goes for a Demon Bomb but Taker turns it into a high back bodydrop. Taker charges, Batista sweeps with a drop toehold and he goes face first into the second turnbuckle. Batista puts him in the corner but Taker comes up underneath and slams him down hard. Two count. Undertaker goes for the tombstone, Batista gives him the Bomb, Taker kicks out before 3! Taker sits up. Batista hits another and Taker kicks out. Finally Big Dave gets pumped up and does it one more time and gets three! WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: BATISTA. That's it folks - no Chris Jericho tonight. Thanks for reading our recap and thanks to everybody at DJ's Dugout. G'night!